S.H.
My 3 now 4 year old did the same thing. It's the age and development they are in. Magazines will tell you the same thing. (Parents magazine had an article on it), oh and they get sassier too from this age. Again, boundaries and consistency in the main thing. My daughter listens to her father more than me too. She sees me all the time and sees that I'm her 'play-mate' and she tests my authority more. You have to stand your ground, if they tantrum, don't 'debate' or argue with them, just tell them the consequence and stick to it, and actually do it. At this age, they are more apt to argue and debate about things, it's the development of their 'self.' And they need to learn about proper interaction. When I'm out with her and she acts up, I will call my Husband on the phone and (right in front of her), tell him that she is mis-behaving. Then 'we' give her a consequence. This gets her to calm down and listen. I don't mince words with her, and if she still won't calm down or behave politely, I remove myself from her 'circle' and tell her I won't put up with it anymore and walk away until she 'reflects' on her behavior. She understands this and will actually think about her behavior and then she will come to me and apologize. I tell her even grown ups act this way sometimes, but we are a 'team' and a family... and we all have to 'try' to get along. I tell her if she's in a bad mood, it's okay..... it's human.. ..but she has to at least try to be nice about it. She can be grumpy to herself, but not to others, and I put her in her room (for timeout). It works with her. She understands. I tell her to just try her best, i don't expect her to be perfect.. but at least try, and she will. Gradually, she has improved. And as the child gets older, they will 'mature'...and other phases will come up. But for now, this has made her understand. Or i teach her to say 'no' in a more polite way and in a nicer voice...I tell her it's okay to have opinions, but she must learn to say it nicely. We are a team. And she will try. Like "mommy, i don't want to wear that please." Instead of just yelling "no!" Teach them to say things in a more polite way, not in a demanding voice. Then, this way, she has learned 'respect' for others feelings. Good luck!