Hi everyone,
I need some advice on how to get my 2 1/2 year-old to stop constantly trying to interrupt while my husband and I are talking, while I'm on the phone, while I'm talking to another adult. I have realized that since we have been trying to buy a house, move, etc., he has gotten less attention than usual and is feeling very lost. This behavior has escalated since all of this has been going on, so one change I am trying to make is to make clear-cut "playtime" and "work time." That helps him to feel more secure and he becomes a little less needy, but he still tries to ask me questions while I'm on important phone calls. I will let him know I have an imp. call to make, that it will be just a few minutes, and that he is not allowed to talk to me until I hang up, but he will still keep calling me and yelling questions. He interrupts all conversations between my husband and I lately. Now we have him go to time out if we ask him not to interrupt for the next 2 minutes and he still does. We also got a timer that we set for 5 minutes during which we tell him it's "adult conversation time," and that he will be allowed to talk after the timer goes off. He doesn't seem to really get it completely though. Any advice?
Thanks for all the helpful advice everyone! I guess I should have included more information however about how much attention my son usually gets and the fact that his dad has been at home before starting his job for a month now. So he gets special "mom" or "dad" time every single day...going to the park, the Nature Museum, etc. And we are only asking him to wait until we're done talking for about 30 seconds or less, so I don't think that's too much to ask. We do talk to him about everything that's going on, take him to the new house and show him his new bedroom, etc. So he's pretty well adjusted emotionally, trust me! He's very smart and knows what he's doing, so I go outside to talk on the phone so I can hear over his calling "Mom, Mom" constantly. Anyway, I will definitely try yo be more patient anyway and not expect him to act older than he really is. Thanks!
Honestly most of this is the age. They don't always understand what we mean by interupting and they don't understand that it is rude. They will outgrow this eventually but even at 4-5 they can forget their manners. Have patience with him. He will be bigger before you know it and you miss his interuptions.
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Our children were seemingly out of control and similiar to what you are experiencing. I thought it was just jealousy/sibling rivalry/etc. However, what they needed was to see mommy and daddy spenging 20 minutes of quality time together each night. IT's called couch time. It is a time where parents sit in a certain cozy place with the children a few feet to several feet away. However, the kids CANNOT interrupt until after the 20 minutes are up. Our kids sat on a blanket (ages 18mo and 6)and were not allowed outside the "blanket boundaries" until our couch time was finished. Then, we allowed the kids to come jump into our arms and had "GROUP HUG/FAMILY TIME" for several minutes. The class is called Growing Kids God's Way. The ENTIRE class we took helped our family immensely....but this snippet of info seemed to make a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE in our children's behavior. Here a link to the website. It REALLY WORKS!! I am a SAHM with two kids and a hubby who works numerous long hours for two different companies. http://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/cust_resources.jsp
A boy who is very verbal, congrats !
This is part the age, reasoning with a 2 yr old is rough.
A lot is going on with you all. New baby, move coming, mom and dad stressed about the new house. He wants his due attention!
Get him on a good schedule. Lots of one on one with mom and dad, then, bath, story and bed. Now it's mom and dad time to talk. Nap time or quiet time in his room, is time to make those calls. Or, sitting with him by the sandbox, while he plays.
You can try getting a stuffed toy, and giving it to him when you are on the phone, or turning on the dvd, portable one when you are on the phone.
I agree with some of the others, he's 2. He doesn't really grasp the concept. I always tell my 2 1/2 year old, mommy is on the phone, i'll talk to you in a minute, go play. He does for a minute then does it again. Persistence will pay off on this one. Keep telling him he can't talk to you while you are on the phone, you are teaching him good manners.
I'm not sure the time out will help you much, because he doesn't understand what he's doing. 5 minutes for him is like an hour for us. I would use time out if he really gets drastic and is blantanyly defying you, but just remember... he's 2. he's a kid. don't try to make him grow up too fast.
My mother told me she always looked back and she used to tell my sister...act your age, and now she realizes, she was. :-) Enjoy it while you can.
YOu don't want to hear this but I think most kids do this. My 2 1/2 year old daughter does not do it much but I think that is b/c she has her brother to talk to. She will ask for whatever she wants while I am on the phone but if it is a drink, snack, etc I just keep talking and get it for her and she goes away. My son, he is 5 and he interrupts bad! I get so angry and do the time outs and everything you are mentioning. I will try to shoo him away if I am on with a dr, etc and he rarely gets it. If I can, I put them on hold and immediately walk him to his room and tell him he cannot come out until I am finished. Sometimes if I am talking to his dad or a friend and not on the phone, I can say to him, "you are being rude and when mommy is finished talking, you can speak"...now he politely says, "excuse me, excuse me mommy...." he is polite about interrupting!!! Basically I am saying that I think your son is too young maybe to fully understand. I think you are doing a good job with him so far though and soon it should stick. If he does take time to let you finish, be sure that as soon as you are finished talking that you go over to him and ask what it was that he wanted to tell you. Supposedly it is to help with their esteem and wanting to talk to you and open up.
Good luck! W. M
Hi K.,
I don't know Kim, it seems as though this is so typical of little one's. All I can tell you is to ignore this as best you can, making an issue seems to fuel the fire, so to speak. I can tell you that if you wait just one decade or so, he won't talk to you for hours on end. It's something we have to keep reminding ourselves of here, we have a 6 year old chatter box that doesn't seem to understand that we sometimes want to say something to each other. What I can tell you is when he is in school he never talks out of turn, or interrupts. He minds his teacher....so far that's what we're really happy about. I guess I'm telling you to get used to it...maybe other's will have a "fix" for this situation, but I think it comes with the territory. Good luck and I realize that this is an extremely busy time you're going through.
Hi K., Great advice so far...Mark Lehman was a very useful resource for our family while raising our kids who are now teenagers. One of his books is "How to Make your Children Mind without Loosing yours"...really practical advice on using real life consequences in training kids to mind. Parenting well is one of the most important and challenging tasks known. Hope this is helpful. Sincerely, T. B...a SAHM of two teens with a home biz...www.teresabennett.myarbonne.com and www.princessprovisions.com
One way I've always done it: teach him to quietly come up and touch your arm (when you're on the phone or talking) when he wants to talk, then touch and hold your hand on his to let him know that you know he has something to say, and you'll turn your attention to him in a moment, then just try to keep it short and praise him after you are finished on the phone, talking with hubby... Ppl who say a 2.5 yo can't learn not to interrupt are very wrong. That's the same ppl who say a three year old can't learn all the presidents, states/capitols, books of the bible, start to add and subtract, and sound out words... at 3... I say don't underestimate your son, expect greatness and show him how greatness is acheived and you'll prove all those ppl wrong who say it can't be done. good luck.
K.,
I think this is common, and he may outgrow this, but there are lots of things it seems to me, that are going on.
He has a new baby sister, adults are talking about a new house, and he could be one of the types of personalities that he has to know what he is doing, when he is doing it, a schedule I guess. My daughter was like this, still is. She has her entire week mapped out, and if someone throws a kink in it, oh goodness, look out, and she's 23 for crying out loud. Never was one to fly by the seat of her pants, but I created that monster in her, but she's my monster :) LOL. With three children, I had to have some sort of order to our daily routine.
Anyway, I would continue with the making him say "excuse me please" But I wonder, have you also considered talking to him, about what you are doing, and why you have to talk to people? Like realtors, etc on the phone. Does he know that you are planning a move? And have you and your husband discussed it with him. Kids are so smart. But this can be an anxious time for him too. And I think they feed off our stress as well. I know mine did. I know there are books out there on moving, etc, that will help explain things to him. And maybe if Dad has a special time with him, just for being a great kid.
Maybe if he had a special something to play with only while you were on important calls? Then if he constantly interrupted, he was sent to time out. Also, I wouldn't put off punishment (not saying you are) until you are off the call. If the behavior is happening now, the consequence needs to happen right away. IMO.
Kudos for trying and understanding him. I know this is an extremely special time for all of you.
Mine does that when her dad comes home because she wants his attention and she is stingey with him and wants him all to herself when he comes home. We usually just let it go and he pays 100% attention to her but she goes to bed early and then we have our time.
That is just how we work it out instead of getting on to her all the time. We know it won't last forever so we chose to do it this way.
I think you've gotten some good advice here. But some of it seems more appropriate for a slightly older child. I say this because I have a little one around the same age. I think that's why you say he is just not getting it no matter what you try. I think it's still a good idea to continue what you are doing and to follow some of the advice here, just don't expect big results for a little longer. I know my little one has no concept of time. Telling him to wait one minute is the same as telling him to wait 100 minutes. But he is at the age where every month, almost every week, I'm seeing him mature so that he can actually understand and comprehend what I'm saying. So I say keep doing what you're doing, even if it doesn't seem to be working right now, and he'll start to "get it" soon.
when on important calls lock yourself in your room and even in the closet if hes really loud so you can get some quiet... i have had to do this. its only for a few mins and at 2 he should be ok for 5 mins. as for when he interrupts when you and hubby are talking face to face say sternly but not mean we are talking right now and just keep on talking then when you are done ask what he wants. this has worked well with our little girl who started this about the same age as your little guy good luck!
Here's what we did with our kids (who still need reminding at times): When adults are having a conversation and they interrupted, we would stop and tell them that the adults are talking and they have to say "excuse me" and wait until the adults are ready. When our kids said excuse me, we would tell them "just a minute" and intentionally make them wait for at least the end of our sentence until we acknowledged them. This is going to be difficult in the beginning but he will get it. The important thing is to be consistent. But don't make him wait too long before turning your attention to him.
