4 Mo Old Sleep Dilemma Continues

Updated on January 06, 2011
D.P. asks from Greenville, NC
5 answers

My 4 1/2 mo old baby girl goes to bed at 7 pm like clockwork every night . She always wakes up 1-2 hours later, completely awake. She is happy, grinning, laughing, trying to roll over, talking, etc. So cute, but SO frustrating! It's like she just woke up from a nap! She isn't hungry, wet, or anything obvious. She naps fine during the day. Morning nap- 1 - 1 1/2 hour, early afternoon nap -1 1/2 hour, late afternoon nap- 30 minutes. She is pooped when she goes down at 7, but she isn't overtired. How do I get her to go back to sleep? She is swaddled (otherwise her little hands are all over her face). I can't cut out that late afternoon nap- she gets too cranky.
I do work full time, but she is kept by my mother and my MIL. She gets plenty of holding, love, and attention during the day. Otherwise, I would think she is needing more attention.
I have read all the sleep training books. I get conflicting info. Keep her up, or put her down earlier. Let her cry to teach self soothing. I have no problem with trying anything. With my son at 4 mos, he was a better sleeper and Ferber worked a miracle for us. He was an all night sleeper after 2 days of crying at night for about 30 minutes. However, for some reason this method doesn't work with her- She is very persistent, and she'll eventually wake up her brother in the next room.
I'm at a loss. Last night she was up grinning from 9-11. Happy as a lark! Sometimes she is up even later than that. Then she is up to eat around 3 AM, then I end putting the paci back in her mouth 2 or 3 times after that. One of those times, I have trouble getting back to sleep. I'm like the walking dead!
Suggestions/ experiences? Keep her up until 8? Or go to bed earlier (as stated in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child)? Unswaddle her and let her cry, hoping she will self soothe?
Thanks you sososo much!
EDIT: No offense to anyone, but I prefer not to hear a lot of bashing comments about "crying it out is horrible and damaging to the child". I am not in that camp. My son had horrible colic and screamed for hours upon hours he was an infant. If crying was cruel and/or damaging, then he would have been completely ruined by the time he turned 4 mos old.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would let her sleep when she is tired and be awake when she is awake. When DS was that age, we put him in his crib after (what we hoped was) his last feeding - generally around 11 pm. Most babies have an approximately 3 hour schedules of wake, cry, eat, play, sleep. If you put her down at 7, I would expect her to be back up at 9 or so and likely need to be fed again. If you feed her later, she may sleep through until 5-8 am (or it may take her a little longer, 18 weeks is certainly within the ballpark for normal)

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B.L.

answers from Yakima on

Maybe I'm in the minority here but at that age I would suggest you just let her sleep and eat when she wants and make your schedule around her, not the other way around. Children need security and to know you are there when they need you. I think it's cruel to let them cry it out. I know what you mean about missing out on sleep but it goes with the territory when you have a child. This isn't going to last forever.

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

We're in a dilemma with our 4 1/2 mo DD, too, regarding night feedings.
My plan up until this point that's 'mostly' worked is, unless I need to feed her, I don't respond to her.

For yours, I wouldn't go in until she was *really* crying, and then just give her the paci. Sounds like her bedtimes and naps are right on. She's just going through the developmental fun at that stage and is aware that if she's up, you'll come in! I would be all business about it, and I'm guessing that she'll get bored after a few days of limited response from you and just go back to sleep.

That's worked for us for the most part. Now I'm working on weaning her feedings. Mine still wakes every 4 hrs like clockwork for bottles. Starting tonight (this has been the discussion this morning!) we're going to start decreasing what she gets overnight, till it's eventually nothing - then just paci.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

My son did this too. He wasnt crying, he was happy as a lamb. Just wasnt sleepy.

If she isnt crying and is just a happy girl, and wants to play around in her crib let her. Go back to sleep, she cant hurt nothing just playing around by herself. She might even put herself back to sleep. I did this, and it worked for me, and then when she starts crying then go in there and see what she needs.

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L.D.

answers from Raleigh on

I agree that if she is happy when she wakes up let her play in her crib. It's a great way for her to learn to self soothe. She might be ready for just one nap in the afternoon instead of two. You might want to try to move her early nap back and eliminate the late one. That 1/2 hour cat nap may be the problem. Good luck.

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