4Yr Old Needs to Wipe Own Butt!!

I think you would be hard pushed to find any 4 yr old that can wipe themselves and do it properly , and it's a pretty tall order that is being asked , given the fact that the average child in this country potty train between 3 & 4 yrs old. She is only going to Pre k after all (I assume half day) so really what are the chances that she will need to to #2 while there? I say back off , don't push and she will learn how to do it when she is capable. No harm in showing how to and letting her have a go , but realisticly she won't be a pro at it until she is maybe 6.

Let her use a wet wipe to wipe first and then bat clean up! LOL
They really don't do a very thorough job til a little later.

I got so upset about my son's refusal to wipe that I asked HIM what he would tell HIS kid if he wouldn't wipe himself. He replied "I'd tell him that I wouldn't wipe his butt unless he was gonna wipe mine!" Violå! Great idea!

I kinda "tricked" my son...I told him we were going to take turns wiping his butt. I will go first and so I cleaned his bum. The next time I reminded him that it was his turn. Then every time he asked...it was his turn. Only a couple of times did he say no I did it last. Finally, he just did it...it was faster than waiting for me to come in there...I took my sweet time getting to the bathroom...and he was ready to go play.

You could just let her sit there until she does it and then praise her, praise her, praise her. She might sit and cry and scream...but eventually she will do it if you ignore her.

I always let my son do it first and then I give it a swipe after he's done. He is mostly doing it by himself now. Haven't had a rash in quite some time.

I think the PreK environment will help. My sanity has been saved by the "Monkey see Monkey do." I suspect it is more a power struggle between you two right now. She won't fight her school caretakers like she does you. I think it will all work itself out with the environment change.

In the meantime, just be sure to wash her real good at bathtime and apply diaper rash cream if needed.

Focus on the getting rid of the power struggle, and it will all work itself out.

We still wipe our 5 year old daughter too (#2, she wipes by herself with no problem when she pees). I've tried to get her to do it but she prefers help. She wants to be clean but says she can't do it. HOWEVER, when a few situations have arose where I wasn't right there, she HAS done it herself. So I don't feel that this is an issue to push. When she has to , she'll do it!

My kids learned how to wipe themselves....it can be done. Sometimes they're not the best at it, but they're learning.

I'd say, let her throw her tantrum. Close the door and walk away. She's a big girl and she has to act like a big girl. A few times of not wiping and stinking to high heaven and possible rash, she'll fall in line.

(And lest you think I'm harsh, poop makes me puke. So either my kids would have an unwiped butt and puke all over them, or they'd have to learn how to do it on their own and stay clean. Poop in a toilet is way different than poop in a diaper, to me)

So, it IS possible to make them learn just as soon as they start potty training. GL!!

Sorry, I'm not much help since I too am still wiping my 4 year old daughter. At home or when we are in a public bathrrom we even wipe her when she goes #1. We have tried helping her to do it herself but when she get's home from pre-school she smells like she is not wiping very well while there(strong pee smell). She does not go #2 at school and I wonder if it's because she will have to wipe herself. I've asked her and she says she does not have to go #2 at school. Anyway, I'll look forward to the suggestions you get so we can try them also. Good Luck :)

I would just keep reminding her that when she gets to school she will have to do it by herself like all the other boys and girls do. Of course, I would do it as I was wiping her! My son will be in pre-K this year as well. I found out that he can and does wipe him self at his mother's day out but likes me to do it @ home. Especially if it's a messy one.

I wouldn't stress about it. Send her - she'll figure it out soon enough. She'll want to fit in and if she doesn't, her teacher will either have to just leave her the way she is or call you to take her home. She'll be having so much fun she won't want to go! You've done your part. Trust her - it's a control issue now. She'll do it when you're not around.

My youngest son is 4 yrs. & 7.5 mo. old & he just started wiping his own butt last month. My husband pushed him to do it & he is motivated enough to want to do it himself.
I would just walk away durring her fits & remind her that she is a big girl & needs try to wipe herself. If she can wipe herslef after urinating she can wipe her butt to.

God bless!

They will encourage her at school and will "help" a little... the teachers will encourage her without being hard on her. I know as parents we always have one who is harder than the other... in your case your husband "refusing" is being harder on her and you continuing to clean her is "babying" her for lack of better terms. She will get there not to worry! You want her to feel and smell clean and we all do that as moms. Don't make a big deal of it - pick your battles and take a deep breath and relax. In a few weeks she will be a big girl and positive peer pressure (lots of other boys and girls doing it as well) will encourage her as well.

Maybe you should keep her home this year to work on that in a loving way, rather than send her to preschool. That is what i would do.

you are going to have to let her learn the hard way. will her school even accept her if she won't wipe herself? that is part of potty training. she is getting to big not to be able to clean her self properly. and like L.J. remind her what could happen if she doesn't clean herself correctly. not going to lie my four year can wipe himself just as well as i would and knows to wash his hands afterwards and get up and wash up in the morning. your children will do what you train them do to. so get on her case, she is doing nothing but getting older everyday! goodluck.

I'm currently trying to work on this one too. My daughter is 4 1/2 yrs old. She still needs help with her #2 wipes as well. I recently told her that me and her daddy are going to have a talk and we'll set a goal for her for wiping all by herself. Maybe a sticker chart for when she wipes all by herself.Then she could see her progress.

Try a different reward maybe? We used candy.

THis ? was posted about 2 wks ago, If you search on this site you will find others w/ answers. Good luck

My 4 YO still requires some babying and I think that is what your 4 YO is demanding. She likes to be fed. No one else will feed her, so she eats just fine for everyone else.

When it comes to wiping, if I see the toilet has not tissue, I send her back to wipe up and flush. I tell her repeatedly she will have an ou'ey on her bottom that she will regret! I refuse to wipe her bottom at four.

Here are some ideas by a child therapist with a link to her entire article:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/09/22/...
Be sure not to make potty training an issue of your child being told they are a “good” or “bad girl.” These words can cause a regression in using the potty from feeling like they disappointed mom or dad, which causes a loss of self-esteem. Use phrases such as, “You did it!” or “Way to go!” These don’t pass judgment on their character. Try using techniques at home that increase their awareness of when they go to the bathroom, like having on cotton training pants or just going bare bottom in uncarpeted areas of your house.