19 Month Old Still Having TONS of Sleep Issues

Updated on February 06, 2009
C.P. asks from Wolcott, CT
18 answers

My 19 month old son is surely the worst sleeper. We've tried everything--to no avail. He falls asleep on his own around 7-7:30...sleeps fairly ok 'till about 1:30-2. However, from 2 'till 6:00(wake up) he tosses, turns, cries, screams, moans...Sometimes he's still asleep; other times he's awake. He does this wether we go to him or he's in our bed. It's awful. I don't sleep. He doesn't sleep. UGH. However, he doesn't seem tired during the day & takes a 2hr. (sometimes3) nap. What do we do? We have another baby on the way and I'm very concerned about how it'll be. I've talked with the doctor and he says, "It's just him." I wish things were smoother. I can't even get up early to do things (exercise, clean, bills, etc.) 'cause he cries too much; it's overwhelming.

What can I do next?

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J.G.

answers from New York on

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 15 months old and the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child saved my sanity. The link is below.

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

Putting my son to bed earlier (he now sleeps from 6pm-6am) was the key to his sleep problems. Good luck, I hope this book works for you!

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D.C.

answers from Albany on

I would get a second opinion about it. Are there other pediatricians in the practice you can ask? He/you can't go on with no sleep....it's not healthy. Maybe it is just him, but I can't imagine it. It sounds like he's uncomfortable for some reason. Reflux would certainly interrupt sleep like this. Put a wedge under his mattress to raise the head. (We got one at Babies R Us...not expensive, but made a big difference for baby's sleep.) Maybe his ears are hurting and that wakes him up. I'm sure there are a lot of things that could interrupt sleep, but I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it as "just him".
Good luck. I hope you can figure it out before the new baby is born.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

My first born was not a good sleeper! I suggest you drop the nap down to 45 mins or 1 hr and keep him awake reading, playing and busy until 8-8:30pm. A bath before he turns in for the night might work. Sleep patterns develop early, but it sounds to me like he does not need as much sleep time as he is getting.

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A.S.

answers from Albany on

My 16 month old did thid for a month. No idea why... I would sometimes feed her and then she would sllep until 7. Sometimes that workrd other times, no idea. I would try that. I know they don't need a bottle/sippy at that age, but what ever works, is how I feel at 2am. She would wake for about 2 weeks at 3am every night. I am thinking a growth spurt maybe. Hang in there, it will get better. Try anything, and see what happend. For a while go to bed early, that is what I did so I slept like 8-3. It hopefully is just a period of time. Check to make sure there is nothing wrong thoug, ear troubles ect. Good luck. We are all in the same baot at one point or another. Alison

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M.S.

answers from New York on

I have 19 month old twin boys and I put them to bed at 9 p.m. with the TV on in their room, they fall asleep and around 11:30 pm I go in and shut the TV off and they're fine throughout the night. Maybe he needs some "white noise" to calm him and reassure him. Good Luck

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D.N.

answers from Albany on

I would cut the nap to only one hour, then wake him up with lots of hugs and kisses. Keep him up until 8:00pm or so. At 7:00pm. give him some warm milk to drink, a warm bath, books, etc. Use a white noise machine in his room so he stays asleep. Good luck to you.
D. xo

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L.Z.

answers from New York on

I have not experienced what you are experiencing since I have a five month old, but in reading your description my first thought was night terrors. You might want to do a bit of research on them, and maybe seek a second opinion because I don't think it's fair for the doctor to blow it off. It's hard on you and hard on him! Good luck.

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C.H.

answers from Rochester on

Hi C., my name"s C.. My son use to have the same issues, only not quite that young (4-5). Here's something to think about,could he be simply having nightmares or night terrors? If you think that's a possability don't worry, night terrors are very common in young children due to the developing of the brain. Unfortunetly there's really nothing you can do if thats the case. He will eventually grow out of it as his brain grows, so feel better, they don't last forever! (But I feeel your pain and concern!) Hope this helps! Good luck and best wishes!

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi C.
Sounds as if you could use some sleep, and perhaps some "alone" time. That is the beauty of having children -- their needs come first.
I think we have talked before, but yours can have the year's worst sleeper but not the all time worst sleeper because mine holds that until someone tells me different.
Mine, honestly and truly, did only sleep 2 hours in 24. I was trying everything too, at 19 months. It was awful!!! He ran around our bed from 10 til we got up in the morning. He slept from 8-10. Nothing would change it. No naps, no rest for the weary(that was me), no nothing. The MD always said he was healthy and it was just "the way he was wired"
Reading books didn't help because they can make you feel guilty, that doesn't do me/you any good.
Talking to others didn't help because no one had a child that slept like mine, then I had the weird kid-- that didn't help.
Nothing helped except accepting the idea and working with him.
If you can move the time even til 8, you might get some sleep while you wait for him to wake up. If you go to bed when he does, you might get some sleep before he wakes up.
In actual fact he is getting 6 hours of sleep in 24 if you meant no naps like I assume --I was happy with 5 when one of the twins did that. You simply need it to have a better 6 hours.
Does your house quiet down at 7PM so he goes to sleep? Try an hour of "jumping jacks, ball, or other noisy game" instead of "story time". Perhaps you could back that time to 10 in 2 or 3 weeks and then it would be sleep time for all.
My husband went to bed from 8-10 because he was the one working. Finally at about 2 1/2 years old we made him stay in his room. We knew he was safe there. He could get to bathroom & use it himself, he could navigate stairs although he was not allowed downstairs I knew he would not get hurt on them etc & By then the boys had different rooms so he could run his cars on the floor and not disturb our by then 7 yo, who needed to get up for school. About 4, he had to stay on his bed because we just said school boys had to do that and since he wanted to go to school, he did. He read books. In fact, it was his preschool teacher who asked me how long he had been reading.
My suggestion is to put learning things around him and watch what he learns. Keep his mind stimulated.
The books use averages and kids like ours make those averages lower than they would have been otherwise.
God bless you and know you are not alone.
K. SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37,coach; 32, lawyer, married with 6mo, guess who is up with him for feeding time; 18 yo twins in college after homeschooling, fine art major 3.7 GPA living on campus, and journalism major 3.8 GPA commuting.

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M.S.

answers from Syracuse on

I know how you feel. My son woke at 3:30-4:30 consistently for almost a year! For the day! He's 25 months now and we are finally in a good place. My suggestions:

- try a regular / toddler bed. May not help, may only help temporarily, but try it

- have you considered a food allergy? It's when we cut dairy completely out of our son's diet that he finally started consistently sleeping well. And my doctor discounted this idea at first!! It was an ENT that suggested it.

- you could try warm milk before bed

- keep your bedtime, or possibly adjust earlier. My son was in bed by 6:30/6:45 at 19 months.

- don't get rid of the nap. A child his age needs the sleep, and he's not going to make up for it at night if he isn't already sleeping at night.

- white noise. We use a cool mist humidifier. We also have a Sony alarm clock with "nature" sounds that's tremendous. It also has a CD player so we play lullabies on it.

I second the Weissbluth book mentioned. This book saved our lives!! Our 2nd baby is a much better sleeper because we knew so much more. She's almost a year and finally is sleeping through the night. Good luck, I seriously know your pain.

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R.W.

answers from New York on

I would eliminate the nap and see how he does at night. Most of my kids by this age "gave up" the nap routine and slept thru the night because of it. For me, give me a full nights sleep ANY day over a daytime nap. I know it's hard cuz you can get so much done when they take a nap. But, you can get even more done when you are ALL fully rested at night!!! try it and see...if it still makes no difference then you may have to change the diaper in the middle of the night, or put him to bed later at night like at 8 or 9pm or right when you go to sleep...that way you are all sleeping at the same time! I sure hope it works out...hang in there, I've been there too...many times...it WILL get better!!!

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N.M.

answers from New York on

two thoughts...does he seem scared in his sleep? if so maybe the beginning of night terrors? Ask your doctor or look it up on line....second thought...dont let him sleep that long during the day..might be disturbing his sleep at night. hope that gives some help

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E.G.

answers from New York on

Hi C., I wish I could say I have good news for you but I am really responding with support for you since my son (14 months old) is also a horrible sleeper. I hate to say it because he is such a joy in every other way. He just does not sleep well. As an infant he was okay, he got up to 5-6 hours in a stretch, then last summer we went on vacation for a week and he slept like an angel 8 hours with no wake ups at all the whole week, I thought that would be the start of a full night sleep for me but when we got home it was over. I still wonder if being out in the sun all day was what made him sleep like that! He used to sleep anywhere we put him, even on the floor! Now, it seems he only wants to sleep on top of me, literally, next to me is not good enough he wants to be on my chest, I swear the kid would crawl back into my body of he could! We have tried everything with him as well. I have just come to hope that things get better once he is in his toddler bed, I have heard sleep patterns change after age 2. I am hoping that the next year of this is all I will have to withstand. I am so tired of the night time struggle. What can I say...this is motherhood, I love my son and will no matter how many hours he keeps me awake at night.

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J.R.

answers from New York on

Had the same issue, had one on the way too and was freaked out.
This is what we did...
Sleeps in her own twin daybed with a rail and loves it. Sometimes we leave the light on, otherwise just a night light. I cleaned out and simplified her room, that made a huge difference. Too stimulated and I dont think helped with night terrors.
Pay attention to temperature. Is he too hot or cold? Try not socks on feet. Sippy with milk...hungry? Also have a new air filter in there. It is a Honeywell that works wonders and makes a great sound and she sleeps like a kitten now. She was THE WORST SLEEPER EVER!

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A.F.

answers from New York on

my youngest son was and still is like this. i tried some sleep training methods (ferber and weissbluth) and they both helped out at different stages. it is better now, my son is about 2.5, but he still sometimes starts his day at 4:30am. If he is still teething, try Gentle Naturals Homeopathic teething drops--usually at Target in the baby section or try online. could he be hungry? we tried topping off my son right before bed with some whole milk yogurt. i'm not sure anything worked but it does seem to be better now. when my son does this, he doesn't always seem to be fully awake, almost like he is having nightmares and sometimes i hear him talking in his sleep. you can try giving him tylenol or motrin and see if that helps, but i would not give it too him every night. trust me, i know it is tough. i work full time and i have 3 children--the oldest is 3.5 and twins 2.5. good luck!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Is this something that has just begun or has he always done this waking from 2-6? If it is new then I am thinking maybe nightmares or night terrors. My son would have them but they were not daily. I am not sure why your doctor is dismissing it as "just him". Does he have any stomach issues like reflux? Maybe try to elevate his crib if it is reflux it will help for nighttime. I know my mom has it and the same thing happens to her in the middle of the night she has to prop her self up on pillows to get relief. It wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion from another doctor or if that's not an option then I would insist your current doctor take this more seriously. There is no reason why your son and you have to suffer with such a restless night sleep. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck!!

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K.M.

answers from New York on

I feel your pain....my daughter slept through the night @ 2 mos and then all of a sudden after she turned 1 gave us the same problems. Here is what we did....put her in a regular bed which worked for a while but then started again so we took the bed rail off and since that night (except for when she was sick) she has slept in her bed through the night. I also have a sound machine in there for her with ocean waves although while we were away @ my grandparents I didn't bring it so I used their hold music on the phone (which was calm orchestra music) and it worked just the same. I did notice that she needs to be in bed and almost asleep by no later the 7:15 b/c if she goes over her time she doesn't get a good nights rest. She still naps everyday for at least 2.5hrs (if not more) and I will continue to give her a nap until she is in school fulltime. I find when she hasn't napped that also has an effect on a restless nights sleep b/c her body is overtired.

So here are a few things to try based on my experience above:
* put him in a toddler/reg bed (if he is still in crib)
* play soft music or white noise
* put him to bed even just 15 mins. earlier, when I want my daughter to go to bed I set a timer so when it goes off she knows its 'nite nite' time and there has never been an argument.

Hope this may help in some way and you get a little relief.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

Both of my girls require hardly any sleep - our oldest who will be 11 has gotten better (now asleep by about 10:30) whereas our 5 year old just doesn't give in. We had spoken w/our ped years ago regarding Samantha because we figured that she was our first we must not be doing something right. After many attempts to get her to sleep before 9PM we would end up with a very wound up, awake child at 3AM. Sleep has not been one thing we've gotten a whole lot of w/our girls. We try no tv before bed, no juice or anything before our youngest daughter's bedtime - sometimes cut her off around 7, but we have honestly gotten to a point that we tend to give up. Our oldest has gotten much much better but our youngest will stay up until the wee hours of the morning then want to sleep until 11 - There are some days that I allow her to do this, but others she needs to be at school by 9. I really think one thing that works is the whole warm bath thing just before bedtime. I know that this email isn't offering you much hope, but it will hopefully get better.

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