R.L.
Children sometimes need our help with difficult emotions such as grief, sadness, fear, and anger. The world is full of men who were not helped, instead were told to "toughen up", and end up in our prisons or perhaps running our government. Of course if someone is beating you up and there is no adult around to help, you might have to hit someone to defend yourself, but these circumstances are rare, and there are usually much better ways to keep yourself safe. There are lots of possible reasons for why your son is emotional, but the most important thing to remember is that he is expressing a need that he needs help with. He could be experiencing anxiety related to the death of his brother, or picking up on your grief and worry. I would strongly recommend counseling with an agency that specializes in grief issues. It would also be great to help him find activities that he is interested in, where he can experience success and gain confidence. Please don't try to toughen him up. When he feels less worry and more confidence in himself, he won't appear to be so emotional, and other kids will see that and respond better to him. In the meantime, help him understand that sometimes people act badly because no one is helping them know how to act well, but you are so proud of him for knowing right from wrong, and you will help him to stay safe.