3 Year Old Prefers Daddy

There is a definite stage of development where the child is attached to one parent over the other. It's when his self image is taking on that person's traits and personality. He's learning to be a man and setting up his whole personality for the rest of his life. He's learning to be like his dad.

I'd feel bad too, sorry you're going through this.

It's a developmental stage.
My son started out with all me. Just me as I was a SAHM but it has
changed several times.
A big part of it is they identify with the "same sex" parent, another thing is
if the one parent is always gone at work all the time (like when you were
a SAHM), they get excited when the other one gets home.
Be glad he identifies w/dad.
Also, know he loves BOTH of you.
Try not to let it get to you. Tell yourself he loves both of you as he does.
It's just little child excitement that can't be contained.
I love what one poster said about Godiva vs. Ghiradelli chocolate. True.
Hang in there as he has the best of both worlds (mom & dad that love him) and he will go through phases. At least he has a mom to nuture & a dad to teach him certain things. (Just going back to traditional roles).

He's probably so secure in your love for him, that he knows he does not have strive for your attention and love.

M.:

With all you have going on in your life...you can't see the forest through the trees. Your son is THREE YEARS OLD....One minute he will want ONLY you...then he will want ONLY daddy.

it's NOT an attitude....it's his age. Stop taking it personally. Parenting is NOT about keeping score and who is more "wanted"....your son LOVES you. Don't think for a second he doesn't.....there will come a time when your son will be angry with you and tells you he "hates you" - trust me....that means you are doing your JOB!!! :) It's OKAY. He is allowed to have feelings...anger - love...etc.

Stay positive.

Parenting isn't a popularity contest. If your child adores Daddy, encourage and support the relationship. More than anything, that will show your love for the both of them and in turn you will be adored.

Little boys love their Daddy's. you should be happy.

Mine is almost 3, and he reached that point about a year or so ago, totally identifying with Daddy and choosing him over me. I do not take personally the whims of a toddler. I know my role and my goals with him. I know that he knows that I nurture and nourish him, so I choose to welcome the opportunities to get some other stuff done. He has moments when it's only Mommy. If it's really hurting your feelings--and not stinging a little--then I think that you are putting too much stock in his presence and dependence on you to make you happy. He might even feel a little pressure. You should be able to hold him when he's with you and release him when he's ready to walk away. It can be hard when we just love 'em so much.

I found these parents preferences painful too. In my experience though, they are not permanent.

Updated

I found these parents preferences painful too. In my experience though, they are not permanent.

It's normal for a child to show a preference, with my kids it went back and forth between husband and myself. Your little guy probably just is in the habit of being all over daddy. He's not making the connection that you went back to work and now he should spread the love more evenly. For some time, he was with you all day, then he was so excited to see daddy when daddy got home that he just wanted daddy then, and now he's used to that routine. It isn't an attitude and your preschool aged kid is not setting out to hurt you. A pattern was set and kids thrive on routine. He is not mature enough to think logically that now he has to even out his time with mom and dad or that he might be hurting your feelings. There's nothing that you should be doing, although I'd be interested to see what would happen if your husband got home with your son first, and you arrived afterward.

Look at this this way: It's fine for your son to prefer Daddy. Why? Because you and Daddy are on the *same side*. You're team members! You need to want your son to love Daddy just as Daddy needs to want his son to love you. Actually, your son loves you both.

The minds of three-year-olds are a little bit different from grown-up minds. They form very strong preferences, but those preferences change from time to time. Just as he may insist on having strawberry ice cream *every time* ice cream is offered, so he insists on having Daddy there when he can get him. It's strong right now, and it's going to change.

What can you do? Try to see the humor in it - that will help you view the situation realistically. Encourage your husband and your son to do things together, just as if you planned it that way. Above all, of course, you want to love your son's daddy. Tell him, "I'm so glad our boy has a dad like you to be obsessed with!" What your boy needs most is a mommy and daddy who actually love and encourage and back up one another. But you know that.

They go back and forth on this all the time.
It's very normal.
With our son I was the preferred parent for a long time.
But now he and Dad like to do Guy Stuff together especially when it comes to doing anything with tools and building/launching rockets.
Be the one to snuggle up and read to him all the time.
Your son loves you too.
It's just he expresses it differently for you than he does for Dad.
Be glad he's formed a close relationship with a caring parent and don't be jealous - he will switch back and forth between you.
Hopefully Dad always backs you up making sure that your son respects you.
If your son is giving you the cold shoulder with Dad being there, Dad should say "Hey! Mom could use a hug too!" and if son doesn't get it then Dad should give you a hug.
The favored parent should always be considerate so child learns how HE needs to be considerate too.

I think of it like this: I love chocolate. If someone offered me Godiva or Ghiradelli, I'd probably pick Godiva. But I still loooooove Ghiradelli. Your husband is Godiva and you are Ghiradelli... but your son still loves you both.

Don't take it personally, he's 3. This can change at any minute and you become the one he only wants. My kids always seem to want the one who isn't there and always go back and forth when we are home. Although they do pick favorites to put them to bed. Trust me, he still needs you!

When my son was five, we did a vacation photo shoot. I was heartbroken that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. He only wanted Daddy - it was a very prolonged phase that peaked that day - and so we have very few pictures of the two of us together. Now, at 9, he still loves Daddy like crazy, but he and I have a special bond that he doesn't have with his dad and that I don't have with his sister. There's just something about it that's different and we love spending time together. Most kids go through that, I think.