My 2nd son is 5 weeks old and I am having a very hard time getting him to sleep in his crib. He only sleeps for 30-45 minutes for his daily naps and I try my hardest to see when he's sleepy to put him in his crib so he can fall asleep on his own. I also try to make sure he's recently fed before "bedtime." He will begin to fuss after 10 minutes or so and I don't go into his room right away to see if he will settle himself. When he doesn't, I go in and try to pat his back and shush him (Baby Whisperer) or give him his pacifier. When that doesn't work, I will pick him up, check his diaper, see if he looks hungry, then hold him for a few minutes to try to calm him if needed. I am finding it very hard to catch him at the right time before he's overtired and it's taking me 1-2 hours to get him to sleep successfully. Once asleep at night, he'll sleep for 3-6 hours, wake to eat, go back to sleep (with assistance) and do another 2 hour stretch, wake to eat a 2nd time, go back to sleep and do a 2nd 2 hour stretch. I know it is too early to sleep train but just would like some advice on getting him to sleep without creating a habit I'll have to break later. Help!
Try putting the baby in his carseat to sleep. I couldn't get my son to sleep in the craddle so I tried the carseat and he sleeps soundly. I'm guessing because he feels like he is being held or cradled. Good luck!
Personally, I wouldn't worry about getting him to learn to fall asleep on his own this early. He's still sooooooo young. I don't know what the experts say and I'm certainly no expert but I just think a baby that's a little over a month old shouldn't have to "learn" anything yet :)
What I would do though is always put him down for naps and bedtime in his crib (or bassinet). He will start to associate that is the place for sleeping. Don't let the little guy cry it out yet though. You really do have plenty of time before he will start developing bad habits.
And congratulations on the new arrival!!
I follow Weissbluth's book and it looks like you've already read it. The idea that newborns should only be awake for 60-90 minutes at a time was very helpful for me. I nursed my kids to sleep and then laid them down in their cribs. Swaddling can also be very helpful. Re-read the section on the first 6 weeks-- basically, there is not schedule. I like the idea of using a sling. As long as I was moving around, my kids slept great in the sling. Good luck!
Hi R..
Wow! I'm glad I am not Lori O's baby. Do NOT let your baby cry at 5 weeks. I am a firm believer in sleep training. In fact, we just did this with my almost 5 month old, but 5 weeks is way too young! Hold your baby and cuddle hinm and love him. That is your job right now. Good luck.
Hi -
Your little one is only 5 WEEKS OLD! Cuddle him, love him, check on him when he's crying...at this age they NEED you to comfort, feed, and keep them clean.
So give the baby a break - love him up!
In anycase, the sling and baby bjorn are great ways to move around during the day so definitely invest in one or both of those!
Well it sounds like you're already ahead of the game is he is sleeping up to 6 hours at a stretch so lets take a moment to be thankful for that! He's too young for his daytime sleep to be really well organized and reliable. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about setting up habits right now. Until your son is about 3 months just do whatever you have to do (that you are comfortable with) for everyone to get some sleep and be happy enough to enjoy these precious baby times. I personally think its fine to co-sleep if you want right now. Then when he is around 3 months you need to start setting up really good sleep habits to take into the future
My other advice is to swaddle if you're not doing that. It worked wonders for my kids.
Congrats on the baby and enjoy your family!
R.-
As a read your post, I thought I was reading a description of what was going on in my house! I have 2 boys, a 3 year old and a 7 week old. My 7 week old has very similiar sleep habits and I am also trying to teach him to fall asleep on his own. My first suggestion was going to be to read Dr. Weisbuth's book but you already did that! I learned a lot from that book and his methods were sucessful in sleep training our 3 year old when he was a baby.
I really think you should keep doing what you're doing and give him more time. We didn't start sleep training our 3 year old until he was 9 weeks and it didn't take very long at all for him to develop good sleeping habits. Your son is still young and may just need more time to figure it out. I am currently working with my 7 week old to fall asleep on his own and sometimes it takes 45 minutes for him to finially drift off and in the mean time, I'm back in his room repeatidly to replace his pacifer or give a gentle rub. And sometimes it is only for 20 minutes (which is frustrating...but we'll get there), but at least he fell asleep on his own. I know the naps will get longer.
Just hold on and stay positive. Use your books as resources and keep doing what you're doing. He'll figure it out...it just may take a few more weeks!
Good luck and best wishes!
No need to worry about habits till about 12 weeks or so, so get yourself a sling, put the baby in it, and go do something fun with your 3 year old during the day!
Haven't read the other responses so sorry if I duplicate. 5 weeks is really really little. You will NOT create any perminant sleep habits before about 4 months of age, so don't worry about that. Do what you need to to comfort your baby and follow your instincts. Honestly, I never ever put my babies in their own crib at that age - it was just too isolated for them. I had a co-sleeper (or often they ended up in bed next to me) until about 4 months for my son, 7 months for my daughter. Then they moved into the crib.
One thing is that babies know your scent, so if you put a shirt that you wore the previous day down in the crib with him, he may be more comfortable on his own. But really, at this age they can sleep anywhere. I often let my daughter fall asleep on my lap/chest when she was that small - it is so nice and snuggly to sleep with a baby - enjoy it while you can!
This is going to be hard to do, but you have to just let him cry. He will eventually go to sleep. This is advice that I myself was given from my child's doctor. Every time you put him down, the crying time will be less and soon he will go to sleep without crying. As for your older son, I don't lay in bed with him anymore. He will be too dependent on you in the future. Give him a rewards chart, if he can go to bed and stay in his bed for 2 nights, give him a prize. Then move it to 1 week, 1 month, 2 months, etc. Soon he too will go to sleep without needing anyone to lay next to him.
At that age, I used the "magic sling". It's the one by Infantino at Target. My son would always fall asleep in it. It worked like magic.
I also rocked him to sleep. Our bedtime routine was: change diaper, breastfeed, rock, sleep. I continued to hold him for about 20-30 minutes after he fell asleep and that allowed him to get into a deep enough sleep to be moved to the crib without waking him. Enjoy the rocking time. My son is now 6 months and he hasn't let me rock him since... I don't even remember when, maybe at 3 months he got too squirmy? *sigh*
oh and keep following weissbluth's book. I started sleep training at 6 weeks and by 8 weeks he was sleeping through the night. We also have no problem getting him to go to sleep. It works!
you are not creating any habits at this age...in fact that habit thing is really a myth in general. Kids change so much during their first year they hardly have time to create a habit! You need to remember a few things for this difficult time! First of all the moms that tell you their newborn slept all day are lucky or not remembering! I remember thinking something was wrong with my child. It would take me 1 to 2 hours to put her to sleep and she would literally sleep for 20 minutes and I would be back at it again since she was cranky! I felt like I spent my entire day trying to put her to sleep. I have a few words of advice I wish I had known sooner. First of all kids dont start taking regular naps until about 6 months old. That is the normal. They sleep of course but not as regular and as long as they will as they grow. Second thing I wish I had discovered earlier is a baby carrier. I do not mean the ones you can buy at babies r us, I mean a good supportive baby carrier that will not hurt your back and is comfortable for your child. I recommend a Maya Ring Sling as a great first carrier or a Moby Wrap. If you let me know where you are located I can point you to somewhere you can get assistance with one or try one out before you buy. This will allow you to have 2 free hands and a happy baby all at the same time! Also do you nurse? Dr. Sears talks about how children at this age like to nap nurse. Most likely you are tired too so get in bed with your baby during naps and let the baby nurse and sleep as she pleases. That is what my daughter was trying to do but since it "wasnt time to eat" I never even thought about it. I hope these suggestions bring you peace earlier than it did for me! Good luck and if you are anywhere from chicago to the wisconsin border I can point you to a place to help you chose the perfect carrier so please email me!
I highly recommend this resource....
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
As the mother of a former high-need child, I also highly recommend a lot of holding and rocking and nursing. Your baby had non-stop 24/7 physical contact with you for the only life that he has known until now (in the uterus). For him, to try to sleep on a hard, non-flesh, surface that doesn't move or make sounds is a very strange experience indeed. Ashley Montagu, an anthropologist, in his book "Touching" says that human babies aren't actually done with their gestation until 9 mo. after their birth. So he says that ideally they should be held continually for the first 9 months of their post-birth life.
http://www.amazon.com/Touching-Human-Significance-Ashley-...
I also highly recommend using a lambskin specifically designed for baby-use (they are real lambskin but can be laundered as needed).
http://www.sheepskintown.com/baby-sheepskin-short-wool-p-...
http://www.kiwi-sheepskins.com/detail.asp?product_id=BA001
http://www.sheepskinfurs.com/27-baby-lambskins.html
Best wishes,
J.
Your son is still in the fourth trimester. It's too early to be worrying too much about bad habits ;). Remember, he's used to being "held" 24-7. My daughter preferred to sleep in her swing or carseat for a long time, because it was cozier for her. Personally, I would wait until at least 3-4 months to worry about where and how he goes to sleep.
5 weeks is very young to be worried about developing bad habits or serious sleep training. Babies do need help going to sleep. If you think about it, 9 months of his little life, you have been rocking him to sleep. And after 5 weeks, it is a bit unrealistic to think he can go from being rocked to sleep to falling asleep on his own. There are no habits at this age that will need to be broken later. Seriously.
Baby Whisperer is EXCELLENT and if you like her philosophy, the best web site for advice in alignment with her philosophy is www.babywhispererforums.com. Advice is coming from other women who have successfully implemented her methods.
FWIW, I used baby whisperer with both of my kids. One is 7 weeks older than yours. I pt/sh in my arms until his eyes are half/slits, and then lay him down at that age. He'll wake a little and drift back to sleep. As the weeks go by, I put him down a bit quicker when he's a bit more awake. This morning I noticed he squirmed a bit as I was pt/sh. I laid him down in his crib with eyes fully open and he calmed himself to sleep. But this is after weeks of not laying him down until he was almost asleep, and then doing it less and less each time.
For those parents who are advocating crying it out. Even the experts do not advocate crying it out at this young of an age. Including Weissbluth and Ferber. This is way too early. The only thing you are teaching is that crying is useless because no one is going to come help me. I strongly advise against ever crying it out, but if you must, at least read Ferber who was the one who started it to begin with and has a realistic approach and age guidelines for it. That being said, even Ferber who started it was on Dateline stating that had he ever known so many mothers would use it as a tool, he would never have advocated. He said that it was overused and used improperly and really only applies to about 10% of sleep issues.
hello R.
I am a mother of three and my girl friends & I have experience the same problem. When my babies were weeks old I use to wrap them up tight in a receiving blanket like the nurses did in the hospital, because they were use to being in the womb where its nice and warm. Babies are use to being snug b/c the womb is not a big place. I kept the room a little warmer and slowly drop them temperture to room temp when they were about 4 weeks old. But on the other hand if the baby is use to sleeping in the bed with you or you are breast feeding he/she may be use to smelling your scent. Try putting a shirt or a piece of clothing that you have worn in the crib with him/her. They can smell the scent from the item when they are sleep and think you are there. This worked for me for all three kids. Good luck.
Congrats on your new son! Agree that making sure babies settle themselves to sleep is very important, but 5 weeks is too young to start this, which is probably why it's not working. He's just not ready. Try swaddling him tight and getting him to sleep and then once he's sound asleep, put him in his crib. I would also recommend a sleep positioner as he will feel more snug and secure in his swaddle in the crib. We have a 5 month old daughter and started letting her settle herself in her crib around 10-12 weeks and she does fine with it now. Good luck!
