2 Year Old Hits/bites/pinches Me and Then When I Say No, Does It to Himself

He sounds like a bright little guy who is scientifically testing the rules. Do they apply to everybody? Do they apply every time? You handled it well. The more clear and unemotional you can be in your response, the more quickly he'll be convinced that the limits are real, and not some arbitrary reaction based on your feelings at the moment.

Another thing you can do is to put a positive spin on the rules: "No hitting – let's do some sweet, happy touching instead!" And use his hand to tenderly stroke yours, or vice versa.

Most littles get through this stage (and on to some other puzzling behavior) fairly quickly. But he will need to hear how consistent the rules are until he is convinced. For some toddlers, that is hourly repetition for many days or weeks.

And most children are most likely to engage in negative behaviors when they are tired, hungry, overstimulated, sick, or already frustrated. At some point, his behaviors may be connected with genuine anger or frustration. It is helpful to give him words for the feelings, and still prohibit the hit or pinch. "Oh, sweetie, you feel so mad. Yes, I understand. You can tell me that any time. And no hitting!"

It is often possible to physically punish a child for his behaviors and discourage it that way. But if he's not being shown alternatives, or allowed to have the legitimate feelings we all have, that approach can eventually backfire.

I worked in a day care and there were a couple kids that would hurt themselves (bite, pinch, bang head on table) when they were mad at me or other kids. At first I was very concerned and tried to stop them but as time went on and I paid less and less attention to it they stopped. I would tell them you shouldn't hurt anyone, even yourself. I would say it makes me sad that they are hurting themselves but I wouldn't interfere too much. Pretty soon they outgrew that stage and I guess realized that hurting themselves is not fun and not what they wanted to do in the first place, they wanted to get back and me or the other kids. Once they stopped I talked about what they can do when they were mad, like stomp their feet, bite their stuffed animal, scream outside, scribble with crayons.
I think it's a stage associated with the age. They are just starting to figure out emotions and how to deal with them. I bet other moms have gone through this and will have some great tips for you.

I'm not against spanking, but you can't hit and then say no hit. It doesn't make sense to a child, and it doesn't make sense to me either. My daughter, who is also 2, hits to, and I tried ignoring it, but it would get worse. My daughter responds well to time out. It seems to be working and this behavior has been limited, but it hasn't stopped. She has stopped hitting me. And when I tell her no hit when she is hitting herself, she then gently rubs her hand down her face. It's all a matter of consistency. Find the punishment that works for you and stick with it. I make it very clear my expectations the consequences for her bad behavior. I've put her in time out in the middle of the grocery store, mall, and Wal-Mart for her behavior. I will not tolorate it anywhere, and I don't care what kind of looks I get for others, if she's bad, she's punished. Quick swift response. Let him know you won't tolorate it and there will be consequences. It's not going to solve itself overnight, but it will get better.

He's testing the limits. Set one. pop him on his little butt with a very firm NO each and every time. If he does it again, pop him and remove him from the situation. Take him to another room saying nothing but NO. It wont take long for him to get it.

This sounds frightening and frustrating for you. Aside from his motivations, I would like to offer that any attention you give(positive or negative) him will buy him a reason to continue. Perhaps you could react to the pain you feel by immediately turning your gaze away from him and saying ow. Then focus on taking care of your "injury" with ice or washing the area(even if it's just an exaggerated show). This means that although he is in a safe location, he has just brought any and all attention to a screeching halt. Abruptly stopping and rejecting even one further interaction will allow him an opportunity to demonstrate positive behaviors for your attention. Acting like your really enjoying a game, book or activity in front of him without directly addressing him may encourage him to want to behave to get your attention back. Using expressions such as, "Hands are for clapping, feet are for dancing, or mouths are for singing" then demonstrating how much exciting fun you're having doing those things without acknowledging he is right there may bring him to want to use his body so that he can play too.
Please know it won't happen overnight and he may be craving some deeper pressure stimulus so giving him some deeper pressure outlets will help(sewing a bag of pennies into each pocket in a vest he can wear is a great way to give him some of the pressure he craves). Lifting some objects that are a little heavier or pushing something that offers resistance(like a heavy door or box that can be a pretend car) can also help.
Finally, setting him up for success by telling him what activity you are about to do with him and what you expect of him for it to happen (that he must keep "quiet hands and body" to ...hear his story, play with you, get a goodnight visit etc. Watch for fidgeting or loss of focus so you can quickly end an interaction on a positive note. Being clear, consistent and praising him for his quiet hands and body as you go, can allow you both to enjoy each others company without pain. Hope something I've mentioned is helpful to you. S.