2 Year Old Hitting - Carlsbad,CA

I have two boys, 6, 4, and both went through this stage. I do believe it is a stage because at 2, our boys weren't able to communicate verbally and defaulted to communicating through physical means. They didn't have words to use.

We upped the sign-language. I also would show them what is acceptable by taking their hand and gently stroking my arm. I would say, "no hit, yes nice touching."

I figured he didn't know what to replace with the hitting that would get my attention. And when he would gently touch me, I would give him a jackpot of praise.

This seemed to work. Tell him what not to do and show him what he should do instead.

Welcome to the terrible twos.

Time out! He will learn real qiuck i promise!

Hi S.,
I am a mother of 2 girls ages 1 and 3. My 3 year old is a tall, strong girl, and she went through a phase of emotional outbursts which included hitting and biting. Like you, I tried everything from acting hurt, to ignoring the behavior, to discipline. I can't be sure if she just outgrew the behavior or if my method worked but this is what I think finally worked for our family...without emotion (I know it's hard) my husband and I would calmly tell our daughter that hitting/biting (whatver it is) is unacceptable behavior and she has a choice; stop the behavior or choose her consequence. She was looking for control in her life and offering choices really worked (and still does) for us. You have the added challenge of being concerned about your daycare provider's children, but kids are resilient and getting a few thumps by another toddler is not going to scar them forever. Just make sure whatever you and your family decide to do, your childcare provider is on the same page. Consistency is key!

My son starting hitting at about the same age and we found that time out was very successful. If he hit me or my husband we would immediately stop what we were soing and put him in time out after telling him that we NEVER hit people because it hurts. After the time out was over we made him tell us what he had learned. Soon he stopped hitting. It still happens every-once-in-a-while and we take the same course of action. It seems to be very effective, but we found out that the time out has to be immediate and you have to change your tone of voice immediately as well. Good Luck. I hope this helps.

Hmm. This depends so much on the circumstances of each event that i think i can only advise you to trust your individual judgement. Often it may be possible to ignore it - so as not to make it such an issue, and easier for the behavior to disappear. Encouraging gentleness and soft touch also gives the right message. At this age it's easy to get frustrated, but there's no reason why you should worry that this will go on past the stage where he uses his words more.
When he does it and you don't feel ignoring it is possible or wise, grab his arm and say 'NO' right in his face very very clearly. Then withdraw your attention for a few moments. He may well cry, you ignore this. Then distract and get on with another thing. Don't argue and over explain. Say no more than ''Hitting is not Ok. No hitting, thank you.''
Then move on to next topic, or activity, even if all you can think of is 'Oh, hey, look at the doggy over there'

;-)

Good luck!