3 Year Old Acting Out and Refusing Potty at Daycare

perhaps the divorce is not being handled as well as you think. many children "act out" for attention. Or, they see that it makes their parents talk and they want that more than anything. Many children feel responsible for the break up and act out in different ways. Children are not as resilient as everyone thinks. Their little lives are torn apart, their security is gone.... it takes a while to adjust and accept. The 5 year old is perhaps more understanding, or just handling in a different way. Reassurance that it is not his fault, and how much you love him and are proud of him.

I have to wonder if this is just an attention-getting action? Maybe he is not reacting well to the divorce and changing households every week. Unfortunately, I do not have any suggestions and hope some other moms in similar situations respond.
Try spending more time with him, engaging him in some fun "mommy and me time" and maybe he won't feel the need to grab attention at daycare.

Is he still using the potty at home? If so, I would ask him and see if I could get an answer as to why he has all the sudden decided that he doesn't want to use it. Did something happen? Is it nasty looking? ?????? There has to be a reason.
Good luck.

Hmmm, there must be a reason that he prefers to wet his pants at daycare because that is not a good feeling and he doesn't do it at home. I would try to talk to him about daycare more and find out what it going on or what changed. Perhaps another kid made fun of him in the bathroom, or (and I hate to even put this out there, but things like this do happen in the real world) an adult touched him inappropriately when helping him. Maybe he would talk to a doll, action figure, or puppet instead of you or a family friend.

The other thing I would do is maybe take him to his pediatrician. At that age my son developed a burning sensation when he peed and held it in until it was too late. The doctor said he had a build up of Vitamin C residue. We had to get him to drink water and encourage him to pee more and cut back on the Vitamin C to get that residue out of there and solve the problem. I was feeding him some all natural fruit frozen treats and I cut those out and that helped. That and other sources of Vitamin C were just too much for him on a daily basis.

Good luck.

My 3 year old daughter had a rough fall in regard to behavior...naughty at home and at daycare, including wetting her pants during the day. All of us who care for her stayed as consistent and patient as possible, praising appropriate behaviors and using time out for the inappropriate, and when she turned 3.5, it was as if everything "clicked" and many of the behaviors disappeared. It may be a simple as that. I was at my wit's end, but she really did grow out of the stage.

It's a stage. Don't worry. He may get through it before you've read this message. 3 year old boys love to push the limits and see what happens. Be patient but tell him it's not acceptable. Give him a scolding and a timeout. Once he's potty trained then deliberate messes are bad behavior and it's o.k. to dicipline him. He's testing you. Set limits.

I went through this with my son a couple of months ago. It's got nothing to do with your divorce.

My son backslid in his potty training too. He either wouldn't make it in time to urinate in the potty or would hold the other until it was difficult to pass his stool. He was probably about the same age. My sister's oldest boy withheld too.

Look at other things in his life too. Perhaps he is acting out in response to recent changes or events. Did something happen at daycare that would cause his behavior? Does he do this at home too? How long have you divorced? Did the custody arrangement recently change? I have thought that every-other-week custody arrangements would be hard on children. (strictly my opinion) Is it working as well for them as for you and dad?

Just my thoughts. I hope they help.