My 18 month old is definentally getting into his terrible twos already. I don't know how to discipline him when he acts out. The main thing that I am wondering is how do I keep my sanity! Sometimes I just feel like pulling out my hair!
I understand. My daughter is 17 months old and I feel the same way.
Read Toddlerwise I and II. It will give you some ideas on how to discipline and what they understand.
I always heard about the terrible two's but know one told me about the terrible 3's, 4's and 5's. Every year that they grow older they are learning knew things and that is sometimes frustrating and difficult for them. Show them to be respectful of others during these young years and respectful of yourself and husband. Be consistant with manners always teaching the proper way. Stand firm, but loving during these years and when your son is older it will show. Better to teach respect and discipline now.
This is what worked for our kids and now our 2 yr old grandson. When he pitches a fit we divert his attention. Show him something he is interested in and start doing that. So far it's worked. We also tell him that is not how we behave. When he gets frustrated we have taught him to say "I need help". If our kids started tuning up in public, store or out to dinner we would point to anything with writing and say the sign says no crying allowed in here, after we leave you can cry but not now. Worked 99% of the time. If all else failed one of us would just step outside with them until they settled down. Good luck.
You just have to stay consistant. Sometimes it seems like you say no a million times a day. Watching "Nanny 911" and shows like that should help a lot. To keep your sanity, you need a little alone time. Find a good day care that can take your baby a couple hours every other day and go exersize or do your grocery shopping and some spring cleaning. Anything physical will be good for stress relief. Good luck, because the terrible twos should be called the terrible twos and threes!
Been there still doing that. I've found that being consistent works wonders. I also use the 1,2,3 method. You get three chances to do what you were told, and if you can't do that you have the opportunity to think about these things in time out, and if you can't manage to get yourself into time out with out back talk to in a timely manner your time out is going to be accompanied by a spanking. Time out works well if you do the 1 min for every year of age. At 18 months I would put him in time out for a minute and a half. After time out I make sure my daughter apologises to whomever she hurt/ didn't listen to, and I don't settle for a simple "I'm sorry" She needs to state what she's sorry for. If you have the means or think of it. Kids seems to do well if the oven timer or other type of timer is set. Good luck. It only gets better *SARCASM* My two almost three year old takes me for a ride constantly. Taking some time for yourself everyday is great if you can get it. If not try to do something for you at least once a week. I know it's hard, my husband is deployed so I get double the work load at home. It's a good thing I love my job and consider that to be like a vacation.
Redirecting works really well for kids at this age. You would be amazed at how well it works when you just give kids something else to focus on.
I used time out some at this age, but it didn't seem effective for my daughter until she was older than 2. My phrase is "that doesn't get you what you want". "Please ask in a kind way." (when throwing a fit). Taking away the object that is causing the problem ( putting the toy in a time out) works sometimes and giving another toy as a distraction. I read somewhere that you turn around and ignore the tantrum - walk away to another room until they calm down. This worked for me alot. The child isn't able to hear you if they are throwing a fit. also put him in his crib until he can calm down. One friend of mine holds her child until the fit is over and says, "you must not be getting enough love and attention, so I'm going to give it to you until you calm down." The biggest thing to remember that no matter what you do, yelling and screaming does not work. Any action you take you must be calm and in control. Go to another room if you must until you are able to do that. Also, make sure you are following a good schedule as much as possible: getting to bed around the same time every day, naps at the same time every day - if a child is well rested and well fed, it will decrease the emotional outbursts. A book that was recommended to me that I like alot is "Making children mind without losing yours." Kevin Lehman. You can get in on half.com cheap. It's been around for 20 years and uses common sense, natural consequences, etc to help you discipline. You might even find it at the library. Good luck and hang in there.
Hi K.,
bless you- discipline should be firm and constant- and here is a little encouragement (lol) the terrible two's only last until they are about 22 lol- Just give him loving little hiney pats- but be constant. time out is always good.
blessings and good luck
I feel your pain. My now 3 year old son started his terrible 2's when he was 14 months old. The good news is now that he is 3 years old, it is better.
Some discipline tactics we used are:
1. a time out chair in the middle of the room (so he can't touch anything). He had to stay there for 1 minute quiet. If he got off, we started over) There was a timer to help him realize when it was over. At first it was battle, but it worked.
2. The other thing we did was when I couldn't take it any more, he was put in his crib to play or scream whatever for a few minutes with the door open. So I could get a break. I stayed in the hall just in case, but was able to relax for a minute.
The important thing is to make sure both you and your husband (congratulations by the way) both remain consistant together in your rules and consequences so he doesn't get confused.
Having said that, be encouraged, my 3 year still has some trouble behaving, but it is a world better than before.
Terrible twos are unavoidable and you will feel as if you are going insane - welcome to Motherhood.....
Your son is getting to the age where he will start understanding right from wrong and no means no. You should stick to your guns and not falter when you tell him no. Find a time out place - a bench or chair - place it in a room where you are but away from everyone / the action so that he does feel isolated. If he has to go to time out because he doesn't listen - put him in time out for 1-2 minutes. If you place him there longer than that he will not understand but 1-2 minutes to a little one is an eternity.
Reward him when he's been good - but do not reward him when he's misbehaved.
You'll get it and be fine.
It would be helpful to have a little more information about your son. What do you mean by "acting out"? Have you had his hearing checked? Is he getting proper nutrition? Have you recently moved? Do you have an established routine?
Children will test boundaries. Some boundaries are firm and some can be moved as the child matures. Your child can sense when you are firm and when he can push your buttons. Example: Our second son never needed a nap as much as our eldest son and I needed a nap. It was usually a battle to keep him on the bed and get him to quit talking and close his eyes. Then, one day I was so sleepy and tired. My tone of voice that day got immediate cooperation from him. I think I probably said some thing like "Today, you must go to sleep right this minute." It surprosed me how quickly it worked. Don't be wishy-washy. I hope you get advice you can use. Blessings, B.
Get Dr. Sears' books titled The Discipling Book...the Baby Book is great as well.
Welcome to my world. My lovely 2 year old has been "terrible" since about 1. haha. I am a SAHM too and somedays I really want to go back to work. It is hard to discipline a 2 year old because my daughter will not sit in time out. I will put her there over and over and she continues to come out with a smile on her face. I think in these times it is best to pick our battles. I try to keep my daughter very involved in things so she really doesn't have time to get into trouble. Good luck and know you are not the only one out there having to deal with this. :)
Not sure if this will be very helpful but whatever you do be consistant. If you keep changing your discipline it will confuse your child and they won't know what to expect and may act out even more. Good luck! This is a hard time to get through, but you will!!
Whatever form of discipline you use BE CONSISTANT! Your son will start to notice when you are not consistant and take advantage of it and you whenever he can.
