4Yr Old Wetting the Bed When She Was Doing So Well Keeping Her Pull-up Dry

Updated on June 19, 2008
J.M. asks from Broomfield, CO
12 answers

I need help. My 4 1/2 yr old was doing so good at keeping her pull-up dry at night, so much we decided to take them away and have her sleep in her panties all night. The first night it was great no accidents. Second night the same way but it has been a week in a half now and she has peed every night. I am tired of washing sheets everyday. I know I should not get angry but it is hard not to be a little disapointed in her. Should I get the pull-ups back out or should I stick it out? I am not sure she will get it. We have taken the drinks away before bedtime and we have made sure she has gone potty before she lays down. Please help.

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So What Happened?

First and foremost, I want to thank every one of you for your quick and very informative responses. We have decided to put her back in pull-ups for now. She was not happy about it. She actually cried but I let her know that if she shows me that she can keep them dry then we will wear our big girl panties to bed again. And again we woke up this morning with a wet pull-up so that leads me to believe that she just isnt ready yet. Oh well the old saying goes We dont want them to grow up. And I guess that is telling me to let her be a little girl a little bit longer. I know I am probably stretching there but it helps. Thank you again!

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

My oldest daughter is in the exact same stage...she was finally having dry pull ups, so we would switch to panties and she would start wetting the bed. So we started the following routine: after a wet panty night we would go back to pull-ups and she would have to have three dry nights in a row before getting to wear panties again. She could wear panties until a wet bed night, then back to pull ups. Wearing panties became such an achievement that she started having more dry nights. She has now gone about 10 nights in a row wearing panties with no accidents. We give her lots of praise and "high fives" each morning she wakes up dry. To ease the pain of doing so much laundry (plus I hate making the bed so much) I bought a couple of mattress pads from babycenter.com that actually go over the sheet and tuck under the mattress; they look kind of like a wide belt that goes across the bed. If she wets, I only have to take off the pad and replace it with a dry one. Much easier in the middle of the night than making up the entire bed with new sheets!

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J.L.

answers from Pocatello on

Take her to the doctor and get her tested for a bladder infection. My daughter has a long history of bladder infections and usually her only symptom is that she wets the bed. She has never had pain and rarely gets a fever. It is hopefully not the problem, but it would be a good idea to get it checked out.

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

What a drag, but don't be discouraged. Just think about how your daughter feels...she knows you don't appreciate the extra work and she probably wonders why she does it. It isn't on purpose. Put your pride away and use a pull up at night. Try again later. It's not he end of the world and there's nothing wrong with her. You're a great Mommy and she's a wonderful little girl!! Patience, time and love will get you through this little trial....Good Luck!

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T.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When we started panties we used chucks under the bottoms to save me a lot of sheet washing.

It is just a large pad that is cloth on one side and plastic on the bottom, You can buy them by the box at Sams. It is the same thing they use under older people in nursing homes.

If there is nohing medically wrong i.e. UTI then she will most likely get the hang of it really quick. My kids hated laying in their pee pee.

Hang in there,
T.

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

one of my kiddos also had bedwetting issues until about age six. I did lot of reserch and discovered that there is actually a hormone that your brain produces at night that signals your body not to produce as much urine while you sleeping and that many children do not begin production of this hormone until they are older. So in short "It's not anyone fault". There are a few tricks you can do to help. Don't drink anything for a couple of hours before bedtime. Or wake them up at the same time every night to use the potty (this only really works for the night owl parent:) put her back in pull-ups. Kids will grow out of it, so try not to worry about it too much.

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M.S.

answers from Casper on

Is there a family history of bed wetters in your family? I know that there are in mine and my poor son is 10 and still has accidents. I also know my brother had accidents up until he was 16. He was taken to a number of specialists and no one could find anything wrong. That is when my parents were told it is hereditary. It is hard to say what you should do. You don't want to discourage her by putting her ack in the pull ups, but you don't want to have to wash every day either. Maybe try the pull ups again for a few days to a week and see how she does with them. Good Luck!!!!

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R.M.

answers from Denver on

what are the consequences?? i believe if there is, this habit will change. stay consistasnt and don't give in. this is a form of manipulation and if you give in now she will use that against you. if you want to you could start to train your 2 year old as well. then she will be able to help out ? don't change her panties in the morning. let her stay wet all day the sooner you nip this in the bud the better.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

Here was my reply to another poster with basically the same question, hope it helps.....

"Accidents are very normal, at night during the day doesn't matter. The night ones are normal but there are a few things that can help, I would guess they are happening because with the nicer weather he is out and more active now and when he goes to sleep at night he is most likly crashing and isn't even aware he needs to go until it happens, you will need to limit his fluids about and hour before he goes to bed, make sure he goes before going down and then at some point in the night you'll have to get up and wake him to go, pick the same time every night, I know that it seems like a pian but the only other real option is to put him back in a pull-up at night, but that won't train his brain to get up and go when he needs to. Maybe another momma will have a better idea, but that has worked for me, well not me but my little ones :)."

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S.F.

answers from Billings on

just a quick comment. i think it's important that we remember that you stated that your daughter did good with the pull up on, but not with wearing panties. maybe that bulkier sensation between her legs performs a sensory reminder whereas the more free-form feeling of panties at night leaves her without a reminder. if you talk to more elderly people struggling with a similar situation, some will tell you that they wear a kotex that helps the body remember to stay in control. (not sure i explained this very well, but thought i'd give it a try).

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W.L.

answers from Boise on

She may not be ready....It is a fact that some children don't have control of their bladder until they are older. I personally leave the pull ups on until they are dry for a very long period of time such as months. If there is a problem they go back on. I also make sure they go to the bathroom before bedtime and as soon as they awake in the morning. Washing sheets only makes them feel bad and makes work for you. There is LOTS of advice on this message board about this issue. Good Luck!!!

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S.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son went through this. The Dr. said it was growing spurts, the muscles and nerves don't grow at the same pace and things like controlling urination seem to regress sometimes. Generally it lasts for a few weeks but can happen again with the next growing spurt. My son had this happen until he was 9. We used the pull ups when he had a problem and once he had it under control again he would let me know and quit using the pulls ups until the next time. It helped him emotionally knowing the Dr. said this was normal and once the nerves caught up to the muscles he would have control again. He was so upset with himself before he knew this and so much more relaxed about it after he knew why, I would recommend you tell your daughter what is happening. I would also recommend seeing your pediatrician just to make sure it isn't a bladder infection or something else.
Good luck,
SarahMM

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

IF she is doing really well during the day I would put pullups back on at night. She has no or little control how things go at night. If she is a deep sleeper then it is really hard to know to get up and go to the bathroom.
What really worked with my son is a few nights I would get him up again when I went to bed and have him try and pee again. It seemed to really help him a lot. Then he got to where he went 11 to 12 hours without having to get up.
Watch how much she is taking on during the day liquid wise too, not just before bed. During the summer they drink more ( which they should) however if she is drinking three or four glasses of water or milk even late afternoon, make sure she is going to the potty more too.
They have speical night time ones for kids just learning. Hang in there and be patient. Night time can be the one that takes the longest but worth it.
Make sure she has a plastic mattress cover too to make clean up easier. I would do pullups so she and you both get some relief from it being stressful.

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