4Th Pregnancy and How to Deal with Rude People

A comeback for these people?! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW RUDE THEY ARE TO YOU!

If they were behind me, I would casually itch my back with my middle finger. No matter what - do the middle finger itch. It makes you feel better and it leaves them in a stuper.

I just can't believe how RUDE some people can be. What gives them the right?!

By the way, K., Congratulations on baby #4! :)

I think moms get hosed either way. Did you read all the nasty comments about the mom who is thinking of only having one child? You get insulted if you have 1, you get insulted if you have 4.

Too many people think it's perfectly OK to subject people to THEIR beliefs. If you want to have 4 kids, great. If you want to have 1 kid, that's great too. Whatever works best for you...

So congrats!

"My Husband and I are such kind loving people and there are so many rude people in the world we wanted to put some kind people back in it."

Well, I was going to ask as politely as possible if your kids are a bit out spoken or unruly. But you beat me to that.

#1. Some people are just good parents.
#2. just come out and say "Why do you have to be so rude?
#3. Children, this is what I meant about not being rude.
#4. Kids, I'm sorry there are people like this in the world. but sometimes we have to come across this, rise above and be the better people. (?)
#5. I love my kids I'm sorry if you don't.
#6. I still have more love to give.
#7. Sometimes a silent approving stare is all it takes. Or shake your head and walk away with that I feel sorry for you look. (it means a little more when you don't say anything)
#8. Turn to your kids, smile as big as you can and say loudly I LOVE YOU. and give a group hug and or kiss them. or You guys brighten my day, then smile and walk away.
#9. say the nicest things to your kids in front of them and walk away.

Really anything can be said if you act like the most polite person in the world. I use to teach my son all sorts of lessons about "other" people weather the other person heard me or not. The truth is the truth and most people will feel bad about saying every little "opinion" that floats into their head.

I know a lot of families that have more than 5 kids and they are great parents. Hang in there and remember your not alone.

I'm getting sleepy, and I hope you get a lot of other ideas and advice. Good night, God bless, and give it to them.

I'll tell you what I tell my own daughters - don't take people for bad! Sometimes we don't think before we speak and what ends up coming out of our mouths doesn't sound as good as it did in our heads! Try to take what people say as just that, something to say! She wanted to converse with you and didn't know how to start - just smile at these people and say something smart (don't be rude, it will make YOU look bad) Say something clever, I don't know like - "Ha - I left the twins at home!" or "Yeah, at least I put shoes on before I left the house" (implying the old barefoot and pregnant line, especially if the person is much older) Or, "We're planning on having a family football team - only 9 more to go". If you can't settle on a good line or are caught off guard, use my favorite thing - no words just smile brightly! By the way, just by having children you're a working mom - God Bless you if you're also employed outside of the home!

Hello K. and Congratulations!

I think they're expressing their own fears of what would they do if they were in the same situation. My personal comment from me to you is: You are BRAVE! My husband and I at first talked about having 4 kids and now after 2 we think we just wouldn't have enough energy to keep up with 4 energetic angels. I believe children are a blessing and God bless you! hang in there. just say "We are always happy to receive God's blessings." or you can say "Sorry, I don't kiss and tell" ... LOL!!!! just ignore the comment and say a prayer for them. Have a blessed day! ~C.~

I am pregnant w/ #5 and recently saw a tshirt from cafepress I think that shows a mom, dad and lots of babies, with the caption
"World Domination...one child at a time" hee hee..... It just kills me how it offends people if you never want kids, like my sister, and then if they perceive that you have to many kids.

SO the last time some idiot said to me "Don't you know what causes that?" I said "Yes, my husband, but have you SEEN him, I just cant stop myself" that pretty much shut them up!!

Just enjoy your pregnant self and know that itprobably comes their own sense of inadequacy at not being able to handle a large family.

K.
DONA Certified Birth Doula
Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator
Homebirthing mamma to 4 with one on the way!

Hi K..
Congratulations on baby#4!!!! I have to agree with the other moms who said that they think people are just trying to be funny. I have three boys (5, 3 and 1) and I would get comments like that too. My favorite was "You know what's causing that don't you?" to which I would reply "Sure do!" (with a wink and a smile). Try not to be upset because I would say 9 times out of 10 the person is just trying to make conversation. Yes, our hands are full but so are our hearts! Have a great day and enjoy your fourth pregnancy!!!!

When I told my grandmother we were expecting our 6th (yes, 6th), she tried to tease me. "Haven't you figured out what caused that, yet?"
I told her, "Yes. We know exactly what caused it. We are experts by now."
She laughed. The point being that a little humor goes a long way. And really, most people don't intend to be rude.

Hi K.,

Some people are just ignorant and really don't know what to say. Seems like since they don't know what to say or have nothing positive to say, they shouldn't anything.

FYI - God honors when married couples produce fruit (children). In fact, in the bible it says, To be fruitful and to multiply (Genesis Ch. 1 v. 22). So you are following God's instructions. You should not feel uncomfortable in any way. You should be proud and know that God is well pleased with you and your husband's decision. Maybe you should ask them (the rude people) if they are following God's instructions? For example, when they make negative comments and make you and others feel unworthy or ashamed, ask them if they're behaving in a Godly manner, because it also states in the bible, to "Be kind and compassionate to one another. (Ephesians Ch. 4. v. 32)

Congratulations and Good luck!!

I would of said "absolutely I learned that when your great at parenting and love children as much as my husband and I do, you should defiantly have a big family!" Maybe throw in, "my husbands huge paycheck helps out alot"! smile and laugh while you say it. No use being as ignornat as they are but why not pat yourself on the back for being such great parents. I always say that loving parents should have more kids. I wish I could of had the chance to have such a big family too. Dont let them get to you, obviosuly there miserable and jealous of such greatness.

I have 3 very active boys all close in age 5,3.5 and 2o months and I get comments all the time like "you've got your hands full" I think people are honestly trying to be funny most of the time so I just say, yes they are full but I'd rather them be full than empty.. or but its worth it! something like that...

A. J

I too have four children, plus a step-son. My last two were born in my 40's and people were SO RUDE about it. I just started asking "what do you mean by that?" or "are you trying to be rude or did it just sound that way?" and it really worked! Every single person started back-tracking big-time!!! I don't really think people intend to be rude we just live in a say-before-you-think society. God blesss you and your growing family!! I wish I would have had more when I was younger. :)

I got this a lot

Here are some of the things I used - of course, a disbelieving silent stare is also effective.

1. We're doing our part to counteract the forces of ignorant people by populating the world with more like us.

2. Getting pregnant is so much fun - just can't give it up.

3. We've been blessed by God - please don't be jealous.

4. I'm sorry, how is that any of your business?

5. My children are my greatest joy. I'm sorry you don't feel the same about yours.

S.

K.,
God bless you, Children are our most preious gifts from above. I have three they range from 15 yrs old to 14 yrs old from my first marraige and now I am working on a 8 month old and planning on having another so my second husband can experince the joy I have had with my first two. It just makes me mad that people think of children as bagage or in the way. I love children I would have a dozen IF we could afford it. I love all teh responace you gotten from other people I may have to borrow a few for when I have my next one. Good luck on your bundle of joy you are expecting.
T.

Man I feel sorry for those rude peoplle.Children are a blessing beyond any other blessing.They bring so much happiness.I had a reall bad first pregnancy so we will probly not do it again and if we do it will only be once more but if I could I would probably have 4 or 5 kids.I love my son so much.A big family is great.Just smile and nod and know that those people will never have as much happiness as you so in you mind think screw you but dont let it show on your face!good luck and congrats!!!

Why yes I did and I decided who would want only 3 blessings when they could have 4 or maybe even 5? Congratulations!!!!!
That should shut them up.

Hi K.,
First Congratulations a child no matter the number is a blessing.

I would suggest that you be direct. For example: the lady at Wal Mart she says,"Didn't you learn your lesson from the first three?".
And you say, "Wow, that was rude. Didn't your mother teach you not say anything at all if it isn't going to be nice?"

Most people will be taken back.
Here are some hugs!!!

Been there, done that, have the t-shirt to prove it! We have 4 kids, and love it! We went through the same thing! Even when I was pg with my 3rd. I think a lot of time people are jealous. I even had people say rude things at church! It upset me too. I asked my pastor what to say, and as the previous responder said, "Blessed is the man who's quiver is full." In other words, we are blessed by GOD. And we truely are. People still say things, like "Boy, you sure have your hands full." I respond, with "Yes, we do, and it is a good hands full. Or yes, we are truely blessed." Hang in there, and know that you are blessed. Enjoy every moment, and try to just ignore the rude and jealous ones out there. I love having 4, and have even considered having a 5th at times. Good luck!

Being a 29 yr. mother of 5, I know where you're coming from. I too get the weird looks and comments when my husband and I go out with our children, but like we say...no one but us are providing for them, so why worry what people say...I'm happy to have the children that I have. So just let people say what they want

To that woman I would have said "Yes, I did, and my kids are so perfect I wanted to bless the world with more." ;)
Honestly, other than something like that, all I can say is grin and bare it. We're on #3, so I'm not far behind you, and people (even my family members) say some rude things sometimes.
Good luck!!

Im sorry you are going though this.I came from a big family 8 plus me ,and the same for my husband.But our children are a blessing from God. And you don't have to expline yourself to any one. As long as you are happy the he** with them. Good luck and CONGRATES on your new member to your family.

When they make joking or rude comments like, "do you know what causes that?" Smile and say, yes; "they are as the arrows in the hands of a mighty man. And blessed is the man that has his quiver full of them". Psalm 127:3-5

Congrats to you an your husband. I know how people are @ Wally world because I work probably at the one you were @ if it was G.P. I have said that many times to woman when they can't handle the ones they have.Because they have never been taught manners.But when a very proud Mom as you seem to be .The come back from one of the other woman was but you haven't seen my husband .I can't keep my body away from his an look what beautiful children we make. I bet you wish your children if she has any were as well behaved as ours.I came from a family of six a transin from Missioui an my husband an I have three.An seven grandkids an love them more than life it self. But honestly smileing at her an thanking her for the suggestion an say but Mam it wasn"t nessary as you can see we"ve done very well .But maybe she should try it sometimes it might relieve her anxiety level.But I know how customers are in the rude department but for every rude comment you get you will get alot more of congrats. Wait untill you hear someone ask you how many do have an then they say do they have different fathers.Know after fouty four years I don't think so!Very happly married an three grown kids an my youngest is going to Iraq in two weeks. So keep your head high an keep smiling.

Hi K.,
I'm also a K....we had our children fairly close together...we had four, but lost our first little guy at just 2 days old, however, when someone saw me pregnant with our third and had a 4 year old and not quite 2 year old I did receive some "interesting" remarks, too...such as "haven't you learned what causes that..." etc. I was pretty young, too, when I was pregnant with each (21,23,25,27). By the time I had reach 27 and my 4th pregnancy, I would just smile and say yes, and we are so glad that it has resulted in this blessing! In your case, the "Didn't you learn your lesson from the first three" I would have responded, yes and that is why we are having our fourth...our lesson is that we are blessed by each and every one of them. I would never be rude or lower myself to their level by trying a scathing remark back. You are happy about the pregnancy, have a lovely family and should always smile when someone chooses to try to insult your life decisions. This is someone who is obviously not happy in their own life and have to make it so that others feel sensitive about their situation. You are the one who can leave the lasting impression on this person who chooses to be rude and they may think twice the next time...just be kind and thank them for inquiring about your pregnancy and reiterate how happy you and your husband and three other children are to be expecting a new addition. God bless you! Enjoy your children because the time goes way too fast!

K. K
Mother of Braz 19 (3rd year of college), Brooks 17, Emily 15
they will all turn the next age this fall!

I probably would have said nothing and then thought of this comeback an hour later (always the way that works)
"Why, yes I did learn my lesson. My kids are so perfect, that's why we're having a fourth."

Know exactly how you feel. We have six children and I've heard them all from everyone from family to complete strangers. I usually just laugh it off and walk away, because really, its none of their business. My favorites though were all the people who commented on our twins, "did you concieve them naturally?", uh, after four kids do you think I'm infertile?, "are they idenitcal?" well, ones a girl and ones a boy, figure that out on your own, oh and the greatest one was that one belonged to my 13 year old daughter and the other belonged to me, all I could do was laugh at that woman, just because she's holding her sister does not mean that she is her baby. Anyway, people are going to be strange, intrusive and ignorant, just ignore them, smile and go on about your day, let them get over it.

I think the comment is supposed to be funny, not rude. I'm sure she is admiring you for being such a great mommy. Unless she said it in a rude tone of voice usually the comments are supposed to be light hearted. I would just smile and say "Nope, guess not", or "Yeah, that's why we're having 8 more, I love big families." I have a friend with 7 and loves it. Personally, I have three grown kids and three grandkids with another on the way. I love grandbabies. You can love on them and spoil them all you want. LOL Blessings on you and your lovely family.
K.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have my four kids and wouldn't change it for the world. I also have dealt with sooooooooooo many rude people. I always just grinned and took it. Now though, people always comment on how beautiful my kids are and how I'm so lucky to have a big family. I always just reasoned with myself, if we are feeding the kids and paying our own bills then it really isn't anyone else's business. Nothing gives others the right to be rude, but deep down you know how very blessed you are. Remember that. Sure, you can always say something rude back, but at the end of the day who would come out on top - right? My husband and I chose to have 4 kids, we feed, clothe, love, and support them. That is all that matters. God has blessed us beyond measure. It's funny though - when people talk out of their heads, they probably never give it a second thought and we carry it with us for the rest of the day. The best thing to do is write it off as coming from a really stupid person and go on, no big deal. Good luck to you!
J.
http://J..yoursmh.com
Independent Consultant

Girl...Just ignore them. My cousin has 6 kids and got pregnant with the last two after she had her tubes tied! These people just must not know what a blessing children really are!

My tip is to respond to every comment as a compliment. It confuses rude people terribly, and if they really intended to be nicer than it came out, it makes that obvious.

Something like "Of course, I've learned lots of lessons! I just love my kids and we're so blessed to be having another one!" would just take the wind out of that busybody's sails ;-)

You have gotten a lot of fabulous and positive responses and I think that is wonderful! We have 4 children of our own and our neice will be living with us for a while, we've heard all kinds of strange things come out of people's mouths over the years! For a time, it really irked me, I'd get upset or defensive, sometimes I'd say something funny and whitty, and there have been my not so proud moments when I've said something nasty (like when I hear, "Better you than me" or "I'm sorry" or some other stupid statement like that)

But, you get used to it after a while. Every once in a while some random stranger will say something rude that I haven't heard before, and I've learned to bite my tongue.

That being said, more often that not these days, I hear "how blessed you are" or "what a lovely family" or "you must be an amazing woman to have all those kids". More often than not I get positive comments, and honestly that makes up for all the nasty ones.

The best thing you can do, is to not let those negative people get under your skin and stay convicted on your path. We also planned our 4th child :) I don't hear the rude comments as often these days, but I've pretty much narrowed my responses down to one, "there is always room in our hearts and our home for another child"

God Bless and Congrats!

Hi K., and congratulations on your baby! We have a 9-week old baby (our 3rd child) and I received a lot of "comments" from friends, family, and strangers a like!! I was a bit surprised, since I really don't think 3 children is all that "many".

Anyway! The best response I've found if someone makes the famous "Wow, you've got your hands full" remark, is to smile and say, "Better full than empty!" :o)

Children truly are a wonderful gift from God... good for you for going against the grain of our culture and embracing a "large" family. :o)

Blessings,

K.
http://www.homemakerscottage.com
http://www.workathomeunited.com/homemaker

Something along the lines of, "Oh my goodness! Your so right! Which one should I send back??" works really well. Points out how stupid they're being without actually coming right out and saying, "Goodness, your rudeness knows no bounds!"

I know what you mean about ppl being rude. My two children are nearly 15 yrs apart and ppl will stare at me with their mouths open when I tell them this. they will say""you're crazy to start all over!!" and such. But my advice is just to smile brightly and say"My children are a gift from God and I will take whatever I get with a happy heart!" Congrats to you on the new baby.
J. G

"Well, someone has to reproduce well, and it might as well be me!"

Being the mom to eight fantastic children ranging currently in age from 21 down to 10, I completely understand what you're going through.

It's really ignorance speaking when people make comments like that. Seriously, they do not think that we don't know what causes it. My step-dad once made that comment. I think he was just trying to be funny. I responded with, "Yes, I know what causes it and it's so much fun, we just keep doing it."

My father-in-law offered to pay for a vasectomy after our 6th child was born.

I once had a woman write me an e-mail in response to an article I wrote telling me that I was the most selfish woman there was simply because I had 8 children. She used up a lot of negative energy writing to me. It actually made me cry. She said things like people like me should not be allowed to breed. She said that I was giving birth to resource sucking individuals. A lot of her words were meant merely to hurt and inflict pain on me, which they did, until I realized that she had an unhealthy view of the life of a child.

I think that most people who feel the need to ridicule or make rude remarks in stores are probably hurting about something. Perhaps they had a difficult childhood, or they felt abandoned.

I really think the best course of action is never to say a quick comeback back. That just never seems to promote goodness.

One thing I would mention though is that when you get in the car, talk with your kids about it. It's a great opportunity to share with them why you love having children and what a blessing they are to you. It's also a good opportunity to talk to them about being rude to people.

I used to have a t-shirt that said, "Yes, they are all ours." Yes, we know what causes it." "Yes, they are a blessing."

I'm pregnant with my fourth, and this one was planned also. We like to make jokes with our family and friends about how many kids we have because it can be funny, but as far as strangers go, it's none of their business how many kids you have. I always want to come back with maybe you're parents should have considered not having kids when you came along, but I know that's way too ugly. Some strangers have been really cool, but if someone says something snarky to you, then I would just say something nice like, all of my kids are a blessing, or we love having a big family. It doesn't matter what others think because it's your family. I think there is so much love in a big family. Good luck, and God Bless!

Just enthusiastically say "YEA! We did and it was soo much fun we had to do it again!" Just stay positive... it's your decision not any one else's.

AND, if you smile and be happy, it'll just annoy them.

Congratulations! I love big families! My husband is the oldest of 4 and my favorite family at church has 4 and are wanting one more. This may be the exception, but there is nothing wrong with it. Maybe the lady in the grocery store was jealous that her kid(s) never behaved as well as yours were! I wouldn't worry about it in the least. If people have nothing better to do with their time than complain about your family, they aren't even worth the energy for a well-thought-out comeback :)

Good luck and have fun!

Congrats on #4. I think that people who have had only one or none are the ones that come up with the remarks the most. I am amazed at how mothers of more than 2 command respect from their children and that the children understand who is in charge. I would have had a few more but moving around in the military and finding a place to rent was a cause of only two. When you seek an apartment with more than 2 kids landlords didn't want to rent for the fear of the unit being destroyed and such. But than again that was 20 years ago before the big boon of more than 2 kids and a dog in the family. Oh have had 2 dogs and a now a cat. My children are grown and so I am waiting for the grandkids to start coming. Hang in there and enjoy. God bless you and have a safe delivery. The other S.

I agree with the posters before me. I just wanted to say congratulations. I don't know why people react like they do.

I have had a little experience with unwanted comments. I think keeping your humor is important as well. Just remember you don't want to stoop to their level. I have, on occasion, said "Have you heard about manners?" Most of the time it takes them off guard and gets my point across without being too ugly.

L.

Wow! I have four boys and while I get the occasional staring (especially when I'm by myself or I didn't put my ring on), I've never gotten such a rude comment.

My suggestion would be just to ignore people. They are going to be rude no matter what you do or say.

Although, I would have loved to snap back at the lady at Walmart. That was outrageous. LOL!

People say the most stupid things when you are pregnant. Most people don't even realize it and probably aren't trying to be rude. Just tell them what you learned was that you would rather be with your kids than doing anything else in the world!

Congratulations!

I know how you feel! I have 3 children and already I get, "Boy you've got your hands full!" I wonder if they realize that my children have ears and hear their words...it upsets me, too! Here's the kicker, my mother-in-law says, "This day and age, if you have 3 healthy children, you're lucky, you might as well stop there!" Does she not realize who she's talking to? (I come from a family of 8 children!) One of my nephews has Autism--I know it's a dig on him that if my husband and I were to continue having children, our possiblity of have a child with Autism would be greater, so we'd better quit while we're ahead! Ugh!! Like we would love that child any less!

That being said, you're not alone. I agree with the other Moms, say something positive back to them (because your children are listening!) or just smile or ignore them. I usually ignore them because I get so upset and don't want my children to hear what I'd really like to say to them!

Good luck!

Just smile sweetly and say, "Why yes, that's why we want more." After all, you planned this one...meaning you DID want more. It's not a lie. Just gets back in their faces with politeness.

Congrats to you! I have 2 and want to scream sometimes. I say if you have the patience and you love kids and you can support them then why not?
A comeback:
That's when you hold your hand to your ear and say,
"I'M SORRY, PREGNANCY HAS MADE ME DEAF...DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING RUDE?"
or...
"MY HUSBAND MADE ME MAD SO I POKED HOLES IN ALL THE CONDOMS."
or...
"I'M TRYING TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE I CAN MESS UP IN MY LIFETIME."

At any rate, Enjoy the looks on their faces. :)

Congratulations to you.

People seem to have some ignorant question about everything. My family was complete and we were delighted with 1 great, beautiful child. I get the questions about is this your only one? how lonely? is she a brat? etc. Some of the things are down right insulting (note the only child stream running on here now). Bottom line....we know we did what was right for our family. We have no regrets and we are blessed with a very fulfilled life.

Either way you go, people are going to be rude. If a large family makes yours complete, then bless you for being a good parent.

tf

K.,

I would say just ignore them. I have 4 kids as well. 17, 13, 8 and 5. The one I hear the most is "have you figured out what causes that?" My typical reply is yup I sure have and I'm pretty good at it! Enjoy your 4! They keep you busy but what joyful noise!
B.

A very proud Mom of 4!

You might say something like this "Yes I learned how wonderful kids are and God is blessing me with another one"

I just wanted to say congratulations to you on your new addition. I come from a huge family and i wouldn't change it for the world. I will never say to someone again that they must have their hands full cause i never knew it might be hurtfull. ( i certainly never meant it to be). I know there a alot of rude people out there who think that they just got to share their opinions, but really i would just smile really big and say each one of my babies are fabulous! Good luck!

First off, Congrats on #4. My family and I are recent transplants from California and out there large families are not the norm. Mainly I think because the cost of living is so high. One of the first things we noticed when we moved here were more larger families and I think it's great. I'm an only child on my mother's side and yes it did have it's advantages but also very lonely at times. We currently have one beautiful daugther and when still living in California were adament she would be our only. Now that we've moved here, things change and we're currently expecting our 2nd. This will probably be our last mainly because my hubby and I started late in life and we're not exactly young anymore. Like so many others said don't let ignorant remarks hurt you. I think most people are just trying to make conversation and don't realize how their comments actually sound once they've said it out loud.

That is RUDE and uncalled for! I don't know why people would care how many children you have? I feel sorry for that lady being so bitter. She is probably missing a lot of joy in her life. I would just say something to the affect that you are excited about it. "Yes I learned from the first three how great of a blessing children are and we are so excited our prayers were answered to have another!" (I am Christian so that is what I would say). People may not be intending to be rude sometimes but may just be seeking to understand or just want to be nosey. I think it is great having big families! That being said I am prego with #2 and a little nervous as to how I will be able to handle more than one.

I have nine children, and soon to be 10 when we adopt our foster son later this year. I get those comments, too. I've learned to take it with humor, for my own sake, and especially for my children, who hear the comments. And really, it is humorous, if you learn to look at it that way, and you can feel sorry for people who haven't learned the joy of their own children.
I would have told the lady, "YES! I DID learn my lesson! The Bible tells us that children are a gift, a reward from the Lord, and the man with a quiverfull is a happy man! I learned that those words are actually true!"
My favorite comeback is to the line "I'm glad it's you and not me!" I always say, "I'm glad it's me and not you, too!" and then watch their face, as they try to figure out if they have been insulted or not. To "I'd lose my mind if I had that many" I say, "Oh, I lost my mind a long time ago, and life has been a lot more fun ever since!"
Keep it positive. You're children will see that you enjoy them, and they will learn that a 'soft answer turns away wrath' just like the Bible says, and that they are a joy to you!!

I think you got some great replies. Ones that aren't rude but give the commenter a double take are great. Years ago my (now ex) and I went to IHOP and a couple came in with quadruplets. To my horror my ex said "I'm sorry" to the dad...he witout hesitation said "I'm not". I'm sure they got comments like that all the time.
My husband and I are going to have to see a specialist next year in hopes of having baby #3. I have 2 and had twins in between them as a surrogate, long story short c-sections resulted in uterine scarring. We not only get rude comments about wanting to have a third but for going to great lengths to have another.
Congrats on the upcoming addition!!!

Our Pastor has 8; our Associate Pastor has 13, would you like me to ask their wives what they would say? I watch those children interact on Sundays and they are WONDERFUL - Oh yes, they are also home-schooled :) Maybe your response to the lady should have been "Yes I did!"

Girl please. We have so many kids they all won't fit on one insurance card. :)

Just tell them it's so much fun making them you just can't stop.

Any plans for number 5?

Congrats!!!!!

We are on our 4th too. When people ask us "Dont you know what causes that?", I say, "Yes, and we really like to do it!". It kinda stuns people for a minute and its fun!

I commend you for wanting and having more children. It is people like you that we want to popluate the world. Let the bitter ones have fewer children! :-) That is so wonderful that you are on number four. I think I want at least that many too. I am sure that there are a load of one liners that we can come up with to say to rude folks:

"I suppose it just takes being mentally stable to have children."

"To each his own, and I love mine."

"With such a sour attitude it is good that you don't have more children."

"I love my children. I make them a priority so, even though it is a lot of work, it is so much fun and more rewarding than anything else I can imagine."

"Well, I did learn my lesson from the first three. I learned that children are amazing and bring me so much joy. They teach me so much and are so much fun. Why wouldn't I want more?"

Good luck! Most of all, disregard what people say. You know what you want and their opinions do not matter a whit!

Love from a Mom who loves children,
A.

I would say something light and funny, like: "Yeah, we're trying to build our own soccer team," or something like that. Then you have made an opening where you can share something more profound, like what a great blessing your children have been and how awesome it is to have a big family.

I don't believe in responding back with something rude or getting mad. Most people just say things without thinking.

I have a biological child and an adopted child from China and I sometimes have people make comments to me about them. Even if they seem rude, I try to use it as an opening to talk about how God has blessed me and how awesome adoption is.

You are truly blessed! The Bible says "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." (Proverbs: 127:3-5)

Congratulations!

M.

You can say "I have four more at home!"

Big families are more common than you think. Im amazed at how many people that I know personally are on kid number 4, 5, or even 6. We are expecting our 4th at the beginning of September, and when people say rude things to me like that I tell them that we decided that 4 was such a nice round number. I will also tell them that yes we did learn our lesson from the first 3 times, and that is why we decided that 1 more would complete our family.

Congratulations and best of luck to you.

K.,
Congrats on # 4. We have 4 too, but it took us 7 pregnancies to get here. I too heard similar comments. Once I would share that we lost 3 to miscarriage they tend to back off & realise that life is precious. My oldest also has Muscular Dystrophy & each time we took a chance of having another child with MD, but God is good and only gives you what you can handle. Our kids are 14, 12, 4 & 8 months. Our house is busy but it is a Good busy. Best thing I have done for myself is join a Moms group. I am part of the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) at First Baptist in Mckinney. Email me if you want more info.
Good luck to you!

K. !

Every children is a gift !! Congratulation on your 4th one!

People who doesn't give you a nice respond are silly, maybe jealous. Don't listen! Be strong and proud!

If I where younger I had maybe more then 2 children.
Even when it is loud and busy around, it is wonderful how to know, who is making this sounds.

It is your family and nobody else has the right to make you feelings hurt.
God bless you!, E.

I'm so happy for you! I only have two but I come from a family of 5. I sometimes wish that I was the type of mother that could deal with several with ease like some of the other mothers at our old church who had 7 or more. I have days when I get flustered with two and I wish I knew the secret to having the right balance of discipline and love to manage a large blessing!

Those children must know that you love them to pieces and that's the most important part of all.

And I agree with the post below. . . saying "yes I learned that the love in our home grows more and more with each one!!"

God Bless. . .

Chris