2 Part ? Learning Ability for 3 Year Old and Sleep Situation with 1 1/2 Year Old

Letters and numbers are very abstract concepts for children. Small children function strongly with their senses and on concrete information. It is completely age appropriate for her to do well remembering things that are around her and that she can see and EXPERIENCE. She doesn't know what an "A" really is - or why she should bother with it. Give her some time and don't stress about it.

I COMPLETELY agree with Chrystine!!! My daughter (3) is the same way. Wow... I feel better now knowing other moms feel like this too

Hi K.,

I had to respond to the question about your daughter. I am a Child Development Specialist & Parent Educator and my column on My Daily Find this month speaks to this issue. I hope you find it helpful.

http://www.mydailyfind.com/family/the-parenting-coach-unc...

Best of luck,
G. B., M.A.
www.GilaBrown.com

What you are describing actually makes a lot of sense. A young child possesses an amazing ability to focus on and remember what is important to THEM! At three yrs. old reciting the alphabet and repeating numbers is not yet in that category for your daughter. Please don't rush this process. If you push her to learn numbers & letters now it will not instill a love of learning but instead a lot of unnecessary stress & pressure on both of you. Knowing this, you can hopefully relax and just enjoy your young daughter where she is today. When these things become important to her you will know, your child will let you know by her natural curiosity and interest in them.

Here are some thoughts on the subject from Bev Bos (renowned childhood educator)...

Mrs. Bos shares that many adults have childhood amnesia. She emphatically states that it is NOT our job to get children ready for their next stage, but instead to provide them with appropriate activities to meet each of their needs right now. The three basics she describes for teaching children are wonder, discovery and experience. The challenge is to keep wonder alive for children, to establish environments where children can discover for themselves and to provide experiences for children in all areas of development.

“Every stage of development is complete in itself.The three year old is not an incomplete five year old.The child is not an incomplete adult. Never are we simply on our way! Always we have arrived! Enjoy Now!”

"Lately, I have been using the following acronym of the word "fear.” F.E.A.R. = Future Events Already Realized or False Evidence Appearing Real. What we should really be fearful of is by focusing on some future situation that a child may someday find themselves in, and thus causing them to miss out on important parts of their development in the here and now. For the children’s sake do your best to stay “present.” -Bev

http://www.turnthepage.com/ http://www.bevbos.com

Your three year old is three years old. That's the only problem. Learning the numbers and letters are hard despite all the random stuff they remember otherwise!

Just give her time, she'll start dazzling you with her ABCs and numbers soon...no worries for you at all right now!

-M

I can address the letter/#'s. I have 3 kids, #1 and 3 knew their letterss and numbers before age 2. #2 is almost 6-just started K and still can not identify all the letters and #'s. But, he can tell you all about volcanos, weather patterns, dinosaurs, he can add double digits in his head. I think, he just doesn't care. I think he finds memorization to be completely boring and he would rather do something else. Also, he is my challenging child. my patience is drained at the end of the day. So, maybe that has something to do w/ it-he wants to win the battle.

About the 3 year old -- why are you fixating on alphabetical and numerical order? Those are the least important aspects of dealing with words and numbers! With this age of child, especially one who is very smart, relating letters to sounds and words is more important by far. Point out letters when you see them on signs and in books you are reading together, especially when the word represents a clear example of the sound of the letter. "Look,here's B.: Baby elephant." Start teaching math concepts by helping her recognize "sets." "See the two birds sitting on the fence." One, two birds." "We need three plates for dinner because three of us sit at the table to eat. One, two, three plates. Now we need three forks to go with the three plates." Rhymes should appeal to her. For learning to count, counting rhymes are fun, like "One, two, buckle my shoe. Three four, shut the door. Five, six, pick up sticks. Seven eight, lay them straight, nine, ten, a big fat hen!" The great thing about rhymes is they also teach a lot about sounds and words. Chanting the alphabet in order and counting out a long string of numbers has very little to do with getting ready to read and understand arithmetic although it always seems like a cute trick when very little children do it. My mother, who was a very successful master teacher of first grade for 35 years altways found that the children who could do those things were not really ahead of those who could not. Rote learning is not the key to understanding sounds and numerical concepts!

Good luck with both your children!

S. Toji

Your 3 year old is NORMAL, per this age-set and development.
Kids this age, and even in Preschool, Kindergarten, WILL GET THE SEQUENCING mixed up. It is normal.
"Sequencing" and this type of "logic" is a whole different thing, versus just "memory" or other things or trivia.
PER my Daughter's Preschool Teacher, when my daughter was at that same age, and when she was 4 years old... MANY MANY MANY kids are STILL just learning these things. Its okay. They don't have to have it down pat, yet. AND, when they start writing, they WILL get their writing mixed up too... at this age, it is to be expected. Even 1st Graders get their writing mixed up. Their brains are developing as well still.

One other thing... the best way to 'teach' kids at this age through 8 years old is through auditory approaches. ie: making SONGS and rhymes about things. My Daughter's Preschool Teacher said this, and at 3 years old, the kids were learning Broadway Plays/songs, the 50 States, the Presidents of the USA, the days of the week, the 12 Months, the seasons, the planets, and many other things. They learned it all through AUDITORY based approaches. Nothing hard-core and repetitious... but just learning it by way of songs and simple dance movements. It is amazing. They didn't sit at desks or have anything written down, but it was all through play-based activities. They only spent about 10 minutes a day on each "song"/subject. NOTHING rigorous. Just all in fun. To this day, my Daughter who is now 6 years old, STILL remembers what she was taught in Preschool at 3-4 years old.

At this age, you don't want to spend more than 10-15 minutes on a "subject." Even 15 minutes is a long time for a 3 year old. Mostly, just have fun... and intersperse your daily talking with "lessons"... for instance, "Mommy is cutting an apple. "A" for apple..." or, sing songs about it. For alphabets/numbers, concentrate on no more than say 3 letters at a time. Then over time, build up.

I know that nowadays, kids are expected to be so accelerated... but not that it is the best thing developmentally.

Your son is going through a sleep phase or is changing developmentally, or separation anxiety. MANY kids go through this. Is should pass. Has he "night terrors" yet?
Here is a good link:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-chil...

First, let me congratulate you on having two beautiful children and trying to figure out these problems. I won't really attempt to address things about the 1 1/2 year old, except to say that maybe you could try giving him some toys to play with when he wakes up, in addition to trying to adjust the sleep schedule.

As far as the learning with your three year old goes, if she starts saying her letters and numbers somewhat out of order, I think that is fairly common when they first begin learning. I would not push it at all...maybe just watch educational shows like Superwhy or Sesame Street with her. The key with the learning is to expose them to it, but not force it...maybe get some of the music for preschoolers that are learning songs...anything to expose her to colors, numbers, shapes, etc.

Very best of luck to you.

Hi K.,

Your daughter sounds like she's delightful and bright, but keep in mind that different areas of the brain mature at different times, and that different people will have the capacity to excel in different areas. So, while her speech center development may be advanced for her age, her visual/spatial recognition abilities may be developing more slowly (in fact, they sound normal for this age). As far as memory goes, it is possible to have terrific auditory memory (for sounds, words, etc.), but to not have the same level of visual/spatial memory. I suggest you read Daniel Goleman's book on multiple intelligences -- it does a wonderful job of explaining the different types of learning styles and intelligence that people can have.

If your daughter gets to be 6 or 7 yrs old and still doesn't have a handle on the alphabet and the rudiments of reading, and still can't recognize and use numbers, then I would start to be concerned. For now, just enjoy your little parrot!

Hi K.,
I wouldn't worry to much about your daughter. She's only 3. She will eventually get it. Be pacient and keep doing what you are doing.
As for your son, I have a wonderful on-line book called "Sleep Sense Program" This book changed my family's life. Seriously!!! Just shoot me an email (and anyone else who might need it) at ____@____.com.
Sometimes kids do the weirdest things!!!!
Take care,
M.

Hello, I have a 13 year old grandson who was not interested in verbalizing his ability to repeat anything he had learned including counting and the alphabet. I babysat him (as well as all of our local grandchildren) and read to him daily. He would sit through ten books he would choose. When we would visit the Library for Story Time, he loved it. When it was time to choose books to bring home, he would choose from the adult section. I would have to make him choose a couple from the children's section. When he started kindergarten, he didn't seem to know his numbers or alphabet, but he could recognize and tell you the names of many dinosaurs and other science related items. It is all going in. Our grandson is now in all Honors classes in the eighth grade and in a Science cluster which has a foot in the door to San Diego State. I volunteer at the elementary school he was at and all of his teachers remember him as very smart. There is even a speech teacher who was visiting his class in 5th grade when he was doing a report. She still remembers it and tells me all of the time how very bright he is. Your daughter is taking it all in and it will come out when she needs it. Just keep up all you are doing and expose her to as much as you can.
As far as your precious little boy, good luck. All four of our children and our grandson we raised as a toddler got up early. It was their schedule. My second one was up all night and our first one would get up at 6:00 a.m. They took turns napping. I thought I would never sleep again. Somehow we all got through it.
Good luck with your precious little children.
K. K.

Please do not worry about your 3 year old and her letters. Like many of the other moms said... she will get it when she gets it and it does not mean she is not smart. Just remember to keep it FUN and not push too hard. My only suggestion is to connect it to things and people important to her. M is for mommy. D is for Daddy. My daughter has something to connect almost every letter of the alphabet that is meaningful for her. Right now she identifies more with the capital letters (thanks to the leapfrog DVD) but I know that once those letters and sounds are solid she will be able to transfer the knowledge to lowercase letters. good luck.

As for your son try putiing him down for his first nap a little later then normal and see if he naps longer and maybe put him down at night 1/2 hour later then normal. You need to work it until you find what works for him. I do daycare and around 1 1/2 is when they start to need 1 nap instead of 2. My daycare kids nap 2 hours daily up to age 4-5 until they have a hard time going to sleep at night and then they get quiet time and watch a movie. If he is generally a good boy watch for crying and whining out of the norm because he may need more sleep and is just fighting you. I had one that just turned 2 and started climbing out of the playpen and wanted no more naps and I worked it by leaving door open until she fell asleep giving her special pillow and we are back on a routine which is key. I have changed my nap times from 1:30-3:30 to 12:00-2:00 according to school schedules and the kids adjust well because it is steady once changed. As for your daughter continue to play and have fun and do learning tv shows. She will get it. Most of my daycare kids learn quickly and easily again because we do it daily. My own youngest would not seem to pay attention or get it and I was so worried and one day out of the blue she knew it all because they do absorb things just each in there own way. My yougest is in middle school doing great in school and test at the highest sections for advance in state test. So I wouldn't worry unless it continues once she starts school or you see it in other areas or your doctor thinks there may be a problem. Sorry so long.

Hi K.,
Just keep working with your 3 year old and she'll eventually get it. It's normal for kids that age to mix some things up even if they are smart. My son would count and skip 7 and 11 all the time - don't know why. He could count to 100 but skip 7 and 11. Eventually he outgrew that. It sounds like your daughter is really smart so just keep working with her and using every opportunity as a learning experience. That's what I've been doing and it's really helped.

Your 1 1/2 year old may not be sleeping because he's learning new things and is excited to start practicing - walking, running, talking... Or he could be teething. Maybe try to put him to sleep a little later and he'll sleep longer? Hopefully it's just a short phase and he'll go back to sleeping better.

Good luck! It sounds like you're doing a great job!

She's three and yes she might excel at socializing but you u really listen she is reciting the alphabets to you just not in a synchronizing order that we are taught. The way i got my kids to recognize the letters of the alphabets were thru leap frog dvd that i rented from the library. I didn't to much care for the number one, neither did my kids. However, we all enjoyed the alphabet videos. Good luck

If your daughter isn't already in preschool, I would highly recommend it! Preschool is so important and the way they teaching using songs, dance, etc. is essential. My daughter has been in a montesorri school since summer and has made tremendous progress. She knows the alphabet, counts to 30, sings the 50 states song (verbatim), does patterning, shapes (not just squares and circles...hexagon, octagon, pentagon, etc.) Her school is amazing! I can't say enough about FV Montersorri. Both my girls go there and my 5 year old is in Kindergarten there. She already knows all her planets,in order, addition and many advanced things.

I have four children. My son, the oldest was reading at 3 1/2. The two middle girls knew their letters and the sounds, numbers to 20, and a few words. Daughter number 3 was reading about 50 words when she went to kindergarten. All of my kids were in gifted and talented programs. The kids are all different. What you are describing is developmental. They will learn and get it when they are ready. We can make it available and fun for them.

There is always somewhat of an adjustment when a nap is cut... I would continue following the same schedule: afternoon nap at 1ish, to bed at 7ish and go get him at 7ish. Put a sound spa/noise maker/white noise in both of your kids rooms (Target has them or online), make sure their rooms are dark, and be consistent- as soon as it becomes a habit (which happens SO QUICKLY it will be harder to break- not impossible just harder). Anyways, keep to the choices you have made just adjust their sleep environments to accommodate for the sleep disruption. http://www.lullabyluna.com/2008/12/happy-new-year.html

C., mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer

I am not sure why you want your daughter to repeat a string of letters or numbers and she probably doesn't either.

Number sense and knowledge of letter sounds is more important. Teaching your child one-to-one correspondance with little games will help her learn to count. Start with 1 and 2. "I have one spoon, you have one spoon." "I have one spoon and you have two, lets count them, one, two." And so on with different objects at various times of the day. Move to 3 when she can count two things.

For sounds, when you name somthing for her you can give her the letter and sound. "Would you like an apple? aaaa is the first sound in apple." (make the short a sound) "Lets play ball, bbbb is the first sound in ball." And so on.

You can elaborate on this as she gets older. Have fun.

Your three year old is normal. If you want to teach her a song (other than the traditional one that uses the "Twinkle Twinkle" tune) there's a cute one my son's Kindergarten class uses. I don't know who recorded it, but the words are:
A, B, C Ya later
D, E, F, G I'm gonna miss you
H, I Have to go now
J; K bye bye now
L, M, N, O I had a good time
P, Q, R you gonna miss me?
S, T, U are my best friend
V, W, X, Y Because I love you
Z... Zat's All!

I've found that when my children sing this sone they don't forget any of the letters or the order of them. If you'd like, write me back and I'll find out the name of the recording. Oh, and a Warning: it gets stuck in your head really easily!