3 Yr Not Responding to Me!

I have 3 kids and this is pretty common and he will keep doing it until you make him stop. Who knows why he does it....who knows why kids do half of the things that they do. My suggestion would be everytime he hits you immediately pick him up and put him in time out or his room whichever works for you. Don't tell him to stop, don't argue with him about it just pick him up and go!! Hopefully he will catch on and knock it off!!

ONCE WHEN MY SON WAS ACTING OUTIT REALLY BOTHERED MEAN. I WAITED A FEW DAYS AND NOTHING CHANGED. SO I SAID TO HIM ( AT THREE THEY DO UNDERSTAND)HONEY, I WANT TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO? WE WENT TO THE PARK FOR A PICNIC. THE WEATHER GETTING COLD MAYBE SET UP A PICNIC INSIDE FOR JUST THE TWO OF YOU. LET'S PLAY A GAME I SAID. LET'S PLAY ASKING QUESTIONS. HE ASKED ME AND THEN I ASKED HIM. DO YOU LOVE ME DID I DO SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU MAD? NO. WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN TO MOMMY? I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. ETC. WELL, IT TURNED OUT HE DID NOT FEEL SPECIAL AND THE ALONE TIME MADE SPECIAL HELPED HIM TELL ME THAT. WE HAD A LONG( FOR A 4 YEAR OLD)TALK AND ENDED IT WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND KISS. YES, HE STILL ACTED OUT BUT I WAS THEN ABLE TO CHANGE THAT BEHAVIOR WITH A SIMPLE DO NOT DO THAT ANYMORE STATEMENT. I HOPE THIS HELPS. SOMETIMES THEY NEED REINFORCEMENT KIND OF LIKE WIVES NEED FROM THEIR HUSBANDS, IF THAT MAKES SENSE. PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW THINGS TURN OUT. ____@____.com

Hi S.! I am going through the same thing and it's driving me nuts!! My son turned 4 in August and he's kind of big for his age and really strong. He's always been kind of strong willed, is your son this way also?? I was just thinking my kid was that way because he has 5 older brothers and sisters and two of the older brothers are always wrestling and teasing him and getting him all wound up, they are 12 and 13 1/2. i don't like it but some of it seems to be par for the course. But I can definately sympathize cause I too am Really tired of getting beat up when he wants something or is cranky. He still takes a nap in the afternoons and that is even starting to not help. Time outs sometimes work for me. i think they get to focused on getting what they want and forget to be nice about it which will get a better response from mom.
Good luck, I can feel for you!!
M.

i have a 3yr old daughter and my mother and i call it the terrible 3s....my little girl give me all kinds of grief as well, while my husband can tell her to do something once and she does it immediately...it's frustrating as hell, but i stay consistant with the punishments even though it seems redundant, i keep letting her know who's boss...can't let a 3 yr old run you over and control the home

My youngest is barely three and is being very aggressive and "boyish". It is normal. My oldest two did the same thing. All of my friends boys have gone through it too. Just re-enforce the good behavior and reward it with small things such as stickers or trips to get ice cream. Good luck. It gets better. C.

I would suspect that he wants your whole undivided attetion and you may think he gets enough attention but clearly he wants more. He may also love the response he gets from you.

He's old enough for time outs. My 5 year old was sent to his room for this time until he got a tv and stuff in there to enjoy. I have a pack and play now for the youngest who is just about your son's age. I get down to his level, tell him what he did wrong and where I'm going to put him for his punishment, I put him in there for the prescribed time and I walk away. When I come back I tell him why he was in there and tell him I want an apology before he can get out. When you get the apology take him out of the "naughty spot" and ask for a hug.

Believe me if you let him get by with hitting now he'll get worse as he ages. Take the fun out of it. Use a un emotional voice when talking to him, try not to look sad or angry either. POKER FACE MOM.

If you know timeouts work, than go with what works, make sure he knows that he is not aloud to say that word first. And if that doesn't work, try Tabasco sauce!! Just one drop and I guarantee that will take care of it!!! Some people won't agree but I did it with my daughter a couple times and she has never said another bad word since and she is 5 now. But most important than anything, whatever you do make sure you are consistent!!!

I am a teacher at a local preschool, and my primary focus is three year olds. I find that very calmly "taking away a privilege" works very well. I give one warning about the behavior, then I take away a toy, video, activity, book at nap time, etc. If he cries for it later, I calmly explain why he lost the privilege, and what a better reaction might be next time. If I get to the point where I have to take a privilege away, I make sure to stick with it and not cave in. After 2 to 3 days of this, almost any kid comes around. They realize that their actions directly relate to a reaction. They also learn they as much as they'd like to be, they are not the center of the universe and that they have to act appropriatley to get good things. Good luck!

He may just be acting out to see what exactly he can get away with. Also if he talks ask him if someone hits him at day care just because the day care provider says no doesnt mean that someone dont do it while they are not looking. i mean dayt care providers cant see everything. When my oldest was in day care she did the same thing and this is what we figured out her problem was.

I've been going through the same thing with my 3 yr old. I have tried everything: time out, taking toys away, yelling, etc. I know she's just testing her limits, but it really tries my patience. This last week I decided that no matter how she speaks to me, I speak very calmly, and sweetly to her. Amazingly, it's working! She reverts back to her super sweet self almost instantly! It's a work in progress, mainly on my part. It's very hard to speak nicely to someone when they're yelling at you. Just something you might want to try. Good luck!

Does dad rough house with him? That's my problem, he thinks he's playing, but doesn't know how to be gentle. If this is the case, encourage dad to stop! Then teach the little one to stop too. Some of the other responses gave good ideas for this. Good Luck!

I went through it with my son. I am not sure what your punishments are... spanking, timeout, whatever it maybe. You will have to have a short talk with him... just enforce that you are mommy and he is not to hit or be mean to you that it is not nice. Short and sweet. then tell him if he does it more he will get ****** whatever punishment for everytime he does it. Honestly It may stop fast it may drag out to see if you are gonna stick to your guns. Just make sure you do stick to it. My son still hits my ex husband and ex mother in law... but they dont do anything to stop it. We battled over it for a few months then he quit doing it to me. He will learn who is gonna let him get away with it and who wont.

Hi S.,
first let me apologize for not responding before now. I just got a kidney and don't sit for long periods of time in this chair. A lady asked me what to do about biting and pinching and my response was give them a taste of their own medicine and hit him back in the manner he hit you, let him see what it feels like. You could also do time out. Hr's not to young to get ent to his room either, Don't underestimate these little tikes, they are smart

Welcome to the club.
All three year olds go through this. They are not only testing their limits right now but they are also trying to figure out where they belong in the world. Their feelings and emotions are more developed but their way of interpreting and expressing them aren't. Three year olds become frustrated easy and use something they already know(physical/hitting)to release tension!
One thing you can do when the start becoming frustrated is tell them to use their words. Get down to their level and calmly talk with them. The key is to actually pay attention to them. Don't give them attention until they calm down and are ready to talk you are only reinforcing the use of inapropriate behavior.
Another thing that you can do is give them something they CAN release their frustration on. When my daughter seems to have pent up steam, I ask her if she wants to throw a tantram and hit her pillow. This may sound odd but it works! She likes this because she thinks it free time to act silly or let loose. Sometimes she'll act like a baby, lion, monkey, or whatever else she feels like. I sit with her and after a few seconds she ends up laughing and having fun. She has either forgotten what made her upset or she just worked it out. Either way it works.
The key is to allow them to express this frustration in a more positive manner.
Next time your three yr old hits you, let him know that it hurts, you don't like it and you won't allow that knid of behavior. Also, let him know that he won't get what he wants if he continues to do it and if he wants you to hold him/help him then he needs to use his words and not his hands. This is something that all kids go through and if you can help them understand and deal with these frustrations they are better able to cope and so will you.