3 Year Old Napping Too Long at Daycare

See what the daycare's "bottom line" is here - is it okay if he takes no nap at all? Maybe it wouldn't be "hard on the teachers" if he could sit quietly and color while other kids are napping?

If you want him to take a nap, and this daycare can't handle putting him down and waking him up in an appropriate amount of time - you might need to find a different daycare that can.

My 3 year old cannot nap...most days she does not need it but if she does fall asleep she is up till 11pm. It drives me crazy. She is wide awake and wired. She has not napped since she was 2. I don't know what to suggest though for how they can wake him up. Make him sit in a chair and drink some juice perhaps?

I'm sorry, but whether my sons nap or not during the day does NOT change what time their parents decide bedtime is.

If you are so sure that the cause is this one nap (and I am seriously doubtful) - then take him out to play when he gets home and run some of that energy off him.

YOU are the parent. YOU decide bedtime. I'm sorry, I just don't think this has anything to do with the daycare.

My 3yo daughter doesn't nap at home on the weekends, but does take a 1 1/2- 2 hour nap at daycare. We don't really have much trouble getting her to sleep, though. In the afternoons when we get home, she runs outside for about an hour until dinner is ready. That wears her out pretty good.
To answer your question, I do think that you are being a little unreasonable to ask them to wake him before the other children. If he's not ready to wake up after an hour, then he obviously needs longer. I would just give it a little time for him to adjust to the new schedule. He'll probably be fine after a few weeks.

No good advice other than what people have given. Just want to say we had this issue to a degree and we have a nanny. It happened to us on weekends too.. It's just a tough age sometimes for some kids in terms of nap, no nap, stay up late etc. I'm pretty sure our kids were up until 9:30 or 10 plenty of nights. My oldest in particular. Just wanted to say it will end. Eventually sleep will normalize. Until then, I'd figure on not putting him down until 9 or 9:30 depending on how long his nap was. It'll mean you get very little time to yourself weekdays. Consolation is that even though I've always worked FT, my kids going to bed late means I still got several good hours with them every night. Part of me was jealous of the people who had kids goign to sleep at 7 or 7:30. Flip side was if the mom worked, they barely saw their kids all week. Mine are older now and I think the extra time I had with them evenings mattered. So you could look at it that way. Another trick you could try... is some melatonin at night. At his age, I'd start with 1/4 of a milligram. Maybe it'd help him get to sleep early enough that he's not tired at all at nap time and stays up with the kids who aren't napping either. I remember, btw, we'd have to wake ours from naps sometimes and it was really really hard. They'd cry etc. I can't imagine a daycare doing that in fairness to them. We'd have to sit and hold the child for 15 min or so while she cried. They can't do that for each child.

When went through this, as well. Our son did not need a nap, but he napped at daycare. Our two boys do share a bedroom. We put our older son to bed, hung out with our younger son for awhile and put him to bed a little later. We just decided that his bedtime would be later than his older brother's.

I guess I just look at it as one of the compromises you have to make when you have a child in daycare. The daycare has a schedule and a routine, and we needed to make it fit with our lives.

We enrolled our son in the PreK program at our school. He's in the afternoon class, so he only has to take a nap on the days there is not school :-) Any chance of doing something like that?

Hang in there! He'll be in kindergarten before you know it.

You may just have to move his bedtime later.

My DD had the same problem in daycare until there were finally enough kids who didn't nap and they would have a group of kids that could do quiet activities. The issue is that licensing does not require for kids to nap, but for the daycare to offer an opportunity to nap. If your child falls asleep the understanding is that he needs to nap (which wasn't true for us, DD usually fell asleep an hour into naptime because she was so bored).

We never found a good solution for this and ended up moving her bedtime to 9:00 PM and she would usually fall asleep by 10:00 PM. Since we worked full time as well it ended up working for us because we got to spend more time with DD in the evenings that way.

Good luck.

Does your three year old need a nap at all? The daycares here put the non-napping three year olds into an activity instead of a nap. I know my kids gave up naps well before they turned three, as did all of their friends, (as they went to afternoon pre-school at age three and there were no naps at pre-school). Try weaning him off of naps on the weekend first, then ask the daycare to stop putting him down for naps altogether.

I like the idea (below) of letting him play for the first hour of nap time and then having him nap the second hour. Otherwise, your only option is to keep him up later at night. Some kiddos just don't need a nap + early bedtime.

The daycare is not going to be able to do much more than the above suggestion. Waking up a heavily sleeping kiddo (when everyone else is still napping) is just too hard. It's not a reasonable request.

Did you ever stop to consider that he doesn't fall asleep at night because he's over tired? If he's falling asleep at nap time and can't be gotten up, for all intents and purposes, after 1 hour, then HE'S TIRED! I say move bedtime up and see what happens.

Also, you can try taking a long family walk after dinner to try to wear him out and get him ready to go to sleep.

My son was a napper until he was 7 yrs old.
They had nap time in kindergarten and he had a rough time in 1st grade when they didn't nap anymore but he still napped on weekends.
When he napped - he'd fall deeply asleep - enough to dream.
His teachers were amazed how deeply he slept.
And they also noticed how fast he was growing.
When he was 4 yrs old he shot up 4 inches (the growing pains were horrible - I had to replace his entire wardrobe 3 times that year).
His teachers said it actually seemed like he was taller after his naps - they said it was like watching him grow before their eyes.
He was always plenty tired by the time bedtime came around.

Your son wouldn't nap so long if he didn't need the sleep.
Once he's sleeping better at home he won't need to nap so long at daycare.
You have to do your best to run him around when you get him home so he's tired enough for bedtime.
Visit playgrounds, kick a ball around with him in the back yard, have him help rake leaves in the fall (jumping into leaf piles is always great fun), take a walk around the block, etc.
If you use a crockpot, supper's ready when you are.
Start your bedtime routine around 7:30pm and he should be in bed with lights out by 8:30 or 9pm.
Eventually the kids might need separate rooms.

Sounds like a catch 22.
Sunday night try putting him dow to be 30 mins sooner than your standard time. That could help shorten his nap at school.
Seperate the kids till they fll asleep. There are nights wehave to do that with our kids.

They need X amount of hrs of sleep every 24 hrs, if you can try and get more of it at night, it will be less during the day.

No worries about working, I have to as well. Good luck.

Strange - I had this problem when I had a nanny - but I discovered she held my child in her arms while she watched BayWatch from 3 - 4 every day. No wonder my baby wasn't falling asleep until 10-11 ever night!

This is going to become a cycle that you can't stop as his schedule gets more screwed up. I would be firm. Ask if they can move the rest time for your son to an earlier time (ie - if it starts at noon now, ask them to begin his time at 11.) maybe he won't be as tired and will wake up sooner. Or ask them to pick him up out of his cot/crib after an hour and sit him up on the floor against a big pillow or bring him into the older kids' room. or use a wet washcloth to wake him up. We all realize it's "hard on the teachers" but that's just a bummer - you pay for their services - they need to get him up. (just talking about naps is making me tired...)

I have children, and two hour naps at age 3 are not only normal and necessary, but I never saw them interfere with sleep at night. The only thing I did notice was that if we were more lax on bedtime, the kids went to bed later. The more strict we were (are) about bedtime, the earlier they go to bed.

You may have to change the room sharing situation, at least temporarily. I have allowed my son to sleep in the living room or our room in certain instances, just so everyone can get a good night's sleep. The interaction with your daughter may also be keeping him up, not the other way around. If no one is in the room, he will probably fall asleep.

If you really think your child is at the point he doesn't need a nap (which I don't, I think even most adults need naps, very healthy, wish I could!), then talk to his daycare and see what they do when kids are no longer napping. There has to be some way they can accommodate - not all kids nap.

Daycare routines are never quite the same as home ones, and we found that hard too. Daycare teachers will rarely wake a sleeping child (only if you are there to pick them up early).

As it was explained to me, daycares have set nap times, but if children woke on their own, our daycare would let them play quietly or read books with a teacher in another area so as not to disturb the sleeping children. But they didn't ever wake the children. Their policy was, if the child is sleeping, they need their rest.

Our daycare was much busier than my home so I understood that my kids were much more tired from all the activity. I would try to keep their routines fairly similar (as much as possible) at home to daycare, since they spent more time at daycare. So if they were not tired enough for a nap on weekends, I would give them some down time (stories, quiet activities) after lunch, to try and keep them in sync with their days at daycare. This made it a bit easier for the kids come Mondays. I also found they adjusted over a few weeks to a more reasonable bedtime. If they stayed up to late in the evenings, I often would wake them a bit earlier in the morning. It was definitely a juggling act with daycare and naps and bedtimes. Always was.

Talk to the daycare and hopefully they will be receptive. Our teachers always were with reasonable requests. They may be hesitant to wake him if they feel he will be cranky for the rest of the day, or overly tired and not engaged in activities. I'm sure if you discuss it or suggest he sleeps a shorter time, followed with quiet time (he may fall right back asleep though), they may be willing to try. Good luck, I hope it works out for you

I had this issue with my youngest, too. What I had to do was run him ragged when we got home. We would play outside (yes, even in the lovely 106degree heat) go on a walk, I'd ask him to show me how to jump on one foot, then the other, then we'd sing the ABC song while he ran in place, etc.
I got really creative. It helped him sit still for dinner and then after a bath and book, bed was not much of a problem.

I hated running him, just to run him, but he was tired at nap time and would crash out. I did tell them to wake him up at the end of nap time even if he was sleeping, because a couple of times he slept almost three - four hours!! No matter the running we did those nights, he was up pretty late.

The other option is you can adjust his bedtime routine by an hour.

good luck!

They aren't trying to wake him up after a hour of napping. He's asleep and it's 1 less child they have to worry about until he wakes up. Period. Let them know that since he's sleeping too long at daycare he's having sleeping issues at home. If they won't wake him after a hour then tell them not to put him down for a nap at all. He'll be cranky for the first week or so until he gets use to it but once his body adjusts he'll be ok and will fall asleep at the end of the day easily.

Could you clarify something? Does the daycare's napping period last longer than one hour? What is the official slot of time the daycare allots to naptimes? If they are allotting 90 minutes or two hours or whatever (not sure what is standard), the case may be that they cannot make exceptions and wake one child before the time is over, because it is too difficult to keep that child from then waking and distracting others during what is supposed to be everyone's quiet time. The teachers might use the naptime for other things they need to get done -- classroom preparation, getting the snack prepared and on the tables, getting the late-afternoon games set up, whatever. I would ask them what they mean when they say it "makes things difficult on his teachers" for them to wake him after one hour; I would bet that it means the teachers have other tasks to do in the assigned nap time. They cannot necessarily keep one child up and occupied and if they make an exception for him, they would have other parents start to ask the same thing and the naptime structure would fall apart. But...ask them for more details.

If the official nap period is just one hour, and they are letting kids sleep longer than that just because it's easy on the teachers that way -- well, they need to stop doing that.

Bear in mind, too, that this is a new place for him and he might be adjusting for a while.

I would consult with them about the issue of his being up at night since he started daycare naps. They might have had parents with the same issues in the past and the teachers could have some good insights for you on how to handle it.

What are they doing with the kids after nap time? Do the kids get a LOT of physical activity? It might help things if he is very, very active in the late afternoons.

If this really is a persistent problem that does not get worked out eventually you might have to switch to a day care that does not include a nap or has a much shorter nap period and/or has much more physical activity to wear kids out later in the day.

hard on the teachers?
to wake a toddler up?
huh.
since the nap time is 2 hours, i think i'd ask them if they could have him play quietly for the 1st hour, and lie down for the 2nd hour. it'll be easier on the poor baffled teachers to figure out how to wake him up if the other kids are up and moving.
i do think it's a good idea to have a quiet time. 3 year olds are still very small and do need a rest, even if they don't need sleep. but i question your 3 old's ability to do without a nap if he's sleeping that heavily when he gets one.
no judgements about work from me. i had to do it too. unfortunately you have to be really discerning about deal-breakers and daycares. for a good one, you often have to compromise.
good luck, mama!
khairete
S.

So how many kids and staff are there at this Daycare?
2) Where do the kids nap? Is there more than one room there? A nap room and another room?
3) If all the kids nap in 1 room, and there is no other room, then having a child wake and them having to wake a child (and he keeps going back to sleep and does not wake), IS hard on the staff and the other children. Because, they all are... being disrupted. ie: your son is not napping, only by himself in the room all to himself. There are other kids there too.
4) Then, per naps, and how many Teachers/Providers are there?- typically each Provider/Teacher has a "job" and a role. ie: some may be in charge of the nap room, hence they don't get lunch at that time. Or others may be in charge of doing other facility jobs/cleaning/prepping other things, etc. Hence, I cannot imagine that ALL the Staff, are ALL in that nap room all at the same time, just staring at the kids napping. The Staff, has things to do, too. Which also includes having lunch. Because per Laws, any employee/Staff, also has a lunch time too. Or breaks. And this is their right, too. As an Employee.
So, depending on their "schedule", then sure, it may be just too hard to keep trying to wake up a kid and keep him up.... and then, at the same time trying to maintain quiet... for ALL the other kids that are napping and not... waking them up, either.
5) And IF they manage to wake your son up after 1 hour and then KEEP him awake even if he doesn't want to...then where will he be, while awake? Do they have another room he can go to, AND be supervised? And not wake up all the other kids?

6) Your son is napping there. And sleeps, heavily. Hence he probably does need a nap.
And, how many Teachers does it take, or will it take, to wake up your son after 1 hour of nap? Being that, the Teachers also have a schedule too and a lunch time/prep time/break time, and they all probably take turns as Staff, to do this, per their Employment requirements. It is highly improbable, that during the nap time, that ALL the Teachers are just... hanging out doing nothing and just eating. Because at any given time, there still has to be supervision in the nap room. Too.
And sure, they need to adhere to licensing requirements. Too.

If your son, falls asleep after being woken up, then how do you expect the Teachers, to keep him awake?
And, if they do manage to keep him awake...then, will he be fussy and noisy after that? And then, if he is kept awake... who or what Teacher, will be with him to make sure he is kept awake for another hour? And how will that be done? And how will that assigned Teacher, who has to keep him awake, eat lunch herself or do other facility related tasks per her own job requirements, during this 1:00-3:00 time slot?
And is that fair, to the Teachers, as employees?

As an example: I work at my kids' school. Many Teachers of the Kindergarten kids, DO NOT even get to eat lunch themselves nor even go to the bathroom when they need to. Why? Because, some kids require such constant supervision due to neediness. And the Teachers go the entire day, without even having a lunch break. Even if, lunch time is an Employee's right and it is in their Employee Contract, and per union rules and school rules. But parents, don't know that nor care. They just want the Teachers to be with their child, all day. Even at lunch or at naps. Which Kindergarten aged kids, do have. But a Teacher cannot possibly, be customizing all of their time nor lunch time, nor job tasks or requirements, nor nap time, only for 1 child. Though they DO try.

Maybe you can get a Nanny for him.
That way, you can have your own schedule for your son.

As you said there are other kids there who don't nap at all. But that is not your son. Because your son is napping. And he does not stay awake. Even if they try to wake him.

Can you older child just sleep in the room by herself?
Does your son and daughter have to share a room?
An older girl, at some point, will need or want her own room.
And your son cannot keep to himself when/if he is awake. He, is waking your daughter.

I would call the daycare at a certain time every day and ask them to wake my son up. Tell them why you are disrupting them. You are tired of being disrupted at night because they let your child sleep too long. Maybe if they are disrupted by your phone call enough times, they will learn that they work for you, not the other way around.

Truthfully they can lose their license and be shut down if their licensing worker comes in and they have a child awake during nap time and they're not having him lay on his cot trying to get him to sleep.

They are not going to bend on this. If they want to stay in business they have to follow the state regulations.

Your sleep issues at home have nothing to do with them. They can't risk the repercussions.

That said.

If he's asleep and they can't wake him up then he's tired. He needs his nap. He also needs to keep his nap as long as possible because if he starts pre-K next fall they will make him lay down and take a nap too, they even take a nap in kindergarten until at least Christmas in a lot of places. If he isn't taking a nap at pre-K they can even make you come pick up your child after lunch so he isn't there during nap time. That would stink because then you have to take off work to go pick him up and take him to child care. They don't run the transportation during any part of the day except when all the schools are letting out.

I do feel your pain. I have one that stayed awake bouncing off the walls until a bit after 1am this morning. He played football and ran amok most of the day. His body just wasn't tired.

It stinks because I am tired this morning and have work to do myself today. I have a relative coming on Thursday and I need to deep clean, clean the carpets, etc...I am dragging butt today.

When it comes down to it the center has to follow the rules and regulations. You have to deal with your own sleep issues at home. They can't change nor should you expect them to risk their license to accommodate your problems at home.

I'd say just be patient and try to get him as active as possible before 7pm then it's quiet time all round. Bath, books, quiet activities like sitting by mom or dad watching TV with them, etc...

I used to lay down on the couch and my dad would sit by me. I'd lay my head on his leg and we'd watch Bonanza or something. He's rub my head and I'd be out before I knew it. If I do this with my grandson but am watching cops shows then of course he's not going to doze off. BUT if I'm watching OETA, the food network, extreme houses, or something quiet and boring for a kid then he often goes out quietly and quickly.

I know how hard it is when you're tired and want to go to bed. BUT it can't be anyone else's issue but yours at home. This business cannot and should not have to change their rules for his whole class and risk it all so your nighttime routine is easier.

Try going in the room and sitting by him instead of just sending them in there to go to bed on their own. You can sit there and read to him or something.

Stinks, but it will get better.

I use to run a large preschool in DFW area. By law we have to a lot a min of 1 hour rest time. The child does not have to sleep but they have to rest. The state recommends this through 6 years ago saying children up to that hour needs that rest time and recommend 2 hours. He does not have to fall asleep he can be offered quiet items on his mat (after 15 mind when others have fallen asleep) such as books. As long as he is not trouble to others it should not matter if he is awake or not. I COMPLETELY agree. It is VERY HARD to wake up a child who is tired and does not want to stay up. I have been there. That 2 hour break is the time the teachers use to clean toys, organize, do papers, have lunch etc. it is very and to have to spend an hour trying to keep your son awake when his body is wanting more rest.