C.
Sounds like the personality of my second son. My first who is now 3 was and is SOO easygoing and went along with transitions so well and everything. My second son who will be 2 in a couple of weeks is generally easygoing (more so now as he approaches 2 than before in a lot of ways) but surely strong willed at the same time, particularly when it comes to transitions! He wants to do his own thing regardless of those around him and he wants to do things in his OWN time (even if it's something you know he loves to do). For example, he LOVES to be outside, but every time we are getting ready to go outside, he'd refuse to go and so I just let him be now because by the time all the kids are ready to go out, he's coming over and ready to go, so not a big deal and no more struggles. He's the last to get ready to go out, but he needs that extra time to prepare himself I guess for the transition. Sounds to me like it is a personality thing...that this is how she feels control over or how she feels she can manage her situations. SHE wants to decide what she is going to play. That's what it sounds like to me anyway. So maybe if you can allow her a little extra time to lag behind and coax her to come on her own somehow to the next thing, she'll feel more comfortable with it. I know that's easier said than done. Honestly, I would probably not find it worth it to do things REAL structured where they are expected to stay with the group at this time. Is it alright with the people leading programs she is in that she plays with other things/doesn't stay right with the group?? I think the kids will be more ready for structure with time and maturity. I really think it's just a personality difference. For now, we do the baby steps of following mom's directions for safety and obedience. Also, the Sunday School class is starting to do a little structure by the time they reach the 2 year old class. I know with my son too he throws fits sometimes when I pick him up and take him away from something on to the next. For example, he discovered that there is a little hill by the street, so he loves to go over there. But I can't have him that close to the street. He would SCREAM when I took him away and do ALL he could to get back to the street. I finally figured out that the phrase that works to keep him away from the street is "I don't want you to get hit by a car", then he comes back up the driveway away from the street on his own. If I simply tell him to come away from the street or stay on this side of the line, he'll fight his way to the little hill by the street as hard as he can. Hope this helps!
