3 Year Old with Bladder Infection

Hi M.. I'm curious if she started "holding it" when she started potty training, or has she been going #2 on potty and then started holding it all of a sudden. If she just started holding it when potty training and had no problems with BM's before potty training then I would just let her know it's OK for her to go in a pull-up for now. Her health at this point is more important than her being completely potty trained. Hopefully once she's back to feeling comfortable with her BM's, you can start urging her to go on the potty. Just a thought.

Your daughter's problems are more likely than not - NOT a physical problem. When children are "holding" their body functions, it is their way of exerting control over their lives. They - when you think about it - have no control over anything you do, i.e., their schedules - plans you make for them, etc... they do, however, have control over their bodies. Example...let's say it is breakfast time - you are all running a bit late - she wants to eat breakfast - you say "we have to go"....etc. She can not control anything that is happening to her...BUT when you are ready to walk out the door or get in the car...suddenly she has to poop/pee... voila' she has control...she gets a say in what is happening to her. (This is very well documented in Freudian teachings) She can control her environment, by controling her evacuations.

By concentrating on "fixing" her - you are just battling to take away the only "control" she feels she has over her little life. You, in turn, make it worse... Over time, all this will take a toll on her physically, emotionally and mentally. You have to let go... (Yes, hard for a loving mother I know).

There is a book (and I know you will wonder why I'm recommending this, but trust me here...) by Abby Rohrer - called "Why won't my child stop pulling their hair out..?". She is a wonderful lady and her daughter had exactly the same problem as yours... It wasn't until she addressed her own issue, that her daughter was helped as well. Our children react to everything we do - even if we think we are hiding it from them. If you want - I can send you some of the book - (the part about her daughter)...

I wish you the best :) My heart is with you.

Sandi

Yes, I have had issues with my son. He just turned 2. He had one painful bm when he was 2o months old and it started this cycle. He's not holding his urine though. Children's Hospital in Detroit would be one recommendation. They have specialist's for this type of thing. The miralax has worked and also pear juice and they just can't hold it. Also have started using a probiotic called Florababy. Good for digestion and any bacteria in your system. Seems to be great. Of course he is younger. One other thing that worked was a chiropractic adjustment. His rectum muscle seemed to be pinched and that worked. Maybe something like that might help since she is tightening her pelvic muscles and it's like she's doing kegel's. I can give you the name of our chiropractor. He's excellent and made a believer of me with chiropractic care. I still have not seen him as a patient but both my husband and son have. Hang in there. J.

My oldest daughter was plagued with bladder infections starting when she was 4. (This is a long story) After our GP took us through 2 doses of antibiotics, he sent us to a urologist. That doctor did kidney and bladder xrays as well as a cystoscopy to stretch her ureathra. He said she wasn't emptying properly because her ureathra was too narrow. We had well water and I asked the doc if it could be our water, he said a flat NO! We went around with antibiotics for 3 YEARS! At the end of that 3 years, we were going to move as my husband got a different job. As it turned out we didn't move AWAY, the job fell through, but we had already rented out our home so we moved into a duplex that had city water. Through all the craziness of that time, I ran out of the antibiotics and she was fine. I thought we had it licked..she grew out of it or whatever. THEN the renters wanted out of their lease. We were happy to move back into our home. 2 weeks later she had a full blown bladder and kidney infection. Hmm....I took her to a D.O., not back to the urologist, and the first question I asked was about the water. The D.O. said absolutely it could be our well water and not to give her anything but bottled water. Lo and behold, she NEVER had another infection. Doc said there may have been some little "bug" in our well water that her little system couldn't handle. The D.O. also told me that "holding it" would not cause the infection, that her bladder would just let loose before any harm would be done. I would recommend getting another opinion on this. She could have a little bladder infection that isn't so bad that she is ill, just the uncomfortable burning when she pees and puts pooping right up there with it and doesn't want to do either one. So, get another opinion and clear up the existing infection, give her lots of bottled water (some city water could have a little "bug" that's irritating to HER system) and cranberry juice, limit her bath time as soap can be irritating too. It could be something as simple as your water or too long of a bath. Don't be shy, I am happy to answer any other questions. :)

Cranberry juice.

Just a thought...do you use Tide?

S.

Hopefully she is on a diet that will help her go on her own, remember BRAT, bread rice apple toast, this is for diarea, so not to much of these. Bran, liquids, bannana's fruit, veggie's. Make a chart & give rewards, I love children this age, easy to impress. They love to get things, even if they are from the $1 store. If that does'nt work, mabie things will work themselves out once the new baby arives.

I'd give her a lot of clear fluids to drink and soup and popsicles and watermelon etc. Don't pressure her about this. Also, tub baths may be adding to her problems - showers are better and soap that isn't scented. You have to handle this from a positive point of view or she will resist your efforts to control things. Good luck! You must be very frustrated.