3 Year Old Son Isn't Listening

At this age, they still need to be guided and taught what to do, what's right and what's wrong. There is a lot of repeating yourself too which can drive any sane person nuts!! lol A friend of mine kept yelling at her 2 1/2 yr old son one day to help my son (3yr) clean up his room. But her son kept trying to play and it was making her mad. She asked me at what age they start listening and cleaning up. I told her that kids need to be taught how to clean up. It's not just a natural thing that they know how to do and he is in a different room and doesn't know where things go so it's easier for him to play. Once I started handing him toys and telling him where to put it, he started helping! Time outs are the same concept. You can't expect a child to remember why you put him there 3 mins later. You have to tell him when you put him there and tell him again when his time is done. Then tell him what he could have done instead. Will he remember that later down the line? No but with repetition and consistency he'll start to remember these thing. He's also having fun pushing your buttons!! My son goes through phases where he just acts up for days on end, pushing that fine line all the time. Then he goes back to the well behaved little boy I know he can be for a few weeks.

I really think redirection is a joke because when my friend's son body surfs across my coffee table and laughs when I tell him not to do that, I just want to snatch him up and toss him in time out for it! But at his daycare, they don't do that and he would be been redirected from laying on the table only to go back to it 2 seconds later thinking it was a fun game of chase.

Just stay positive and consistent!
S.

You could have him tell you what you just said.

You could say something like "it's time to wash your hands, do you want to do it yourself or should I help you?" And then follow through. Set up a consistent pattern of mom says = it happens and his listening ears will get better and better. It's more work for you to keep consistent, but it will pay off pretty quickly. You don't need to yell either, just follow through with having it happen by your assistance.

A good book is "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen", It was very applicable to my son at 4, and should be fairly useful to you now, and will have you prepped for the near future. (the techniques apply through high-school, IMHO).

Also, it may take a minute for him to process what he hears. Kids this age can't think as quickly or as efficiently as adults. They don't talk as clearly and they don't think as quickly. Just watch him for signs that he has or hasn't registered what you are saying.

oh - and with males, they often can think of one thing at a time. Be sure his attention isn't on something else when you're talking to him.

Hi T., he is in the early stages of three. Early developmental learning stages in life. So if he is in the restroom and needs to wash his hands after going, you should be there to assist and show him the right way to do it. I would think the trust and honesty wouldn't even come into play at this stage.

You don't express what he is not listening about, but as mentioned, these are very early stages of three and he should be guided at this time, rather than told what to do, even if he is capable.

Time outs are effective for some however not all children. Time out is meant to remove a privilege in a short interval, as in put a small jolt in the over abundance of energy they have. I don't know that reviewing their mistakes will be effective at this stage. Personally, I would just put him in time out for 3 minutes to stop the bad activity and then let him go again. It diverts him from the bad activity and when he gets back up, hopefully his focus is somewhere else.

At three, I think he just needs a lot of small activities to keep him busy, as they have a shorter attention span.

Best of luck.

Isn't 3 wonderful?

Our son was so sweet until 3, and then the battles really began.

We can get away with taking things away from him for now, but it's a temporary fix in most cases.

We're finding that reinforcing what he does well and making a concerted effort to do that abundantly more than correcting has helped somewhat. So, last night, when he poured the water into the dog's bowl without spilling, he got a lot of praise - simple things that encourage him to act better because it feels so much better than being scolded.

We asked him the other day to tell us what he liked best of these three punishment options: time outs, taking important things away, spanking his hand. He chose time outs - guess what he won't be getting? Not really an option if he prefers it in our opinion.