17 Month Old Refuse Sleeping by Himself at Night ( Does It Happened to You Too?)

Hi, E.! This could be separation anxiety, which is common at this age; he will eventually grow out of it, but if he develops a habit of sleeping with you all the time, this will be a big problem. He could be a little ill from teething, too, and need some comfort. If he can't stay asleep after he falls asleep in your arms, I'd say there is something physical that is troubling him; teething is the first thing I would suspect. Time to break out the Orajel and the baby Tylenol. Try that first; Tylenol about 20 mins before bedtime, and the Orajel as you're rocking him to sleep. Then see if he can't be gently laid in his bed, at least for a couple of hours. He may be getting molars at this age, and those are BRUTAL to his poor, little gums.

If it's not physical, then he could be having the beginnings of nightmares, but he can't tell you about it. Try using a nightlight. There are wonderful softly lighted displays with a little quiet music that help. Lavendar-scented baby wash before bedtime helps, too.

If it doesn't clear up, I'd take him to the Pedi.

Hope everybody will be fine,
Peace,
Syl

Hi E.!
We are a spanish and english speaking family too!
I have 4 childrena and my youngest is 17 months, (a boy) and he's SUPER clingy! fortunately, he does prefer to fall asleep on his on, he sucks his thumb and rubs a satin blanket. However, my 1st 3 did not fall asleep on their own at this age and I or my husband had to lie with them for a little bit, (30 minutes at the most, and sometimes sing softly to them, and then they were out. They still need reassurance and I'm not a cry it out mom either, because sometimes they may be scared, or just need that closeness. Now my oldest 3 are 6, 4, and 3, and they have absolutely no problems falling asleep on their own. This is just a time in your baby's life that he needs that extra security. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any other questions! Enjoy that baby! Take care
V.

18 month is when the attachment is very strong. Most kids become very attached at this age, but it's important for you to teach them everything will be fine if you are not there--They also understand that crying causes you to do certain things. He will stop crying and start sleeping when crying stops working.
As far as crying it out, there are some other "gentler" methods but keep in mind, he will still cry. Check out Good night sleep tight and the Baby Whisperer Books--both with help you get him to sleep on his own.
BUT, he will cry--this is something as a parent you have to get used to. Be confident that you are doing the right thing by teaching him to sleep on his own. It's just like saying "no" to other things that you know aren't good for him.
Be strong and remember you know best.

Hi E.- EEEEK! Sorry for the dilema. Small steps. One week of hugging. One week of holding hands. One week of sitting by the bed. One week of sitting in the doorway, etc. Never, never, never, let him engage you into conversation or play. If he tries to, tell him you will leave. That it is time for sleep, not play. Warn him ahead of the next step. "Tomorrow night Mommy is only going to hold your hand", etc. Also, if he lets you read to him, try The Kissing Hand. I leave my son with a kiss in his hand every night in case he needs it. That's one method.

Another method that works is you put him in bed and leave. after several minutes you go in and calm him down by reassuring him that you are right outside and nothing fun is happening, you are just waiting for him to go to sleep so you can go to sleep. When he is calm, you leave again. Repeat this over and over until he is tired enough that eventually he falls asleep on his own.

Third method, wait it out and give him what he wants. He's probably just going through an attachment phase and maybe needs a few weeks to let go. Reassure, reassure, reassure. Love, love, love. It always seems to work best.

Sylvia is definitely right about teething. My son would not let go of me when the teeth were coming in. If you aren't giving him Tylenol or Advil, give him both, alternating every two hours for a few hours before bed. I'd give it a little time and see how it goes.

Good luck.

Hi Mama!
I'm in the Keys - how cool to see someone from my neck of the woods!
Me too, I can't let my 18 month old cry it out. I think a little crying is ok, but after a while it's just too much.
Is it possible your little guy is teething? Or sick? Or maybe just feeling some kind of stress? I know ours sleeps much worse, and needs much more comforting when he's any of those.
Also, I've heard around 18 months they go through the worst separation anxiety. Maybe he's just going thru this phase?
Best of luck at any rate - take care!
K

As long as you give in to his cries...he wins.

Hi E.;

My 27 month old still and has always slept with me. No one can tell you what feels right to you. We do let our son cry when there's nothing else we can do as far as him getting hurt. Think about it. Someone mentioned that we let our kids cry when we don't want them to get hurt; however, people forget that these are babies and not adults. I don't believe that babies win if you give in. My child has fares and feels secure when with myself or my husband; more me as I have been the one with him when he did sleep in a crib. I used to fall asleep with him attached to my breast from exhaustion and
that's how the sleeping with me started. There was no going back.

I bought one of those co-sleepers that you put in the bed; believe it or not at six weeks he would scootch out of it and I found him at my leg.

Again, no one knows your child better than you and every child is different. My son's comfort is more where I sleep than anything else. As long as he's with me, he's fine. These days are quickly passing and some day he will not sleep with us. When my child is ready, he will sleep all night in his bed. I don't push it because like anything else, it takes time. One of the things that I learned in a parenting class is that you can't make a child sleep, eat, or go potty.

Be brave and do what feels right with you and your child.