Hi! I have a 28 month old daughter who is very shy. I know toddlers can be shy so thats not really my concern. My concern is that she does not show any interest in playing with other kids. I take her to playgroups and she just stands in one spot and watches the kids and runs away if they get too close. If someone comes over or we go to an appointment she won't talk at all. We go to a Chiropractor EVERY week and she never talks. She is always unwilling to try new things and seems to be scared of everything that has to do with socializing. The other problem is Sleep. she has never slept well and recently when I lay her down for bed after our bedtime routine and then I walk out of the room she jumps out of bed screaming and crying. I tried to do the cry it out since she is almost 2 1/2. I just kept coming in and laying her back down and trying not to make eye contact or say anything but then she starts saying "I love you, I love you mommy" and if i dont respond she starts screaming "I love you too, say I love you too". It totally breaks my heart and at that point I give in because I can see its not just a tantrum she is scared to fall asleep on her own.
Anyone have a toddler like this and if so what is your advice? Specifically on how to get her to fall asleep on her own and how to help her socialize and get over her fear of trying new things.
Mom. M. You are replying to a 3 year old post. My daughter is 5 1/2 and it turned out to be autism.
Take her to exercise groups. You can take her to mommy/child swim at the Y. Water helps to alleviate fears. Get in the water with her and swim as instructed. Once she learns to swim she will feel confident. If she is slower than the rest of the kids do not be alarmed. She will turn into a swimmer and just being in the water with you will help her immensly.
Oh my, this brought tears to my eyes when I read your post. My son was exactly the same way. I put him in every class to try to socialize him. He hated every one of them. Never was interested in other kids. All I can say is be patient with him. I read a book (Sensitive Child (or something like that) that really changed my perspective on his behavior. They aren't the social norm, so it's hard to accept, even as a parent. But as an adult, the qualities your daughter has are highly valued. When my son was 4 he started being more interested in other kids. He's 5.5 now and is so much more outgoing and less anxious around other kids. That is actually what brought tears to my eyes, realizing how far he has come and I wouldn't have thought it possible at the stage you are in. Just be patient and try to appreciate the way she is for what it is. It's hard, but really helped me and in turn, helped my son feel more confident.
My son, who is now 4 1/2, was the same way socially. I took him to co-op classes when he was 2 and he would run away when other children came near him. When he was 3, he was more comfortable with other children and no longer ran away from them, but still didn't really play with others in co-op. Also when he was 3, he did start playing with the boy next door who was a year younger but much more socially outgoing. It did take a few playdates before my son actually talked to the boy though. But then I knew he could make that connection with other kids; he was just shy, especially in a group setting. He started preschool when he was almost 4. The group setting was difficult at first and his teacher said he was playing next to his classmates but not with them. So I started a sticker chart for him and told him he would get a sticker for each preschool day that he talked to one of his classmates. After 20 stickers he would receive a toy that he had been asking for. Pretty soon he was making friends and his
classmates were asking for playdates! Now, he still won't be the one to initiate a new friendship but if other children want to play with him, he is happy to play and talk with them. So it just took time. When he was 2, I tried one-on-one playdates and he would not interact with the other child, much to my dismay. But now he loves playing with other kids - i realize now that he just wasn't ready before.
He still won't initiate a conversation with an adult stranger but he will respond if asked a question, which he wouldn't do when he was younger. So it takes time for some children to come out of their shells and sometimes it also takes incentives to encourage them to try something new and get over their fears. Hope that helps.
No where in your question would I think that your child is on the spectrum so dont listen to Sarah G. That was a horrible answer and a stupid thing to say. Shame on her for being rude.
Sounds like my daughter. Some toddlers are very shy and as Ive seen from some of your other questions she seems to be very smart. I would give her more opportunities to do things alone like a day care that does drop off once or twice a week so that she can become a little more independant. I hope that helps and like I said your daughter is not on the spectrum and some moms on here need to think before they answer
My son is 2 1/2 and i have the same problems with him he will not play with others. He shy's away from everyone and everything. and sleeping i've tried so hard to get him to go to bed by himself we was doing good for a while were i would put him in his crib and he would cry for a lil while then he would lay down but i was sitting on the floor right next to his crib til he fell asleep, but we went upstate to visit family for a week and ever sense then he has to be with me in my bed or on the couch and then my husband or myself put him in his bed. cuz i cant do the let him cry it out it breaks my heart. The only kids he will play with our my niece's and they live 2 hours away so he dont see then that much. I try to push him a lil bit when we are at the park to play with other kids but he wont. So your not alone His doctor told me to put him in day care but how do i do that he will be in the corner all day by himself.
As far as the socialization goes, I wouldn't be too concerned. I would just continue to take her to places like the playground, playgroups, classes etc, but not force her to do anything that she isn't comfortable with. My daughter was the same way. She takes gymnastics class and when she was 2 we did the mommy and me class. It took her almost 2 whole sessions, which was about 6 months, before she would even take part in the warm up activities. At storytimes at the library, she would just stand back and watch and never participate. If a child approached her to talk to her she would turn and hide her head in my legs. She is now 3 1/2 and is a social butterfly. I think she just needed to come into her own. My will be 2 in Oct. and he doesn't participate either. I don't worry because I know he will eventually.
I can't really give any advice about her sleep issues. I'm lucky that my kids are pretty good sleepers. Is there anything new in your daughters life or anything that she needs to adjust to? What about teething? For several months my daughter dealt with her 2 year molars coming in which caused problems sometimes. When my daughter transitioned to a toddler bed she kept getting out of bed and wouldn't go to sleep. I would just pick her up, tell her I loved her, and put her into bed. I would tell her that I would be back to check on her, but she needed to listen to her musical seahorse and keep her eyes closed until I came back in. She would end up falling asleep waiting for me. This took about 3 weeks and then she started going to sleep on her own. I know that that is different from what your daughter is doing, but maybe if you tell her you love her and that you'll come back to check on her it will help.
Good luck, sorry this is so long!
Not sure what to tell you on the sleep, but my daughter was very similar. I took her to playgroups, Gymboree, co-op and she would cling to me. She was deathly afraid of water and screamed through swimming, so I have no idea what that other person was talking about! She wasn't afraid of other kids, but would look at them warily and was really not interested in playing. I She would not sing the songs, do the dances, do anything. It took 2 entire school years for her to participate in co-op. At the end of the second year (she was 3) she got up to do the egg shaker song and I thought all the other mothers and the teacher were going to fall down. We were all in shock that she was finally participating. At about 3 she started to become more comfortable and able to participate in things. Just keep taking her places and introducing her to new things, try the same things for a long time. We had to just keep going back as long as she wasn't hysterical about something. My daughter is very social now, but new things still make her nervous. It has taken us a full year of weekly swimming lessons to get her to put her face in the water. Now that she has done it, we can't get her out of the pool! We have always called her our "slow to warm up kid." There is nothing wrong with that. It just isn't the norm, so we feel like something is wrong. Find a small group of kids that she can see on a regular basis. She sounds like the kind of child that will take a while to warm up to other kids and just random kids at the park may be too much for her. She needs to see the same kids, even if it is just one other child for a once a week play date.
I also found that my daughter gravitated to other children like her, who were quiet and not pushy or exuberant. The extraverted kids scared her. Try reading the book "The Highly Sensitive Child." I found it very interesting.
I would get her assessed to see if she is on the spectrum.
I was just reading an article online about the high need baby yesterday...
Maybe this is your child?
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-bab...
