5 Year Old Still Wets His Pants

It sounds like he does what my kids did when they were young - he waits until the last secong holding it, and a little comes out. I don't know if it's because they are young, or just too busy to stop playing, etc. but my children all outgrew it.

Please don't punish him. It is not his fault; this problem has a physiological basis. I had "accidents" until I was ELEVEN and it was traumatizing and humiliating for me. Thank God my parents were supportive...I can even remember quite clearly having no control, and being horrified when (after praying it wouldn't)it would happen again.
I concurr with everyone who says to find a new Doctor. Call Children's Hospital...I'm sure they have a specialist.
Good luck! :)

If he's having accidents that are not large enough to soak through, I'm wondering if he may have a physical problem. Perhaps not emptying his bladder completely when he goes. It's worth seeing a pediatric urologist. My son is 5 and occassionally still wets his pants, but it's always enough to soak and it's always when he has been busy playing or doing something and he just forgot to go.

I would go back to the doc and ask to see a urologist. Tell them about the results of his toileting schedule and have them check for any physical reasons for his having accidents. It sounds like this is more complex then just a wetting issue, be it physical or psychological. Giood luck :)

I would not punish for this, I would encourage and praise for the times he does not do it. That being said, I am sure you are terribly frustrated! Talk to your doctor, he may need to be checked for bladder problems at this point. Or it may be just that he gets so wrapped up in what he's doing that he forgets to go to the potty. Is he nervous about school or anything? Is there anyone in class maybe being mean to him? When you ask him why this happens, what does he tell you?
I know it's hard not to get angry, but shaming him will not help him stop! I have worked with kids with enuresis, and it is tough. When it happens, just ask him why he thinks it happened and tell him you want to help him stop. A little encouragement goes a long way! :)
Good luck!

N., a nurse suggested to me a nasal spray that helped our son. He would get hardly no warning before he had to go. Night time was when he would get no wake up warning. It seemed his bladder was over active and the nasal spray had something that helped him. It took less than three months and I think he was much older than 5 when we got found this out. The initials were DDT, DNT or DVT, something like that, it's been a long time, he's 31. Other friends have tried it with success as well.For some reason my doctor was hesitant to tell me about it but when I ask for it prescribed it. There was no addiction, he just stopped taking it after he started waking up at night. I also alerted his teachers when he said he had to go to please let him because by the time he felt it, it would be an emergency. It was such a wonderful gift of freedom for him, I was sad we didn't know about it sooner. I've heard awful stories about moms who tried to shame their children into dry pants but I can assure you, this is not something that is done on purpose. I made alot of mistakes before I knew the truth behind his problem.

Deal with it discreetly and keeping dignity for your little one as his protector MOM hero.

Blessings, dear one, M.

N.,
First, I would find a new Doctor.

No really, at this age, your son's accidents, if only occurring rarely, would not concern me but you stating that it is an almost daily occurrence makes me think your Dr. should be doing a few tests rather than just trying behavior modification.

Please ask your doctor for a hormone imbalance test to be done. These accidents may just be a sign of a medical condition that could easily be adjusted with temporary medication. If your Dr. is resistant, ask for a referral to a neurologist (who would deal with hormones and the endocrine system) just to talk about the challenges facing your son with these daily accidents.

Don't fret, it sounds to me like it is not a behavior issue or anything you can cajole your son out of but rather an uncontrollable issue that makes him embarrassed and regretful. You might also want to ask for a referral to a Urologist. My son (3) had issues with pain while urinating and accidents and what we finally discovered was that he was constipated and it pressed on his bladder giving him urgency. Once he went on a daily does of soluble fiber, everything got better. You can find the answer with some determination, just don't let the DR. stop searching until you are satisfied.

Your such a good mom, being so concerned and continuing to look for answers and help about your children. You'll find the solution.

ann m.

Believe it or not your son is not that bad. I've had two children struggle with soaking their pants through. One is 6 and rarely does it anymore and the other who is four, was doing fine and now doesnt go potty at all and soaks his pants through.

Boys get lazy and distracted I think with peeing. Also, for my sons constipation comes into play. If he just has little stains this is completely normal. Even my 8 year old occasionally has this. Its when they are wetting themselves through that you may need to get a doctor to just check all the bases.

We had test done on my oldest and all it came back iwth was constipation. Once we took care of that he was fine. We've noticed the same thing with my four year old but there have been some big changes in our family too that also coincide with when this started happening.We've noticed overtiredness comes into play too.

Don't worry about it, it is a fact of life. I would say nothing. He really isnt that bad if its just a little stain. Boys are so busy, they tend to wait till the last minute!

N.,

Does her go to the nurse and go to the bathroom or does an aide take him there on a regular basis (i.e. every hour, two hours, etc.?). My friend had a similar problem and her pediatrician told her to have her son go to the bathroom and sit for five minutes every 2 hours or so. This would also be carried through at home, no matter what you're doing. Out and about, playing outside, etc. It seems to have worked itself out within 6 months. Because he is growing and his bladder is changing, this may continue in spurts over time. Also you may want to have an internist check him to see that he doesn't have a physical control issue that he "can't help".

Your sons problem sounds similar to the problem I had with my son. My son could always hold his pee in for long periods of time. When he was about 5 and a half, he started leaking urine, in very small amounts, in his underwear without having any control over it. And he suddenly started peeing the bed, which he had never done, not even while potty training. I thought it was a Urinary Tract Infection and brought him to the doctor's office right away, but the tests kept coming back negative, and they told me it's very difficult for a boy to get a bladder infection because of the length of their urethra.
After going back and forth and the tests continuing to come back negative, they sent me to a pediatric urologist. They told me that he probably damaged something from always holding it in for long periods of time and that any pain was probably caused by the concentration of his urine. They did check to make sure that he was totally emptying his bladder when he peed, which he was. He was put on a voiding schedule (to pee or empty his bladder every 2-3 hours), and we had to make sure he got 30 ounces of water/fluids every day (that's alot harder than you'd think). My son is almost 7 now, and his bladder problem slowly got better and better. He hasn't wet the bed in a really long time (I was able to stop putting the night-time pullups on him), but he still does have some small amount of leaking once in a while. The leaking has never been serious enough to wear anything besides his underwear though, so it's not that bad. I would definitely suggest that you bring him to a pediatric urologist (we went to a CHOP one in MaysLanding- they have doctors at different locations, so you can find one closer to you). Meantime, I would suggest that you continue to prompt him to empty his bladder every couple hours to keep him from developing any further problems. Even if he doesn't feel like he has to go, ensure him that there is still pee in there and he can empty it out so he doesn't have to go while he's sleeping or have any accidents. I'm sure it will get better, just get him checked out to make sure it isn't anything more serious.

I remember that my cousin was almost 10 and still had accidents in the middle of the night. Her bladder had not matured fully yet. I'd ask the doctor to check this out.
That being said, I can understand how frustrating it is for you. I would try to talk to your son about how it makes him feel when he pees in his pants. I know these questions may sound weird, but ask things like, what does it feel like when you go pee in your pants? Is it wet, warm? Does he realize that it smells bad? Maybe it embarrasses him or maybe he feels comfort when he pees in his pants. Maybe you can narrow down when he's doing it. Is there something that is happening that causes him to sprinkle? Like nervousness, shame, excitement, etc...
I'd also check out the library or book store on books that you may be able to read to him about having accidents.
Good luck!
K.

I agree with the other post--please try not to shame him or punish him. It will have the opposite effect. I know it's frustrating but I think he probably needs encouragement. Maybe say "Well, you had an accident today, maybe you can have a dry day tomorrow" -- things like that. Good luck! How about 7 dry days in a row and he gets treat or reward of a small toy/game? You could have him help you make a chart for stickers to count the days.

My son will be 6 next month and I sweat he'd hold it for 8 hours if I never ask him if he needs to pee. I fear I may have to be his prom date just so I can remind him to go! LOL

By this age I'm going to assume he has Enuresis, where mostly boys will wet until up to age 12, usually when puberty begins. I went through this with my oldest who is now 21. I used to punish him for being lazy. He was inconsistent, seemed fine for periods and then accidents again. When the doc diagnosed him I felt bad for punishing him because it wasn't his fault. It was his bladder. So after that, he was only punished for not cleaning his mess. He was 8 when he was finally diagnosed so his job was to take off his sheets if he wet them and and wet clothes went into the hamper as well. So he only got punished if he walked around wet, didn't strip his sheets in the morning or threw wet clothes on the floor. He was old enough to know better. Sure enough, by age 12 when nocturnal emissions started the wetting ended! LOL Some boys, sometimes girls, will stop earlier. You can look it up online. All you can really do is encourage him to stay dry, limit drinks after dinner, potty him more often than the average child and keep a supply of clean clothes in the car along with a box of baby wipes. The biggest thing is to accept that this is a medical condition of a weak bladder and move on. You'll frustrate you and your son otherwise.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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Go to a pediatric urologist. We had this problem with a daughter and there were physical reasons. She outgrew it, but it was a problem from age 5 to age 10. Get him checked out and see if there's a bladder problem, or urinary tract infections.

That can also be a sign of diabetes, so I would get it checked out. Maybe nothing, but you never know.

I would get a full work up from a urologist. If that doesn't show anything, maybe a behavioral therapist can get to the root cause. At 6 yrs old, there has to be something going on that he can't control.

Stay positive and encouraging. I don't think punishment or bribery work in these situations.

Good luck!