3 1/2 Year Old Boy Not Interested in Potty Training - Do It Anyway or Wait?

At my son's two-year checkup, our pediatrician told us that we'd be lucky if we had our son potty trained before 4. Don't know how he knew that, but he must've seen enough boys to know that all boys are different, and some are just too busy in other areas to focus on potty training. And, of course, doc was right about my son. His focus has always been on physical development. He taught himself how to do forward rolls unassisted before he was two years old. At two, he was a better soccer player than my 5-yr-old. He's now 3.5, and he will go on the potty, but we have to remind him constantly or have him run around with no bottoms on so he'll remember. Like doc said, I don't see getting my son finished with training before 4.

So, don't stress about it. It'll happen in time, but if he feels pressured, it may delay it further. Just make sure he has his potty seat there, and have him sit on it before he takes a bath or whenever you know he tends to pee. With my son, we started a sticker chart, and he knows he'll get a Cars cake when it's filled. He still uses his diaper more often than not, even when we remind him to go on the potty, but it has helped.

Good luck to you (to us both)!! =)

I would usually say don't push a child who is simply not interested and otherwise doing really well but at 3 1/2 you are going to start running into problems with school. Alot of places will not except un-potty trained children past a certain age usually 2 or 3. That would be my only concern, that he not be limited in his schooling just based on that. I will say that my son took until he was a couple months past 3 because he could not get potty'ing during the night and naptime down but when at home he could go everytime. Maybe since you have another child that is just about at a good age to start potty training, you potty train them together. Make it a game, teach them together reward them together. Maybe if one is doing it the other will also. Maybe it will help them both to have a buddy to learn with. Good Luck!

I have a two part answer...let him do it on his own time, but don't make it any too easy on him either. I would ask him if he wants to use the potty at those usual times (before bath, before bed, first thing in the morning, etc...) and use the sticker chart/reward system when he makes the choice to go or at least try to go. Make the reward nice so it's something he can really strive for. Let him choose. Any then you stop doing some things because "you have to be a big boy to do it". For instance he can't help push the cart at the grocery store, that's only for big boys. Or you can't stay up an extra 10 min because that's only for big boys. Just say it like it's no big deal to you, it's just a fact. Pretty soon he'll realise it's more fun to be a big boy and he'll want to use the potty. And don't stress about it. My boy took much longer and more work to potty train than either of my girls.

I'm right there with you with my 3 1/2 year old boy. No interest at all. His twin sister has been potty trained since January. Just adding that to show that some things are done in their own time.

What we've been doing with him. We started making him sit on the potty off and on over the last couple of months. There was a lot of crying and drama but he couldn't get off until he sat their quietly. Then we started making him wear cotton undies while we were at home. Honestly, I don't think he really knew when he was going pee. He would walk around in wet undies until we noticed. We would just ask him "Do you remember what it felt like right before you went?" and then tell him if he felt that feeling then he needed to go potty. Then he got to where he would come tell us right after he went in his undies that he needed to go potty. Then it just seemed to click. He told us about two weeks ago "I need to go potty". Sure enough, he held and he went! It hasn't been 100% but we're well on our way now. During all of this we would still make him sit on the potty and try.

So that's what worked for us. I hope it helps you!

D.

i'd get him a physical. if the doc isn't worried, then i wouldn't be either. it could take another year before you should really worry. i know everyone will tell you that their miracle child trained at 8 months of their own free will. i'm the parent of 2 normal boys who trained at over 4 years old.

I don't know about everyone else, but all I can say is you just do it. I don't know a kid out there that wakes up and tells you "Hey mom potty train me". There are several good potty training books like three day potty training guide. It works you just have to stick to to it and follow the steps. You will feel like giving up after the first day, but by the third or fourth day they will start going. I potty trained my dauther at 28 months and son at 24 months neither of them showed signs of wanting to be potty trained I just did it. Several of my friends used it as well and it worked for them. Best of luck!

my 3 1/2 year old boy is in the same boat. Sometimes he asks to wear his big boy underwear, but he still wets them.

We put him on the potty chair most every time we change his diaper, but we try not to make a big deal out of his accidents (when we did, it only made him more defiant).

Now, we give him a small marshmallow if he pees and a toy car if he poops (which has only been 2 times).

Our second is about the same as your second and we put him on the potty chair too now. It really motivates our oldest when he sees that so he can show the baby how to do it right.

good luck, I know diapers are expensive and annoying!