3 1/2 Year Old Little Girl Dribbles and Never Makes It to the Potty Dry...

My daughter is 3 1/2 also and sounds very similar in terms of potty behavior. She has been potty trained for a year. But, she also has slightly wet undies fairly regularly. She seems to leak a little. She generally stays dry at nap time (unless she sleeps longer than usual) and is not at all night time trained.

I believe this is just physical maturity and every child is different in their pace. I can tell that my daughter is slowly staying totally dry more often, so I figure it's just a matter of letting her get older. As for nighttime, almost all of my daughter's friends her age are still in pullups at night.

If there is more to it than you have described in your email, then perhaps a thorough medical exam is warranted, but what you have told us sounds pretty normal to me.

Good luck and best wishes.

Hi J.:
Below, I added an explaination,concerning toddlers,and bladder control. Its my thought,that your reading more into this,than there is.There are many toddlers, slower in their maturity to control their bladder. A doctor doesn't even consider wetting a Problem,until a child reaches 11 or 12. Alot of times, children can experience relapses. This can be created,by Moving residence,break ups,or any number of changes in their life.If she is petite in size(having a small bladder,and is a deep sleeper, this will slow her progress as well. I would be patient,and give your daughter the time she needs to develop.I wish you and your toddler the best.

In the infant, urination/voiding/micturition is purely a local reflex centered in the lower portion of the spinal cord. In infants two years old and under, involuntary voiding occurs whenever the bladder is sufficiently full. This results in stretch receptors in the urinary bladder wall transmitting impulses to a special area in the spinal cord known as the sacral micturition center. The sacral micturition center responds by causing detrusor muscle contraction of the bladder.

Between the ages of 2 and 3 as the child's nerves, muscle and brain mature, a special area in the brain gradually develops. Simultaneously, the development of special nerve pathways to that center allows the child to detect a sensation of bladder fullness.

The next stage in the child's maturity occurs when the area in the lower part of the brain, known as the pontine micturition center, develops enough to coordinate sphincter relaxation during voiding.

During the last stage of development, the young child learns conscious bladder control , and during toilet training, develops the ability to inhibit the bladder center in the lower spine (back). Continence during sleep results from the unconscious inhibition of detrusor muscle contraction by an area in the brain known as the basal ganglia).

You trained her too early instead of waiting until she was ready. Now you are dealing with the consequences. You don't need a doctor to tell you that her system is not ready.

Some kids are slow! My daughter was the same way, and now she is a first grade school teacher! She'll get over it!
:)

Your daughter is quite young, to be expected to be COMPLETELY dry all the time and having to have her toileting perfect.

As for night time... night-time control and nap-time control is not attained at this age. It is not fully developed and attained until about 5-7 years old. Night time "control" and dryness... is a whole other issue. It has nothing to do with day-time dryness/control/toileting. These are 2 DIFFERENT abilities.

To me, you daughter's situation is not alarming, nor abnormal. Just the 'expectations' on her, are not in sync with her age nor development or biological/physiological abilities.

Believe me, at this young an age... having wetness and accidents anytime of day or night, is normal. Even Preschool Teacher's will tell you that. Even Kindergarten age children can have accidents day or night. My daughter is 6 years old... and she still has an occasional accident at night. NO biggie. When she was 5 years old, she still dribbled a little in her pantie before actually getting onto the toilet... mainly because she waits until its too late.. ..and she wants to keep playing. But it's no biggie.

Toileting accidents WILL happen... even at an older age. This is a given. Your daughter is young, and it will happen. Sometimes too, if they feel stress about it or pressure, they get more anxious about it. My daughter would sometimes fret about it, if she had an accident...but I had to assure her, that it was NO BIG DEAL. And that Mommy does not expect her to be perfect, and I did not want her to be embarrassed/self conscious/anxious/worried about it. And I also told her that ALL kids have accidents. No big deal. Whenever my girl felt "stressed" or if we put too much focus on her pee-accidents... she got even more upset or stressed. So....the thing is, just let them feel okay....and that you understand and that when they are older... it will fall into place. Naturally.

The thing is... toileting for day or night... is a progression, and it also goes backwards sometimes. No biggie. It's just part of a child's life.

For night-time... I did not like pull-ups because it leaks. So we used night-time diapers... which was more practical.

Don't worry. Your girl is fine.
All the best,
Susan

I think this is very normal, especially in boys. Our pediatrician told us that they don't worry about kids (especially boys) staying dry while they're sleeping until age 6--many kids are such deep sleepers and/or have underdeveloped bladders (to hold it for so long, like at nighttime).

I'm surprised that your pediatrician is sending you to a specialist, but maybe that's because of the history with your niece?

:-) D.

I have a similar problem and I firmly do not believe it was because we potty trained her too early. She has been potty trained for a year now and is just over 3 1/2. She has always had occasional accidents at home and at preschool, but in the last month or 2 has had more frequent issues of leaking during the day and is very difficult to convince to actually go sit on the potty when she feels anything, or even when she leaks. She wakes up dry typically and sleeps in regular panties, so it's not even a nighttime issue, just daytime. I thought it was just that she gets too busy playing and doesn't want to stop to go, but lately it's just been leaking and not a full wetting. Then when I take her to sit on the potty when she leaks, nothing else comes out. In fact, she really doesn't have many full pees throughout the day and I try to keep her hydrated. Did you end up getting medical advice and was there anything to it? I can't decide if it's physical or just defiance!