4Yr Old Still Sick When Baby Born? What If?!

This happened when my baby girl was about 2 weeks old. My 4 yo brought home a cold, and both he and my husband got sick. We basically just kept them separated, and explained that he couldn't touch the baby while he was sick. I kept the baby in my bedroom, while my son and husband stayed in the basement den. The cold was over in a couple of days, and neither I nor my baby girl got sick. If you don't think she will understand not to touch the baby, send her to grandmas. Better safe than sorry.

My then 2.5 year old was sick with a cold when his little brother was born. His little brother had a cold his first week here! It wasn't terrible -no one died or anything. The doctor is taking good precautions, but don't stress over it. I would only send the oldest away if she has something contagious that could be really dangerous -like chicken pox, a stomach virus or the real, actual flu. If you have the baby now, tell the 4 year old she can't get in the baby's face, and she can't touch the baby's hands or face until she's well. Your new baby is going to constantly come into contact with the cold virus -maybe even by a nurse at the hospital or you OB GYN! People go about work and their daily lives with colds. What if you get a cold and have it when you deliver? Are you not going to hold your baby?

I say, if she is still feeling sick then let her stay with Gramma for a few days. Let it be about HER, though, not about keeping her away from the baby. Tell her that since you will be recovering from the hard work of bringing her new little brother/sister into the world that you won't have the energy to take care of her properly for a couple of days. And that since she is sick, you want her to have the BEST care you can get for her (via Grandma) since she is feeling badly. Grandma can make it lots of fun and dote on her and spoil her for a few days. Plenty of snuggle time and books, one on one time, etc.
She'll be princess for a couple of days and you will get a little bit of peace of mind and some time to recuperate.
Don't spend your time being terrified. Worry is stress, and you don't need that right now. Stress reduces your immune system's ability to function at full capability. You want it to be working in tip top shape.

Have you been around your daughter and not gotten sick? You probably have some immunities to it. I know this is not really your question, but if you are planning on breastfeeding - some of your immunities will pass to your newborn in your milk and offer her at least some protection. Neither of my babies ever got sick until I stopped breastfeeding them at 9mo and 11mo old.

Ugh!! I was in your shoes last year!! Only I was sick and my 2.5 yr was sick, it was the worst! But you know, wasn't a whole heck of a lot I could do about it!! I was pretty much well when I had my lil man and so was my older son. But the day he came up to the hospital he had a majorly runny nose. We took him to the dr a couple days later and he had strep!! YIKES!! He had held his baby bro, it was already done. But amazingly my baby boy did just fine. I watched his temp like a hawk and was a pretty nervous wreck for a week or so. I did have to keep them apart for like a week which was hard bc of course my 2.5yr old had a very hard time grasping why. I attribute it to breast feeding, that is like liquid gold for newborns. Now when my newborn was a few weeks old he did get stuffy, I just ran the humidifier all the time, kept the nasal syringe with me at all times and he did just great. I think the weather etc just got him a little, who knows, but he is a sweet little chunky one year old now and doing great. Just accept that these things are beyond your control and relax. Stressing won't change anything anyway!! Everything will be fine, regardless, and you are second time mama, so you have way more skills at handling it all now. Just have that baby and do whatever you need to do. You will do great, I was so nervous about it too and it all went fine:D Congrats!!

Yes, send her to her grandma's for just a couple of days - and maybe have grandma help her pick out a special little gift to get the baby like a blankie (just make sure she don't let your 4 yo snuggle with it while she is sick). Then if she still has symptoms, you could get her a dust or hospital mask and tell her that you definitely want her to see the new baby, but because he/she is so new it is easy for him/her to get sick. Have her wash her hands and put on the mask and see the lovely new bundle of joy!

Hopefully your 4 yo will have enough time to get better before the baby comes, but if not just make sure she doesn't feel she is being punished or left out.

I tried so hard, cleaning using antibacterial wipes, even limiting us going to public places when I was due for my second son (it was right at the height of h1n1). I did everything possible, and wouldn't you know it my son got sick the day I brought my 2nd son home. I was devastated.

I remember calling my MOm and crying that I did everything I could etc etc. She started laughing and said "its only a cold honey"...Then of course I went on "how do we know etc etc etc". Yikes, postpartum hormones at their best!

I didn't feel comfortable just sending my 1st son away to G&G's alone (he was only 21 months old). I didn't want him to feel like I was shipping him out and bringing in the new one. So instead of my husband staying home and helping me with the baby, I made him take my 1st son to his parent's house until he stopped sneezing and profusely coughing (majority of how things spread in our house)!

It ended up working out great. I was slightly nervous staying home by myself with the baby, but had neighbors if I needed anything. And I got some much needed one on one time with him, and some zzz's I wouldn't have gotten with the 1st home!

I'm sure everything will work out, but if not sure hope you find something that works for your family! Congratulations on your soon to be new addition!

The dr. is right, they will need to be kept apart. As mean as it sounds, a young babies health trumps a toddler's hurt feelings. She'll have many days to come to love on the baby, just not while she's sick. Remember that you'll be in the hospital for at least 2 days, so maybe having her go to Grandma's house then until she is better will be the better situation. Grandma can love on her and give her one-on-one attention and be 'babied' while you are recovering with baby.

If she is still sick when you delivery she should NOT visit you in the hospital.

Also remember to Lysol your WHOLE house as baby can pick up RSV from you touching surfaces that she has coughed/sneezed on.

Good luck and congrats on the new addition.
M.

My daughter was sick when my son was born (she was 17 mos when he was born). I ended up having an emergency/unexpected c-section so that kept me in the hospital longer and her away from him longer. Once we got home, I had my mother in law stay with us to help lifting so she helped by playing with her and keeping her away from my son. She was too little to know how to cough properly and wash her hands with every cough and to throw used tissues away -- 4 years old is old enough to know all of that stuff. I would say to send her to grandmas if you can once you go to the hospital and for a day or so after you get home until she is feeling a bit better unless you have help during the day to keep them apart. Let her know that it is important to keep the baby from getting sick...

Good luck!