31/2 Yr Old and 1&1/2 Yr Old sister..hpw to Teach Sharing??

I have read that the concept of sharing is very hard for kids to grasp, but for some reason "taking turns" makes more sense to them. It's her turn, wait 3 minutes or whatever, even set a timer, now it's YOUR turn. Often times just that knowledge that there is objective fairness will calm them enough to move on to other things. It's less a power struggle, and you're not asking as much of them.

With my Eldest child: EACH month, I explained to her, how her little brother was changing. Simple. Just explain it to your child.
My Eldest always understood.
Teach your son, that he was like that too. But now he is 3, and STILL learning other things and about himself.

THEN, no... a child does NOT have to always "share" their things. They should also decide, IF they want to share something. It is theirs and some things are just too special etc.
With my Eldest, BEFORE my son was born, I explained to her "Mommy does not expect you to share everything. I understand. Its okay..." and it is. A child, also has to learn that they have boundaries too.
Not ALL things, has to be, shared. My Eldest, would just keep certain things in her room. It was up to her.
I never, made her share everything. Nor do I do that with my youngest. They need to know, that some things can be, just theirs. For whatever reason.

Personally, I don't want to share ALL of my things, with everybody in the house.
It is the concept of respecting others, as well.

a 3.5 year old, is VERY different from a 1.5 year old.
And, the 3's and 4's are a very hard age.

Remember, that even if a child is the "Eldest"... they are still their age and going through their OWN, age related developmental difficulties and growing-pains too.
I know one elder sibling, that would really vent to me about her younger siblings... because, she was always the token default 'example' for all her siblings and she was really stressed out by that. Even if she was a young kid, herself.

Keep expectations, of the Oldest, age appropriate.

And yes, Boys ARE rougher. I have a boy and girl.
Boys...are very different than little girls. They are MUCH more physical and active and have larger motor movements. They just are, per gender, that way.
They are rougher and more physical.

And yes, for an elder child, it CAN be real irritating... to be around a baby all the time and having to defer to the baby all the time all day all the time round the clock. It is aggravating, for the oldest.
HE needs time, to just be himself.
Kids who are 3, do not even have, fully developed emotions yet, either.
NOR do they have the articulation to understand every abstract nuance of emotions nor are they fully socialized yet... and they do not even have... fully developed "coping-skills" either. All of these things are taught. Not even some adults, have coping skills.

He... needs more guidance, per his age now. Than say, a baby. Because, he is on the cusp... of so many things, developmentally and emotionally. They need a "rudder".... so that they don't get negative or resent... the sibling. But need to be, validated too... for their own feelings and who they are.

Make sure he has time to play away from her also.......
It's a long road :) My son is now 9 and my daughter is 7, so about the same spread as yours. It's an ongoing life lesson. Mine are best friends and worst enemies - everyday!!! Just keep with the guidance but give him some space too. He shouldn't have to share everything always.

If you find the answer that works, let me know. I have three boys ages 8, 3 and 1 and the younger two just don't share but we work on it everyday. . .

I have similar aged children, plus a couple more. I've noticed that when the babies get around 18 months old, or a little older, the other children tend to get more impatient and feel like the baby is always wanting their stuff and it can create more disagreements. Here's what we do:

- If it's no one's toy specifically, then we do timed sharing should two kids, or more, want to play with the same toy.
- If the toy is someone's toy (given at birthday or Christmas or something), then we do not force sharing. It is their toy, and we feel like it's up to them whether to share or not. We do encourage it, but if they don't want to, we don't make them.
- We will have little sharing lessons. We will talk about sharing and then take a toy and practice sharing it with each other. Or I'll have my kids go get a toy and share it with one of their siblings. They actually really enjoy doing this. It helps them practice sharing and we focus on how good it makes us feel inside. It has helped, but they have to do it frequently.

As for your son pulling things away, it's very common behavior. We practice how to nicely take toys back and stuff like that. Instead of punishing for bad behavior (it's not really "bad" behavior...it's more just little kid behavior and needing to be taught proper behavior), we focus on the proper behavior.

I agree with many of the answers you've gotten that taking turns is the best way to stop this and promote sharing. You need to be with them while they play to do this usually. Then give each time alone with their own toys too. It's been interesting teaching this with our twin grandson's and they do understand it well if you enforce it and they do get a turn.

Ugh this is so hard. My kids are 4 and 2 and we battle this every day!!! I try not to make the oldest always give into the younger one b/c that isn't right, but for the most part I do make them share. Sometimes I do make the little one "suffer" and wait his turn while my daughter gets to play with it. He has to see that he has to share too and although he usually just sits and cries while he waits, I try and get him involved in other things and I try and have him tell her thank you, etc. when she gives it up for his turn. I have just taken toys away for a day or two, but I don't love to do that either. It's a constant battle I'm afraid!