Hello Mama's!!!
OK so I know there are a lot of sleep questions but I am truly exhausted and just need some rest.
I have a 22 month old son that just recently has started having fits when it comes to bed time. He refuses to go down for bed when it is bedtime. We have tried the cry it out method and he will sit up and cry for hours.The only thing we have been able to do is sit in the room with him until he falls asleep.
He shares a room with our 4 year old so we know that it is not him being lonely. We just can't figure it out. After he goes to sleep he will wake up in the middle of the night and it starts all over. He will cry for about an hour before he falls back asleep.
I have a three month old daughter so I am already up at least twice with her at night so having to take this hour with him is really costing me a lot. Please Mama's help!!!!
M.
Thank you so much Mama's!!!
I have read through the responses that I have recieved and am very grateful for everything! My DH and I have spoken and think that he may just be going through a jealous phase of the baby. Since she takes so much of my time he really just wants to be loved on. We also think that it may just be that he is not getting enough sleep. We have decided that at night now I will put him to bed first, at least half an hour earlier, and stay there and love on him and then put our other two down. This way each of them will get individual attention from me.
Thank you all so much for all your help!
M.
When my son started waking at this age, we found that he was afraid of the dark. A night light did wonders!
Dr. Phil and Super Nanny both use a technique where you go in there and sit in there for a few minutes and pat his back. then walk out and if he cries after a few minutes go back in there and do the same thing. You only talk to him the very first time you put him down but after that you don't say a word. You just pat his back and go out... let him cry for a few minutes but every time you go in there you stay in there less and stay out more. there is a special technique and you can look it up but it's training your child to sleep through the night. I never did this with any of my children because I heard about it after they were older. I'm currently pregnant now so I will probably have to try this out myself. It's suppose to be very effective. Good luck and I hope you get some rest!! I'm sure you can read about it on Dr. Phill or Super Nanny's websites...
Book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. This book is super. Has lots of tips. It's our "Sleep Bible." I hope it helps.
I can sympathize with this! I have a 22 month old as well (he turns 2 on New Year's Eve). He has recently realized that bed might not be the funnest place for him. I think this age is just when they figure that out. I think you have an added complication because of the baby. Adding a baby to the house can be traumatic for kids (I don't think it's bad trauma - it's like the trauma of having a baby yourself - it's hard, but it's still good, if that makes any sense). Unfortunately, I'm not sure I have any answers for you, but just to know you are not alone. :) Haha, I know that doesn't help.
Is he still in a crib? Or did you move him out of the crib to make room for baby sister? I leave my babies in cribs until 3 years old or until they can get out themselves. (Baby#1 was 3 years old, Baby#2 was about 2). Then Son#2 started refusing to go in his crib (in a shared room), I let him sleep in his brother's toddler bed with his brother. There wasn't much room, but they both seemed happy with it. Eventually, I got them a twin bed that they share (it has a trundle so they can each have their own bed, but I need a mattress for it).
Sometimes, on nights when my kids are having a hard time sleeping, I make a concession, like that they can have a flashlight in bed with them, or a nightlight, or a cuddly book, or a sippy cup or something like that. Usually, when they realize that bedtime is not an option, and they know that if they don't stay in bed, the lovey gets taken away, that works. I'm not sure if he's old enough to reason with though.
Even though I'm sort of anti-Crying it out, I think it might work in this situation. You just have to be consistent, because if he has any hopes of you saving him, the crying will just get LONGER. But eventually, I do believe it would stop, but you have to be willing to live through the crying episodes in the meantime.
Good luck!
It may seem "old fashioned" but lavender essential oil diluted with fractionated coconut oil applied to the bottom of the feet, wiped across a pillow, diffused with a fine micro-mist diffuser or all of the above works wonders! If you watch the Dr.OZ show weekdays at 11:00am on KOAT ( ABC ) channel 7, you may have heard Dr.OZ talk about essential oils. The best oils available are from doTERRA,a company founded in April, 2008 and the only one that provides the highest standard, Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade ( CPTG ). See their add in the beautiful free news magazine, Santa Fe One Heart. doTERRA also has something called the Dr. Mom Kit with a collection of oils that can be used for the things mom's most often face.
It sounds like what he needs right now is you. You are most likely very busy during the day, and he'd like you to be there with him while he makes the transition from his own busy day to sleep. Maybe if you and your husband taking turns lying down with little guy each night while the other holds the baby, it will only take 5-10 min to get him to sleep. Then everyone can sleep faster and better. :) This might feel like you are starting a bad habit or spoiling, but I have found with my children that quite the opposite is true. If you give them what they need, they will sure enough spring to independence when they are ready. Good luck, mama! :)
There is probably a lot of jealousy issues going on with the new baby. My daughter was upset when my son (15 months apart) was born. However, if I had it to do over again I'd have let my son (the baby) cry and attend to my daughter more. He is probably feeling insecure now because of the change.
Another thought- could the 4 year old be doing something to keep him awake? Picking on him, making noise, etc. You might want to set up a video camera (don't let the 4 year old see you) and see if you find anything like that out.
My guess though is the change/jealousy issue. Maybe if you spend one on one time in the day with him while the baby is sleeping (I know hard to do with 3 little ones) maybe he'll get better). I do like what Christy Z said too.
Take care,
K.
Chances are that he is teething. There are references is the the "What to Expect: The Toddler Years" to waking at 12, 24 & 36 monthes...they all have to do with teething. You may not feel anything yet, but there are molars that are pushing to the surface and can cause pressure and ear pain.
If he wakes up at night with this, then maybe he is associating bedtime sleep with this pain. When my girls were going through this, and I knew it was their teeth, I would give them Motrin. After a few nights, things would get back on track. Be aware that because this has already been going on, it may take more then a few nights to get things back on track.
This happened with my oldest daughter when she was 3. In fact, she didn't sleep through the night or fall asleep on her own until I did what I am about to tell you. What I did for a while, was I started out by sitting on the foot of her bed at night for a night or two until she fell asleep. The next night I sat next to her bed until she fell asleep. Every night after that, I would gradually move further away from her bed until I was sitting outside of her room where she could see me. The next night I moved out of her room around the corner. Whenever she would freak out, I would just stick my hand out so she knew I was there. That seemed to be good for her and she has been fine about going to sleep ever since and it has been 5 years since then. My daughter would also wake up during the night and I found out they were night terrors. She would wake up screaming but she was not really awake. I am not sure if this is what is happening with your son, but even if it isn't, you might want to make sure that he is getting enough rest during the day. There is a book called "Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child." In this book he mentions that sleep begets more sleep. When children are over tired, their little bodies have a hard time settling down and it can cause them to wake up during the night and have restless sleep. At 22 months, your son probably still needs naps during the day but may not be getting them. Even if he won't nap, maybe putting him down earlier at night will help. If this is his time to spend with only you, it might help too because he may be needing the attention that one other mother mentioned.
Wow, that was wordy. I hope you find something that works for you. I also have 3 children close together in age, so I know how it is to be exhausted. Just know that this too shall pass and you will soon wish that they were all babies again.
did you possibly just get a round of immunizations? This happened to our daughter after a round of immunizations.
