i have a great happy alert baby who takes the required naps during day...and sleeps pretty good at night however---to get the baby to sleep, my husband must rock him while he just cries and cries and then fusses himself to sleep. if we put him in his crib..he cries harder..so we opt for holding him and trying to comfort him while he cries/fusses. my sister advised that perhaps the crying is a way for him to self-soothe..and help get hi to bed..but it seems so unenjoyable..why would a baby want to do this? also, i was thinking that perhap he cries because he's tired..and doesnt know he's tired. he does this for naps too. at end of the day..he's a good sleeper. i just feel so sad that each and every time he goes down to sleep..its this crying. he's an otherwise happy go lucky baby..and we always catch him BEFORE he's overtied..but it doesnt matter..as soon as we settle down in rocker to get him ready for naps/bed, there comes the cries/tears..and if we put him down to CIO, its just the same. we dont know what to do. any advice?
also, we checked w/doctor. he doesnt have reflux, he never spits up. and his crying isnt done in this crib when we lay him down but while we hold him and rock him to sleep. that is when he cries. if we try to walk around w/him in his nursery same thing. i read the healthy sleep habits book and the routine we are wanting to follow is that all the night time activities take place in his nursery..so that is where rocker is. also, he's done this from birth. i am worried that its not a phase..but somehow this is how he puts himself to sleep/ it just seems so sad. and not enjoyable. will he ever outgrow this? and how in the world will he ever get to self-soothe...if he can't even wind down w/out crying?? feeling lost.
thanks to all who gave me advice. i wanted to let those folks that misread my note..that we do not ever leave him alone to cry. he is always crying w/us as we rock him or attempt to soothe him to sleep. we also have a nighttime routine i do diigently every night..that is about 30 minutes long and includes a bath, some books and a feeding. we are hoping he'll outgrow this phase or perhaps a call to our dr. might give us some more tips.
thanks to all of you. A.
How is he eating? The only thing I can think of is that he is hungry. If he's fed, could it be gas?
Have you tried playing music for him at sleeptime? That might help......
Can you please update me on how you got on as this is so similar to our 4 months old. She cries so really hard at sleep time, its only till you rock her or bounce she will fall asleep in your arms. This can be soooo tiring at times any help will be appreciated.
Everyone says its gets better, but when god knows.....
Our angel is a happy baby otherwise, afraid of taking her out sometimes as she screams the place down. Doctor says she is fine as long as she is feeding, will this time ever pass??????????
Hello I'm a mom of six. My last fifth baby did the same thing. I finally figured out that he liked to be left alone when he was ready for bed. No hugging or snuggling him to sleep!! Very dissapointing for me but that's the way it was! I would use a firm pillow to the right of him and a firm one above his head and he would put his cheek against the one. He always settled into that nicely. I do it with my 6 month old daughter right now as she too was starting to fight sleep to the death!! Good luck. I really think some people don't like to be bothered at bedtime, even at such an early age!!
You might want to try swaddling him or using the colic hold. Your pediatrician can give you information on how to do these techniques correctly. Also sometimes white noise will help. Turn on the washer or dryer and walk holding the baby. Or you mitght try turning on a fan or vaccum cleaner. It's weird, but this noise often has a calming effect on some babies.
I agree with what people are saying about seeing a dr. or changing the way you sooth him to sleep. I am not sure how old your baby is but letting him cry alone is not the way to go especially if he is still very young. Crying DOES do damage ( i am not talking about crying for a bit as a form of communication or in response to getting hurt. I am talking about long loud screaming cry that goes on and on.). If left to cry, a childs blood pressure begins to rise as a result of the stress that they are feeling and the stress that they are putting on their tiny bodies. Their breathing becomes irregular from the yelling and their heart rate is elevated. Stay with your baby. find ways to sooth him. A few wimmpers? Sure. All out screaming and crying? Find out the cause. If you were in distress you would want someone to help you.
Wow, that sounds frustrating! Have you tried a soothing nighttime routine ( and one for naps) to signal that sleep time is going and to wind him down? Also, you said..."if we put him down to CIO, just the same..." that may be one of the sources of the problem if you have tried that method. At 4 months its still too early (CIO experts say wait until at least 6 months). Depending how often you did it he may have a negative sleep association (this is not to make you feel badly, honey, just giving a "hmmm, maybe.." explanation).
"They" say to get them drowsy however you choose to then put them in the crib to finish falling asleep (easier said than done, I've found). There are a slew of sleep books out there...I liked Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution". It takes some time and effort, but you seem like dedicated and good parents who would be willing to put in the effort for you little one.
Good luck!
Our baby was like this too - it passed. At around six months we sleep trained him and now he fusses for about a minute or so and he goes right to sleep - all night long from 8 to 6. He is 9 months now. He started sleeping thru the night around 7 months. From birth to 5 months we had to do the 5 S's from the book Happiest Baby on the Block. I thought it would never end. You may just need to wait it out until he is 6 months and then sleep train him.
For now, maybe try and swaddle him or feed him before he sleeps - using a pacifier may help too. It is early, but he may be teething too. Not sure if this has happened from day one or this is new... if is new - could be teething... my soon teethed around 4 months but just got his first tooth at 9 months!
Good luck... it will pass!!!!
So I know this was several years ago but just wanted to say our baby does the same thing since birth too!!!
I agree it might be reflux... does he spit up at all? If not, it might just be his way of settling down. If he doesn't move out of this phase in a couple of weeks, I'd check in with the doctor...
He may have acid reflux which causes a lot of pain when lying down. I would check with your dr. on this one.
Lots of babies have a hard time wanting to turn in for the night. Sounds like you're doing everything right. Seems like a smart baby who knows the routine!
Personally, since he cries whether you rock him or not, I wouldn't! Unless you love doing it, because if you get him used to it, you'll always have to do it. Whereas, if you get him used to falling asleep on his own, he'll feel secure doing that. Just remember, the crying isn't hurting him! You know he's fed, you know he's dry, you know he's safe, let him learn to fall asleep-it's OK to cry!
I always did a nice night routine (ESPECIALLY FEEDING TO CAPACITY ALL DAY-they MUST be full to sleep well!!!) and then walked away from the cribs in their own room as soon as they slept through most of the night without nursing (2-3 months?). My daughter never cried at all. My son would always cry. We never went back in and did anything for him, so he learned from the start that it was time to work himself to sleep. It took several days/weeks/can't remember for the crying to be just for a few minutes instead of a long battle. To this day (18 months), he still lets out a few battle cries at night, but it's just his way of being frustrated the fun day is over.
Sometimes he's funny because he's so not really sad and sounds like he's acting. He'll even walk in to get his teeth brushed, walk over to his own crib, let me put him in it, lie down, and then when I walk out, he cries a little, like he can't believe it's happening. He stops by the time I get to the bottom of the stairs. They've both been secure happy sleepers always, even when we travel. Just relax, he's fine! you're doing great!
Do you swaddle? Go to miracleblanket.com saved my life!
My son was the SAME way. Everyone always says how happy he is and I say he is except when you're trying to get him to sleep. We tried everything, but he still cried every time he went to sleep for naps and nighttime. Eventually he stopped crying at naps and then he stopped crying at bedtime, for the most part. It seemed like it was part of his winding down process. For bedtime my husband would have to rock him to sleep (actually him holding my son tightly while he squirmed and cried) and he would say that actually the harder he cried the faster he went to sleep, like the more tired he was the harder and shorter he cried. You couldn't sit with him at all and there was no way you could read, he seemed so angry. He did it from birth so I don't think it's fighting sleep (they're too little to do that as newborns), it's just their way of getting to sleep. I don't really have any advice about making it easier just wanted to let you know that he'll stop eventually. My son liked the mobile so it helped a bit to turn it on when I put him down if he was wide awake. We started doing some CIO around 6 months or so, but it didn't work too well, just made him angry. We'd let him cry a bit then go in, etc. Mostly when we needed a break we'd just put him in his crib then come back and rock him some more. My son is 11 months now and usually gets to sleep without crying and even started putting himself to sleep now. So, hang in there, maybe it's a maturity thing and once their nervous systems mature they can handle getting to sleep easier. I like the book 'Healthy sleep habits, happy child'. It didn't help with a strategy, but it has a lot of info on sleep that I found useful. Good luck!
Hi. I was just doing a search of "my baby cries while being rocked to sleep" and found this. My sweet and happy liitle girl, who is almost 4 months, sounds a lot like your son. She gets so cranky and cries hard when we put her to sleep and it always takes a lot of rocking. We always put her down sound asleep and have tried the "drowsy but awake" but it really doesn't seem to work with her. I've been thinking about crying it out, but I am so nervous to do it with her, since she already cries so much and depends on us to help her get sleep. Your post is from a couple of years ago, so I'm wondering what has happened with your little boy's sleeping. How did you help him get to sleep on his own? Any info would be helpful- we too feel so bad that she cries herself to sleep all the time. Thanks!
Is it possible that he is hungry? Is he swaddled? A lot of people told me to stop swaddling my son at 3 mos but he really needed it until he outgrew the swaddlers. Maybe you need to use a sling and get him to fall aslepp in that and then transfer the baby to the crib. I know alot of people will be appalled when they read this but have you tried cosleeping? I would recommend the no cry sleep solution book by elizabeth pantley. It has some good ideas. Good luck.
My daugther did the same thing for about a month. I think she was overtired, even though, yes, she took her naps during the day. We started putting her to bed a little earlier and she seemed to pass through the phase. She still had about a month where it was hit or miss, and after we did our bedtime routine and put her in bed she'd still cry. It seemed like by the time she was 8 months she had it down and the crying ended.
Stick to your routine and try to soothe, but I think its a phase. You might tweak your routine so he's not in the rocker, we all sit in "Mommy & Daddy's bed" and read our books, then move to "baby's room" for one last book and a song. Good luck.
change his night time routine. Give him a warm bath before bed and rub him down with some lotion and give him a baby massage. he could also be getting some teeth or teething at this point. if he seems to be drooling a lot he could be teething. give him some baby tylenol that will help with the pain. they will go through different stages. try some music for him before he goes to sleep. we have a mushroom that does music or nature sounds and projects different images on the wall. It is early years musical mushroom dreamlight. my son is almost two and he received it as a present when he was born and still likes it.
Most babies will fuss when falling off to sleep until they learn how to self-soothe. You may be better off rocking the baby until he is almost asleep and then putting him in the crib. Also, are you sure that he's not overtired? You would be amazed at how much sleep a baby needs. My son took two or three good naps throughout the day and then slept from 7pm-7am everynight. He was also a happy baby that cried when he was going to sleep. Have you tried other options? Does he cry anytime he is being rocked in the rocking chair or just at bedtime? Are you turning the lights down low? Playing soft music or singing to him? Do you have a bedtime routine such as bath, reading/singing then rocking? I used to read to my son before he went to sleep at that age. The first night I read to him for 45 minutes before he started to doze off. The second night it only took a half hour. I would usually put him down just as he was dozing off and he'd fuss for a few minutes and then fall asleep. Soon, he was going to sleep on his own. It's a beautiful thing :o)
I'm not sure if any of this will help but I think it's fairly normal for a child to resist sleep. Once they learn that they are no other options except bedtime, they learn that it's inevitable and they just go to sleep on their own.
Hi A., I reccomend the book "Happpiest baby on the block" by Dr Harvey Karp. I was like my bible when my babies are that little. Also is he napping lying down too? I am just wondering could it be reflux? My middle guy had colic and reflux and it helped to elevate his head a little in his bed so he was not lying flat. Just a suggestion. If you suspect this I would bring it up with your Dr. Good Luck!! Hope this helps :)
Hi A.
please forgive me if i did not totally understand your post......is baby crying both when u rock him and when u put him down to sleep? instead of rocking, does he cry if you put him directly in his crib?
my baby was kind of the same in that when she was ready to fall asleep she just wanted to be in her crib...she would fuss until we put her there...i thought that was odd, but went with her and did all of our nightime rituals as quickly as possible (bath, bottle, kisses!) then put her in her crib where she fell asleep almost instantly...
hope this helps :)
Hi A., There's no rule that says you have to rock your baby before you put him to bed. Maybe the answer to your problem is just keeping his routine more simply by getting him ready for bed and then putting him in it without rocking...maybe a little swaying "dance" then into the crib while his is awake might be better. We kept our rocker in our living room and used it durring the day for stories, or snuggling time because it wasn't soothing for our girls at bedtime either. Sometimes you just have to think outside the box! Best wishes.
