20 Month Old Not Talking Enough

S., Some kids talk sooner than others. I have seen some children not really talk until they are 3 or older and then all of a sudden, they take off. Sometimes, they are just watching and learning quietly or they may be working on their motor skills first. If she is learning new words everyday, I would not be concerned and I certainly wouldn't let what other people say bother you. Sometimes they mean well, but every child is different. You are doing the right thing. Reading is so important in all their skills of learning. Keep up the good work!! (from a grandma of seven)

I had a brother who was 2 before he even said a word. :) It was October when all of a sudden he walked into the room and started singing: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way! So that's what we had to record in his baby book....his first word was a song. He was just keeping it all in until he felt like it. He has always been smart.. a straight A student, in honors classes and then received a $250,000 college scholorship. So I'd say, there's nothing to be worried about! :)

Hi my name is michelle and i have a boy that is almost 3 in september and he just points to every thing and doesn't say one word. Every one i tell says there is something wrong with him because he doesnt talk yet. I have family members on my tail about it. But i have talked to his doctor and she says that they talk when they want to.You cant forse them to talk he also has a older sister that talks for him sometimes. So i wouldnt worry about it to much. But i know that its hard when every one is on you about it. I understand.

First and formost, tell those people to back off! There is nothing worse than the know-it-alls who try to group every child into what is normal. Sounds to me like she speaks when she has something to say. I only wish the people who have all the advise would have learned that lesson. Don't let anyone else try to raise your child with their standards. YOU'RE THE MOM, you know your child. I know you are insecure in the beginning, but we all were. I have two daughters 35 and 37. I am also the Nana to 5 grandkids. If you feel you need help, ask for it, but don't think you have to be held to anybody elses ideas. GOOD LUCK KID.

Hi,
I didn't speak until I was 4 years old. I'm now a professional writer and speaker. I always feel so sorry for young mothers; always worried about what other people say about their kids. Learn to trust the voice inside. Only you know what's best for your kids and yourself. Your daughter is fine. Tell her stories, read poetry to her. Whatever you do, don't "project" that something is wrong with her. Then you will make it so. Let her be. Children learn in their own time. Everybody is into "standardized." That leaves little room for humanity nor diversity of life and individuation.

Hi S.,
You are right, people can be judgemental. If your little girl isn't "talking enough" it's probably because she doesn't have anything to say. Kids do things when they need to. They eat when they are hungery, sleep when they are tired and talk when they need to. It isn't something you can force. It sounds like you are covering your bases. I'm sure that these judgemental people only say something about it because the care, but it does get old. If you know the person really well just tell them that you are tired of hearing about it and that you are doing everthing you are suppossed to and remind them that all kids progress at different paces. If it's a stranger or someone you don't know well say something like,"My daughter only talks around people she feels safe with" or "You should here her talk at home, it's hard to get her to be quiet, so I'm enjoying the peace and quiet right now". Good luck

"Saying new words every day?" You have no problem at all with your child's speech. The people who are trying to make you paranoid about your mothering are the problem. Stop hanging out with people like that. (I'm betting that they're relatives that you're stuck with, but you don't actually have to hang around with them!)

Any child development book will tell you that your child is normal.

With my first child I was very concerned about what people said, too. I wanted so much to be a good mother, I drove my pediatrician and friends crazy with my questions. You said your daughter is talking and using new words every day. You are reading to her, which is one of the best ways to learn new words and their use in context, and you have conversations with her. It sounds to me like she is developing normally. Unless one of the people who says she is not talking enough is a child developmental psychologist, I would say, ignore them. Each child develops at his or her own pace and trying to get them to advance faster is frustrating to both of you and could be detrimental. I know, I tried it. Relax, enjoy your daughter, wherever she is at the moment. Read, play games, have conversations with her, go on outings and talk about your experiences, enjoy spending time with each other. That's all you need to do for her development.

A little about me:
I am a mother of two, a daughter 25 years old and a son 21 years old. I've been married to the same man for 27 years. My children are bright, articulate, and enjoying their lives.

My best advice would be to ignore the people who are telling you this (or anything else)! We all do the best we can and kids learn at their own pace. Don't force it...she'll talk more when she's ready. Just some things we do with our kids: talk about body parts and point to them, talk about animals and the sounds they make, talk about colors wherever we see them. I think puzzles are good, b/c they can hold the piece in their hands and talk about it (and get frustrated when they can't get it in the right way)! I always thought my daughter would talk more and earlier, b/c she was so social, but she didn't really get going until aroung 18 months and my son is almost 17 months now and he lets us know what he wants, but isn't talking all that much (he kind of says the beginning of the word--lazy little stinker). You just enjoy your beautiful little girl...and take the cues from her. She'll be talking more before you know it! Someone told me once, we spend their first 2 years trying to get them to walk & talk and then the rest of the time telling them to sit down and be quiet! :) Smiles, A.

Hi S.,

You say your 20 month old is talking and learning new words daily, I say don't worry! Does she put 2 words together? When my kids were young, *they* said a two year old should be able to speak in 2 word sentences, a three year old in 3 words...etc. Both of my kids are hearing impaired and they went til the ages of 5 before we really caught on to their needing hearing aids as they talked up a storm! (Though a lot of the words were not clear or mispronounced, we chalked it up to them being young.) So, if you are concerned at all, have their hearing tested by an audiologist! (I'd be happy to recommend a few if you want). But overall, I say not to take other peoples critics to heart, and enjoy your little one! Good Luck!

Hello S. G.! I wish I have a nickel for every time somebody has told me one of my children is not doing something according to the 'milestones of development'. While they are important, the milestones are not set in stone - so to speak. I have a 6 year old daughter, who did most everything early - which is not alway a good thing.... I also have three year old twin boys and they have been on the other end of the spectrum with regards to reaching milestones. People are so quick to compare them to one another and then to their sister. It's difficult when people forget they are individuals, just because they are twins does not mean they are the same person & they certainly do things on their own timetable.
So, my twins have speech delays and when they were two & a half a friend told me about the State run speech program for children with speech delays. I thought that it would be difficult to get them into the program so I waited until they were three to try for the three's program. That was a big mistake!!!! Not only is the two's program easy to get into, the it's free. We are now paying a ton for speech therapy through Idaho Elks. One of my boys has just qualified for the school district's pre-school program due to his level of delay, this will be a great resource for him to catch up.
I don't mean to imply that your daughter has a speech delay - please know that. What I do want you to know is that a trip to your doctors office can take all the difference. I asked my pediatrician a few questions, voiced my concerns about the boys speech and he wrote them the referral to the Elks program. Within a week the boys were being evaluated and I knew exactly what we were dealing with. The nice thing about your situation is that if necessary, your little girl would qualify for the two's program. She would receive fabulous speech therapy to help her progress and it would be paid for by the State - it's not based on your family's income, but your child's needs. Our costs right now are $140 per appointment, per child - every week... needless to say I wished I'd done something last year. Not only would my boys have gotten the help they needed earlier, but I wouldn't be spending their college money!
Hang in there and try to ignore people's comments, I know easier said than done...... I really believe that kids are going to do things on their own schedule. The more we worry about it, rarely changes the outcome. The bright side is that if your daughter does in fact need some extra help, there are some great resources in our community.
good luck!
S. B.

Hi S. - boy do I feel your pain! I am so sorry that you have these critical people in your life telling you such things - as if we moms don't feel inadequate enough! I posted a similar request a couple of weeks ago wondering if my son has a speech delay.

I decided to just go ahead and have him checked out rather than worry about it. I figured it might also quiet the person in my life who has been critical of me. I called Child Find which is a state program to locate children early who are suspected of having any kind of developmental delay.

I live in Douglas county so I called the office that is near Park Meadows. ###-###-#### I told the woman I wasn't sure if there was a problem or not. She was very helpful and set up an appt. for an evaluation saying that either way, I'll have peace of mind. She said it's better to go ahead and check it out. If he needs help, he'll get it. If he's just a little slow in talking, they'll give me advice on how to work with him at home. Either way, I'll know for sure. It's completely free and they will even offer my son a hearing test. It covers any child 18mos - pre-k.

Here is a link to the Child Find directory for all the counties -

http://www.cde.state.co.us/cdesped/download/pdf/CF_Direct...

I encourage you to give them a call. My appt. is set for April 7. If you have questions, please email me!

C.

People really can be pushy on this subject...I think it's great that your daughter is picking up on words on a daily basis. Now if she wasn't doing that then maybe I'd be concerned, but every child is different....It seems like everyone is trying to conform to a guideline or something, hey look at Einstein, he didn't take for many years. Maybe a snappy comeback would be: every child's different

My son is now 4 but he did not really start talking at all until he was 2 1/2 - 3years old. We went through speech therapy and everything. He just decided one day to start talking. All the professionals we went through did exactly what you are doing!!! Reading to him, playtime with lots of talking to him, talking normally not baby talk, always asking questions!! We were even told when they do talk to you, even if you do not understand everything they are saying, engage in a conversation that helps them and keeps them from getting frustrated when they are trying to get your attention or trying to communicate. I have 4 kids and they have all talked at different stages. If she is well adjusted and able to communicate what she wants, just work with her and it will come. I can not get my 4 year old to stop talking now!! Enjoy every stage, and don't let anyone else dictate what they think you child should be doing or saying (less of course it is your ped.). It sounds like you are doing a great job. Unfortunately people will always be judgemental, it is a fact of life. Focus on what your families feeling are and not strangers. Don't dwell on what they are saying, always think about the smile on your little girls face when you do interact with her!!
Good Luck!!

Hi, I have a 22 month old Son who has the same problem. At his 18-month check-up his Doctor said he should be talking more. All Kids develop differently. I've had people tell me not to worry about it, at least not right now. What does her doctor say about it? I wouldn't worry at this time.

Something to learn as a mom...you will never stop hearing from people their opinion of what you are doing and where your child is developmentally! It seems natural for people to say things like "well are you sure she is doing xyz like she should because my child did xyz by age..." And it always seems to be the parent who has the child who was a bit ahead of the norm. Get use to it--it never stops.

As long as she is progressing, still learning--which is what you are saying--that is what is significant. If what other people say bugs you just say to them "Yeah--well she just LOVES to read--her favorite book right now is ____ A child who loves to read is a wonderful blessing!!! We think that is more important" And it sounds like you are doing all the right things---so don't worry about what other people are saying, don't let other people give you the "mommy guilt trip"

Hi S.! I just want to tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your little girl. As you stated, she is talking, and learning new words all the time, that is what is important. I know other people can be really cruel sometimes, even without realizing it sometimes. My son is 19 months, almost 20, and he only says 3 words. My husband and I work with him on a daily basis, but he has no desire to talk yet. He is very smart, he understands everything we tell him, but as I said, he has zero desire to talk. Even with his 3 year old brother talking to him all the time. I know that when he decides he is ready to talk, he will amaze us with how much he really knows, until then, I will just enjoy him being the goofy, happy, wonderful 1 1/2 year old that he is. I know it isn't easy, but try not to let what other people say get to you. You know you are a good mom, you love your daughter, and she is learning, at her own pace (not anyone elses), and that is all that matters. Good luck! I hope that helped.

Hi S.
I think you are doing everything right. I have raised several kids and they all developed at different times. My sister was told that my nephew wasn't talking enough and needed to be read more books (she is a young single mom)so his vocabulary would develop. He wasn't quite 2 yet. I told her yes she should be reading him books, but not to worry. Sure enough after his second birthday at about 2 and a half he just started talking clearly and constantly. Don't worry. You are doing everything correct and your daughter will one day surprise you and jabber away! I had a friend who wouldn't talk at all besides mama and dada and a few other small words. Then one day she looked at her mom and said, "Peanut butter and jelly please"! You just never know! Good luck!

Hi, S.:

I would not worry at all about what people are saying to you. SOME people have a knack for minding other people's business. You are the best judge of whether or not you think there may be something to be concerned about with respect to your daughter. It sounds like you're doing everything just right and like another respondent said, everyone is different and matures at a different rate.

A little known fact that may help assuade your concerns: it was once thought that Albert Einstein was retarded because he didn't speak until he was three-years-old! We all know that's not true!

HTH,
B. Maestas

That is so idiotic... I have had enough with people who think every person/child should fit into a cookie cutter mold. You don't have to answer to them... but if you do, you could say something like this:

"Thanks for your concern, we are doing our best to provide her opportunities so that she will reach her potential. When it comes to small children, milestones come at different times for each one. We think she is doing great!"

Something else you can say if you don't care for diplomacy is:
"I think my baby is a lot smarter than you, and for sure a lot nicer."
Or: "One of the first things I will teach her to say when she can talk is what Thumper said in Bambi:'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' "

When I have had friends with slow talkers, walkers, crawlers, etc... I have always said... it doesn't matter when, just that they do reach that milestone. Have you ever known anyone who was personally affected by learning these things more slowly than anyone else? I don't.

To tell you the truth, my 5 and 3 1/2 year old talked very early and to top it off are bilingual... people have been commenting and compimenting about it for a long time. But I don't think that makes them special. My biggest concern is that they can learn to get along with and be helpful to others and that they have opportunities to maximize their potential (there isn't anything you can do to speed up that process besides talking and reading which you are already doing).

Before you know it your daughter will amaze you verbally and her bright little sponge brain will be able to express words you didn't even think she knew. If she gets to 3 and no one but you can understand her, then consider speech therapy. Until then, keep up the good work.

S., you may have heard about this already, and I'm sorry if you have, but this is not your fault. I had a similar experience with my second daughter, and after taking her to an audiologist to have her hearing checked (she didn't speak at all at 24 months), that audiologist referred us to the Infant & Toddler Program run by Health & Welfare. They initially evaluated her speech, and then developmental and sensory/occupational as well and we "found" an answer.

I'm happy to say that in the 3 years since then, she not only became quite a speaker, but she's still in preschool and she reads her older sister's library books! We will always have some quirks to work with, but it is completely doable.

S.,
My son is 4 and in Speech therapy, the best person to discuss this with is your pediatrician and see if your daughter needs a speech evaluation, or she might be just fine!

It is amazing how many arm chair parents there are out there. Let me tell you my story, and what I did, and maybe you can find a solution here. My daughter is the first child we have. When she was six months old, she started eating baby cereal. Then a few months later she got very sick over a few days. After that she refused to eat cereal. I mixed in everything you could possibly imagine and still she flat out refused. I was worried so I took her to see her doctor. The doctor said that as long as she was gaining weight and was other wise healthy then she was ok not to eat the cereal, and that she would go back to it when she was ready. When my mother in law found out, all heck broke loose. She called me all sorts of horrible names, told me I was the worst mother ever, and said that she knew more than the doctor because she raised four kids. This behavior went on for weeks. Ultimatly the doctor was right. My daughter was healthy and by the time she was 18 months old, she was three feet tall, so I must have been doing ok without other's judgemental interferance. My advice is to just keep doing what you are doing. One thing that people choose not to understand is that all kids are different. Another thing to consider is that a lot of moms I know feel the need to compete with other moms (what activities their kids are good at, ect). My daughter could read when she entered kindergarten. I was very proud but mostly scared for her, but when I mentioned it to certain moms, they had to instantly tell me how their child was better than mine.

Opinions are like bellybuttons, everyone has one, but no one else wants to see it. If your daughter seems alright every other way, I would be patient and let her find her voice on her own. And if the other people really bother you, tell them their opinion was heard but that they should really mind their own business. Dont doubt yourself, you are doing a great job without their help!

People think that they can give you any kind of advice or comments and you should be grateful for it. It sounds like you're doing all the right things and that's all the matters. If your doctor thinks there is an issue, then you will discuss it with him/her and no one else, if you choose. When people make comments like that you can be polite and say something like, "She talks much more at home." or "We're not concerned about that right now." If people are really rude about it, you could respond, "Thank you, but I didn't ask for your advice." At least that's what I would say! LOL! My daughter is 19 months and doesn't say much either. But I'm not worried. She totally on track developmentally. I haven't had to deal with any rude comments for other people, tho. You can really be as rude or polite as you want to to these people. Just a basic "We're not concerned about her development." is probably the best response. Then just change the subject or talk about all the other things your daughter does really well. I know it can be hard to deal with people who think you want their opinion, but the best is to try and let it go in one ear and out the other, because you are her mom and you know her best, and you love her no matter what. And that's what really matters. :)

don't worry i have a 21 month old and he hardly talks at all (maybe 7 to 8 words but he does all the barn yard animal sounds) my doctor said not to worry until he is two, if he doesn't start talking more by then. hope i could help. and don't worry about what anyone else says I'm sure you are a great mom!!!

Hi, do not feel bad. All kids develope differently, I have three kids 2 which spoke alot at one. But my middle child know three had a hard time talking. I mentioned to her doctor that I was worried she had her hearing checked to make sure that was not an issue, fortunately her hearing was fine. I took her to speech classes for about a year which really helped. It was nothing out of the ordinary basicly they made her ask for things and made her tell us when she was done doing something and she just started expressing herself better. I also noticed that having her around kids her age made her speaking better. Do not worry, be patient. good luck.
E. B.

You shouldn't listen to all those ignorant people.Like the Doctor always tell me babies learn at their own speeds.I have learned that with my 2 boys also.My boys are a year apart & born in the same month.They both go at their own speeds.My oldest did things alot faster then my youngest.You shouldn't worry because she is only 20 months old.My cousins daughter is 24 months old doesn't like to speak out loud.She just doesn't like to speak to other people.But she tells her 4 year old sister things all the time.My son who is 18 months old tries to talk all the time.I think its just their personalities.You really shouldn't worry.Well Good Luck and God Bless.

Hi S., I have a 16 month old and was just told the same thing. My Doctor gave me the number of an Occupational Therapist that is free to the public until Preschool age. I thought it was worth a try. It couldn't hurt to hear what someone else has to say and maybe we are missing something. We also read all the time to our daugher. Here's the #
Foothill Gateway
1-888-777-4041
or
###-###-####
I'm calling today since I just got the # myself. Let us know ho it goes.

People are very judgemental and you just have to learn to ignore them. Unless your doctor or you are concerned don't listen to them. Every child is different and there is no, "normal" amount of words they should be saying. There is however an estimated amount they should be saying by the age of 2. My son was the same way, he wasn't saying hardly any words at 20 months and then the month of his 2nd birthday he just started coming up with new words everyday, he is now 27 months old and is talking up a storm. Give her time, keep doing what you are doing and she will go at her own pace. And again, uless your doctor is concerned you have nothing to worry about, ignore what everyone else is saying.

Unless the people you are hearing this from are developmental experts, ignore them. My daughter started talking late, and while she was making steady progress, barely met minimal thresholds at age 2 (35 identifiable words, some two word combinations). Some people (okay, my mom, mainly) harassed me about this. My pediatrician said it was worth watching, but not to worry yet.

By age three she was talking in complete sentences, had clear pronunciation, even r and l (many kids don't get these sounds until 4 or 5), and had a substantial vocabulary. By age 4, when she was evaluated as part of a language development study at the university here, she impressed the evaluators with her verbal competence.

You know your child best, and you know whether she is progressing. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should trust her, trust yourself, trust the professionals (teachers/pediatricians/child development specialists) and ignore the self-appointed critics. A good answer, if you feel compelled to give one, is "Her pediatrician is satisfied with her progress, and so am I."

If YOU are concerned, get her evaluated. Otherwise, be patient with her. Some kids take longer. It doesn't mean they won't get there.

If YOU are REALLY concerned, take your daughter to a pediatrician to talk to him about it. Or have her screened by the local early education experts. If YOU are not concerned --- who are these other people making judgements??? If it's your family and/or friends --- tell them how it makes you feel and that they need to back off. If it's not your family and/or friends tell the people that they are being rude and to mind their own damn business! I guess the polite thing to do is to simply ignore them.

Ignore the idiots who feel the need to give you their unwanted opinions. Every child developes at a different rate. My nephew is more than 2 years old and only has about 5 words in his vocabulary. If your doctor is satisfied and you are satisfied, don't worry about it! Besides, are these people around you all the time? My daughter is 22 months and is an absolute motor mouth at home, but when others are around she doesn't speak nearly as much. These people don't see your daughter as much as you do and don't know her as well...don't let them bug you!

S.,

The brain is amazing and i think of it as this multi-faceted organ which grows in different places and at different rates in ALL of us depending on each of our uniqueness. 20 months old is SO LITTLE!!! she will be fine, and talking up a storm when she's ready. people mean well, but no one knows your daughter like you do. if you feel like she's healthy and happy and just where she should be, i'm sure she is!

i have a friend with a daughter who was an early talker and she would constantly compare my son to her daughter. after a while i started to think of my son as delayed verbally, i mean i had him labeled that way in my mind! then, as he got older and we became exposed to more kids i realized that he was actually really verbal for a boy.

if she's not talking well by age 4 or 5, then i would be concerned, otherwise, continue enjoying her!!!

I wouldn’t let it bother you about your daughter’s talking. When my oldest was 20 months she talked but you still couldn’t understand her that well. She didn’t start talking well until she was over 2. We never talked baby talk to her and we always red to her. If you are concerned about her talking ask her doctor next time she goes in for her wellness check up. If the DR is concerned about that he will let you know. Until then, just ignore the comments that people say about her talking. Everyone thinks that they know what is going on with your child even though you are the one that are with the child the most.

S.

S.,
Don't worry about what other people say. I'm sure your daughter is fine. I have a four year old who was speaking sentences before two and was completely understandable and a 26 month old who just started putting sentences together and you really have to listen to understand. They all work at their own pace. My husband didn't speak - at all - until he was three and then he started to read at four. You might just have a little genius on your hands who is absorbing everything now and will bless you with her wisdom later.

I don't think you should worry. When my daughter was 20 months, she had just started talking. I think that she was just observing things around her so that she could be right when she talked. Now she is 30 months old and speaking in sentences. I would just ignore what people say. People can be so rude sometimes!

Children develop at their own pace- My oldest son is the exact same age as his cousin and my mother always told me how my son spoke so much better then the cousin (it wasn't true at all, the cousin spoke great too-)... She just never heard the cousin speak... So let your child open up when she is ready-

However if you want to try something fun learn signlanguage with her. I did it with both of my children and they loved it. It did not delay them at all, if anything helped them in verbal communication. The videos we used were called signing times and with my first child we just checked them out at the library.

Dear S.,
First of all, you are doing a great job! It's hard, but please try to ignore those people. Only you know your daughter.

My daughter was "a late bloomer" and I could pretty much count how many words she could say on two hands at her 2 year doctor's appointment. She pretty much grunted and pointed most of the time, although she did babble to herself in her own language. Our doctor said that as long as she could understand simple commands and tried to communicate in other ways (i.e. grunting, babbling, etc...) then not to worry. Some kids are just "late bloomers" and as we all know, kids develop at different rates. She said to give it some time before we went through the whole testing route.

Well within several months of turning 2 she started talking more and more, saying 1 or more new words each day. It then quickly turned into simple 2 word phrases and just took off from there until she was saying full sentences. It's been a year and she just turned 3 last month and she amazes me with what comes out of her mouth! SHE TALKS NONSTOP... seriously, she doesn't know what quiet means! :) I think it just took her own time and maybe some confidence. A lot of what she says still isn't "clear" because she can't pronounce certain letters or she says things wrong, but we don't correct her (we want to encourage her trying to talk, even if it's wrong). We just repeat what she says in the proper way so she can hear it.

I do know how you feel as we were really worried because other people were putting pressure on us and our daughter and saying something must be wrong, she should be tested, blah blah blah. But when we relaxed and stopped stressing about how many words we felt she should know, things just started to happen on their own. You must do what you feel is right for you. It sounds like you're doing all the right things though, so now it is up to her.

Best wishes! I hope this helps.

S.,
My oldest son is 8yrs. old now. Up until the day after his 2nd b-day he only said "mama" "dada" and "ball" My mom was worried that something was wrong. But then on the day after he turned 2 we were on a walk and he saw a bike and said "bike" then he said "motorcycle" and from that day forward he talked in clearly and began making full sentences. I had friends and family that were so amazed at how he had just been storing it and was finally ready to let it out. He is now at the top of his 2nd grade class. So don't worry about her at this point. I am sure your daughter is just storing it all in her brain. When she is good and ready she will let the world know it. And how rude of people to tell you that you are doing a bad job! They are not doing a very good job at being a friend if you ask me. Babies all develop at different rates and an early talker or an early reader actually has no bearing on their future success or how intelligent they are. One more thing to remember is that she doesn't have older siblings to mimic either.

My son is 21 months and at his 18 month checkup i suspected he was a little bit behind in his speech and talked to his pediatrician about this. She recommended that he get an assessment thru Developmental Pathways which is a program through the county. It is a free service. I took him in for the assessment and he was considered to be in the 5th percentile for speech and therefore did qualify for free services. I now have a speech therapist coming to our house once a week for 45 minutes to do play based therapy with him and then she gives me tips and exercises that I can do with him throughout the week. We have only had three sessions so far but little by little he is adding a few more words here and there. Although it is still soon to tell, she thinks he is probably just a late bloomer and a lot of kids are. So don't worry too much yet if it might not be a bad idea if you are concerned at all and want some peace of mind to get an assessment for your daughter and see what the therapists think. Good luck!

if she talks more when she's just with her mom, tell em she talks fine at home and is just being shy.

i can't believe people are so rude. I'd have a hard time not blurting out, "wow, that was a rude thing to say."

The problem is that people seem to think that because they have an opinion you want to hear it!!

My advice to you would be to respond just as bluntly as the "nice people" sharing their judgments. If they tell you you aren't doing a good job you can always reply with: "Well aren't you glad it doesn't concern you!!!" Children of all ages develop at their own pace-- verbal skills aren't measurable in the same way other skills are & even the "measurable" skill timetables are subjective. Speaking greatly depends on the personality of the child, therefore if they are shy they will talk less!!

My son has "cluster speech" where he repeats words or ideas (different that stuttering). I am sure that there are some people who have a different opinion of him (or me) because of it. What I try to remember is-- THEY do not matter. How my child feels about himself is what matters to me. They can think what they want- they do not affect my life!!

It sounds like you are doing all that you can to immerse your daughter in language: verbal, written, etc. Be a DUCK and let the comments roll off your back like water off a duck.

Good Luck to you!
A.

Don't let people get to you. I know it's hard because I used to get it a lot too.

My son has Ectodrmal Dysplasia. Basically it affects hair, teeth, nails, skin, and a whole host of other things. My son has horrible eczema that are often infected. One day we had the cable guy out to fix our cable and he called the police because my son happened to have a breakout around his eyes. While I appreciate the concern it really is frustrating that the guy would do that rather than ask us a simple question.

Anyway, children learn and do things in there own time. The fact that your 20 month-old is learning new words every day speaks volumes about the kind of care you are giving her. People just can't help but give their two cents. My advice is to smile and nod. I know it's hard to have people tell you your not doing a good job but try to ignore them as best you can. If you have someone who is persistent and just won't let it rest just say, Thank you for your concern but the doctor isn't worried about it and neither am I. Then gently remind them that every child is different and that they all learn differently.

I hope this helps. Just remember you're doing a great job. Children are hard even when they do everything perfectly and "right on time". Congratulations on a job well done and keep it up!

S. - don't let it bug you!!! You are her mom!!! You know how much reading you're doing with her, be strong! Maybe she's soaking it all in right now. In a few months when you take her to her next well care appointment, you can talk to her doctor about it and in the meantime, keep reading with her, talking with her, labeling items verbally with her, etc... We all learn differently and in our own time. Hope this encourages you!

I have 4 kids, 2 of whom didn't talk on "cue." One of them, did need tubes in her ears, the other is just fine at 4 and talking more than ever. EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT. If you have had any medical problems ruled out, then RELAX. Unfortunately we moms have a comparison issue that never seems to go away. Enjoy your child for her differences. You will come across many kids who do something better than her, but in the end you will be glad she is who she is! Good luck.

S.,

Every child is different and I don't really think anyone can tell you she's not talking ENOUGH. The fact that she learns new words every day is great. It sounds like you are doing great. Don't focus too much on what other people think. Just enjoy every little milestone she has. When someone says something like that, you just say, "I think she is doing great." If you are raising a happy healthy child, you are doing the right thing. It is sad how people can be so judgemental. I have had my share of experience with that. You just have to be happy with yourself and your family and brush off comments that would make you feel differently. Hope this helps.

Dear S. I feel that you cant let what other people say bother you. Just keep up the good work and give lots off love to your child thats the best thing. Each child is great in there own way and have there own talents so just learn to not listen to others and in joy your Child
C. J.

I would try to not stress about what other people are saying. Every child progresses and learns things at a diffrent rate. I know kids who weren't saying anything at the age of 2! Your child is learning at her own speed and will will start talking when she is ready. If you are worried, take her to the doc and make sure it is not a medical reason. Or just take everyday and love your sweet baby and stop listening to people who think they know everything! Good luck! A.

Dear S.,
Tell them to bug off and mind their own business.
Your daughter is fine I'm sure and will talk a blue streak before you know it.
I'm sure if you think about it, she doesn't say much when other people are around,
That's called being shy.
I raised three boys and have 10 grandchildren, and they are all different and all learned different and all talk at different times.
Take care and good luck, but you best bet is to stop worrying about what people say.

Don't you just love the comparisons between children? It's so stressful when family, friends even strangers comment on your child. My 19 month old (17.5 adjusted) isn't really talking either. We're always talking to her with everyday talk, please, thank you, etc but she's not there. And if your baby was a preemie people don't understand the adjusted age and still compare to full term babies. Hang in there and just ignore the doubters. :)

They say that kids work on their own time schedule, and all kids are different. I talked to my mom, whom works for the Utah County Health Dept. in the Baby your Baby program. She has gone to plenty of conferences and read research about speech and said that a one year old should be saying one word sentences, two year olds should be saying two word sentences and so on. So... if your child is only 20 months, (one year old), then it is perfectly normal that he or she is only saying one word sentences. DON'T WORRY!!!! It takes time for them to start talking and believe me, when he or she decides to start talking, they usually don't stop. Or at least mine doesn't. Good luck!!! I hope it helps!

Hi S.,

I am a mom of five. I have a daughter 22 and four boys ages 10 1/2, 6 1/2, 4 and an almost 3 year old. I have always (and still do) read to everyone of my children often. We have never spoken baby talk to any of them. Each one of them talked in their own time.

My daughter talked very early and could talk your ear off. She still does to this day. My oldest son didn't talk as early as her, but by the time he was three he spoke pretty clearly. He today, does very well in school and is doing great in all areas of his life. In fact, when he graduated from Kindergarten, he was placed in a 1st/2nd grade combo class because of his reading skills. They will not put a 1st grader with 2nd graders unless they are above their level. My 6 year old talked early and like my daughter talks your ear off. He does have a slight lisp, which is him and his personality. He, like my son and daughter is at the top of his class, and because of his lisp is still not considered to have any kind of a speech problem. My four year old, well other people could hardly understand him very well up until a year ago. Of course my husband and I could understand everything he said (parents seem to do that with their children!!). Today, he is another one you can't get to be quite!!! Of course my three year old is only 15 months younger than his brother and wants to be just like him and his other brothers. He does everything early.

If your daughter is trying to say new words and you can pretty much understand what she is communicating with you, well I think that is all that matters. I wouldn't pay much attention to the harsh judgments that other's have placed on you. If there are no medical issues to be concerned with (hearing or otherwise) and if you know in your heart that you spend enough quality time reading, playing and raising your daughter, that is all that matters. In fact, over the course of your time raising your daughter, you will probably encounter people telling you what they think you are doing wrong in other areas of her life.

The point is no one can force a baby to talk if they are not ready. They all do in their own time. And there sure isn't a set time when they do. Children are not machines and do not come pre-programmed. She is much to young to expect so much. She is not even ready for preschool yet which is more likely an age to be worried about speech problems!!!! Enjoy this time and make notes on all the "cute and funny" words she is trying to say. One day she will be talking up a storm and all this will be missed, beleive me!!!!!

Sorry for such a long response, but I hope you feel somewhat better.

R.

Do not listen to anyone telling you aren't doing a good job! Lordy, people need to keep their mouths shut! If she is saying a new word daily that is huge! Some kids progress differently. The one person to evaluate her talking and words are your Pediatrician. If he or she feels she is sufficiently doing what she should then that is all you need to worry about. Tell people that say anything, is "maybe she doesn't want to be judged so she is saving her words for someone else!!!!"...ugh! Some kids are just shy too. I wouldn't worry too much if your Dr isn't worried! HUGS! You are a great mom!!!!

Hi S.,
We, too, read LOTS to our son as a baby and he, too, loved it, even demanded it. He loved looking at books,also, before he even had the motor skills to safely hold them (got a couple of eye jabs from pages of books he couldn't quite hold steady). When my son went for his 2 year checkup, he was found to be behind in his verbal skills, and we were told to consult with a speech therapist. Long story short, he ended up just fine, gaining verbal skills in a growth/plateau/growth/plateau manner (as he did in other areas of development). By the time he was 4, he was using vocabulary way beyond his years. Though he didn't take to the push to learn to read so typical in kindergarten these days, once he was ready, he took off. By 3rd grade he was reading 4-5 years beyond his age level. He's 12 now, a strong reader and a fantastically imaginative creative writer. I wonder if he was just soaking it all in and processing it as a baby until he was developmentally ready to do something with it. Anyway, I went through a lot of stress for nothing. So, though I can't say what's up with your little one, remember there is such a huge range of "normal;" and she is only 20 months old. And, I know there is a lot of fear based though well- meant advice out there. Surround yourself with lots of mothers of babies whose parenting style you respect and resonate with, see for yourself the wide range of "normal" among those babies, and go with your gut on how to proceed. Good luck! P.S. I believe Albert Einstein didn't speak til he was 3 or 4.

My son is 22 mo and only says a few words. At th 18 mo appt the dr. was concerned and asked about his hearing. He hears fine, follows instructions really well, responds to his name, etc. I am not too concerned about it. The worst part is just trying to figure out what he wants, so I went out and got the baby signing time dvd's from the library. He enjoys the show on TV so I thought we could expand his "vocabulary" by teaching him more signs. I know kids his age can often speak in complete sentences, but I also know plenty of kids who begin speanking later. I'm not really worried about it. I think he will start talking soon enough...and then we will spend half the day telling him to be quiet! ;o)

I am a mom of five. I have two girls who are 12 and 10 who talked up a storm by the time they were your little girl's age, and two boys, one who is eight and one who is two who don't. The first is autistic. He started out talking, but had very few words. It was because he wasn't talking much that we had him evaluated. He lost all of his words, and though he understands a lot more now, still doesn't talk. My two year old is talking, but did the same thing, lost some words and skills he had, and now is only saying single cyloble words. We are having him evaluated next week for autisum as well. I am not telling you all of this to say that your daughter is autistic, but to say, hang in there. It is hard when people judge you. I had the oppisite problem with both my boys. When they were not talking enough, people were telling me not to worry, that they were just slower in their development, and that they would catch up. People told me I was crazy to worry. And all though I have raised to "normal" girls, it feels like I don't know how to raise a "normal" child anymore, and hope I do ok with my last, who is three months.

For your daughter: it really wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated by your local group who surves children who are delayed. It will do two things for you. It will either let you know that she isn't that far behind, and that she is very typical for her age, and there for give you some amo against criticisum, or two, it will show you if she is behind, how much, and you can get help catching her up. Most areas provide free services, including speech theropy for kids up to three. Though there is a good chance she will be fine if she is still learning new words, especially daily, it can't hurt to have a speech therapist help you to help her to gain even more faster, if she is behind. Do yourself a favior, and just look into it. You will both be better off for it, with piece of mind, and/or help if you need it. And don't take other people too seriously, unless you feel what they say has merit.

S.,

Don't you dare pay any mind to those who are critizing you! Your child will talk at her own pace. Each child is distincly different, that is what makes us all unique. It sounds like you are doing a great job! Don't pay the judgmental people any mind. She will do it when she is ready.

When my first child, now 3, started to talk when she was two years old. I got all sort of commments like you are getting, pay them no mind.

Keep on doing what you're doing. Ignore those commments from people who don't know what they are talking about!

Hi S.-
I have a 3 year old son and when he was 22 months I started getting told the same thing. My older daughter talked very well by the time she was his age, so I started to worry. Like you, I read a lot to him and he knew a lot of words but it was hard to understand him when he tried to put the words together. Everyone told me that he should be saying more and he should be easier to understand. I talked to his pediatrician about it. His Dr. told me that he was doing fine. Some kids develope differently and at different times then others. If you are worried I would suggest talking to your dr. about it. Everyone has their own opinion about things and some people are very insensitive about sharing their opinion. Talk to someone who is an expert and knows what they are talking about. Good luck to you!

Hi S., I am a piano teacher of very young children and I know that there are many reasons some children take longer than others to learn ANYTHING, and the only way to judge what affects their speed of speaking or comprehension is to have extensive testing done. I have a 3 year old student who speaks in her own language, she seems totally clear with what she's saying but no one else can understand her. Her parents had her hearing tested and found there was nothing abnormal, but they feel sure its the way she hears that affects how she speaks. They too never speak baby talk to her. The amazing thing is, she has a perfect imitation of musical sounds and rhythm! Her pitch as she hums along with the music is perfect! I don't think anyone else should influence your own acceptance and continuing patience with her timing. Maybe when she's 4 you might worry, but offering a loving environment with your best efforts is all you need, and you seem to be doing just fine. Let everyone else's opinions go through you - just let the environment be her teacher. Add some classical music, that's my suggestion.

My son while had words starting at one (1/2 signs and 1/2 verbal) it wasn't until about 22 months or so that his vocabulary blossomed. Kids develop at different rates. Google some speech milestones and see where your child stands. If it's your pediatrician who is concerned that is one thing but your friends and family -- they should just leave it alone and definitely not be telling you, that you do not do a good job. Keep reading, encourage her to use words, when she uses a word, even if you can't understand repeat the correct word and use additional words. Ask her questions all the time, talk to her. Consider introducing sign language if you haven't already.. it is an amazing tool.

Again, it's pretty early to be concerned. Talk to her doctor and see if they are concerned. If not, keep doing what you do and tell those judmental people to keep their opinions to themselves.

Every child is different. Always remember that. If you are actually concerned, you could probably contact an Early Intervention program near you (our is run through a local school district) and have your daughter evaluated. If you aren't concerned, then you'll just have to let people know that your daughter is just saving her words until she really has something to day. I have friends whose children have been very quiet until well after 2 yrs, then all of a sudden, all the words they had been hearing for all that time came flooding out and people's concern flipped to amazement. All kids are different. And if the people criticizing don't still have little ones of their own, they may have a selective memory.

I understand where you are coming from on this because my three-year old is in a similar situation.

As others have posted, kids develop differently and at different speeds. As long as she's making progress and isn't showing signs of slow or halted development anywhere else, I wouldn't worry. Talk to your pediatrician if it bothers you or if you have questions.

As for the insensitive comments, perhaps tell them that she's happy, healthy and that's really all that matters to you. You can also tell them what your pediatrician says about her development and if he isn't worried, why should you be?

Everybody seems to have an opinion, whether they are a parent or not, about how to raise kids. I've found that by telling them what they doctor says, it usually shuts down their rude comments pretty fast.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have a almost 3 year old and she was born 14 weeks early so i already had challenges. people told me i was not doing this right or that i was pushing her or i was pushing enough. My own Dr. told me I was doing everything wrong . After about 3 months of it and my husband telling me we are doing fine I fired my Dr. and told him where to go. my daughter did not talk for the longest time know I can't get her to be quiet. They talk, walk, potty train in there own time don't let anyone make you feel like your doing everything wrong as long as you know in your heart that you are doing fine that is all that matters. Keep your head up .
R.

i am a mother of 4 children. And all but the last one would learn a word and then not use it again. But when they were around 3 years old they started talking in sentences. If you are really worried there are free programs out there that can evaluate your child.

Hi, S.. I also have a 20 month old daughter. It sounds like you are doing everything you should be doing at her age. Some children do develop slower than others, but it seems like she is talking enough for her age. My daughter also loves to read books (one right after another), and has a very big vocabulary, but I do know how it is to get negative critique from others. I know this is not on the same issue, but I can relate. My daughter took an interest in using the potty a couple of months ago, and I too have gotten a lot of negative feedback from others because of our decision to start potty training. I don't see how we're in the wrong since she is the one who initiated the whole thing. But as I've found, there will always be someone who has something to say. I've just learned to ignore people's comments (I was also letting it upset me). I know that we are very good parents, and the bottom line is that it really is no one else's business! Keep doing what you're doing with your daughter. It sounds like you and your husband are wonderful parents!!
-K. C.

I don't know why people have to say things like that! Honestly you are doing a great job, probably more than a lot of parents do, kids just develop differently. My first two spoke a ton and very clearly. My third however was slow to do everything and now she is almost 3 and most people still can't understand her. Just keep doing what you are doing, don't let anyone else pull you down and she will probably start talking sentences. She might just not have anything to say.

My suggestion is to quit listening to other people. Especially if they're going to say something negative about your child's development. I think she's doing just fine. All kids develop at different speeds and just because someone else's child is talking more at the same age doesn't mean there's anything wrong with yours or with how you're teaching her. My daughter was talking full sentences by that age, but my sons (twins- 21 months) Can hardly say more than mama. Don't even worry about it. And quit listening to those people. You're doing fine, and so is your daughter.

I have a 4 year old who is in preschool. At 3, we decided that maybe he was not speaking like he should. He literally had created his own language. If you didn't know his language you couldn't understand him. He could understand you, but most people could not understand him. We would get his attention by holding his cheeks in the palm of our hands and repeat words to help correct him and he would then repeat the holding the cheek thing and repeat the word in his language. It was very comical. But we put him in speech therapy at the local school. She gave great ideas that I would work on at home diligently. Some of those ideas is to involve them in everything and talk about what you are doing and what you are using. For example, make a fruit salad and see how many names they can name, if they can't then you say the name and have them repeat it back to you. She also suggested that as he talks, if he isn't saying a word clearly or if he uses his own language to say the word correctly and have him repeat(something we were already doing). But we became more consistent. But after a few months, I realized that my little guy was fighting me on going to speech. I started paying attention to his teacher and realized that she was frustrated with him and he did not like her. They just rubbed on each other the wrong way. So after Thanksgiving I pulled him out of speech and took matters into my own hands. He has bloomed, between preschool (which he loves) and my consistent at home, he speaks more clear than most of the other 4 year olds around that were speaking early. And as we go into grocery stores, he walks down the isles and names everything he knows, and asks what things are that he doesn't. His last great accomplishment is that he finally got the "S" on the front of his big sisters name. She was feeling very bad that hers was the only name he could not say correctly, and yesterday, he walked around saying her complete name Sarah all day long. It became his personal goal to say her name correctly. I think he could sense that it bothered her. But his favorite word is "That's awesome". With two older sisters, my little guy didn't have a chance at talking nor a need. Now he has realized that we care what he thinks also.

So in the middle of my blabbing off. Don't worry what other people say. Even my ped. didn't think my little guy had a problem. It was my searching it out to get help because I felt there was a problem. People can be rude. I have gotten so many rude comments I could write a book...and not a skinny one either. My favorite one was with my 2nd daughter. She is very large for her age and has been since she was 18 months old. At one point, (she was 2) I was asked in the grocery store why I would let my 5 year old act like a 2 year old. I simply replied, because she IS 2! The person was very embarrassed and walked off with his tail between his legs. Just come up with some cute (not rude) remark for a comeback and make it a game. Then it doesn't bother you as much. If you are doing everything as a parent to allow her to speak, then don't sweat it. And if nothing else, as you walk through the store, hold a conversation with your daughter, and don't allow comments to come through. I did this with my daughter and I found people loved the funny comments that came out of that girls mouth and nothing rude about her size was mentioned again. They were too busy laughing at her comments. Good luck

Tell people to shove it.

Well, maybe not so rudely.

no one can say when a child "should" do anything, just that things eventually happen.

"She's a fantastic communicator"
"You wouldn't believe the way she tells a story"
"She's developing quite a vocabulary. Last night she said Bug Off."
"She's already reading. What a whiz!"

It's really okay to tell people they don't know what they're talking about when it comes to your kids. Be sarcastic, be honest, be rude. Just be HONEST. No "Do you think so?" "Oh, well, maybe." "I think I'm doing a great job."
Especially don't take responsibility, like the last example. It's like an admission of guilt. There's nothing to be guilty of, and it just makes the one who said something believe they're right.

You know she's doing fine. Language centers in the brain and the way language developed is something linguists, including myself, continue to study and observe, but something that no one can predict.

There are lots of children who are only saying just a little bit. Children go on their own time. The only person I would trust to say I am not doing a good job would be the pediatrician not someone who knows nothing about your child. I have 2 children well really teenagers but they both took their time on everything. Your little girl is saying words so I would not worry about it. My husband and I also do foster care and we have gotten 4 year olds who could not speak a word now that is not doing a good job. Have a great day

Relax! If you feel comfortable with her progress, knowing she says new words everyday, ignore those who don't know her like you do. Unless she is mumbling or pointing and grunting, she should be ok. Is she developmentally at her age level? If so, just tell everyone she is a woman of few words with those she doesn't know very well. Heck, Einstein didn't speak until he was seven because he didn't have anything to say. Look where he went in life! Enjoy her!
S.

Dear S.,

You sound like a wonderful mom, and you have nothing to fear. There are moms out there who don't make the time to read to their kids on a regular basis. The fact that you are providing your daughter a wonderful, loving and interactive environment is sufficient. It is important that you do not stress over this otherwise your daughter will begin to carry your burden.

Continue doing what you are doing and allow your daughter her own pace. She is registering and absorbing everything, including what you are feeling. Ignore the public views, and go with a mother's intuition. I've had five kids to raise, and I myself, was a slow learner, perhaps due to the fact that I savored each moment in the learning process.

Your daughter is a thinker, feeler, and observer..probably going to be a very bright child. In a world of short attention spans she has a head start in mastering her concentration level. You are contributing to that when you hold her in your arms and feel peace in your heart.

I haven't turned out so bad on an intellectual level,even though my parents, their friends etc. said I was a slow learner, the last at everything in the development stage. They compared me to others, but I probably enjoyed savoring each stage I was in.

Raising my first child, I had a neighbor who had a baby the same age, and she was the first at everything (walked before she was 1 and potty trained very early; however, she became a bed wetter). My neighbor always compared our babies, and for a while I was concerned, but I learned to let it go by listening to my own child, and enjoying each stage she was in.

I hope you find comfort in this letter S.. You can go to my site at "stairwaytosecrets" and click on the "about" button to learn of me. When you go through the other pages you'll see I didn't turn out so bad.

R.

I have a son who is 20 months old and he is in the exact same stage. He says new words almost everyday but he doesn't speak speak super clearly. He is my third child and all three of them are different.
My middle child hardly ever spoke. We took her in and had her hearing tested, took her to a speech therapist, asked our doctor. They all said the same thing she is healthy and it will come. When she was about two and a half she just started talking in full sentences perfectly clearly using words like "I think" and "probably" "no thank you, maybe later." I was floored.
You sound like you're doing everything great. I mean just look at the 17mo baby on the news this week that can read. They read to their baby all the time and now she can read. I read to my kids all the time but my 20 mo son is not reading. But, he is healthy, happy, and continually developing I couldn't ask for anything more.

The single most annoying part of motherhood is having to listen to other people, sometimes well-meaning people-- tell you what you should do, or what you're doing wrong, or how they would do it. Your child is unique, and you need to just ignore these people, particularly those who are telling you that you are not doing a good job! Yikes! They have no right to say such a thing. Just let those comments roll off. Your daughter will speak in her own time and in her own way. There is no way to tell what "enough" is since every child is different.

I know it's hard to do, but relax, enjoy your daughter, and let her learn at her own speed. It sounds like you are doing everything right. It'll come, and tell those judgmental folks to buzz off.

S., Hello, I am a physical therapist and I have worked with kids in the past. But, I am not a speech therapist. Kids develop at their own rate. Your daughter sounds very normal to me. You may want to introduce sign. I have used it with both kids and it has only helped with their speech. You can get signs to use at a library or Discovery Toys does have a great resource. I sell it if you are interested (contact me at ____@____.com)
I would keep up what you are doing. Talk to your pediatrician to see what they think. Is she babbling? Making sounds? Exploring with her voice? If she is and just not making sounds you understand, just keep listening. My son was saying some words at 18/20 mo but, somewhere just shy of 3 my mother in law was here and said..."It sounds like you are saying"....and he was speaking in a full sentence I had just never understood it. So, continue to read her gestures and put words to things you think she might be saying. I think it will come. Some kids do have delays but, I think most would say 20 mo is too early to tell. The sign language helps them develop LANGUAGE. there is more to speech than just what comes out and you are doing the right thing by talking to her alot and reading. good luck.

Please don't worry about what other people think. As long as she is progressing she is fine. You are doing all the right things. Kids progress at their own rate. Some don't walk until 18 months. If you are really concerned talk with your pediatrician. You can also check a milestone chart (google it) for what "normal" is for a 20 month old child's vocabulary. Then turn a deaf ear to all the chatter!

If you haven't already, make sure you bring the issue up with your doctor. Sometimes a speech delay is a sign of something else going on. That being said, my daughter didn't say much until after her second birthday. She is now seven and has a better vocabulary and speaks more clearly than her friends that were early talkers. Every child develops at their own pace, so if you're talking to and spending time with her you're not doing anything wrong. Good luck.

S.,
It's very common for babies not to fully develope their venacular skills till well after 3 years of age. Your doing everything positive by talking, reading, modeling vocabulary to your daughter.
It has been my exprience when other moms critisize or judge, it is because it makes them feel better about their own difficientcies.
Stay true in your own heart about yourself and forget about what others have to say. Your daughter is fine.

S.,
It sounds like you are doing all the right things to me. All babies are different and go at their own pace. I don't know why people are telling you that she isn't talking enough. A two year old usually is saying a variety of words and barely starting to put a couple of words together. Your daughter is not even two yet and it sounds to me like she may be a little ahead. Don't worry about what others tell you. Just keep doing what you are doing. If you are still concerned then you should talk to your pediatrician.
Hope this helps,
L.

Hi S.,

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling bad about this. My best advice is...don't worry. My son didn't say much until he turned two and then the words came on like a waterfall. He is 8 now and actually speaks clearer than many of his friends and has quite a large vocabulary. I believe that some kids just like to listen, learn and then speak when they are ready. If down the road things are not progressing you can contact the Children's Speech and Reading Center.

Hang in there and try no to let other people's judgements wear on you, it sounds like you are doing a great job!

Have a great day!
R. www.myherblady.com

Your daughter is just fine. I have 3 year old boy and girl twins. Both, due to prematurity had some milestone/ developmental delays. They are both fine. My daughter is extremely verbal. My son like his father is not- He learns everything with his body. He is very interested in moving parts- Dad's a trade mechanic (genes :)He is currently in a new beginnings course 1 day a week for 1 1/2 hours. She no longer qualifies- talks too much like her mom. Both My son and daughter had developmental delays at your babys age. What I found is they are taking in so much from the world, they tend to focus on what they like and want to learn. If your pediatrician has no worries she is probably developing normally for her age. If you are still concerned most counties and community centers have preschools or classes kids can take with their peers that encourage talking. When my son was tested for new beginnings in Jefferson County had they asked him what color thomas was or who is each of thomas's friends they'd have gotten a lot further because if you weren't interested in thomas he wasn't interested in you. Personality has a lot to do with speech. She may be observing a lot more than she says but she is beginning to understand and what she understands is more indicative of vocabulary at her age than actual speech. She probably has the "Da" sound in the alphabet as it is the easiest to sound to make. Work on words with sounds she easily makes "dog". Flash cards with pictures she may recognize will also increase vocabulary. Get a good currency for participation with verbal games, both mine loved it when i filled a balloon with air and let it go to fly around the room. They learned "please" and "thank you" from that. Stop and Go games were also a great one and Stop was really important to me. lol.
Those same words above can give you a good start for signing words. It is really easy for a baby to learn please by simply rubbing their hand in a circular motion on their chest. Thank you is just like blowing a kiss without the kiss. Signing worked really well with my son. He used please, airplane, milk, stop, help, we found when we gave him signs he used them and his level of frustration went down and he was happier guy.
Well I hope these tips help. Both mine have been in occupational and speech therapy for the last year and I can say I am grateful my county provided it. Our therapists made me more creative in encouraging development in more of our activities. Jumping comes soon. Lots of sensory experimentation like pouring sand on your head or spagetti, watch out for peanut butter. My two got the jar open and painted the kitchen.
The coming months are fun. So when it bugs you that people are judgemental you need to speak your mind. We were all taught if you haven't got anything nice to say. "MIND YOUR BUSINESS" remind judgemental people.

Best Wishes

Well I would not worry to much. I have a 24 month old son and all he can say is MaMa. I have set up play groups and he has a speach therapist as well, because his pedetrician says he needs it. Everyone tells me that I am a horrible mother, but things will come on there own.
My aunt had two kids 14 months apart and the younger child started talking before the older one. So I dont worry too much. I know it can get frusterating sometimes, and you just want to hit the people who tell you how horrible of a mother you are upside the head. But trust me life goes on. Dont sit and focus on the bad things, think of how many milestones your baby has accomplished.

I am sure that you have had plenty of responses to this, but I will give you mine too and hope it helps. I didn't talk until I was 3 years old, my sister that is younger than I am spoke before I did. Kids learn at there own pace, and all kids are different. She will be just fine, try not to listen to people that are telling you she isn't talking enough. You are doing a great job, I am sure.
T.

S.,
Hi, first off tell these know-it-alls to mind their own business. Secondly take a deep breath and relax so that you can enjoy your daughter without feeling the pressure to make her "perform" the way someone else thinks she should. We have a 25 month old boy who wants to talk but a lot of nothing comes out. He is perfectly healthy and very smart...just like you're daughter. Keep the t.v off, go with books and fun/teaching type videos and or music and let nature run it's course. God bless you!

That's ridiculous! How dare somebody tell you that you aren't doing a good job. I am sure you are doing everything right. All kids talk on their own time at different ages. There is no set time!! My nephew who is now 19 didn't talk until he was about 3 and even then you couldn't understand him. Turns out he had a few speech problems. FYI-he also went from 7 grade to 9th grade and is highly intelligent. Not to mention, my cousin, who is the same age as my nephew talked really early and flunked out of highschool!! From what I have seen with my own family and working in daycares talking early or late doesn't really tell you much!!! It sounds like your daughter is right on track with the words she knows and the ones she is learning. You as a mother know your child best. If you feel it is really a concern then talk to your pediatrician otherwise just let it go and try and blow off the people that obviously don't know what they are talking about! I feel for you! Hang in there! Soon it will just be a memory! Good luck!

T.

Some people are so rude. It does not make you a BAD mom just because your child is not up to speed with normal standards. Who is to say what is NORMAL. Please thank them for their concern and be proud of her & your accomplishments everyday. Every child is different and even will be in your family, so we as adults should not compare them to anyone unless there is a medical concern that you may have.
Some kids talk only around the people they are comfortable with. Some kids may not have to talk when asking for things, etc. We make it very clear to our church nursery babies to say Please and Thank you or to ask nicely when they want something. We ask them to use their words. This may be what do you already. Good job mom :)

My question for you would be do YOU have any concerns?? I was in just the opposite situation. I was concerned about my son's speech as he was 18 months and had 3 consanants only, n, m and d. Everyone, including my pediatrician, kept telling me "he is just a boy", "he's a second child", "you need to wait until he is 2 and then see", etc, etc. Well, I felt something was wrong so I had him evaluated by Childfind. The program is a statefunded, free (AWESOME) program for kids with delays. If you are concerned, call them. If not, I think you are doing fine. I think mommies usually know best---seriously. Give yourself that! I am sure you are doing awesome! Would love to chat with you more! And btw, my son has been in speech therapy since that time and is now doing TERRIFIC! GOOD LUCK!

Every child is different. I have 3 and you never know how fast or slow they will pick things up. Dont let everyone get to you by saying those things, im sure your child is doing great!

C.

Hi S., I'm the mother of a now 6 year old boy. When he was between 2-1/2 and 3 years old he only had a vocabulary of 4 words and, like you, we read to him regularly and encouraged him to "use his words" rather than point to want he wanted. His sister, who is 4 years older, talked at 9 months, so we were a little concerned, but many people kept telling us not to compare them. She used to do all the talking for him so we thought for a while he was just lazy in the talking department. We finally took him to a speech therapist and he was tested in speech, language and a hearing test. His hearing was fine, but he needed some help with his speech and language (forming the sounds and putting them all together correctly). When he turned 3, he was enrolled in a preschool for speech and language at the local public school and it worked wonders. Once he turned 4 he was talking up a storm and now he is one of the top readers in his class and loves to read chapter books. Now my story may be a little extreme and your daughter is nowhere near that stage, so, please, don't be discouraged about your daughter and don't listen to other people telling you "she's not talking enough and you aren't doing a good job." She'll talk in her own time. There is no rule as to how many words they have to be saying by a certain age. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with her and doing everything right. Hang in there, before you know it you won't be able to keep her from talking!

That used to drive me crazy! My 1st ( now 8 yrs old), said mama, dada and about 5 other words until he turned 2. Then he started talking in full sentences and hasn't shut up since :) Keep reading to her, that's great for a lot of reasons. The most useful thing I read when battling the opinions of everyone and their mother was as long as the child shows appropriate comprehension, speech develops at different times for different kids. The only thing I would add (because I have a niece with profound hearing loss) is make sure your daughter able to hear. Offering her a treat from across the room (when she can't be reading your lips or body language) is a good place to start. And finally, enjoy the quiet, it's coming to an sooner than you realize!:)

people really can be rude. if your daughter is talking and she is saying new words all the time i would'nt worry too much. i used to work for a child development resource center and have seen lots of little ones who developed at different rates when it came do their speech. here are the speech standards of a two year old(24mos):
listens for the meaning of words,not just
sounds,understands simple questions and
commands,identifies body parts,uses mainly names of
things,actions,persons and situations in his/her
language,carries on a "converstion" with self and dolls
, asks "what's this?", "what's that?", and "where's my?",
sentence length is composed of 2-3 words, refers to self
by name,uses 2 word negative phrases such as "not
go", "not right" , "no want", names pictures, forms some
plurals by adding "s"(book to books), has around 300 words
in speaking vocabulary,asks for drink, toilet, food, listens to stories with pictures,.
If your little girl is doing at least some or most of this stuff she is probably fine. if she isn't keep working with her, maybe put her in a play group, or preschool a few days a week so she can practice talking with her peers, and give it some time. if you have concerns in 6 mos contact your local early intervention agency( i can help you find them if you need, just write me a personal note) or talk with her pediatrician. and as for those nosy people, tell them your daughter is just fine and you are doing lots of things to develope her language skills. i have seen tons of kids have a sudden surge in language between 2 and 3 so there may be more talking in her near future! best of luck, you sound like your doing great!!! ( if you want more info about helping her speech i can e-mail it to ya too)

Find some new people to hang out with. Every baby is different. Yours is just fine.

My brother in law didn't talk until the adults around him were talking about taking him to a speech therapist, wherupon he said "I don't need no speech therapist!" Kids talk at their own rate

Hi S., I had the same problem with my daughter. She has always been advanced in almost everything, and then I along with friends and family noticed that she wasn't talking at the rate all of the other kids were. By her 2nd B-day she was doing a little better, but still not good as I thought she should be. We did the same thing with her...read books, no baby talk and so on. Then about two months after her B-day, she started putting little sentences together. Now at 2 and a half she holds a whole conversation. So I guess what I am getting at is just keep on doing what you are doing. You can't force her to talk. As far as I am concerened, you are doing things just fine. She will get it on her own terms. And she is not even 2 yet. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so these people have no right judging you. Good luck and keep on reading to her. That is the best teaching for her right now.

Every child is different. Don't let anyone tell you that you are doing a bad job. They must not be parents, or not very good ones. Kids will talk when they are ready. I have 4 kids, some talked fast, a few didn't really say much until they turned 2. She will talk, and when she does, she probably will not stop!! Mine never do!! :0) Don't let others tell you what you should and shouldn't do. You are the mom and as long as you love her and keep caring you will know what to do. Mother's instinct is the best medicine! Good luck and get new PEOPLE! --H.--

ok S.
As nicely as possible(and I'm no good at that) tell everyone that your daughter is a smart little girl who you and your husband WILL NOT put on a timeline. Kids don't grow or advance the same. and i've always heard the rule of thumb is that children should have the same number of words in their vocabulary as many months old as they are. example, 20 months=20words. I'm sure she is fine. my nephew didn't start talking until he was four. he could, just didn't, so it could be a choice thing.
as for the people who are telling you you aren't doing a good job, well, you know the saying of a long walk off a short pier? yeah, see, no good at the nice thing. who are they to judge what kind of mother you are. I'm sure your daughter is happy, healthy, well fed, etc. so long as she feels loved, you are a phenomenal mother! and that what matters the most. good luck
A.
____@____.com

Hi S.,

Children develop at different rates, but if you want a free speech evaluation, just call Early Childhood Connections, 1-888-777-4041 and they will set up a speech evaluation free of charge. You can check this out at www.earlychildhoodconnections.org. I hope this helps!

Shirley S

Hi there,

I have grown kids and a 4 year old at home. Each one of them developed at different time tables - Especially in the area of language.

There are always going to be people who think they know more than you as a parent - forget about it. The only thing I would suggest - and you probably already are - is make her ask for every thing she wants and don't give her anything if she doesn't ask for it with words.

E.

Hi S., my son is just about 20 months also and is not speaking much. He babbles a lot and says a handful of words. He understands everything and can follow simple instructions, so I'm confident it's not a hearing issue. Sometimes late speech development is an early sign of autism, but it is only one sign among many (you can google autism to find out the others). You could have your baby checked by the pediatrician and then evaluated by a speech pathologist, if that would make you feel better.
We are going to wait and see where our little guy is at when he's 24 months...one of the moms at my school has three boys, she said none of them spoke until they were 2 and they are all EXTREMELY intelligent, gifted, in fact.
As for judgmental people, that is hard to avoid! Be confident that you are doing the best you can. :) No two kids are exactly alike and they each develop on their own schedule. I'm far from an expert, but it sounds like you are doing a great job and giving your daughter what she needs to build a foundation for language production.

You are on the right track...so don't worry about what other people say. Every child develops differently and at their own pace. If she suddenly stops progressing then you should be worried and get her in to a specialist...if she is progressing you have nothing to worry about.
If you are genuinely worried about her speech you can have her evaluated by a speech pathologist. If you have a university in your town you can probably get a free screening there. Then you could tell those people who comment on her speech what you have done about it. good luck. :) Amy

S.,

Don't listen to what other people say. It is easy to say something negative and not positive. You are doing a great job with your daughter, she will pick up words when she's comfortable. I had the same thing happen with my daughter, she didn't say much of anything until she was 18 months old. Some people had the nerve to tell me she was "slow". I spoke with my pediatrician and he said she was developing normally. Stop letting others get to you. Every child develops in their own way, at their own pace.their own way, at their own pace.

M. K

I was a stay at home mom myself. I am also a clinical therapist. I would tell all of those people who say that your daughter is not talking enough to mind their own business. You did not say if this daughter was the youngest, but if she is sometimes they talk later because the siblings will talk for her. I worked in our churches 21/2 year old class for five years and some of the ones who were that age still did not say much. Relax, she will talk when she is ready and you even said that she is saying new words everyday. Again, tell others to SHUT UP!! nicely. Their advice is only worth the amount you paid for it. I guess that was zero. You know your child.