Every day when I pick my 2 year old up from day care, he has a bag (sometimes 2) of soiled clothes. When I ask why, they say he is wetting himself either at or after nap time. What puzzles me is that when I have him home with me, on the weekends or during holidays, I don't have problems with him wetting himself, even at or after nap time. I have witnessed, at the school, other toddlers vying for the teacher's attention to let them know they have to "go potty," but the teachers are often standing around chatting and not really paying attention to little ones tugging at their britches. One little girl had to potty so badly that after notifying the teacher 3 times, she just wet herself on the spot. I spoke with one teacher who boldly told me that my son was asked to go to the potty and he was being defiant that day and said "he didn't want to," so she told me that she told him that if he didn't go he was going to wet himself and he did just that, right on the spot. Now... the teacher says that at the age between 2-3 they no longer force or walk children to the potty, that they have to go willingly on their own and that they must be advanced enough to pull down and up their own clothing... but to me that seems unfair. It is not written as a school policy, to my knowledge, so I'm wondering if it's just teacher preference. One of the reasons I don't have wetting problems at home is because when I tell my son it's time to potty and he refuses, I hold his hand and walk him to the restroom whether he wants to or not and 100% of the time he potties as soon as I place him up on the potty. Should I speak with the day care administrator about this or do you think this a problem between parents and their toddlers and the school should not be responsible?
So, I spoke with the Director who said (and I quote) "Thank you for sharing with me. I will discuss with the morning and afternoon teachers and see what additional information I can gather to get a better idea of what is going on and I will get back to you." So, when I arrived at the school yesterday afternoon, the afternoon teacher seemed a little stand-offish, but I really didn't pay it much attention. What I did notice though was that there was yet another bag full of soiled clothing. :( So, when I arrived this morning, both his regular teacher and her aid seemed a little stand-offish too, they didn't really say much while I was putting his nap stuff in place, then the regular teacher asked if I "had time to discuss my email to the Director?" I said "Yes, would you like to discuss now?" She said (and I quote), "Yes, let's step outside the class so that there's no yelling." I found that statement very puzzling, but went outside the class with her. She seemed very, VERY irritated with what she thought was an accusation from me that they were not doing their job. I made it clear that when I talked to the Director I mentioned no names, but in fact said that I thought the accidents were occurring in the afternoon, after nap time and on the play ground. Once she realized that I was not insisting that the excessive accidents were happening on her watch, she quickly become more concerned with the fact that there were daily occurrences. She said that she would start coming in after her shift was over to monitor him and to see how the afternoon teacher was handling trying to prevent children from wetting themselves. I don't like being in this situation now, because I feel as though there will be bitterness, although my contact with the Director was out of pure concern for my son. I am also agitated that the Director "called me out" like that. I thought it very inappropriate and unprofessional. I'm not sure what to do at this point as the school year is two weeks from being over and he will move into the 3's class under a new teacher, whom I've interacted with before, through my first son. I think she will be better suited and more attentive. To answer a few questions, 1) my toddler is fully potty trained and not in transition. 2) this is a private school, my older son has been there since he was 3 and loves it and because of that and for convenience of location I choose to place my toddler there as well. My husband says to just let it go, that he'll be under better care soon, but I just think this is inexcusable, even if he is moving on... what about the parents whose children will be coming into that program at the school? Also, I really think I should say something to the Director, I thought she handled the ordeal very unprofessional, she also hasn't gotten back to me either... any opinions?
Talk to the administrator. The day is the home away from home while you work and it's their responsibility to teach personal hygiene & assist the toddlers learn the various stages of growth in this area. If the administrator is as neglectful as the teacher, it's time to find a new daycare & report this one to the people that regulate daycare liscensing for neglect.
Yes talk with an administrater. I work with 2 to 3 year olds. The ones that are potty trained go when we change diapers for the others. If they say they don't have to go then we take them in to try anyway. I would much rather take a child to the bathroom then change soiled clothes. If it isw not a designated bathroom time and the child has to go we take them then also. If the women are are talking excessivly and not doing their job they need to be reported. It is dangerous to the kids to not be paid attention too for a number of reasons.
So your 2 year old IS potty trained, or he is just wetting through the diaper at nap? My son had one teacher that I think didn't put the diaper on tight enough and he seemed to wet through at each nap. Another teacher, and at home, he usually doesn't have this problem. If it is a potty training issue, definitely talk to the director. You should all be on the same page with potty training. 2 seems really young to be able to self direct to the potty and pull pants off and on again. They need lots of encouragement and the right mindset for it, plus, lots of awareness from those around him. My son is now 2 and is currently asking to go to potty at daycare. The teacher lets him try, but for those that are truly training, she takes them to the potty about every 20 minutes and if they say they don't have to go, she has them try anyway. I think this is the correct way, and she keeps me updated daily so that we can be in sync. Good luck.
This new trend in daycares requiring such young kids to be fully and independently potty-trained is alarming to me. My generation (I'm 62) was one in which young children were expected to learn all sorts of things on somebody's theoretical schedule, especially potty-training.
It has the potential for causing all sorts of emotional problems, and did exactly that for more of my friends than I can count on fingers and toes. Some were in analysis or counseling for years, learning to deal with feelings of failure, shame and rage, rejection of authority, and even self-destructive coping mechanisms.
I hope this trend is something parents become aware of and stand up against. It is not fair to these wonderful, unique persons we have brought into the world.
There are so many dayschool's out there to choose from for your son, I would start looking elsewhere, you should never be in a situation as they have put you in. You dealt with the situation maturely. For your son's well being and your peace of mind, I would look elsewhere. My son was going to a babysitter at one point, and she was doing things that were making me feel uneasy, I felt bad about pulling him out and putting in a different place, but now looking back I am SOOOO glad I did, I feel so much more relaxed and at ease with my son where he is now. I will pray for you and your son.
Good Luck!
L.
yes this si a problem -- you are paying them to take care of your child and they are chatting.. you witnessed a child ask togo potty and wet themself..??
I would look for another day care.
This bothers me. I work in a day care. The 2- 3 yr olds are learning to use the toilet. There are many accidents at first, But a teacher that loves and knows your child will no his patterns and prompt him to use the rest room. Each class is required to post daily activities. These should include 5 restroom times during the day. It is a simple thing for the teacher to send him to the restroom at other times if he needs it. At our school that age eats at 11:00 so they use restroom and wash hands between 10:30 and 11:00 and go down sleep from 12:00 til 2:15 and restroom as soon as they wake up. A good teacher will have him go before nap and be the first after nap. Teacher is right on a few points we can not force them- but we can give out stickers when they do use the toilet. We can not force them- but a great relationship with teacher usually helps in the area- we talk with them and they most often will go.
The bother me part is teachers standing around talking while children need something- this is not acceptable and I would talk to the director. These teachers are being paid to care for your child not to ignore him. And teachers talking rather than paying attention to children will result in the children getting hurt.
I dealt with that with my daughter. You really have to walk a fine line here. These people care for your child when you are not there. You don't want his teacher angry and takign it out on him daily. However, you should go to admin if the proble is not resolved. You have witnessed teachers chatting ratehr than handling children's requests. That's worth mentioning.
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I dealt with that with my daughter. You really have to walk a fine line here. These people care for your child when you are not there. You don't want his teacher angry and takign it out on him daily. However, you should go to admin if the proble is not resolved. You have witnessed teachers chatting ratehr than handling children's requests. That's worth mentioning.
Sounds to me like you are throwing good money away!! You are paying this daycare to meet the needs of your child (this is a most basic one) and they are FAILING! What do you think you should do? I am really not trying to sound harsh towards you, but irresponsible daycare settings irritate me.
Your child is still a baby! He isn't responsible enough to take himself to the bathroom!!Please!! Someone needs to teach these people some child development!!! They NEED to be monitored!!! Contrary to our crazy society way of thinking anymore....children are just that!!!! They are NOT adults in mini bodies!!!! I think you know what I would do!!! Hope this helps!
If it were my child I would go immediately to the Director, if I didn't like what I'm told by the Director, I would immedialely begin to look for another facility. While I may not have children in day care at the present time, I've had both of my kids and grandchildren in day care previously, and it was important to me that the day care environment was positive, nurturing, safe and encouraging for my kids, almost like home, as this is their home away from home. Like a 2nd family, its been years since my kids were in day care, but when we run into people from thier daycare, we still hug and catch up on each others lives. If you ever have any questions about your daycare facility, you should always go to the Director, children should never be ignored, while workers chat, regardless of what the child needs at the time.
Yes, the school should be more helpful! Definitely talk to the Administrator. I am surprised the teachers would rather clean-up after a child who has wetted himself/herself than to spend the few minutes to walk them to the bathroom. Doesn't sound like a supportive environment.
I would talk to the administrator. If you are still not satisfied, then find a new daycare. I have worked in daycare, had children in day/homecare, & worked as a Kindergarten Teacher and kids always go to the restroom before nap/quiet time. At 2 a child may certainly need to be prompted.
I own a preschool and you should look for another childcare center. Your expectations are not unreasonable and a quality program will assist your child in the potty training process. Here's a link on potty training that you may also find useful:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/09/22/...
i would actually get a new daycare after seeing this happen. your correct it isnt right at all this is happening to the kids. that would make me irate to see a child wet herself after the teacher ignored her. what if it were a different problem? i dont blame your little one for being defiant they dont seem to care about the kids.
I would personally talk to the administerator. I am a teacher and if I let a child wet himself/herself, I would be in trouble. This is absurd!
I would not be happy with these teachers' attitudes with these children. When I think about my kids and potty-training, my 1st didn't potty-train until he was 3, and while my 2nd potty-trained at 2, she was not independent at it for a very long time (mostly because it's just her personality). It also seems to me like your son could be acting out against their attitudes. I would speak to the director ASAP, and if the problem isn't dealt with immediately, I would seriously consider finding another childcare facility.
Definitely talk to the administrator. What you have observed with the teachers is not normal. A few accidents a week I can understand (it is always harder to keep an eye on multiple kids). My sons teachers learned his routine, when he tended to have accidents (outside on playground), and adjusted to be sure to have the whole class go potty just before outside time so that the accidents wouldn't happen. If his habit is to have accidents after nap, they should adjust to have all the kids go potty at the end of naptime (which would be a normal time ANY child would need to hit a bathroom btw). If they won't work with you I would recommend finding a different day care as it is a warning sign.
One parent to another, it sounds like you may need to start hunting for a new daycare. The one you are using now seems to busy to pay attention to little ones. Talk with some of the other parents as they are coming or going see what there experience's have been in this area. They may have had or having them now. Good luck.
Hi there,
Anyone caring for young children ( especially being paid to do so) should not be chatting with adults to the point of ignoring the kids.It might be time to file a complaint and shop for a good daycare. I don't think your asking too much of them to take your child potty after nap, after all, you are why they have a job, this is your child and as a mother you know what's best.
Good luck, your not being unreasonable, it sounds like they are being lazy.
This is a horrible daycare. Children are only learning to go potty when they're 2. Many don't get there till well after 3. Even if the child were older, not helping them is inexcusable - especially for chatting. I would talk to the administrator and seriously consider moving to another daycare. Those people should not be working with children.
As soon as you saw the PAID help just standing around and chatting, that should have been your cue to pull your child out of that daycare and asked around for recommendations. You can talk to the daycare administrator until you are blue in the face, but if the help is not passionate about caring for children, they will never take care of your child the way you would.
