3 1/2 Year Old Having Trouble at Day Care

He is in a new environment with new people and kids his age. It may take him a little bit to get used to it. Keep addressing the hitting with him. You may have to reward him for good behavior at the end of the week. I know some parents don't like this concept but it works sometimes. My cousin rewards her daughter with French fry Friday. Every Friday if she is good at school she will get French fries. If she doesn't behave no French fries. She misbehaved one week and didn't get her fries and she was very unhappy. She was good after that. Good Luck!!!!

Sounds like he is not used to being around a group of kids. He needs the exposure and will have to learn how to behave. Our toddler was like that when he was only around family. I thought he was well behaved, ha. He was a monster around other kids. Now at age 3.5 he is finally better and knows not to hit, etc. He understands boundaries and personal space, at a basic level.
It was preschool that helped him a lot! And, he won't nap at home and was a terror at times, but he always naps there or at least is quite for 2 hours. Now he is a happy guy most of the time!

You kind of buried the most serious thing -- he is hitting. How much? Which kids? Or adults only? What is the situation when he hits -- is it when he has to switch activities and doesn't want to? Is it when he is tired near the end of the day? You need to have a LONG and detailed talk with not just the director but every classroom teacher who deals with him. Hitting can get a child kicked out of a daycare or preschool and you need to know when and under what circumstances he seems likeliest to hit.

What is the daycare's reaction? How do they intervene? Do they make him apologize to the person who was hit and then give him this "cozy corner" which he will not connect with discipline so it won't change his actions? Has the daycare learned to foresee when he's in a situation where he's likely to hit, so they can remove him from those situations and stop it before it starts?

Please focus on the hitting first. He must get past that and he won't if they just gently say, "Oh, don't" and "go to the cozy corner" which is likely a reward in his mind.

Yes, your son should have been corrected swiftly enough that he didn't get as far as standing on a table, which makes me wonder how closely supervised the kids are in the nap time. Is this time also considered "break time" for some of the staff? They may have too few adults in the room.

By his age, most kids are done with naps, period. I am surprised they expect the kids his age to be still and quiet for two solid hours. Does this day care have a mixed-age group, where your son and children his age are expected to have this long nap period because younger kids, who do still need naps, are napping at that time? The daycare should have enough staff, and enough facilities, that it can separate these older kids and have them doing something much more constructive during the younger kids' nap times.

I might reconsider the daycare if they are lumping all age groups together. He should spend his time with peers around the same age.

Please tell the director you're "taking back" your suggestion that she "keep him in" from outdoor play as discipline. This would only make him much MORE likely to act up, be restless and climb around! He needs to be burning off energy, not being held down in the name of an enforce nap time that does not really apply to him. If he would not be napping each day at home, why would he nap at daycare where things are so interesting and there are so many kids and adults to react to him?

He also is getting used to following directions from adults who are not you or his dad. That is a critical skill for a child to learn before starting kindergarten, so it's better for him to act out and get corrected, and learn to function in a group, now -- rather than when he's five and in K.

I really would get him into a daycare where he is not expected to nap, and there is much more proactive provision of things for kids his age to be doing. You say he's very active so this may be a daycare that is too mellow for him, or has too many kids of mixed ages all together.

Depending on your work schedules and needs, is there any way he can go to a preschool, maybe four days a week for three hours or so each day, rather than a full-time day care? He may do better in a more structured setting where kids are engaged every minute because they're in a preschool curriculum, not just a daycare. Some daycares claim they do "preschool" but they don't come near what a preschool really offers. Look for a place where the staff are trained in child education and development.

Your son should have been corrected the instant he got up. The fact that he got up, climbed on a table and started dancing is more a reflexion of the daycare personnel not doing their job than bad behavior on your sons part.
I agree they need to handle school issues at school.

This may sound odd, but what are they feeding him? Fructose, corn syrup, HFCS cause behavior changes. If he was home, and was not fed them or at least not often and is now getting a lot of it. It could change his behavior. It does for my son.

We also found out that Gluten was an issue for him. It hurts his tummy.

We have also restricted the synthetic dyes, (Red Dye 40, Yellow 6 and Blue 1)etc.

My guess is that he is eating right before laying down, if he is eating something that has this in it, it could be causing him to have extra energy and not be able to lay down or stay still.

Good luck

nap time is toooo long.. your kid is not tired.. an d he cannot be still and quiet for 2 hours..

the more they force the kid to lay there and be still the more he is going to behave badly...

talk to the director and see if they can shorten his nap.. let him go in the room with the older kids.. or something..

I feel like for a 3 and a half year old 2 hours may be to long for a nap. He may not need to nap at all anymore. It's hard to expect a child that's not tired to sit for 2 hours

They do need to handle it at school. They can keep you updated but it's really their issue and they don't need to tattle on your child.

They cannot let a 3 year old stay in the building alone. That's not going to happen okay? They would have to keep the whole class inside if he didn't go outside.

In the state of Oklahoma all children under 5 years of age and in kindergarten ARE required to lay down on a cot and attempt to sleep. If they don't fall asleep it's the teachers job to try to get the to fall asleep but if they don't fall asleep they can give them quiet toys on the cot. If the other kids are asleep they might even let a quiet child sit up in an area and read a book or play with those quiet soft toys.

It is unfair for the other children to not be allowed to have their naps and your kiddo is prohibiting them from sleeping. So that's why the center is having such a problem.

Some states may not make their kids take naps but in Oklahoma it's in the child care rules and regulations handbook. If the state inspection agent comes in during nap time and sees kids not on cots asleep they want to know why that teacher isn't doing their job, sitting beside that child rubbing their back, spending time working to get that child to fall asleep. I could have lost my contract and license if I'd have not been following the rules and regulations.

So, if your little guy just isn't going to take a nap, he may not have even laid down during the day with your friends, then you need to visit with the teachers and let them know that they should work harder with him to get him asleep. If he doesn't go to sleep then what is their plan.

My little guy refused to take a nap at pre-school. I went to get him one day and a friend of mine was coming out the door. We said hi to each other as we passed.

She stopped and turned and told me she needed to speak to me. She said she had spoken to my little guy and some other kids too. She said she'd had a complaint to the state that the teachers in my little guys rooms had been abusing him at nap time. Whomever called the complaint in had observed the teachers laying their legs on his back, leaning on him to hold him down, yelling at him, and more. It was no wonder he hated the whole idea of nap time.

She had interviewed a lot of kids but the complaint was on specific teachers and my grandson. They had to interview other kids to mask who they were actually talking to and about what.

Some kids just don't like nap time and it's the teachers job to manage it, they should be experts if they've worked in child care for very long.

I think if this continues I'd visit with the director about how unhappy you are that the teachers don't seem to be well trained since they don't know how to manage a 3 year old during quiet time. They can also send him to the directors office when the kids first lay down so the kids that want a nap can get to sleep. Then he can come back in and lay down, the teachers don't have anything else they're supposed to be doing during nap time except watch the kids. They should be able to manage him and if he starts back up getting loud they need to remove him from the room again.

I kept all the car seats for taking the kids on field trips in my office. I'd let the kids coming in for time away sit on them and read a book or do a puzzle. They'd sit quietly or I'd call their parents. They didn't like that so they'd all be quiet.

Most day cares here do not make three year olds take naps. If they wish to nap then they may join the toddlers for a nap, but otherwise they stay with the preschool group and play. Is there an option for this at your day care? I personally didn't know any kids who still napped at three, so I can see how telling a kid to sit still and do nothing for two hours would cause problems. Taking away outdoor playtime is only going to make the situation worse. Kids need fresh air and exercise!