5 Yr Old Holds His Potty and Soils His Pants

I remember my friend having this issue with her son. She gave him prunes and put a tablespoon of glycerin in his oatmeal. That reduced the constipation making his experience better. Have you tried giving him some incentives, like matchbox cars or something that he really loves?

Hi C.!

I didn't know that it actually had a name "encopresis". WOW! I am relieved to know that they actually gave it a name because it's so popular :o)

When my son did this, I had thought he "relapsed" from being potty perfect. The only thing I could think of was ask him to help mommy clean him up. I thought due to his age, he could be "responsible" enough to help me if I guided him in a loving way like I did when i taught him how to get dressed long ago :O)

I made his bathroom equipped with everything we needed to do the job; wipee's, underpants, etc... and showed him how to do everything without flooding the toilet :O)

After 3 times of showing him, I told him that because he was a big boy, he could clean himself now, just please don't flush until mommy makes sure that the toilet is 'OK". I would check on him by asking him (through the closed door)if he was ok. He always said "yes" because he wanted to show me how big he was and didn't want to disappoint me. I just had to make certain that we didn't skip a bath that night :O)

I kept very patient and loving (and tried not to gag), because I didn't want to develope any more insecurities on his part. I was very nervous because he was going to start Kindergarten with this problem.

After he began to clean himself, the problem almost stopped completely, with only a few accidents between long spans of days. After he started Kindergarten, he would wait until he got home to "take care of business". Because as he began school, his body was able to establish a routine, just like a real big boy.

We never talked about it, other than I asked if he needed any help. He always said "NO I can do it", and he eventually stopped the problem, as I think he got tired of cleaning himself. But sometimes that how we all learn. We all figure out a way to do things 'easier" after we practice the hard way :o) I believe that this problem goes in that same category.

I would just try not to read too much into the whole thing. He's just trying to figure out how to be "big" by himself without any help from mommy. He'll figure it out quicker and without trauma if his mommy just gives him support and the ways to take care of himself.

I'm sure he'll be back to normal in no time.

~N. :O)

i wonder if you could break this down into steps for him.

I have a friend who let her 5 year old poop in a diaper. Sounds weird, but if it makes your son comfortable, he would at least have the chance to practice identifying when he needs to go, saying something to you, and getting to the bathroom. After a while, he might be comfortable sitting on the toilet in a diaper, and then one day without the diaper....

I'm not suggesting this as a prescription, but just a suggestion to break down the learning into small, confidence-building steps.

Luck!

Our pediatrician recommended Metamucil cookies for my daughter when she got constipated and afraid of pooping (they have them at our local Safeway in the pharmacy dept.). I called them magic cookies and told her they would help the poop come out easier. If it still hurt a little I'd say, "That's ok. It just means we need a little more magic cookies." Probably half a cookie with LOTS of water will be a good dose for him.

Our son also has encopresis. I'd give your pediatrician a call for the best strategy for your child. Ours had us do a suppository, followed by regular use of mineral oil and fiber treatments. Unfortunately, this is a condition that will go away and often return. In our case, we're still battling it. Going poop is on our six-year-old's chore chart because it's that big of an issue. He knows if he goes, he'll get his allowance. Bribery is a key strategy. He will hold it for a week if we let him and that can lead to serious complications.

Definitely get help from the pediatrician.

Check out the website for the Encopresis Treatment Center in Edmonds, Washington. You may also want to consult with a child psychologist, because the emotional effects associated with encopresis can be longer lasting than the physical effects. A child psychologist can also give you further options for treatment.

My oldest did this. In his case I believe it was a control issue (divorced parents, etc.), and he would have mini-accidents until about age 8.

I mistakenly would sometimes get mad at him. He outgrew it, and in hindsight I would say to clean it up, and don't make a big deal out of it. Making a big deal makes it worse.

Bowel and urinary processes are controlled by the central nervous system.

Vit B complex supports the central nervous system and so does Magnesium. They can be a great help to all kinds of bowel problems. Use Dimagnesium malate 500-mg. Also use fulvic acid when you take the supplements to help absorb them into your cells. Since most supplements add vit d to them and don't mark it on the label be careful of the supplier. I wonder if Shaklee is vit d clear?

Hyperviaminosis of Vit D can cause lowered magnesium and also hypercalcemia (malfunctioning calcium metabolism.) Calcium and magnesium have a synergistic relationship.
SO, stop all forms of vit d foods :vit d enriched milk (use watered down half and half with no D or use carb solutions vanilla protien drink), no vitamin enriched breakfast cereals, (old fashioned oatmeal is ok)no egg yolk (use egg whites), no mayo (use vegenaise)No seafood at all, no processed flours and grains or products that have milled flour in it, no mushrooms, no flax oil. Also NO SOY or any derivative of. Also keep sugars to a minimum.(use xylitol) or if you must, mannitol) No Bacon or pork fat(high in vit d!). Oils are ok- especially walnut oil. (keep it in fridge)
It is OK to stop vit d because our body makes plenty of it, we can even make it from light sources like lightbulbs, and certainly from the sun. Don't go excessively in the sun though, because you are trying to reduce the D in the body. It will take about 4 weeks for your body to re-regulate itself and get out of a toxic D state.

Give it 4 weeks and you will see an improvement. I can almost guarantee it 100 %.

Fist I want to say I wouldn't stop all forms of Vit D unless your sure he's getting too much. A lot of people are deficiant in Vit D because of the obsesion with sunscreen and sun exposure. You can ask your doc to get his vit D level checked if that is a concern. Most doctors reccomend a Vit D supplement. Anyhow my son also had this problem with holding poop. Using laxitives regulary helps so he can't hold it and then they get used to the idea and that helped my son get over it. I didn't like to idea of always giving him laxitives so I started him on fibersure with is made of inulin and that really keeps the stool soft. Good luck I know how hard this can be.

miralax works wonders, but i suggest seeing your pediatrician, also, check out these sites:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Encopresis
http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html

good luck,
aline

Hi C.

My son was the same way, would hold it and then eventually have an accident in his pants.. I wouldn't go as far as labeling it because that implies that there is a problem with your child, when really, kids do this type of thing all the time.I believe it's natural. Eventually, by about 5 is was going in the toilet, but until he was about 6 would still have the occasional (#1 accident in his bed) again, I didn't worry so much about it or make a big deal. EVERY child is different and so many parents these days think that if their child isn't trained by a certain age, bam the kid has a problem. Don't worry C... You son will do it. Just keep encouraging him..

best to you!

You say "potty" but it sounds more like poop? If it is poop that he won't do, my grandson had the same problem. We started out giving him a suppository because he was so backed up. Once we did that, then we started having him drink mineral oil two times per day, 1/8 cup each time. The mineral oil goes through their system into their bowel and will coat the poop making it softer and easier to get out. Then, when he went to the bathroom, we put a foot stool under his feet so that he would have some support while on the toilet. You will have to coax him the first few times, but after that he should realize that it doesn't hurt and will hopefully go on his own after that. The doctor told us that one of the problems with them holding it is that the bowel will stretch and then they don't feel the need to poop sometimes for a couple of days because the bowel is so stretched out. If the poop sits in the bowel that long, the bowel dries it out and it becomes hard and then it hurts to go so you have to get him going on a regular basis. Also, try Activia. I give it to my granddaughter daily and she hasn't had a problem in over two months now!