5 And a Half Year Old Pooping in Pants!!

Who knows why. It could have been because she wasn't comfortable pooping at another persons house. Perhaps, she was too busy playing in this different environment until the last minute and didn't get to the bathroom soon enough. Perhaps her body was acting of its own accord, similar to when a pregnant mother wets herself when she sneezes. Most likely though, she was very embarassed about the accidents. Thus, the hiding it. I would talk with her in a private situation (without others or her twin around) and ask about it in a comforting manner. If it was out of defiance, there were probably reasons for that too. Best of luck discovering the truth and then discussing the truth.

I have learned to never set my children up to lie. If you suspected that she had soiled her pants, the proper thing to do was remove her from the situation. If this happens again, don't ask her if she messed her pants, assume she did and tell her you have a clean outfit for her to change into. I am sure it was a very uncomfortable situation for her to be in. I would spend time building her trust so that she knows that you will be there for her during hard times. Hopefully you can build the trust before the teen years and she won't feel the urge to lie.

When my 10 yr old was 5 he was having issues with bowel movements in his pants. it was horrible and it went on for months. I was so angry that he kept doing it and that he did it for so long. WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION WARNING it ranged from diarrhea to being dry and it smelled 'old'. He never told me that he just couldn't help it... I had to figure that out myself. I noticed one day that he was trying very hard to reach the bathroom before he had an accident. It opened up a whole new set of questions for me. Come to find out he was not able to feel that he had to poop until it was too late. I took him to the doctor and had an xray done and he had a blockage in his large intestine from having been constipated and it distended his bowels. He lost feeling in his colon and rectum and couldn't tell he had to go to the bathroom until there was so much pressure on his anus. (sorry for the TMI)
he couldn't break down proteins in milk and we had to completely restrict dairy from his diet and give him huge doses of Mirilax for a while to empty him out and allow him time to heal up. Even now he still has some issues with dairy but he can tell the signs before it gets too late and he can adjust his diet.

I know that you are concerned with your daughter lying about it. my son wasn't open about it when it happened because he knew that you just don't poop your pants.
Obviously your daughter doesn't want to get in trouble for messing her pants. The fact that she hid it means that she was ashamed and knew you would be disappointed to find that she had messed her pants. She didn't want to get in trouble. and the reason she was convincing about the lie is because you love her and she doesn't often lie to you so you believe her, and that's good that you have that kind of trust.

this is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt if at all, but don't get too worried about it being a big problem yet. maybe she hadn't been feeling well and had accidents because of a stomach bug or maybe there is something going on like my son. Let her know that even though you are not excited that it happened you want her to be honest with you so that you can help her.

After battling this with my 3rd grade son for a couple of months, I finally broke down and took him to his pediatrician. She was not appalled or even surprised that a kid his age would be doing this. She said it was probably due to constipation. Apparently, he was so "blocked up" that he was unable to go when he was using the restroom. Then his bowels would just force the issue when he was off playing or something. She prescribed a stool softener for him and that ended the problem right away. He no longer takes the stool softener but is more careful about drinking more water and getting more fiber into his diet.

It is not your child's- or your- fault. She surely doesn't know what is happening.I can share with you my daughter's story. Some children- like my daughter- have a problem called encopresis. Basically, they hold in their poop. My daughter has had it off and on since 18 months' age. What happens is they hold in their poop and the stool builds up inside their colon and gets all hard so it is too painful to push it out. Then more stool liquifies behind it and seeps around the mass, causing the "dried on" stool you noticed in your child's underpants. It requires a visit to the doctor to evaluate and it REALLY important to follow up on immediately because it can lead to lifelong problems. Just being really constipated once and pushing out a painful stool can lead to problems with encopresis. Lots of kids have constipation. Do you look at your daughter's stools? Are they huge? This is one sign of constipation and it hurts. I was so frustrated in the past, thinking my daughter's poopy pants was an issue with potty training. My daughter used to hide from me when she felt a need to pass a stool because it hurt too much to use the potty. Then I'd see the underwear and feel so confused and frustrated! First, I switched doctors because her original doctor did not take my concerns seriously enough (look up "encopresis" online and see if it describes what you are seeing) and then we were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist, who was fantastic. He did some tests to rule out more serious problems and then put her on a stool softener. She has been on it for a year now and is doing really well. We avoid hard cheeses and foods like peanut butter and limit bananas which cause constipation and work on drinking more (which has always been a challenge) and eating high fiber meals. I keep a stool log, to keep track of how often she poops and look at the consistency (yes, I know- seems like too much information, but is truly helpful). We can tell she is making great progress. No more smears in her pants and she feels so proud! The best part is not being frustrated anymore and being able to support her.
I read the other responses and would like to say a word about "lying." Your daughter probably has no idea what is happening to her and doesn't know what else to do. If you are like I was before I knew what was wrong, every time I'd find the messy pants I would get angry, so my daughter probably "lied" out of fear of my response. Once we had a good knowledgeable doctor working with us and had a plan, we were able to give hugs and encouragement instead of being angry and everything changed. She tells us what is happening now because she is no longer afraid and confused. Remember, she is only 5. All children that age can tend to wait too long to go to the bathroom, but if it's encopresis, this is something altogether different. It will not get better by just telling her to go to the bathroom. It simply hurts too much.

Hi, both my children have had poop accidents. They are too busy playing that they don't want to stop to go to the bathroom. My children are afraid they are going to miss something. You have to make them go to the bathroom if they are hard at play and haven't been for a while. Make up something like "hey guys, it's healthy snack time" so they come inside. And my children have both hidden they're soiled underwear so they don't get yelled at. They don't think it's that big of a deal. Hope this helps, i can't help but smile while typing this. J.

She may have just been embarrassed about the poop, or she may have been scared about what would happen if she told you. Either way, you can let her know that telling the truth is more important to you than anything she did. When my daughter was 4 she lied about using a marker on the wall, and I had this talk with her. Over the years, then, I stayed true to my commitment to keep my cool if she was willing to be open and honest with me. During her teen years I was SO glad we had developed this "safe to tell mom" kind of relationship--and now she's 30 and we still have a great friendship.

You are the first one w/ a girl who has this problem--usually it's boys because girls don't like to be "dirty". My 5 and a half year old boy still has issues w/ this and our last thing was him hiding the poop under the bed. My husband went into our guest bedroom and thought he smelled it so he looked around. Sure enough there was poop under the bed. My son has such issues with the whole pooping thing and we have been dealing w/ it for a year and a half. We thought he was finally trained and going on the toilet and then during Christmas break he back slid and started messing his pants again. His problem now is he just gets busy and "forgets" to go. We have to constantly remind him to go. He will still occasionally lie and tell us he hasn't pooped his pants and then just like your daughter wants privacy when he puts on his pajamas too so he can hide the underwear--which he did that for a while too--found a couple pairs stuffed under the couch totally gross.

Anyway, enough about me and mine. Was she really busy playing on your trip? Like I said, sometimes they get busy and just "forget" We have the most problems when my son gets on the computer. Has she had any more accidents since you have been home? Think about how hard it is to really master toilet habits. Haven't we all been really busy sometimes and don't want to have to take the time and go? Of course being adults we do, but kids don't always have that sense. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless it continues to happen.

my son is not 5 and a year ago we put a stop to this finaly. First if she dose this once in a wile at home "an accedent" the fine it happens but if this is happining often the make her sit on the toile "a toilet" time out each time you discover this has happened. if that dose not stop it which it did not for my son we put him in a cool shower each tiem he did this not a cold shower but cool bearly warm after the 2 or 3 cool shower he learned his lesson and stoped. But you must make sure she understands that she needs to go on the potty and that even when she gets excited she needs to go and she can come back out and play when she is done going on the potty.

I had the same situation and it is VERY common if you talk to a doctor or nurse. My son did this in kindergarten. At this age it seems these kids don't want to take the time out to go to the bathroom. (They might miss something you know!) Anyway, what happens is that they wait for so long and then after a while they no longer have to go. After doing this for awhile (even days) the bowel gets so backed up that it has no place to go and eventually comes out whether the child likes it or not. AND usually they don't even realize it happened. I punished my child for about two weeks because he was going in his pants. He was doing it a school, at home, at the sitters! He would stink so bad that as soon as I got near him I could smell it. What did the teachers think???!!!!! When I finally took him to the doctor they said it was very normal and to tell his school that if he needed to go the bathroom they were to let him go no matter what they were in the middle of. Most teachers (even I do it) say "Hurry Up And Go To The Bathroom!" This was the worst thing for him as he wasn't waiting long enough each time he went to the bathroom to fully "go" so he would end up holding it in the rest of the day.
Before scolding your daughter for the "accident" please take her to the doctor. More than likely they will give you something to get her bowel cleaned out again so she can start fresh agian. My doctor gave me supositories, Mylanta and a diet that would get him going consistantly each day again.
GOOD LUCK!
By the way . . . my son just went through this again in First Grade but I knew the signs and got it taken care of before it got out of hand!!!

What's gross to us isn't necessarily gross to them. The less you make of it the better, in my opinion. I had one child that did that, too, and it took until he was seven to get it under control. I learned to be a good reader of faces - and root out the lies. In the meantime, he had to clean out his pants, change his sheets, load the washer, etc. Sometimes kids have accidents, even at 5 yrs old, and since they know we will be so unhappy about it, they try to conceal it - even when it's obvious to everyone. That's just a sign of their developmental level. It's not something to be upset about. Be calm, confront the lie, forgive her and move on.

SAHM of seven

My almost 6 yr old boy poops his pants too. I also have twins that are 2 and I took my son to the dr as it was becoming a big problem. In his opinion, he was regressing back because he saw the twins doing it and it got my attention. That to me made sense. He got my undivided attention when he does it.
Enjoy those twins..Ill be glad to get past the 2's :)
~ANG~

My son is 8 and although it's gotten much, much better and isn't really much of a problem anymore, we've been dealing with a similar issue for 4 years. The difference is that he usually tells us about it because he wants our help getting cleaned up. It happens to him because of constipation issues and holding his poop (he doesn't want to interrupt what he is doing to get to the potty). It sounds like your daughter's situation was an isolated event because of a new environment. If it continues and if you suspect constipation issues Miralax is a great over the counter stool softener. It used to be available only by prescription. It softens the stool by pulling water from the body into the bowel and then they are unable to hold it and it's easier to get out. It doesn't work immediately or even overnight--it takes a day or two. Something that has improved the situtation for us is making him sit on the potty regularly, even when he says he doesn't have to go. He usually goes even if he says he doesn't have to. Good luck; you're not alone.

If this problem doesn't occur at home, I wouldn't worry too much.
Your daughter is old enough to know that messing in her pants is unacceptable, but who wants to get in trouble (especially when you, as a parent, already know the answer?)
Kids that age, get too busy sometimes, to realize they need to go until it is too late.
I'm sure you already told her that you were disappointed that she didn't tell you the truth, but that trying to hide it was even worse. Even little ones want to do what is right, but maybe she was embarassed in front of family she isn't around all the time.
If it happens again, I would recommend helping her "save face" and take her into another room and take care of the situation.
Maureen
I'm a mother of 6 (2 by birth, 4 by love and marriage), with 10 grandchildren and one more on the way.