I have a 14 month old daughter who is still waking up 2-3 times a night to nurse. I know she is waking up to comfort nurse. She is very capable of soothing herself during the day: nap time, falling asleep on her own at bedtime. I have weaned her down to just nursing before bedtime (and of course all night long). What should I do? Would weaning her completely help?
Hi J.,
I think that it would be ok for you to let her cry it out at night. She is old enough to do that. She can soothe herself back to sleep at night time too.
As far as weaning her goes, if you are ready to do that than it's up to you. It might help her sleep through the night. I wish you good luck!!!
M.
I never nursed as long as you have, but I can say that I've found it best to let my child "cry it out" and sooth himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. I can tell when there is a real issue and he needs me for help, etc. and if its not that then I generally don't even go into his room and they have both been sleeping through the night for a long time. (age 3 years and age 7 months) At first letting them cry it out is sad andhard, but they figure it out after a time or two (for me anyway) and then its not so bad. :o) Good luck.
When my was a baby, his pediatrician said to give him water if he wakes up in the night. He said the child will figure out it's not worth it and start sleeping through the night.
I just went through this my 13month old. We are still nursing only just before bedtime (this is the hardest of all). As for the 2-3 times a night. Here is what our doctor suggested and it worked for us. It will take several nights...be prepared.
The first night time how long she nurses for each wake up.
Then next night and each night there after, decrease the nursing time by one minute (or more if you feel like it). Gradually they get used to the shorter amounts of time. My son is (as I said above) now only nursing just before bed. This is the hard one...some nights it's short and other like last night he nursed longer. I can't stand to listen to the crying (did that with my daughter and just can't do it again, I am not saying that those of you who use CIO method are wrong or anything it's not for me so please do not take offense).
Just a small alternative to CIO.
A. M.
Weaning her completely may help, but you could just night wean her. It may create a couple of nights of more sleeplessness for you, but offering other comforts or if you have the option of having someone else to help comfort her, like a spouse. Try to reduce one comfort nursing session per night. Have you thought about offering a snack right before bedtime to ensure that it isn't hunger?
It is developmentally normal for a 14 month old to still be waking in the night. Even babies that "sleep through the night" actually DO wake, they just comfort themselves back to sleep. Removing her comfort item (nursing) may not reduce the actual need for the comfort.
I don't think that crying it out is ever an option, but that is just my opinion. When babies cry, they have a need or a want that needs to be filled.
I have had one child that has done this before. She was also a picky eater. Make sure the child eats and drinks quite a bit before bed, and that will help a lot. Weaning will not help. You said you think it is for comfort, but it sounds like my daughter who needed to eat more but like I said, she was picky.
I nursed my son till he was 18 months old. By that time I had him nursing only before bed time. I would go and pick him up when he woke up and rock and comfort him till he was calm enough to go back to sleep. He did not start sleeping through the night till he turned 2 years old. Now he is going through the night frights or bad dreams or what ever you want to call them so we are back to getting up with him just to calm him down so that he does not wake up his sister and I try to not wake up my husband who is back to work till who knows when. You have to be the one who is ready to stop nursing. I know that it took me to go away for a weekend to be ready to stop. My mom said that he did really well for not nursing before bed for the first time.
Apparantly Aunt M has a great pediatritian. I would love one who suggested that, which is pretty much what Dr. Jack Newman suggests if you want to night wean (gosh I think it was him, it has been so long since I read the article). I also wonder if she just needs more milk, if you could add one more nursing back into the day, would that help? Weaning her might help, but is that what you two want to do? Listen to your baby and what seems right to you. If it's not bothering you to roll over and nurse her a bit, do it, don't let people tell you not to. If it is bothering you (and i guess it probably is since you're writing on here), make some changes. Would it be easier if she only woke once? Have you read the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It's fairly helpful, and might give you some ideas for a nursing baby. Like all things with kids, mostly we have to figure out what works for our kids and our family!
K.
