2 1/2 Year Old Girl Holding Her Pee for Hours

I say don't push it-its a que she is not ready. I have a 3 yr old who is not potty trained and I know she is not ready to do so yet. I don't push her and know she will do it when she is ready-not when I am ready. Good Luck! L.

Okay, so I agree with Michele...seems like I do A LOT...but, my son is 2.5 and in preschool two days a week, just to get him some social interaction with kiddos his age. But, he is in no way ready to potty train. Even though his Pedi asked me when we were going to start, and I started thinking well maybe I should start again...his preschool teacher said, he's not ready. He loves the potty and the whole process, but she said he will get more out of it when he is ready. So, we wait.

Kids do things are their own pace, and it doesn't matter if EVERY girl in her class in potty trained...she's not them. Unfortunately, it's easy to get caught up in comparison's but if she's not ready then you may want to wait...oh, and I love Elizath Pantely's book too.

D..

My absolute favorite potty training book is The No Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I think I've recommended it so many times here people are probably sick of it! LOL!! Try to get your hands on it if you can. I know you don't want to hear this, but she may not be ready. However, if she is, you can get some great ideas in this book. For me, I visited potty training with my son a few times before reading this book. Once I read this book, it gave me what I needed to help him achieve potty training success. Looking back, I'd say that he was ready before me, I was just going about it wrong.

To give you some perspective, my daughter potty trained around 3.5, my son at 3. Both simply were not ready prior to that.

I hope you find something that works for you all,
M.

Hi!
I know it can be hard to see all her peers already where you would like her to be but, in my opinion, the best approach right now would be to just go with the flow(no pun intended:) If she wants a diaper to pee, put one on with a very casual attitude. Talk to her about the whole magical process of peeing-how we drink liquid and our body uses the water and nutrients and lets go of the rest. Model for her the feeling and process when you go potty: "wow I drank so much water now I feel like I really need to go pee!" My little one enjoyed learning about the muscles that we use-how we hold them and how we release them like a donut opening. She also like the imagery of making a waterfall and we would have fun seeing how long the waterfall could last. My daughter learned to toilet early and went through a few phases of holding pee for hours-sometimes 7 or 8 hours!! She held pee because she was too busy playing and her muscles were strong but it is not a good practice for them to do often. Currently, my daughter(now 4 1/2) is in the process of retraining her urethra for better voiding because she has had several UTIs. I think part of the issues we have now are due to her practice of holding it. I would avoid using treats as motivation for toileting as they are unrelated to the process. Hopefully children will want to potty because their bodies tell them to instead of wanting a piece of candy at a time when they don't necessarily have the urge. Parents giving disconnected rewards can also clue the child in to the expectation a mom or dad is having which for a little person(especially 2 1/2) can translate as a lot of pressure. Relaxation exercises could also help her relieve some of that tension surrounding peepee. Sorry for the novel but I am just really passionate about this stuff! Best of luck!!

Since she's asking for her diaper to pee, she's telling you in a BIG way that she's not ready to potty train. Don't be in such a hurry. Wait til she's ready---ask her every month if she's ready to give up her diapers and wear "big girl" panties and if she says no, there's your answer. (She's still young!) Just say "okay" and let it go. In the meantime, buy a fun and cute potty training book and read it to her once a week. Other than that, my advice is don't put any pressure on her at all. Potty training pressure can create a lot of heartache. Back off and allow her to call the shots here. Good luck.

Hi P.,

My suggestion is keep her in a diaper or pull up and practice sitting every hour. Eventually she will go in the toilet and it will be one of her most proud moments. For some reason it takes a lot of work to figure out how to relax and let go of that muscle that holds the urine in.

Just think, we spend months trying to figure out how to relax and go pee on demand and then we spend the rest of our lives trying to hold it in so we don't pee our pants.

She obviously has the body control. Now she is working on the control that you want over her. Back off. She will potty train when she wants. If it turns into a battle of wills YOU will not win this one. My daughter was so stubborn that she absolutely wouldn't until she was almost 4. Yep about 2 weeks before her 4th birthday, she decided because I had totally backed off. and the good news is, she did it night and day in one day, no accidents. And her brother who is 16 months younger followed 2 weeks after her, day and night.

If there is too much preasure she will not comply.

So back off and DO NOT show your frustration. Then she has the power in the relationship and it will take that much longer. Surrender to the process. As they say 'no one goes to kindergarten in diapers'

It will happen. Don't make it such an issue.

good Luck

L.

She is obviously not ready. What is the rush? Are the pre-school teachers pushing this? If so, explain to them that your daughter is not to be pushed. Taking her to the bathroom every 30 minutes is crazy. Wait three months. If she still isn't ready, wait three more. And so on. She isn't even three years old. Stop rushing her. If potty training takes more than a half dozen days, the child just is not ready. If potty training is difficult, or a struggle, or aggravating in any way, the child is not ready. Do you think you will even remember this when she is graduating from high school? You will not. This is not a problem with her. This is an issue of people pushing her to do something before she is ready. Stop judging her by other people's standards. Stop feeling that she is behind the other little girls. Let her develop at her own pace.

Hi,

I just went through the same thing. I tried to keep my 2 yr. old daughter without a diaper and she held if for over 4 hours before I gave in and put a diaper on her in fear that she might get a urinary track infection. I can't explain it, but, one day I had a feeling when I was purchasing yet more diapers that it was time to try again and that she is ready now. Finally at 2 yrs. and 1 month I tried again. I left her without a diaper and filled her up with juice and water, I even handed her smarties candies one by one to encourage her to stay on the potty longer. I simply told her that she can do it. I asked her if she was afraid to "let it go" and she said "yes". I told her I believed in her and to just "let it go" and at last she did. Now 2 weeks later she goes peepee in the potty at least 6 times a day, but still wears a diaper for bowel movments, naps, bedtime and running errands (in the car).

All I can say is hang in there, trust your gut, if your instinct tells you she isn't ready trust yourself, if you gut tells you she is ready tell her it's time and that she can do it. We use stickers and a trip to Pump it Up (what we call the "bounce house") as a reward.

One last thing, we have had her in pullups for 1 year and they have a knack of leaking so I told her the last time her diaper leaked (during nap time) that her diapers are broken and the peepee came out and that we could not use them anymore because they are broken. Good luck, it will happen!

My son was about 3 yo when he did that. He'd hold it for the entire 9 to 10 hours he was in daycare, then come home and ask for a diaper to pee and poop. I finally gave him a daily count down on diapers, 3 left, then 2, then 1 and then no more. After begging and pleading for 30 minutes he finally used the toilet. Good luck!

I didn't encounter this problem in potty-training, but am wondering if getting her more involved in the process of putting the diaper (or pullup) on would help? I think the less pressure the better. Just matter of factly show her how to pull on a pullup when she has to go pee. Even if she isn't going in the potty yet, at least she'll be participating in the process. They all potty train eventually and on their own time. Sounds like at least you don't have to worry about accidents much since she can hold it. That's a plus!

Try either running a trickle of water when she's on the potty (worked for us)or even dipping her hand into cold or warm water. Sometimes it makes the feeling too strong to resist.

Hi P.,
I wouldn't worry too much about it; she'll go when she must. My daughter (3.5 years) is exactly the same way. Heck, she wakes up in the a.m. and doesn't "need" to go! She may go around 11 a.m. sometimes, after not going all night and morning. I used to worry about it, then I realized that she'll go when she feels like it. She's getting enough fluids, so I'm not concerned. Cheers!

I wouldn't be concerned.

Just keep offering and don't push the issue.

Her future husband will be thankful he won't have to stop every 30 minutes on a long trip (ha) :-)

When my daughter brought me diapers after she had peed in the ones she had on, I knew it was time to potty train. We had the little potty and she had watched me use the big one. She was three years old. We had a new baby a few months before that interrupted the previous attempts to potty train. She would use the potty sometimes and bring me the diapers to change her other times. Finally after her third birthday, I said enough. I took all her clothes off and let her run naked and said if she peed on the floor I would be very angry. If she peed in the potty, I would be very happy. After crying for about 30 minutes about not having her diaper, she used the potty. She got her reward (we talked about what she really wanted before I did this). We had talked about big girl underpants. Big girls got to do more. Go with gramma more. Big girls just got to do more stuff. That was it. I don't know if this will work for you, but it did for me.

I had my daughter drink a few ounces of water everytime I put her on the potty. I took her every 30 minutes. Before having her drink water she held her urine for at least 8 1/2 hours. After starting to drink more she HAD to go and the rewards became more effective.
M.

she may not be ready some kids take longer than others... my son was 2 and 11 months... i had the same problem with him and taking a bowel in the toilet which took me way longer than him peeing.. maybe try standing there or asking if she wants you to leave or close the door. even try you going on the toilet while she goes on the little kid one on the floor.. hopefully some of this may help..i had my son walk around with no diaper for a little until he understood undies... then with the bowels it took me 2 hours to get him to go for the first tme.. but i just didnt give up and all i did was encourage the entire time.. but he was saying he wanted to poop on the toilet he just said it was hard to do and thats why all i did was encourage.. thats why i tried so hard that time.. so just dont push her if she isnt ready or it might set back the potty training even more....

Try catching the morning pee only, the minute she gets up put the potty in front of the tv, and put her on it. When she is ingrossed in her favorite tv show or movie she might let it go, then praise her and do a happy dance and tell her to do that again, because most likely she heard it and held it again. Let her know that she can eat as soon as she goes to the bathroom. She doesn't get to get up until she goes. The faster she goes the faster she can get off. My son was almost 3 when I started. For the first week we just did morning pee, and by day 3 he was doing it quick because he knew the release thing and wanted to eat. I don't think your daughter understands what she is suppost to do yet, she simply has the hold because her diaper is off, and hasn't figured out that it's okay to release when on the toilet.

I remember when having my second child they told me not to push, hold it in. I remember that your body pushed anyway so I really had to hold it in, when I was finally told to push I couldn't for 3 contractions, because my mind was still on hold it, I had to think okay to push, okay to push, okay to push until I had that feeling to push again and finally my body let me. It's that same idea, she has learned that it's okay to pee with a diaper that's just how it works, but you need to reprogram her head to it's okay if it comes out here. This is how big people do it.

Forget the be nice and never let your child feel hurt or anger from you. She needs to learn how to deal with sad and unhappy feelings. Sometimes we all need a push (trying new foods, new places or clothes that feel different, it's life). She will deal with it and once you have her realizing that the only way she is getting off the potty is to go she will do great. My son did the morning pee for a week then we put on the big kid undies and said okay you know how to do it don't go in your undies. I reminded him every few hours then less and less because he got it. I think we had a total of 3 accidents, I made him clean them up so he got the drift that accidents aren't fun to clean up, mommy doesn't like it and either do I.

This was fast and quick and I was only mean on day 1 and 2 until he went, then on day 8 when he had to do it all the time. But he got over it fast because he realized this is the way it was going to be. He is also stubborn he cried for three days with each new car seat, and cried for 3 days when we changed his clothes from pants to shorts and back again. Any new thing we tryed we got the crying thing to see if he could have his way, but I never gave in to the big things. He just had to deal with it. He's 8 now and we still have issues with school work, and pants and shorts and long sleeves. But he doesn't get his way so it's not 3 days of crying it's just 5 or 10 minutes or until you say that's enough your not getting your way. Hope this helps, you can't let them run you, so be tough & do this thing. Good Luck! J.

I would not call her 'stubborn.' To me, she is just not ready yet.

Yes, that is the way preschool is... they take the kids to pee at certain times. Fine. Your girl is just not ready yet.
And just health wise, holding pee is just not good for the body... it can bring on infections, kidney problems etc. So I would keep this in mind.

Don't compare her to other kids. At this age, my girl was the SAME way. No biggie. In time, my girl 'got it' when she was ready.

My concern is that she is 'not' peeing, when she has to. Really, this is not good for the bladder or kidneys. Speak to your Pediatrician.

Just let her pee... even in her diaper if you must. Having her 'hold' her pee, just to toilet train her, is not proving successful at this point, anyway. Kids ALL go through this, and regress at certain points. No biggie. It's normal.

Main thing is she is not punished for it or embarrassed or compared to other children to her face. This is humiliating for the child. I'm sure she is trying her 'best.' Praise her for this. She does not have to be 'perfect' about it.
Just let her pee... you don't want infections/kidney problems/bladder problems etc. THIS would be worse, right? And all because of toilet training?

revisit the toilet 'training' later. I know you did this before. But it's not working. Try again later.
I'm sure this is not the first time the Preschool teacher's have encountered this.

If she does not and will not pee, for HOURS... you need to get her to let it out. It's for her health. This may not be "attractive"... but put her in a warm shower... and let her pee there, over the drain. The warm water may let her get it out. Or just put the diaper on her. My daughter, went through this too... and at risk of my not wanting her to get pent up internally and get bladder/kidney problems... I put her in a shower, and she'd FINALLY pee, there. But no, it was not a habit. I just did it out of concern for her health. Holding pee is painful to say the least, as well.

*when I was in grade-school (1st grade)... my classmate had kidney problems... and it was because she'd hold her pee and not go. So she had a 'permanent' kidney problem. I remembered that, and the Teachers had to make sure she went to the bathroom regularly. She was my friend, and she'd tell me this.

all the best,
Susan

If it makes you feel any better, neither of my kids were fully potty trained until 3 1/2. They both (boy 7, girl 4)have definite ideas of their own on most issues, and me trying to encourage potty training only made them dig in their heels harder. I didn't use any "methods", but there was plenty of encouragement and the potty was in the bathroom available at all times. My daughter didn't like the potty, but wanted her own seat to put on the toilet. Don't sweat it, your daughter will do it when she's ready--perhaps the pre-school teachers need to drop the issue for a while. I promise you she won't go to kindergarten in diapers!

How often does she go each day? My daughter is 5 and only goes 4 times day, sometimes 3. Some kids just don't have to go as often and can hold it without peeing that much.

Good luck with the potty training.