3 Year Old Development

Relax. Perhaps you are pushing him a little too hard. At age three, his only concern should be what to play with next. Just because your son does not recite all of the numbers and letters at age three isn't necessary a reason for concern.

When my first child was about the same age, I was so concerned that she was learning too much. I was afraid that she would be bored if she knew too much when she entered school. So, I spoke to one of the kindergarten teachers in our school district. This is what he said to me....All kids develop at different paces. Some know their numbers, letters, shapes and colors. While others don't. Kids come into kindergarten at different levels. By the time they finish kindergarten, most, if not all, of the kids are at the same level and ready to move on to first grade......this made me feel much better.

My suggestion to you is this. Don't push him so much to know all of these basic skills. It will come in time. Keep reading to him and taking him places. When you read to him, he can see all the letters. Count lots of things to show him how many of something there are. Show him how exciting learning is for you without trying to drill it into his head. Make a game out of it. Another option that might be helpful is a preschool. He is getting all of this interaction from you and from his grandma. He would do well with interaction with other kids, without Mom or Grandma around. While at preschool, he may start to want to learn those basic skills after seeing other kids in the class who know them.

Good luck.

Real, quick, I see you have many response and I haven't had time to read any-we're just back from being out of town, but I had to tell you that my step sister has 12 kids who all developed at entirely different rates of speed. She is exceptional at math and about half of her kids are as well-her husband is artistic as are half the approx half the kids, but in all cases, they "evened out in their late teens" on the academics. One son who is now 19 has a learning disability, but it seemed behavioral until he was older-any normal family would have diagnosed him with some disorder and medicated him-thank god they didn't, he's thriving and got everything together by gae 11 or so with firm guidelines and extra attetnion. His academic learning was similar to others in the beginning, but remained slightly slpow as he grew. Also, some of the ones with the more "math and science" minds started reading later than the more artsy ones. My step sister home schools, and the program aknowledges that all kids develop at different times, and caters to that, so there isn't the need to compare milestones month by month between toatally differnet little humans.

I guess I'm saying "Sooner isn't Smarter". Many child prodigies are no brighter than their peers as adults.

Also three of my close friends have boys who barely talked at age three!! We're talking, hardly any words! My 18 month old daughter was talking circles around them at the time. TOTALLY NORMAL. They're all smart and doing fine in school at age 5.

Relax! You sound too smart for your own good! :) My girlfriend and I were discussing this weekend how the flaw of our generation's parenting (older parents who waited and pay total attention to their kids and love the whole process) is that we'll hover too much, while in the past, in harder times when parents were younger and didn't have the resources to obsess and read so much about kids milestones-everyone survived and the kids made their way. It will be OK! Great job with all you are offering to your son! Feel proud of yourself and enjoy!

Hi L. (I still owe you another email, I know). But I wanted to write not because I am qualified to assess your son, but to encourage you to do so by an objective professional.

I don't think there is anything wrong with him, but I think YOU will feel better if you know for sure, one way or the other. And if the worst is true and he is having some difficulty, early intervention will be so beneficial. And if he is just a dreamy 3 year old, then you will know and quit worrying.

Children are little empaths (ABCNews even ran a story on it a while back) and he may be sensing your concern. Or he may be testing his boundaries by not performing on command. My 2 year old skips numbers all the time, although she is younger than your son.

Have you asked your aunt for her professional opinion? (was thinking that maybe she is keeping quiet out of respect for your role as his mother).

Take a deep breath and don't panic. Get him evaluated and then take the next step, if there even is one!

Take care!

C.

You just described MY 3 year, 3 month old to a T!!! The only difference is, I am not worried! Kids learn in all different ways. I have found that whereas Evan does not say his ABC's in the right order, there are things he does that others do not. I also know that at a young age was pigeon-holed into a low math class due to my inability to memorize multiplication tables. Yet, I ended up with undergraduate degrees in Mathemaitcs and Biology and now a PhD in Microbiology. To me, this says that there are different kinds of learning, and really, school in the early years is important for a foundation, but in the end, high school and college are where education CONTENT really makes a difference. At 3, there is no way of knowing if a child is "bright" or "gifted", they are a kid and let them be a kid.

Wow....your email was very detailed. If you feel in your heart that something is wrong then have him tested. You have a master degree in school psychology so you know what resources are out there to get a definite answer if you son has a problem.

I think your son's development is normal. I have 2 girls, a 3 year old and a 4 year old. They both are learning very differently. The oldest loves to learn and be taught. She could sit there for hours with me teaching her. The youngest is totally different. She wants nothing to do with sitting down and learning therefore she doesn't know as many things as her sister did at her age. However, I do believe that she is just as smart and things will come to her in her own time. I am a firm believer that you don't want to push them and have them not enjoy learning. I'd rather they have a love of learning and curiousity then to be turning off at a young age. My 3 year old sounds like she knows just about as much as your son does and I think she's just fine!!!!
Hope this helps make you feel a little better!!
Good luck!

I read alot of the responses and yes not to worry! I am a jokester and don't mean any harm by it. When I read your concern all I could do was think - Does he watch Disney Playhouse Mickey Mouse clubhouse? If so, He may not say 6 or 7 because they say on the show "WHY is 6 afraid of 7? - Because 7 8(ate) 9!!!!! Just to make you laugh... I hope I did! No worries!!!!!! :-)

It sounds to me like your typically developing three year old will catch it when he is ready. Like all the other milestones that he was self motivated to achieve,he will learn academics. When he needs to read or count, he will. So many times we teach things because we feel pressure to keep up with the societal rush for mini adults and to meet the curriculum standards written by people who devalue the power of play and the importance of social and emotional development. It takes hours, months,weeks even years to teach something that a child is not developmentally ready to learn and minutes to teach the same concept when they are. Relax, it all evens out by third grade, no matter whether or not they were hooked on phonics at 2.
E.
(teacher.msed)

He's fine. Remember, when we were kids, they only expected you to finish learning your letters in kindergarten. Also, I second previous posters on the idea that some kids don't like to 'perform' skills for their parents, which doesn't mean they're not learning.

Personally I think he's too young for you to be so worried. Kids develop at different rates. All my kids were different. Give him some time to be a three year old. Kids have the tendency to do the opposite of what we expect, sometimes on purpose. Just because he doesn't seem academically inclined doesn't mean he will never be. Or maybe his talents are in other areas.

My most intelligent child is the one that resists pushing the most and seemed the slowest at first. She just has her own way of doing things and prefers to be left alone to develop at her own rate. She's not getting staight A's in school, but she could if she wanted to. I'm not worried.

This sounds very familiar to me because when my son was about the same age I went to our pediatrician with the same questions. I was always comparing him to our daughter who was very interested in learning. My doctor informed me that at age 3 kids don't need or should be learing those sorts of things. At this stage of the game it is mor about social skills. Now that he is in second grade he does very well in school. His grades are very high and he is reading well beyond his age and also his math skills. I would try and tell you to not worry so much and keep up the good work with him. I know it is hard not to worry about your kids.
L. R

Perhaps your son is developing his motor skills first. Maybe hes a doer not a thinker just yet. Remember, hes only three, theres no rule that says he has to do what everyone else around him is. Be patient would be my advice. You are aware of signs of delay, just keep an eye on him.

Some days I swear that being neurotic is what being a mom is all about ;) Now, it sounds like you are doing all the right things, but perhaps you can try mixing in some other approaches. My - very active - little guys love to sit and read books, but that's not how they're learning thir letters and numbers. That knowledge is coming from PBS (even though I really didn't want them to watch too much TV at their age). They love "Sesame Street" and a show called "Super Why" that is all about the power to read.

As an aside, one of my guys is clearly a kinesthetic learner, so he does better when he can run around and jump while thinking (I think that's why TV is a better learning medium for him than books are). If your son is also very active, it is possible that he is the same way (very bright and kinesthetic learner can be a detrimental combination if not addressed by appropriate teaching styles). Try looking for songs that he can sing while doing things - Ring around the Rosy, If You're Happy and You Know It, etc. - and adapt others as needed. My son can only sing the ABC song while running in circles. It looks so funny, but we've come to love him for it.

Just keep doing the right things, observing his growth, and most importantly, loving him like you do :)

Sounds like a delightful little guy with a wonderful family.

Here are my thoughts- sometimes the extra extra brillant types don't actually do well with rote type adecemics --Einstein for instance.

I think for a three year old boy his is right on target and at some point probably in the next year and half it will all click and he'll be reading you the encyclopedia. Boys do mature differently than girls and he is young.

I think exposure but not pushing is exactly the right recipe and i have to tell that i think you and your extended family are doing a fabulous job. One suggestion would be to use different mediums for teaching letters etc.I couldn't quite tell if you were doing tactile things like this.
---cutting letter from sand paper and having him, feel the letters, an alphabet puzzle to do etc are a few ways of learning the alphabet that isn't just singing the abcs. And he may actually know more than you think, like he might be able to put 6 plates on the table with out being about to count the words, one, two, three, four, five, six. and even if he can't I think he'll be fine.

Do you have the opportunity to observe him with kids his age- Like story time at the library?? I hate to tell you to compare him to other kids, but some times just seeing your child in a group can show you that he really is right on track or maybe he is a little different. If saying the alphabet and counting are really really your only concerns then i think you need to give him some time to mature, if there might be something else, then talk to your doctor about possible testing. I do think the earlier the better and usually mommies know deep in their hearts if there is something to be concerned about.
oh and another idea might be to call a preschool and ask what they expect the children to know when they enter, at the end of their first year, before kindergartne etc. just so you know what to shoot for.
Have fun with your little guy, he may not be off the charts but i bet you'll love him whether he is or isn't the next Rocket Scientist.

He is fine. He is three years old. I think that it is great your are concerned about how he is doing. If you are that concerned talk to his pediatrician. some kids develop at different stages and different levels. my son is talking more now than he was because he is around other children his age whereas before he was at home with his father who at the time was not working. now that my fiancee is back to work and he is at the babysitters house 3-4 days a week i see a vast improvement in his vocabulary. make sure he is around other children his age, this is also important for his development and he may pick up a few more things. do not worry so much and enjoy him while he is young.

Your son sounds fine!!! Relax!! My son is 2 1/2 and was kind of doing the same thing as far and counting here and there, he does not know any of the alphabet, and wasnt into singing songs. He stayed home with me for the first yer, and for the next year and a half my mother watched him. Same situation, reading to him, library time, flash cards, counting while going up steps, etc, etc, etc. However, just around a month ago he started daycare, that has a shceduled day. He recently has come home singing different songs!! Which I love!!!!!!!!!!!! He also can now count up to 13, where he was doing a scattered up to 10 before. And he will fill in some of the blanks with the alphabet as well. I really did not want to put my son in daycare, but i felt he was getting to the age where he needed different activities to do all throughout the day( more then my mother could provide) I don't know if maybe you could try putting him in some sort of preschool a few days a week. But like I said in the begining, I am sure your son is FINE!! Some are better developers then others in different areas.

I think you just described my son who is the same age as yours. He probably knows more than he feels like telling you at the moment. I was worried, but have been told not to yet. Is your son in a preschool/nursery class yet? Mine isn't and I attribute some of this lack of interest in alphabet and number learning to that. Most of his friends have parents who work. I don't and so I have chosen to just try and teach him a little on days he feels interested. He enjoys the foam numbers and letters in the bath. I can usually get him interested in repeating them then because he cannot run around and do much physical play in there.

TBPH, I wouldn't worry. I am well above the gifted range myself, as is my DH. My children do well in school, but are plagued with ADHD (not plaqued at all IMO). They see the world in a different manner then others, but have a concept of the universe and science that is well beyond their age. That is their gift. My oldest is 11 and wants to make films. My middle child is going to be 9 next month and has artistic talent out the wazoo. Every child has so many areas that they are gifted and some that they will be weak in. Einstein wasn't exactly known for his people skills, or social graces. In fact, it has therorized that he "suffered" from autusm. Not exactly what we would "expect" from someone of his level of I.Q.

In your own words you say "I am mommy of a sweet, affectionate, sensitive, rambunctious, inquisitive, and happy 3 year old boy". He is a young child who will show as he grows what he is gifted at. 3 is a bit young to get to worked up yet :_) Who knows? Maybe his counting pattern will change the academic world with a new and improved numeric system!

Hi L.,

My question is: What is the reason you are pushing your son so hard to be academically advanced?

Just wanted to know. D.

we always worry when our kids are not doing what everyone elses does. I think that he sounds very well adjusted .maybe he knows it all but he is bored by the repetition.Instead dont keep asking him to repeat.Just read to him and talk about all different subjects.He is bound to find something he cant get enough of.And as long as he is comprehending and speaking.Average children are very underrated.he could turn out to be brilliant or take after another relative who is creative .Just be thrilled he is happy, healthy,strong and loving.
That's alot of pressure for a 3 year old.
Lucky for my son,my husband and I were not overachievers growing up,(artists-thinking alittle more out of the box.)So i really didnt pay too much attention to how much he should learn at that early age.However he knew all his colors as well as silver and gold by 3.He is now 14 and is not at all interested in art.So all that color learning did not pay off.

Hi L., You need to relax!! Your son is 3 not 13!! You more than most should understand that children learn at their own pace...and they focus on what is important to them first! It is obvious that you and your family are blessed and your son is a very lucky little boy. Quit worrying over something you cannot control. You are giving him the best opportunities and it will pay off in the end if you relax and enjoy his childhood instead of worrying about if he can say his ABC's at age three! Does he know his full name? Does he know his address? Does he know his phone number? Children are little for such a short time...don't rush through these precious years worrying about bench markers that in the long run only look good on a college application...being brilliant is great, but being a happy, relaxed, well rounded person is better and lasts forever. Best wishes.

Hmmm. I would have to say that your son probably just isn't interested in the alphabet or numbers right now. He sounds very intelligent, and like a quick learner in every other area. He might take an interest in the other things when he starts pre-school and sees the other kids who can recite the alphabet- that may give him motivation to want to learn his letters. He seems to do very well with things he is interested in, so I wouldn't worry just yet. Maybe the fact that he sees the alphabet all of the time sort of has him bored with the letters?? I am not sure, but I certainly wouldn't be worried about his development just yet. I knew many brilliant, super smart people in school that got awful grades until the school realized they were just bored with certain subjects. Once they got into accellerated learning programs they really soared achademically. It seems like your son might be one of these! (that's a good thing!)

Hi L.,

I had girls and they have all been very verbal, so my life th children is different from life with boys. . . .however, what I am wondering is what your child is good at ? You seem so worried about him learning now what he would normally learn in kindergarten, that I want to know what he excels at. Does he play with legos ? Does he build things? When he builds things, does he leave gaps in his towers so they fall over ? probably not -- I think he doesn't WANT to be drilled to death on his numbers or his letters. He loves to read, and look at books, and that's incredibly verbal.

Try not to CRAM knowledge into him. Ask him open ended questions, listen to HIS sense of wonder in the world, and respond to it with more questions, then together find the answers. Children at ages 3 and 4 are amazingly brilliant -- almost all of them. It's not a matter of stuffing knowlege into them, it's a matter of listening to their sense of wonder about the world and joining them in the adventure of discovery -- finding the answers, wondering more deeply, chasing new questions. Just get out of the books (I say this as someone who also has a masters degree) and get on your knees -- eye level to your son. Together explore how God put a closer together, how the bugs move on the ground. Find worms and hold them, watch them move. The world is an incredible place and what he wonders about, can be learned about some more in the library.

when he lands in kindergarten, he's gonna be with 20 kids who all KNOW their ABC's, and their numbers. Do you think he's going to have any trouble at all memorizing the few he omits on purpose ?

My youngest nephew didn't TALK at all until he was about 3 1/2, maybe 4. My sister teaches pediatric nursing, and she discussed it with his pediatrician, who noted that the little guy had created a whole language of gestures that obviously substituted for verbal language. He also had a supply of 4 older siblings who understood his language and gave him whatever he asked for . . . so he didn't need words. But every once in a while he'd mutter a word under his breath and everyone would say, "What did you say? Say it again! I think he's talking !" and he's just smile at them, and enjoy the attention. I think when he finally decided to talk, he started with sentences.

:-) the biggest gift you can give your son is to ENJOY him -- especially at this age, before he goes to school and begins his "formal socialization" when so many kids' lose that spark of wonder they previously had. Delight in his discoveries, and take pride in spouting your own 3 and 4 letter vocabulary, sprinkled with 4 and 5 syllable words .. . (as opposed to the opposite). When you're home, truly enjoy living at his intellectual level, and learn from it. It's totally amazing how much we can learn from our children, if we are listening.

And have a wonderful journey with him. No doubt he is brilliant -- but he doesn't NEED to be brilliant yet. Right now he needs to be grounded. The wings come later. And when the wings come, the challenge isn't one of keeping up, it's one of letting go, and allowing him the freedom to not just fly, but to soar .. . . :-)

HI L.,
I was wondering if he is going to be starting pre-school this fall? Sometimes kids really take off in that environment.

Also, you are most likely aware (from your background) that kids often develop O. strength at at time. For example, my son (now 6) was very verbal, a very early talker, reader and had colors, numbers and the alphabet down pat early. However, the physical coordination came a little later--he walked a little later and still does not have the physical prowess of some of his baseball and soccer peers.

If I were you, I would give him a little more time, maybe get him into a half day pre-school in the fall. O. other shred of advice, I know with my son, he was always MORE interested in learning when I was more laid back about it--you know, not drilling him all the time (not that I'm saying you do-but I know these are issues that cause us to ask, from the stove "Hey Michael, count from 1 to 10 for me!") LOL

He will most likely be just fine. They say that early learners and later learners all level out between K and 1st grade. Not that it's still NOT good to encourage the skills now, but I believe it's not as a HUGE MUST-DO as moms think it is.....
Good luck to you (and your son!).

First, take a deep breath. He is only 3. I think you should get him evaluated for your own piece of mind, but I think you will discover he is perfectly fine. I think he just isn't interested in memorizing the alphabet & counting. I read a study recently that said memorizing the alphabet is a completely useless skill. It in no way indicates a child's future reading ability. You should focus instead on getting him to recognize his letters (in any order). Also, remember a few decades ago we didn't even have preschool programs. Kids didn't start learning letters & numbers until kindergarten or first grade. We expect a lot of our 3 year olds now & some just aren't ready for it. It does not mean he will be behind anyone else in the long run.
If you are still concerned here are some other ways to introduce these concepts. My son loves his Melissa & Doug letter & number puzzles (purchased at toys r us). He has learned to recognize some of his letters & numbers using just these puzzles.
When my brother was little, he had no interest in learning this stuff either. He was completely facinated by cars. So, my mother used cars to teach him his numbers & colors. They often played "lets count how many cars you have".
Your son may also be more interested in why numbers & letters are important. You may want to start introducing addition, subtraction & reading to him. He may then find letters & numbers more interesting. For example, when he is playing with blocks: you have four blocks here, what happens if we add two? Now we have six blocks. When reading stories point out small words and say; look these letters spell a word. This word is cat. Do you know what sound a cat makes? If he knows why we use letters & numbers he may be more interested in learning about them.
Good luck.

L., HE IS FINE!!!!
One day he will be reciting the letters and numbers in order and you won't even realize he's doing it!!! The fact that he knows some already is proof that he'll get it when he's ready! I won't belabor my reassurance. Try to relax!

Good Morning L.,
'VERY BRIGHT CHILDREN ARE odd" . they DO NOT DO THINGS like other children . your parents should have a great knowledge of this .......[ I bet they forgot]
I raised 2 of the brightest children in the school district ..... grew up dr, oncology .
I had NO clue just how bright they were .
especially when they were 2 to 4 years old .
they were just ' different'
they were not like cousins, neighbors etc ...
yes, L.. I actually took my oldest to a specalist for testing for fear of ' LACK OF DEVELOPEMENT'
The dr. stated ,' they all catch up by age 3 ' if not they go into 2 catagories
a- slow learner
b- very fast learner , thinker , gifted ..
the dr. was correct ...
It was at this time I understood how intelligent my child. were .
as I look back ; they did odd things ...
speech was perfect [ never wawa for water etc]
medically inclined ; always aware of chemistry etc [ I had no clue .. this is 35 years later]
reading = I believed all kids just read all the time ?????before grade one ?henceforth, they LACKED in skills such as; ART, social,[now they were very poliet and charming, not chatty] sports,could not do a puzzel or legos , etc .

they had superior fine motor skills.
L.,
simply really watch your child play . just watch .. what is he LOVE"N ? this is his passion , his gift , his wealth of info will flow ... I PROMISE .
ps= bring all you ' x-smart' people down to toddler age ... you forgot he is a baby !!!!!!!!!!!
gifted children are just odd [ the nerds ]
it gets worse as they age [ they get smarter] so you see ... all of you adults can not see through the trees ....
' sit back and do not interfere and watch him play , he will show you his gift'
mom of 2 dr.

My mother was is a nurse. And I grew up with a mom who worried that every cold was pneumonia, every headache was a brain tumor, and every dirty dish was a potential biohazard! lol! It is possible for us to know "too much" and try to read every little, natural thing as a "what could this be?" syndrome?

I have been a teacher for nearly 20 years, and raised 3 kids and have a stepson, 2 are young adults and 2 are still teens. 3 out of the 4 have special needs and I have worked throughout my teaching career with special needs children. And you are NOT describing anything in your three year old that would alarm me in the least. He is a BOY and he is THREE, and that is all. He is not interested yet, finds no purpose in knowing what letters and numbers mean, and has too many other things to discover about how the world works to care.

There is a reason why algebra is taught in junior high and high school, and not elementary school. That reason is not so much that the math is so hard, but because children developmentally cannot grasp the abstract concepts associated with algebra. It has no bearing on the fact that when they HAVE reached that developmental milestone, they will be able to learn algebra. Children reach those developmental milestones at their own pace, and it doesn't mean that anything is WRONG with him if he meets them later than another child.

When I started teaching, 19 years ago, no one ever anticipated a child learning their letters or numbers at age 3. I think the idea that children SHOULD know these things by age three is a pretty new concept, certainly since my kids were that age. Is there a practical purpose for a 3 year old knowing these things?

Letters and numbers are actually symbols that STAND for an abstract concepts, and that is a hard one for kids to grasp sometimes. Think about it. When a kid is 3, a key is a key is a key. It opens things and turns things on, and no matter which way you turn it (up, down, left, right), it is still a key. Suddenly, we introduce a letter b, and we say it represents a particular sound. That's all fine and good, but if you turn it over, it isn't a b any more, its a d, or p, q. That is very illogical to a child, and many intelligent children recognize this incongruency and reject it. They might not have the vocabulary to say to us, "Mom, that is illogical, and anyway, I don't have any reason to know this right now. It doesn't apply to my life in any way, so let me alone to play with my tangible things that DO have a purpose." But that is what he is actually doing.

Sometimes we are too quick to label a kid with a learning disability when what is actually going on is that they are confused by the illogical nature of what we are trying to present to them. In many cases, it is just further brain development that helps them accept the abstract, therefore, many children are what some would call, "late bloomers" While some children learn to read around age 5-7, some children don't "get it" until age 10-12. We would call them learning disabled, but actually, they are not at all. It is kind of arbitrary to say that a child SHOULD know how to read by age 8 anyway. It is a cultural norm that we generally accept, that is all.

So, keep being the amazing mom you are, and relax. Your son sounds wonderful. Enjoy him and his unique development and celebrate that he is who he is, and that he is yours. He will learn all he needs to know when he is both developmentally ready AND when his world produces a purpose for that knowledge.

Hope that helps,
L.

Dear L.-
I work in a Christian preschool and we have often discussed the amount of pressure on these little guys to excel at such a young age. I too focused on academic excellence with my daughter from a very young age and had this image of who she would be with all my involvement, time, coaching, and nudging. Over time it became clear she is brilliant, but did not fit the image of the person i thought she'd be. She's smart, but wants to express it and use her talents and abilities in her own way.
My advice- love him, have fun with him, teach him ALL the things that matter, and let him excel in his way. The years will go by and what will matter most is setting strong values, love, and kindness.

Hi, I'm way behind on answering this question, but I just wanted to point out one thing that seemed to jump out at me.

Most of the famously intelligent people (Einstein, etc) actually came from families with poor or little education, or families that certainly were not focusing on educating their kids at the same level we new moms focus. So you and your husband's abilities may not have as big of an effect on your son as you hope, or assumed.

Also, the only other thing I thought of was that even though your family tests high on your abilities - most of you actually have rather different things you excel in... your mother's reading skills, your FIL's physics skills, your husband's math skills, and your skills with human behaviors are all very different... they invoke different types of learning and development... so your son may excel at one or none of these things - but perhaps something altogether different.

Enjoy the silly preschool behavior now, because someday he will be really smart and then trying to fool you to get what he wants... haha!

Hi -

I will be gentle! Just Love on him. Keep reading to him and be a little less serious about it - I know it can be tough. Sing continuously the abcs and count out loud. They usually get it by repetition. Play games like 1,2 and ..let him fill in the blanks....They love it - get the fun table place mats with the letters and names of things that have the letter sound and on the other side has numbers. He could be playing a game with you - Good Luck and God Bless.

relax and take a deep breath.

Boys do develop little bit slowly also.

Your expectations are too high, calm down he'll be fine. Just cause you and your hubby are smart, doesnt mean he will be and you don't want to pressure him already now do you?

More important is that socially he is able to get along with other kids.

When he is in Kindergarten at the end he needs to know how to count and abc's.

L.,
Relax. Enjoy your son. He sounds just delightful, and it sounds like he has lots of love and all the proper "stimulation"! At this age, don't worry about "academics" (he's only 3, for goodness sake!), just continue doing what you're doing and love him. Sounds like you have a good balance. He's his own person, and may not be as brilliant as his father, but that's OK. There's the potential for him to always have that slight pressure going on, to be in the shadow of a brilliant family member (like kids of ministers, kids of artists, etc.), and the best thing you can give him is a sense of himself as an independent person. My father (minister, professor) made it clear that he was absolutely delighted that each of his 5 children pursued different professions and that he could learn new and interesting things from us. So give him a similar gift with your love.
Best of luck,
L.

Hi L.,
Stop worrying. His gene pool is great and it sounds like he comes from a family of high achievers. FYI.. rote memory is not a sign of overall intelligence. Just keep doing what you are doing... enriching his environment and read, read, read to him. Just a tip, since the day I brought my kids home from the hospital I never went up the stairs with out counting them as we went up / down. I also used to sing the Days of the Week song and the Months of the Year song etc. One last note - Check out the book "How to Raise a Brighter Child" It is based on Dr. Montessori philosophy of teaching...(Montessori Schools came out of this) Great Book!

I think you just need to take a deep breath and relax. Who knows if your son will be "brillant" later in life, but now he sounds perfectly normal. He already knows alot, and will learn quickly and enthusiastically when he is ready - which is different for every child.

He may be smart enough to know that you want him to recite the numbers and letters back that way and may be doing it just to test you. It sounds like he is smart enough and probably knows all those things already. Boys are a little slower with learning and maturity.

L.,

I agree with the other moms...relax. :-) He's probably soaking it all up and will one day surprise you with how much he's absorbed without you realizing it. I have 4 year old twins and my daughter does not like to "perform" academically. What I mean by that is that she does not like to be put on the spot and asked what something is while she's learning. But, once she starts to feel comfortable with it, I find that she's learned all of it just fine, but does much of it on her own before she lets us in on her secret.

For example, for months I tried teaching them to count to 100. Her brother (the "hey, look what I can do" kid), no problem. She, on the other hand, would start saying "I can't!" after 16 or 17 and get upset. I'd always let it be, but reinforced the concept in other ways..."Let's march" and count as we marched, counting how many times they swung, etc, making up games based on what they wanted to do. One day, they start pulling out soda cans from a cooler and lining them up on the picnic table. First, she was saying things like "2 green cans", then while I was sitting there reading a book, I heard her counting..to 35...without help.

If you want a suggestion for DVDs, try the Leapfrog series starting with Letter Factory. Just be prepared to hear "Oooga, wooga, works every time" a lot! Oh, and the Disney Learning 1-2-3s with Winnie the Pooh. I've found that sometimes they learn better without Mommy "teaching"... Mommy acting silly and roleplaying with them from their learning DVDs is a lot more fun for them.

I have no doubt that in a year or two, you'll be more concerned with how all you brilliant adults are going to keep up with him. :-)))