Hi Moms! :) My son was potty-trained before he turned three, and of course we've had occasional accidents during the day and at night. However, for the past nine months or so (he turned 4 at the end of June), we've been accident free.
He moved into his new four-year-old class at Preschool about a month or so ago, and for the past three weeks, there have been at least two days a week where we pick him up and he's just SOAKED, sitting and playing like nothing happened!! The teacher hasn't noticed, and my son didn't tell her so that he can change out of his dirty clothes. It breaks my heart to see him sitting in soiled clothes, but it couldn't bother him less. When we ask him, he always says he was "too busy" to go to the bathroom. I'm not worried about the accident part, but what about the "let's sit in these wet clothes till someone notices" part? I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the change at school, and the move to the new class/teacher, but he really seems to love her, and is in there with some old friends from his previous class.
Do you think this is happening because of all the changes going on? (He also missed two weeks of school, a week apart, spending time with my parents and my husbands' parents, right after he moved into the new class). Any ideas? Should I be worried? Is this normal?
I think it's totally normal. He really is "too busy". Talk to the teacher. She needs to be aware of the issue and remind him frequently that it's "time to go to the bathroom".
This might come a little harsh - but I'm a Mom as well and am giving you my opinion. First of all - every time you've picked him up with accidents the teacher never noticed? What the hell is that? Sorry - but it would be the same if he chocked on something and the teacher didn't notice - she's clearly not paying attention. And if he's hiding in a corner by himself it makes it even worse because teachers of all people are supposed to have all the children included in the activity and if he's hiding and she didn't pick up on it then she's clearly not paying attention at all. You need to talk to the director about this and talk to her about this as well. I would be very upset with my school if this happened with either of my kids more than 3 times it happened once with my oldest and the director called me about 4 hours after it happened and said he doesn't have clothes to change in. I was furious you don't want your child sitting in soil as you mentioned all day long.
Number two - boys regress! about 70% of potty trained boys will regress and will have more accidents than girls. However, there's a way to control that. You need to ask the teachers to be more pro active with him in going to the potty. At least once every hour. Also, the changes can have an affect on this or he may not be happy and is looking for a way to tell you. My boys have played for hours and maybe one or two accidents but never affraid to tell an adult that they had an accident because they were playing so much. But every child is different. I will question the teacher why she never notices, get more detail if he's hiding and if it is because he's "too busy" then request that the teacher offers him to the bathroom once an hour. so that he understands it's okay to take a break from play time.
Mom, I teach young children and think this is likely due to all of the changes like you said. This type regression happens with young children on occasion; I would not make it a big negative issue of it with your son, just tell him you will help him work on it. Be sure you send a full change of clothes for your son in his back pack daily with underwear and socks and a large ziploc or plastic grocery bag and let him and his teacher know it is there. I would talk with the new teacher privately asap and let her know what is going on and ask for her support in helping your son overcome this. You may need to ask her to go to him hourly and quietly suggest he go use the restroom as a reminder for a few wks until things improve. A good teacher should have no problem doing this. Be sure to praise your boy each day he comes home from preschool dry. Hope this helps.
I dont have time to read all the responses but coming from someone with 16 years childcare exp and running a daycare with 300 kids 1 time home soiled is ENOUGH!
There are MANDITORY bathroom breaks every 2 hours in childcare. They need to be reminding the kids to go. The teacher is obviously not doing this. I know they are busy. I had 18 4's by myself and 35 with an 18 yo asst which was no help. And I only had the occaisonal accident.
Yes when there are changes in classrooms kids go out of wack just like having a new baby come. That is acceptable what is not is the teacher not realizing it. Bring it up the director and be firm if it contiues they obviously have issues and you need to call licensing.
Tell the teacher to remind and check on him at the required two hours (usually it is 8 10 noon after nap and again around 5/5:30)
I agree with the advice you've gotten so far about talking to the teacher and having them "remind" him to go from time to time. Boys get VERY involved in playing (I still tell my 7 yo "GO PEE!" when it occurs to me that he hasn't gone in like, 5 hours, and when he gets up in the morning, sometimes he waits an hour to pee!)
And I would be very concerned about a teacher who does not notice a soaked child sitting in pee in her class, playing. Who would NOT notice that? That's very concerning to me.
I tend to agree with all the posts, and yes, I think you need to talk to the teacher. My first thought was that with the older class maybe this teacher isn't used to reminding the kids to go potty (which I believe she needs to be doing even at 4). I think my first step would be to talk to her, then if it happens again go to the director. I hate to say it but if you alienate the teacher without trying to talk to her first it could effect the way your child's day goes. . . .
