4 Hour Plane Ride with 16 Month Old on Lap

Hi N.,
I took my son when he was 14 months. I have a friend who is a flight attendant & she suggested calling the airline and asking to be in the bulk head row( this gives you more room since no one is in front of you & the baby can get down in front of you). This worked for my son. & i didn't have to worry about anyone in front of me. Be sides that bring a new toy, & lots of snacks( I was concerned about ears popping but it was not a problem). Good luck & have a great time.

Dumb question, but maybe it would be better to have her stay with someone until she's a little older? You'd enjoy the trip more, and let's face it, she won't remember it anyway. Is there a trusted family member or friend not going on this trip that you could leave her with? Just my two cents.

HI. It is not that bad. Ask for either a window seat or a row seat... take trips to the bathroom to change her and bring extra toys or a dvd player to watch a movie or show.. I have travelled a lot with my two kids and it gets better. My kids loved being held and drinking on take off and landing..time goes fast and if there is anyone else for her to talk with all the better.the noise and feel of the plane also helps with napping...run her wild before you get her onto the plane so she is tired as can be.. and have fun...

You have gotten a lot of great advice on occupying your child. I just traveled with son when he was sixteen months old on my lap. One thing I will add to everyone else's recommendations is to rent a CARES restraint system. It is basically a seatbelt that makes the airline seatbelt into a carseat type harness. It weighs one pound and can easily fit in your bag. I rented it through ebay for $15 (search "rent my cares"). I rented from seller "m and d in fl" and I had a really good experience. The site will tell you more about the CARES, but the advantage of this approach is that if there is an empty seat on the plane, you can strap your child in for safety and sanity without having lugged your carseat through the airport. Another bit of advice is to bring that grippy shelf liner stuff. If your child gets a seat, putting the grippy shelf liner on the seat will help her (and her toys) stay on the seat. If she doesn't get a seat, it may help on the tray to keep things from sliding off.
Good luck and relax, you will have a great vacation even if the flight is long and hard (which it won't be!)

I had to travel by plane with one of my little ones once. The child was just over a year at the time. It went fine. It was a little uncomfortable for me having to hold her in my lap the whole time, but she was well behaved and very interested in the clouds outside the window. I had some juice for her at the beginning of the flight for her to drink while we went up to help with the ear problem.

The flight attendants were very nice as well. Hopefully, you are on an airline with TVs built into the seats. That might help a lot. :)

If you are planning to "sedate" your child with Benadryl, please check with your doctor first, and try it out at home before traveling. I have a friend whose child got really riled up after taking it (about 10% children will react that way to Benadryl).

I always bring extra clothes for the kids, and for myself. Especially with a lap child, you most likely will have something spilled on you!

You will be fine. My worst trip was cross-atlantic, by myself with my 22 month old in my lap, stuck in the middle seat (strangers sitting to the right and the left - and the guy on the aisle didn't want to switch with me).
You have your husband, and the time will fly by like nothing!

hey there...we went to florida last spring w/ our 2 kids, the 5 yr old had her own seat, but my 17 mth old (at the time) was on my lap- and he is an extremely active child! it was okay! most likely he will fall asleep for part of it...the other thing i did was bring lots of snacks, and i went to a used kids store and bought both kids some small toys/puzzles they had never seen before (books would work too) or if you don't want to buy toys you could borrow from a friend.
if you are concerned about safety, what i did was bring my sling, so that he was at least secured to me during takeoff/landing!
good luck, enjoy your trip.
L.

My son was born in the Dominican Republic. I have travelled to and from there many times (alone) with my son. It has always worked out fine. Sure, I was exhausted by arrival to and from, but we arrived safe and sound. We went just before he turned 2 and he sat on me the whole way! We colored, read, sang, played I spy, and he slept. Don't worry, you'll be fine- especially if you have your husband there!!! It's only about a 4-4.5 hour trip.

I took my 20 month old daughter from coast to coast in my lap. Long flight with a layover. She squirmed the whole time, but basically was just fine! You will be just fine with your daughter on your lap for five hours. Take off and landings were fine for us too.

I brought food for her (the airlines were a-ok with baby bottles and the food i brought in her cooler, but I had to toss the icepack I had in there). I brought a bag full of toys, extra clothes, etc. and used almost nothing each way!! Try to be minimalist, esp if you're traveling alone. Try to just have one bag, maybe a knapsack so you can have your hands free. Bring a cheap umbrella stroller for use in the airport that you can gate check. My main advice would be to just know that you won't be relaxing for any time of the flight, but your daughter will likely be curious and fascinated for the ride and that alone will keep her entertained, and it won't really be all that difficult for you either. Fellow passengers will likely enjoy her presence too so try not to worry about that.

It will be fine. It can be a pain for you to have the little squirmer on your lap but I've done it a couple times and it wasn't so bad. My DD fell asleep nursing on take off so that took up a bunch of time. Have little snacks, get a cup of ice on the plane, that can be fun for ages, lots of stickers were great for us, little toys and books she hasn't seen before also worked well. Relax so your child doesn't pick up on your anxiety. Have fun!!

Awesome. Enjoy the vacation. Don't fret too much. If you get flustered worrying it will probably be bad. Just be cool. I've traveled with my daughter who is just under 2 years several times via plane. Keeping them on your lap as they get older is trickier, but hopefully she'll be better than you think. Mine was.
Have a drink ready for her to have at take off and landing. This will help her ears with altitude changes. So hopefully you have a tv on the headrest in front of you that shows you altitude changes. Jet Blue is awesome for that. And TV shows are great to distract. Mine wasn't into cartoons then, but we wacthed cooking shows and we pretended to mix and chop and pour and she loved it. Let her play peekaboo with others if she wants. Have a new book that she might like on hand and a possibly a doodleboard. You know your kid, so I'm sure you can figure it out.
Play games like, "how many trucks do you see? How many planes on the runway?" Talk to her and interest her in what she can see from your lap. It will help her be still. Counting games, colors she sees, etc. These games can eat up time. Play where is your nose, and all her body parts.
I know what it's like to travel with a monkey child on your lap, and mine was pretty darn good everytime. Just be prepared and calm and hopefully she follows suit.
Don't let other passengers' looks of dispair "child on flight" bother you.
And hopefully, she falls asleep for most of the flight. Sometimes it happens.
Good luck!

I traveled with mine at 15 months old and didn't have a seat for him. Of course it was only 2.5 hours. I had my husband, me, and my nephew in the 3 seats going so the baby could climb between the 3 of us. Him not having a car seat was not scary during take off and landing because he really did sense the change and stopped wriggling and crawling around during that time and clung to me. I don't know what your feeding situation is, but the best thing for me was breastfeeding, although I didn't usually do it in public when he was at that age, it calmed him down so fast and got him to go to sleep. If you are not breastfeeding I would take a few bottles to help with the ears, try to get her to drink during those times. I have to say the people around us were for the most part very gracious and understanding. I couldn't wait to get there, but overall it wasn't as bad as I imagined. You might want to buy a new toy or two that will be intriguing to her. Also bring lots of snacks and make sure you change her right before you get on the plane because there is no room in that bathroom for changing.
Good luck!
Deb

Hi N.,
I have 3 kids and I traveled with all of them when they were younger and this age. Sometimes you don't know how things will go, but I tried to bring some snacks with me. I know you can't bring liquids, but I would buy something for her before you get on the plane. Also, bring toys or books that she especially likes, board books, or something that she enjoys playing with from home. I'm not sure what time you are traveling--- I don't think you said, but usually if you wake her up early and it is a morning flight or even if it is an afternoon flight, try not to let her nap on the way to the airport and let her run around in the airport before you get on the plane. This way she will be tired out before she gets on, and she may sleep for a good portion of time. You can always walk around on the plane with her too. I also brought my stroller with me and did a gate check, so I would get it right when the plane landed. This helped so my hands were free to carry bags etc. I think most parents worry about what other people will think if she does something you don't want her to do. But, I found it to be easier than you might think it would be. I would get a window and middle seat. It is also nice for her to be able to look out the window before takeoff. Ask for your seats when you first get to the airport. I am sure you will do fine!

OK...we are in the SAME situation. We are leaving in 3 weeks for the Disney cruise and have a 3 hour flight with our 16 month old on our lap! I am doing exactly what others have suggested...snacks, portable dvd, toys, and books. The more you worry the worse it will be cuz your child may even sense your nerves. Have a great time and try and relax! You will probably just have to visit the "exciting airplane bathroom" frequently. When we travelled with my other daughter a few years back the trips to the bathroom really kept her entertained!

Hello N.-

I have done a lot of flying with my daughter (she is now 2, so the free ticket ended in August for us). She has always flown as a lap child. I will admit that before she was moving, it was much easier to fly with her. Once she started moving, it was a couple hours of hell. I have always flown with her by myself. I feel that if my husband had come on these trips, it would have been 100 times easier. Negotiating airports with toddlers by yourself is hard.

Some things that I have found that have worked are..
1. pack a bag of new toys that she has never seen before, especially ones with lots of lights and buttons
2. pack treats to eat. If she never gets cookies, bring cookies. Setting her up to eat is good.
3. having lots and lots of patience.

Once Nora started moving, I just prepared myself that the trips were going to be 4 hours of hell (she screaming, wiggling, kicking the persons seat in front of me, kicking the person next to me... you get the idea).. I am a big traveler and have been flying for a long time. I have now turned into that person I dread sitting next to!!! How children change us!!

Good luck with the flight. Remember, it is only 4 hours out of a wonderful vacation!!! You will recover once you get there!!

E.

You can always bring the car seat in case a seat in the back opens up, and check it at the gate.

Toys, portable DVD, crayons/paper, snacks, drinks... That's all I can say. I traveled with my son at 19 months and then again when he was 22 months. It won't be as hard as you think. And he sat on our laps too... Everything will work out - there is a lot to look at for their new little eyes.
Good luck and have fun!

Hi N.,
I agree with the other moms who said to have new toys for your daughter to keep her entertained. My daughter was closer to 2 when I flew with her as a lap child, and to be honest she did a lot better than I thought she would. We brought a coloring book, crayons, stickers, a few small toys, and snacks. In addition, a co-worker suggested I give her lollipops for take off and landing. I'm not sure if your daughter eats lollipops yet, but anything she can suck on can help with the pressure difference for take off and landing. You might want to let her move around in the airport prior to takeoff so she can get rid of some of her energy. Maybe she will even take a small nap on the plane. Good luck!

Just try to think positively about this. Pack "new" toys for her to play with. I put away some of my son's favorite toys (who is also a monkey) and when I took them out he was so excited. I also brought books to read to him. She will most likely fall asleep at some point. We flew to Mexico, California and Disney while my children were under 2. We made it and traveled a few more times. Remember, she will be so curious about her new surroundings that in the beginning, she will focus on people watching. Pack snacks, some new toys and old favorites, and a blanket for her to sleep. You will have a great time. So what if you need to take a walk in the plane, it would not be the first time!! Have a great trip!

You should be fine. My hubby and I travelled that way with our son and there was only 2 of us. With 26, she will have lots of laps to sit in if she gets bored. We bought something called a Baby B'Air, which allows your baby to be harnessed into your own seatbelt. We have been very pleased with it. I makes the baby safer in turbulance and things like that. Good luck and have fun!

P.S. Are you bringing the car seat with you? People in D.R. drive kind of crazy!

I would suggest bringing a kid-sized backpack of new books and small toys that you save for the plane ride. Make it a fun bag that has lots of zippers, snaps, compartments, etc., so that she has just as much fun with the bag as she does with the stuff inside. Also, if you have an old wallet, fill it up with expired gift cards, old membership cards, wallet-sized photos of cousins, friends, and herself. She'll have so much fun going through the wallet. Include an old makeup compact so she can see herself in the mirror and play with that. You'll be amazed at how many times she just opens it and snaps it shut. Tons of snacks (if they'll let you - I don't know what the regulations are regarding food and drinks on planes). Give her these things one at a time, to really make the fun (and novelty) last as long as possible. And if the ride is smooth, by all means walk the aisles if they don't have the seat belt sign lit up. I've never been an airplane walker (prefer to be firmly belted, thank you!) but a lot of parents just can't make their toddlers sit still that long.

Hi, N.,

I am a first time mom of a 19 mo old. Due to unfortunate family illness/death events this year, we have had to travel with her by plane multiple, multiple times. I started trying to get her her own seat for the last two flights we took and I hear you--it is so much easier. I am fixing to fly tomorrow again, though, with her in my lap because we just can't afford the seat this time. All I can say is make sure that you and your husband are sitting together so that you can swap laps. Even though it helps just a little, the little really helps your sanity.

DVD PLAYER--if you don't have one, get one. Bring several DVD's of her favorite shows (We do Baby Einstein, Jack's Big Music Show, and the Mickey Mouse Club House). It saved us so many times. Bring books and a baggy of small toys that you can easily dig out of your carry-on bag and give to her a few at a time (switching them out as she starts to send them on "sky-diving trips" to the floor). If she likes to color, bring some color pages with a crayon or two. Our daughter likes to flip the pages of the magazines in the seat pocket. Talk about the flight, too. I'd even get a board book about planes. Talk up the plane and things like take-off and landing. We do a count down to the "little boom" at the end of the landing. We point out how things get smaller while we take off. I can't think of much else.

As far as how much she will wiggle and kick the seat in front of you--you do what you can. If the people in the seats around you see that you are struggling with her, they most often won't say anything or if they do, they are usually sympathetic. Usually, you are more aware of everything she is doing that might be annoying to someone else than anyone else, if you are a attentive, hovering, first-time parent. Some airlines have better service than others and the flight attendants can either be helpful or oblivious--it's a roll of the dice. Just don't count on them. Know that you will all get through it in one piece and the people on the plane will forget about you in a matter of hours and won't remember you even if they see you again ;)...

I wish you luck. I am lucky to just have a 3 hour flight tomorrow. I totally sympathize--it is so much easier to fly everyone in their own seat. Sometimes I wish that they took the choice of laps away for children over a year--then I wouldn't have to argue about how much it is worth getting my daughter her own seat.

Liz V

N., First thing I would do is to contact the airlines and explain your situation. It is certainly a special needs situation in my mind, having flown with a squirming 18 month year old to San Fran a few times from Western MA. They may have a wait list for seats (if financially possible for you) - I would ask that they make your situation a priority for any cancelled reervations. Also, it will alert them to pay special attention, just like a person traveling with an injury, or needing special meals, etc. Best of luck - also, appreciate your sensitivity to your in-laws, but I would tell them your concerns, that you are on a wait list, see if they offer to help -

I second the advice to pack a bag with lots of small toys and books, her favorites and some new stuff. I also recommend going to the dollar store or the "dollar spot" at Target and getting lots of of things there. This saved us on a recent road trip with my 16 month old. Her favorites were beaded necklaces and stickers, but I also found a shape sorter and stacking cups and things like that, and those kept her occupied a long time. It will make a mess as the toys scatter, but it's better than a wiggling screaming kid. Good luck!!

Hi there,
I recently traveled to the Dominican with my daughter who was about the same age. We found that bringing a portable DVD player with her favorite DVDs made the long trip bearable. Also, bring plenty of snacks and fluids for baby to drink during take-off and landing. Hope this helps!

I have four children and we have traveled with all of them from 3months and up.

I personally buy and extra seat and place the car seat. We have trained them that it is just like riding in the car. Is there is anyway that you could change your flight and purchase and extra seat for the baby? Where you are all on different flights, that may work.

If not wearing a front carrier may help for take off and landing. She will know she needs to sit still for that time. Bring lots of little toys. Maybe some new ones, favorites, snacks, candy (m'm;s lolipops. I call it my magic bag, you never know what will appear. Playdough in the very small is good too. Books, small coloring books. Also the best one is a portable DVD player with her favorite show. A new DVD works great, one from home that she loves as well.

If you can travel around nap time or bedtime that is good as well. If she has ear problems,benedryl working great and also makes them sleepy. Take walks with her, whatever it takes.

If she cries or screams on the plane, try not to feel bad. Some people can be so rude, ignore them. Traveling with a baby is hard, the people that give you looks and make comments, dont enjoy their children as much as you do. Good luck

I took my very active 15 month old on a plane with her on my lap. She surprisingly did very well. We made sure we were the last to get on the plane so she didn't have to sit too long waiting for all the other passengers to board. The flight there was around her nap time and she fell asleep. On the way home though, I did give her some Benadryl to sleep. Bring lots of snacks and toys! Good luck

N.,

I don't think you sound spoiled at all...just anxious. I have taken two of my three sons as lap kids at different times in their lives (by myself). I won't kid you, it does have it's challenges. My advice to you is to just stay calm. Your child feeds off of your anxiety and if you can stay calm, your child probably will as well. You also have your husband to help you when you drop something, have to go to the bathroom or need someone "on your side". I would bring snacks that you child likes (but don't overfeed her before you even take off!) Bring books (lots...they can entertain for hours!), and some small lightweight toys. And bring a sippy cup (they don't have milk inflight, but they do have juice and water.) And if your child has a "comfort" item definitely bring that...just don't lose it!!!

When I flew to Holland via Chicago this past April with our youngest as lap child it was a LONG flight!!! But he did awesome. And he slept in my arms the majority of the flight, it was just me who was sore and tired from being in the same position for 7+ hours.

Good luck!! And if she screams...just remember the majority of the people on the plane have been there...some just forgot.

H. Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4, and 15 month old boys)

Hi- I feel your pain. I traveled from Boston to CA with 3 children ages 18 months, 3 years and 4 yrs. The advice already given was really good - food, snacks, dvd (if she will sit for it). I also brought small toys that I wrapped (and a bag for trash) so each toy took a few minutes to open. We also ended up walking up and down the isle ALOT - which was fine. Also (and this might sound strange) but dress her really cute, so you can win over the other passengers in case it goes bad. And, you might check for an extra seat if there is one available.

We took our daughter to India to visit my husband's family when she was about that age so I feel your pain! We always get seats for our kids when we fly with them so I can't relate to having them on my lap, but here's my general tips for flying with kids.

New toys and DVD player are a must, as lots of others have said. We sit in the back of the plane where the noise is loudest (if we can't get a bulkhead) and that seems to keep other passengers from being able to hear any whining or the DVD player. Try some window clings for the plane window to keep her busy. Make a little photo album of all the family members who will be on the trip, she'll love looking at the pics and hearing stories about the people, and it might help familiarize her with some folks she hasn't met yet. Bringing your stroller to the gate is a must, too! Security has always let us bring milk and juice boxes for our kids without any problems but of course you can't count on that. (I recently discovered that milk is sold just like juice boxes, in those individual little tetra-paks that don't need refrigeration! Great for travel and I always have one in my diaper bag, too). Your daughter might be a little young but color magic markers are great for a plane, too.

We also just got a SkipHop Pronto for diaper changes for our recent trip to Disneyworld and I can't believe I waited until kid number 2 to get one of these -- it holds everything you need for diaper changes in one place without having to lug the whole diaper bag with you, has a fold-out changing pad, a wrist strap, and you can fold it back up with one hand.

Good luck and have a great trip!

UGH. I feel really bad for you. I have had my now 20 month old on my lap for a couple of 3-4 hour plane rides and it is just brutal. There was one trip that she screamed through the whole thing. The only thing i can suggest is to make sure she is really, really tired before the trip starts (hopefully she will sleep through part of it). Also try motrin before the plane takes off. It might make her drousy and if her ears start to hurt the motrin will take care of any figiting and crying that the pain might produce. Another thing to at least try would be when you get to the airport as the people at the desk if there are any empty seats at all. They might be able to place you next to that seat. This is not likely but if there is a chance....

Good luck! Having a wiggiling child on your lap for 5 hours.. wew! I would almost rather drive! (we go from Houston to CT)

Hi N....here is a version of my response to this same question a few months ago...

I have flown a lot with my little boy by myself and it has always been a pleasure but has always been a lot of work! I am flying again on Monday! He is now 21 months.

I always put him off for a nursing (bottle feeding) until we are taxiing down the runway--this way he'll be sucking and his ears don't bother him with the pressure changes. Same thing on the descent. You can also give a pacifier if that's your bag. That's the part that bothers most of your fellow passengers--the baby is crying because his ears hurt!

The whole giving your little one benadryl thing is creepy if you ask me. Drugs act more potently in lower air pressure so be very careful and get a physician's advice on dosing if you want to go this route. I think under 2 is too young.

Snacks are good. Kids love the tray that goes up and down--so if you don't get a bulkhead row (absolutely the best place to fly with a baby) then don't fret it. I agree that you should try to ask for help with your fellow passengers to get you more room. 2 seats are crucial with changing diapers. Your husband will have to vacate his seat while you change your little one. Your only other option is changing on the floor in front of the bathroom (ew!). Don't worry about other passengers' reactions to diaper smells--just do it and seal that dirty diaper off as soon as possible in a plastic bag! Warn your seatmates about the impending change and give them a chance to vacate their seats for a few minutes. "If you want to stretch your legs, now's a good time because I need to give the baby a change!" Try to time changes at the best times: not just before meals, not during the movie etc.

When you get to the gate, ask the gate attendant what the loads are on the plane. If they have many extra seats, then when you get on the plane, you'll have a chance to move around to try to get two together after everyone is seated, but before the plane starts moving. Try to at least get an aisle seat so you can get out easily.

Bulkhead seating is great because you can stand with your baby there, once the flight has leveled off. You can "fly " your baby around. You can pick out all of the older matrons who think your daughter is adorable and wave at them. So many people will wave back! Just act like it is fun and have a good time and everyone else will start loving your babe.

Keep up a conversation with your baby about everything that is going on in the plane. Name everything. Introduce her to anyone that looks interested and tell them about your babe.

Great toys/entertainment:
a cloth napkin that you can play peekaboo with and make into animal shapes over your hand (rabbit, bird etc.)
a sock puppet or two that you can hold dialogs with
a small car
a small baby doll
a quiet rattle
lap games (pat-a-cake, rhymes, claps, pointing to body parts etc.)--get a book, ask friends or make them up!
songs with gestures

Finally: walking the baby. Take turns with your hubby. People love seeing a baby parade up and down. Try to do it when there is no movie but if you have to, do it anyway. Do not do this while the carts are out and serving people unless your timing is very good or there are enough empty seats that you can scootch into!

Have fun! You may be pleasantly surprised! Your babe may be intimidated by her surroundings and not want to get away from you after all. Have a great trip!

S.