3 Year Old Who Won't Sleep in Her Own Bed

Updated on October 11, 2006
A.D. asks from Lancaster, PA
4 answers

My 3 year old daughter refuses to sleep in her own bed. For the past year she will only sleep in my bed. I know it's my fault for starting this bad habit and I take full responsibility for it. It started right after I had my second daughter. I was so tired that I was going to bed really early and I felt bad making her go to bed at the same time so I would let her stay in my room and watch t.v. in till she was tired and crawed in bed with me. She never went to bed later than 9:00 so I was ok with her doing that for the time being. Now I can't get her to sleep in her own bed. Every time my husband and I try to get her in her own bed it's like WWII, she yells, cries, kicks, and bangs on the door. I would have no problem letting her do this in till she realized we were serious about her sleeping in her own bed, but the problem with that is she wakes up the baby and my step daughter so then we have two screaming kids and a tired 8 year old on our hands. So what I'd like to know is if anyone has any ideas on how to get her to sleep in her bed without WWII going off?

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S.K.

answers from Lancaster on

I am a co-sleeper and do not look at it as a bad habit. But my suggestion to you would be to get her a bed that is big enough for you to lay in. Work on laying with her in her own bed until she falls asleep, or at least until she unwinds. Start a routine with her right before bed. Brush teeth, brush hair, change into jammies, ect. Then go in bed with her and read her a book or two before you leave. This might help give her the attention she is looking for before bed and save you the WWII. Be consitant and make sure to keep your bed completely out of the equation. If she wakes at night, go to her an deal with her in her bed, do not bring her to your bed. Once you can get her in her bed, you can then work on keeping her from waking up at night. Work on one thing at a time, though.

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H.F.

answers from York on

We had that problem until my son was 2..What I did was moved his bed right next to mine..That way it was a little bit at a time i was still right next to him...Then a few weeks later his bed got moved down at the end of my bed..Then few weeks later ..It was in his own room...It really works cause just before he went into his big boy room we had moved to a new house and he wasn't scared cause we did it so slow and not right away pushing him out....Now he loves his room

Good luck

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D.V.

answers from Lancaster on

Well.. why don't u try laying in her own bed with her. Read her a book or if she has a t.v in her room turn it on until she falls asleep. This way once she is asleep you and your husband have your bed to yourselfs again and your other children aren't disturbed from her kicking and screaming. This way... you all win. It may take awhile until she will go to sleep in her bed without you laying with her, but it's worth a shot. She may feel that she can't sleep without you or daddy, so having you there with her may calm her fears of being alone. Give it a try!!!

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S.C.

answers from Lancaster on

I agree with the majority on this one. My son's father lets him sleep in his bed and I try to never let him fall asleep in my bed. I set the rule and I stick to it. It was hard on my son in the beginning. I do however, lie with him in his bed. In the past I would lay with him until he fell asleep. Now I read a book, say a pray and promise to check on him. He is allowed to come to my room in the morning, only once it is light outside and then he comes to snuggle with me in my bed. I really enjoy those 15 minutes or so before I have to get out of bed.

Good luck!

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