3 1/2 Year Old to Listen

Very normal behavior..

When you speak with her, do not yell across the house. Go to her...
Say her name and tell her

Sally, look at me and listen with your ears.. In 3 minutes, you will begin to put your toys away, so you can get ready for lunch...

Or you can say. Sally, listen to my words.. You need to put all of your toys back in the toy box. Tell me w,hat I just said.

Mom,do this over and over, eventually, it will become aural for her to look and listen to you..

Thank her for doing as she was told. Compliment how well she followed directions..

It's important to teach her to share and teach her to look at you when you are talking to her. But it is equally important for you to know that what she is doing it very age appropriate.

Hey, she's 3 1/2. It's what they do.

Perfectly normal 3.5 behavior! My amazing listener of a son is starting to show his 3.5 year old self. I'm not liking it much!

You have to go touch them when you talk to them, and make sure they look you in the eye.

Now is the time to really start using TOs for inappropriate behavior.

Tap your chin two times quickly when you want your daughter to focus on you and what you're saying, and teach her to look at you when you need her to focus.
Encourage her to use her words and not grab. Teach her to ask nicely for things and to wait her turn. Have her give the item back when she has grabbed it, she loses out.
Put her in timeout away from the rest of you when she grabs or pushes (but where she can still see you and see what she is missing out on) whenever she acts out. Timeout doesn't start until she is sitting in her spot quietly. If she refuses to do it nicely she goes to her room until she's ready to do it, then does it. Tell her you love her afterwards, but you didn't like her behavior, and have her apologize to whomever she offended.

Be consistent, you slack off she'll learn it isn't important to change her behavior. At 3.5 a child is able to learn she doesn't always get or demand her way. And hang in there, she won't change overnight.

Yep - completely normal.
Don't assume she hears you just because you are talking.
When they are playing they tune out the world.
I found if I got my son's attention, have him look at my face when I was trying to tell him something, say what I wanted to say, then have him repeat what I just said - the listening problem was solved.

As your younger one gets more mobile, there will be clashes.
Try not to have them together all the time - will the younger still play in her playpen for awhile?
No pushing/pulling/hitting/kicking allowed.
And have them play with their own toys - try working more on sharing in about 6 months.
Keeping hands to herself is something they are still working on in kindergarten so it'll be awhile yet before she has that down.

some kids never want to share with a sibling. I hope you get good advice. I never liked sharing with my sib....
you cant pick your family or make them like you.

A 3 year old brain is not wired to listen. It is wired to learn and explore.

It is vital to remove your emotions from the discipline equation. Get the book 1-2-3 Magic.

Why exactly do we teach children to share? What is the purpose?

Small children do not think like adults. They do not have the same level of experience an adult has. Their brains are very concrete and they do not grasp abstract ideas such as sharing.

Children are not manipulative, that is an abstract idea, they do, however, do whatever will work to get their needs met. Again, they are about concrete thinking: if they want something they take it, if they are busy doing something they concentrate only on that one thing, if they are tired, hungry, or upset they will openly express it without understanding the effect this has on other people.

Understanding child development can really relieve parenting stresses and help create a harmonious relationship with your children.

Expectations are the road to hell. Having expectations about how your child should behave will set you up for disappointment every time. Too often we come up with this unconscious list of ways a child should be behaving and then we get angry, frustrated, fearful, or disappointed when reality happens. Instead, gather lots of information about child development and discipline and then make choices with the reality that shows up at any moment in time.

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