1St Swim Lesson - Does This Sound Right?

My son also didn't want to put his face under water. The swim instructor was so patient with him, but did dunk him on the 2nd or 3rd class because he just wouldn't do it. Once he did, he was fine. Now he swims like a fish. That was 2 summers ago. We need him to tread, and then he will be good to go.

That is also what they do to babies. They take them and put them face first into the water and scoop them up. It's normal and fine. It's how babies and kids learn to be okay with the water. It's better to do that then to have them fall in and not know what to do.

She actually held his head underwater? Or did he hold his head underwater? If she did it, no question, get a new instructor. But, as others have said and what I've gathered online, it's normal to get them underwater ASAP, swimming means you go underwater. So he may just not be quite ready to learn.

Learning to put your face in the water, blow bubbles, and do supermans (when they push off the wall, arms out in front, face in the water, and swim for as far as they can) are the normal first steps to learning to swim. You can not learn to swim if you can not put your face in the water. What you describe sounds perfectly normal, unless the teacher is holding your child under the water by force.

I used to teach swim lessons. Putting your face in the water is a level 1 skill that hopefully kids are mastering by age 2 and three. Until you can master this skill, you are a level one swimmer and there are no real swimming skills that can be learned. Your stuck with learning to be comfortable in the water, but not to actually swim. At age 4, you are hoping to be working within level three swimming skills (you can look up these skills and levels by goggling Red Cross swimming levels). Every child is different and I certanly had my share of age 4 level 1 swimmers as well as my share of level three three- year -old swimmers. We learn at different paces, so please don't think I'm guilting you here.
Traumatize is a strong word. But I think it is more than expected to see some regression from children as they get pushed to try new things. The real test is does this regression last one or two lessons or does it last 3 or 4 lessons? 1 or two lessons of regression are acceptable, but too much more than that and she's done more harm than good.
Since swimming is actually a life saving skill and not just something we do for fun, I say error on the side of pushing him beyond his comfort level. I pushed many times on this particular skill only because its such a crucial hurdle to progress. And I'm not going to lie, about 1 out of 10 times, it totally backfired to full on regression and loss of trust. You can have a good feel for when its time to push, but just get it wrong. But if this teacher has had some time to get a feel for your kid and is an experienced teacher and is pushing, I say ride it out, see what happens. More often than not you will see breakthrough and progress.
Now if this is a teenager on her first few weeks on the job, then tell her to back off a notch.

Not sure what method she was using but there is a particular one called ISR...Infant Swim Research. My daughter who is almost 15 started it just a few days before her 3rd birthday. From the get go, the child is let go under water and as soon as she touches the instructor's hand, she is pulled up. The instructor gradually puts distance between herself and the student and before you know it, the child is swimming under water. Now, I am going to tell you the truth, there was a bit of screaming and a little water in the nose the first time or two my daughter went under. But the instructor was very patient and made it clear to my daughter that the screaming would not keep her from going under and it sure would make it a lot harder on herself. Now, the good part. Since each lesson was only ten minutes long, five days a week, my daughter was swimming under water across the pool in the first minute of the third lesson. So, it literally took her 10 minutes to learn to swim. After that, the kid is taught to roll over and breathe for an indefinite time until help should arrive. Very expensive lessons but well worth it!

That being said, I can understand where some may not be able to watch that. Do I enjoy seeing my child upset and sputtering water? Of course not! But I had 100% confidence that at 3 years old she would not drown unless she was knocked out cold or something. She was not traumatized and does not have trust issues. So me personally? I would be ok with what your child's swim teacher is doing...

I did think that blowing bubbles and putting your face underwater and counting were primary skills before what she did, but if your son was okay with the bubbles and getting his face wet then the next step was doing what she did.

I think she was okay unless she forced him underwater, which it doesn't sound like she did. My daughter didn't learn to swim until she was 7, and the instructor had her do what you just described. She held her tummy and then she was to put her arms out straight, put her head underwater, blow bubbles and kick. That was the next step. My daughter HATED that part for a few weeks until she got used to it.

Bring him to class and let the instructor know that he's scared of that part. Then she can work on reassuring him, or taking a few steps back if needed.

I don't teach swimming, but I do teach gymnastics and sometimes kids get scared of something and don't want to come to class. Then the parent just talks to me and I work it out with the child. Sometimes I just promise not to do that part this class just to get them to come back. Then we slowly work up to it again. Perfectly normal for that age.

Nope. Fire her. We had a woman do that - force them under against their will - with our kids in a private lesson. I tried hard to tolerate it and trust her. My daughter (about 5 at the time) tolerated it and tried, but my son (3) was completely traumatized. She chastised me for his reaction. She blamed his reaction on my parenting. After allowing this BS for several weeks and trusting her, I talked to her supervisor (she was actually the director of the swim program), and they were appalled. She also was forgetting appointments and double booking private appointment times. She was a hot mess. She was eventually fired and the gym apologized for her bad decisions and compensated us. My son wouldn't get back in the pool for over a year. Fortunately, he's an awesome swimmer now (almost 9 years old) - he has had lessons with about half a dozen different instructors and none of them have treated their students that way.

ETA: Okay, I just have to say that 4 is not at all "behind the curve"! My husband is a former swim instructor. Most children start around the age of 4-6. You have done nothing wrong by waiting until age 4. Most children will become comfortable getting their face wet on their own time frame, but if you push them before they are ready, they will fight back all the way. Encourage, yes. Reward, yes. Even insist. But force? No.

At age 4 he is way behind the curve, he needs to get comfortable with his head going under to be a swimmer, that's just the way it is! Obviously you were not able or willing to teach him this so now it is up to the instructor...so o say let her do her job!

As long as she is not holding him under.

Where did you find the instructor? Did you do your duty in finding a professional? If so, let her do her job... and don't undermine her by babying your child... Be positive & tell him how awesome he did, stuff like that!

This sounds totally reasonable for a first swim lesson to me. If you want "the instructor to not force his face under water if he's not read" you should be waiting on swimming lessons. You are paying her to teach him to SWIM. You can't swim without putting your face in the water. You really just can't.

If you are expecting him to learn to do something NEW in these lessons, you have to give up the expectation that he'll only be asked to do what he ALREADY does.

Hindsight is 20/20, but this is probably something you should have taken care of yourself BEFORE you signed him up for lessons (if not the FIRST time you took him to the pool... Putting your head under is PART of being in the pool).

Help him relax by modeling relaxed behavior. Don't let him stress about lessons, be cheerful and go to the next lesson. Don't let him talk up the face in the water stuff.

Good luck with this.

T.

She's just trying to get him comfortable under water. That's how I taught my oldest to swim. He screamed the first couple tries but then once he saw he would be OK be was fine. With my baby I put her in infant swimming, where they have the instructor flipping the baby under water. And teaches them to float around to their backs. At only 17 months old I can tell you my daughters favorite thing to do in the pool is being tossed in the air and going under water. Give the lessions more time for him to get comfortable.

I used to teach swim lessons, and I never forced a child's head underwater. I would encourage them to do it themselves, but never force. I would not want my husband doing that to our child, let alone the lifeguard.

Sometimes instructors rush things, but really, sometimes a little dunking doesn't hurt. I taught many kids to swim and once they were comfortable in the water, they got dunked very briefly. Sometimes they cried. Sometimes they got angry, but we could almost always get them to see how brave they were for going under. We always told them that we were so proud of them. We also didn't let parents stay. Parents freak out when you dunk the kids or make them try new things. A little pushing isn't always bad.
Give her another chance.

I started dunking my kids under water at age 1. We would go under together and I would come up happy and smiling saying you did it, great job. They were fine with it.

I would let her teach him. He will never learn to swim if he can't get his head under water.

It sounds fine to me, and as far as the debate over whether he is "behind the curve or not" it really doesn't matter. He's learning now, and that is a good thing.

I do think that when children learn to swim varies a lot depending on where they live. You are in California, and in warmer states (I'm in Texas) it seems that children do tend to start swimming lessons sooner than in cooler states - where someone so adamantly mentioned that her husband who taught swimming lessons, stated that children didn't start until later. That is likely true in a cooler state. Anyway, I'm glad that your son is learning now, and hope that future lessons go more smoothly.

Putting the face in the water from the first lesson is pretty typical. My daughter is only 2.5 and she did it from day one. The teacher didn't push her head down, but rather held my daughter and "swam" her forward while dipping her face in the water. As long as she wasn't actually forcibly pushing his head in, it doesn't sound problematic to me.

He'll never be able to progress at all until he's comfortable putting his face in the water.

Another terrible swim instructor doing more damage than good. Pull him from the class.

My 3.5 yr old was a bit skiddish too, we just started lessons a couple weeks ago. What they did at out school was let him sit on the edge with his feet in and kick his legs, then they got him on the stairs, then they got him to hold onto the teacher with one arm and kick his legs and then the put this cute toy fish out in front that he immediately let go of the teacher, so his body was in like a doggie paddle and the teacher was holding him around the trunk if his body. No face dunking. He was willing to jump off the side, first class, so I think the slower approach worked. I think she is rushing him, I would ask her to work more on his comfort level, good luck!

It's not normal, but it happens. A city program dunked our daughter on her first day of swim class. She had loved the water until then and it completely freaked her out. It took two sessions at a private swim school afterward to get her comfortable in the water again (and the first session, she screamed and cried the entire time).

Take your child out of this class and find another program. Ask around to find out how they teach kids, so you can prevent this from happening again.

Did she actually put his head under water against his will? THAT would make me change. Now if he did it himself and was crying because he didn't like it, that's different, but if she actually PUT his head under water, that would not work for me. I would ask for my money back.

Ugh, that sounds horrible. That's not how they do it at our rec center pool. They ease them into putting their faces in, by blowing bubbles etc, then putting their faces in and eventually the whole head...but not for a few classes, if the kids are reluctant.

My son also didn't want to put his face under water. The swim instructor was so patient with him, but did dunk him on the 2nd or 3rd class because he just wouldn't do it. Once he did, he was fine. Now he swims like a fish. That was 2 summers ago. We need him to tread, and then he will be good to go.

That is also what they do to babies. They take them and put them face first into the water and scoop them up. It's normal and fine. It's how babies and kids learn to be okay with the water. It's better to do that then to have them fall in and not know what to do.

The only issue I have is that she needs to give him some of the control. He does need to learn to get over his fear of water, but she is taking the control away from him. Some ideas are for her to go under w/ him and just kinda bounce under and come right back up or for you to take him somewhere and do it w/ him.

You don't want him so afraid he won't try anymore, thus taking away learning to swim. My kids never had formal lessons, but as a former swim instructor and having a sister who also taught and was a lifeguard, we made sure my kids felt comfortable in the water and knew how to swim. And last year, my 13 yr old son joined a swim team and did very well! :)

Best of luck w/ this! I truly hope your son can overcome his fear!

We live in southern Florida where all kids need to know how to swim and I would NOT be OK with what you described.

That's a great way to scare a kid out of the water imho.