16-Month Old Behavior.....

It's normal and she will outgrow it no matter what you do. They throw for different reasons - they are learning about gravity and how objects behave. They do not yet have enough words to verbally express frustration. It becomes a game - 'look at mommy's face when I throw something, what fun'. When DS started throwing food, we told him he must be done eating and took the food away for a moment. If he seemed hungry, we gave him back a small amount at a time. For throwing other things, we said 'we don't throw x', and then gave him something else to do (distraction). Or - 'we throw the toy outside, not inside - let's go outside and throw now'

I have seen no evidence that toddlers who are punished for this normal behavior discontinue it any sooner than children who are simply distracted with another acceptable behavior.

You certainly can hit her. She will learn not to throw food when you are watching her. She will also learn that hitting is a good way to get what you want and that it's ok for big people to hit little people and that the people you most love in the world hit you.

It is pretty normal, but also a time to teach (without punishment) the behavior you would like to see through modeling (if you have tried this, sorry - it is what worked for my kiddos).
for example, finished with food, throws plate - don't pick up. "ARe you finished, sally? Sally is finished." Let her out of her chair and say, "Sally since you are finished, please put the plate by the sink." and help her.
Throws toy when finished playing. "Are you finished? It needs to go in the toy chest. go pick up the toy and put in the toy chest." You may need to help her, but as she gets more used to your expectations and what she is supposed to do, she'll do it:)
little sponges they are and so wanting to please mommy and daddy:) And key with any process - consistency.:) Good luck!

The toddler years are kind of like a mini version of the teenage years; at least she is not 16 YEARS old yet! It sounds like you have the right idea, correct her in a stern voice, and take the object in question away. The funny thing is when they throw something that they don't want so you take it away and suddenly they want it back so badly! I think the main thing to keep in mind is consistency, and keep a sense of humor! For some crazy reason it helps me when my 20-month-old son is throwing a tantrum to imagine what he is saying (not really, just to be funny). Like: “No one understands me but my girlfriend Darlene!” “I’m going to run away from home and start a punk band!” “Why doesn’t my mom ever let me do ANYTHING? I just wanted to lick the goldfish tank!” It sounds stupid, but just being able to have a quiet (usually silent) chuckle over the tantrum makes it more bearable for me. And remember, this too shall pass…and be replaced by even more annoying habits… Trust me, a 9 year old and a 6 year old have their own charming ways of making their wills known!

Keep it simple, firm and direct. The word NO is still very effective at this age! Don't bother explaining "why" she won't really get it.
When she throws something, look her directly in the eye, say "no throwing" in a loud (not screaming) voice, take the item away and say "all done!" Do not give it back, even if she cries. Move her on to another activity. Do this consistently, every time, and she will learn the consequences of throwing are not in her favor :)

I just told my daughters when they went through this stage: "We throw balls. Or soft things." And then I gave my daughter a ball to throw. She invariably threw it. And understood pretty quickly about what to throw. Food was a different story -- thrown food meant the end of the meal (because usually she was done anyway, and bored, that's why she was throwing).

Throwing is a useful skill -- just redirect it!

I do think it's deliberate, but certainly not spiteful. How fun to see the milk go flying through the air and how far will this toy go!

Give her fair warning - tell her that she can not throw her things and when she does you will take them away. When she throws her things, take them out of her reach. There will be a tantrum for sure, but be consistent. It's a great opportunity for you to show you mean what you say, as she gets older she will continue to test you more and more. Great time to nip it in the bud.

Also, it's a great way to reinforce good behavior. If she sets her milk down or sets a toy down nicely, you can reward her by giving her back the item she got taken away before.

p.s. - I'm not sure explaining WHY we don't throw things at this age will necessarily be understood until later. But she will understand the consequence of throwing = toy taken away.

Put her in time out for one min. It works! its crazy but it works. I was stunned when I found out that our day care put our son in time out. I found out about this when he was about 18 months old. They had been doing it for a long time! I was so happy as it fixed a lot of issues. Keep up the good work and yes at that age they can do things deliberately. But its up to us to teach consequences.

At this point, I would just say "No throwing" or "Food, cups, etc. are not for throwing." and keep it simple. A toddler that age really doesn't care about the "because" part and they really can't be reasoned with. Start teaching her "All done" if she can say it, or the sign for "all done" (hands facing palms up and then flipped down). Rather than thinking that she is somehow less wonderful, focus on the behavior itself and trying to teach her what is correct. But you will need to be consistent and patient and probably repeat yourself many many times.

She's probably finding it fun to throw things. At that age, my cousins' son was doing it a lot and they even gave it a name: "Whippin' Stuff". Whippin' Stuff was R's favorite game. They just reinforced what he was allowed to throw and not allowed, and when and where. Things that were thrown that should not have been thrown got taken away for a while.