4 Year Old (Almost 5 Year Old) Still Having Trouble Going #2 on Potty

Get him to the doctor and DO NOT PUNISH him!! Or make him feel bad by being in diapers/pull-up. My son did the exact same thing and it sounds like your son may have the same thing. I forget the medical term (encoprisis?) Whatever... it's basically constant constipation. It's pretty common in 4-6 year old boys but most parents are clueless. Basically, a child gets constipated and can't get the stool out. A hard mass forms and loose stools steeps out around it and can not be controlled by the child. Over time, the muscles down there get stretch and the child loses feeling and honestly can't tell when he has to go. So it's fine for a few weeks and then *bam* accidents for a few days and then back to 'normal' but the cycle just gets worse and worse. The accidents don't look like constipation because they are loose.

The solution is quite easy but long-term... through diet or medicine make the child have 2-3 loose stools a day to keep "cleaned out". After 6-8 months the muscless will have returned to normal and feeling comes back and the child can control it. We tried diet with our 4 year old for a few months and it didn't work. He's now 5.5 and has been taking a dose of Miralax everyday for the past 4 months. He's been accident free for about 3 months now -- the longest he's gone. We'll continue until he's accident-free for 6 months then slowly wean off the Miralax following the doc's instructions. It's a powder OTC medicine you add into your child's drink (water, milk, juice, whatever) once or twice a day. It can take a few weeks to get the dose for your child right.

Other things you can do is restrict dairy and things like bananas that bind you up. Some kids are more sensitive to dairy, like my son... just 2 servings a day is too much for him. And feed lots of fiber (FiberOne bars taste great!) and things like raisins. Good luck!

You may want to take him to the doctor. My cousin had the same problem with going #2 and ended up with some kind of condition. Didn't seem major, but they can help.

You might want to see if he's having any abdominal pain shortly before the accidents. I have the spastic version of IBS and without medication there are days when I have almost no warning before I have to go other than feeling my intestines painfully spazzing a few minutes (somedays I'm lucky if I get that much time) so he really may not have to go and then all the sudden not be able to make it.

Some foods (especially higher in fiber) may help but with me unless I'm on my anti-spaz meds they actually make it worse. So keep an eye on what he eats and ask him if his stomach is hurting right before he goes. I think that IBS is unusual in a 5 year old, but its not unheard of. I remember having this issue since I was at least in my early early teens if not before.

I hope it turns out to not be something medical and easily remidied!!!

HI B.,
My nephew lived with us and had this problem. The doctor said it is very common in boys. What usually happens is that somewhere along the line they had a painful bowel movement. After that they try to hold it as long as possible because they don't want to go through the pain again. Holding it only makes it worse and the cycle of associating pain with the bowel movement goes on. We were told to give him a tablespoon of mineral oil everyday. A friends son had the same problem and her doctor told her the same thing. This did work. We also explained to him everyday, reassuringly, that the more he held it, the worse it would be. We would often remind him to try to go #2. It took about a week for the mineral oil to work and then after that he very rarely had a problem.

We had to take my daughter to a specialist because she had the same issue at the same age. It was incredibly frustrating. The specialist suggested that we tell my daughter that we weren't going to fuss over pooping in the potty anymore. She also had us apologize to her for all of the times that we got mad at her for pooping in her pants. Then, after we started with a theoretical clean slate, we told our daughter that we didn't care if she pooped on the potty. However, big girls poop in the bathroom. So, if she needed to poop, she needed to go into the bathroom to do it -- even if it was in her pants/pull-ups. When she was successful doing that, we celebrated with special time with mommy or daddy or some other thing that my daughter would want more than an item as an incentive. Then, slowly, we moved toward the potty. Big girls stand next to the potty. Big girls touch the potty. All of that. Luckily for us, our daughter caught on after that and we didn't have to keep up that type of training. But if we had, it would have moved to going poop on the potty with the pullup on, cutting down the pullup gradually, then going on the potty with nothing on at all.

It might be worth a try. Take all of the pressure off, but focus on just getting into the bathroom. Good luck!

I don't know how you feel about candy.. but I have suggested it to a few parents of children that attend the day care center I was employed at.... If you have a dish of m&m's or skittles near the toilet or in the bathroom where your child cannot reach... do this.... Show your child the candies. Say, "these are the potty presents, everytime you go peepee or have b.m. in the potty, you get to have 1 peice of candy. If you have an accident, one gets flushed away and you lose it." The child will more than likely be upset that they lost that peice of candy and try harder to earn it. It's only 1 small peice so it's not that bad for them and it gets them motivated to get in there on time. I hope it is a suggestion you are willing to try and I hope even more that it is successful for you and your child!!!