13 Year Old Daughter

As someone who ate their way thru puberty, I can share that weight and food have been an issue since. Or at least in my mind. Looking at past pictures of myself in HS, when I thought I was soooo fat. I now look and see a girl who was not a size 7. Never was. I usually wore an 11 or 13 jrs. and thought I was obese. My point is that your daughter may be turning to food for comfort.I did/do. Maybe she's unable to deal with her emotions and food is right there. I suggest taking a family walk in the evenings, together. Seek help from a program like Weight Watchers (I have had the best success w/ them...when I am following the program!) It is only 10 bucks a week and you eat normal food. Just healthy choices. know how to eat healthy..the key is one day at a time.!
One last thing...our country is twisted! We talk about healthcare, how obese we are as a nation, and we are slammed w/ads from McD's, et al. Our kids' gym classes are few. They don't want our kids playing tag! Celebrities are held up to some outrageous standard that most people cannot maintain. I would love to see a world celebrate the fact we are different sizes, shapes and colors. It is time to tell our girls and boys, that they are ok, no matter what. The bullies are WRONG, not "us"!
Sorry, for the length. Good luck. (maybe I should get w/ your daughter and walk 3x week myself!!I need to get back on track myself!)

Hi D. -

I have a couple ideas for you to consider. I like the suggestions of the walking videos and doing something together. I think that it is always more fun to get movin when you have someone to pass that time with!!! What about getting a friend of hers to take some sort of class with her or go on bike rides? Get her out and exposed to a lot of different activities and I am sure she will find something that would interest her and could get her moving around. Also, consider a couple other things. Look in your cupboards and refrigerator/freezer and look at what you are buying. Maybe try to purchase different healthier options. There is a great cookbook & website out there called Hungry Girl and it offers ways to still eat a lot of the fun and yummy foods out there but shows you how to make them healthier and also how to make better food choices when outside the home. I really like it! It isn't a "diet" but about making better food choices. At her age she is old enough to start taking some personal responsibility too. I struggle with loving sugar! Oh my! So, because my kids would also be junk food junkies if I allowed it, then I don't buy much of that stuff. If I did I GUARANTEE that would be ALL they would eat! And though my daughter is very tiny, she has high cholesterol. We had to go see a nutritionist at the Children's Hospital and while she has much room to grow she is eating a little better. The nutritionist told me point blank though that she won't eat as much junk if it's not in the house. So, I have *tried* to not buy so much of that stuff. If you suspect she is sneaking food try to make the items you buy less tempting or ones that if she were to sneak she wouldn't eat too many empty calories. But, I highly recommend taking her to see a nutritionist. If you could even find one that is also a personal trainer that would be even more helpful! Continue to support her as it sounds like you must and be encouraging and motivating. This is her health here so do what you can to help her get some of the weight off but in a positive, healthy way. If she can help herself now it would save her years of issues later and of course make for a much healthier life ahead! Focus on making lifestyle changes for the better of your whole family and things will get better. In my opinion, I think some parents make the mistake of putting dietary restrictions on their child specifically setting them up to fail - rather than making positive eating changes within the family as a whole. Also here is an article on the internet that may be helpful - http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/nutrition/a/diet_teen2... . Just continue to research ways to help her and continue nurturing her! Education is empowerment! I know you will find something that will work - every family/person is different! Best of luck and health to you all!
Roxanna

Hi D.,

First let me say that as a mother with a 13 year old girl, it's not an easy time to begin with. Then to add issues of body image and self-esteem can't be easy.
I agree with the other posts that say to get her moving. Do you know what the best exercise is? The one she (and you) will do! But I would also get her checked by a doctor. Make sure they check her thyroid and blood sugar levels. It's not always as easy as just saying "exercise more" there are a lot of other factors involved.
Be a good role model yourself by walking/exercising and eating healthier. Trust me, it's been proven that the healthier you eat, your body starts craving good foods. And the high sugar/high fat junk foods sound less and less appealing. It's called metabolic programming. With the growing season coming up, it should be a little easier now to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. Try to limit the fast food and processed/packaged foods. Most of the time this food is full of so much artifical stuff that our bodies don't know what to do with it.
You need to start reading labels of everything. Stay away from anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup, which they seem to put into everything even breads.
No one should be getting more than 25 teaspoons of sugar a day. Which sounds like a lot when you say it like that but, a can of soda has 10 teaspoons. Some small cartons of yoguart have as much as 6-7 teaspoons. To figure that out, look at a label and where it says "sugars, so many grams," divide the number of grams by 4 and that's how many teaspoons it has per serving.
And I agree with another poster, and I mean no offense, but if you don't buy it they won't eat it. Trust me, I know from first hand experience! They won't hate you nor will they starve if you don't buy the junk food! They'll eat an apple or a handful of grapes. Or a couple pieces of cheese and whole grain crackers. And water is the beverage of choice, period.
Dr. William Sears has a great book called "The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood" that talks a lot about diet/nutrition and health. And due to my passion to educate others about eating healthier I've started a business where we discuss think like I mentioned in my post. Go to www.YourKitchenCoach.net for more information.

I would be happy to help you more privately if you'd like.

In good health,

Lori K
____@____.com

I think the family walking idea is a good one. It gives everyone some exercise without singling your daughter out. If she wants something more that she can do herself, at home, check out Leslie Sansone's walking videos. I've lost 40+ pounds using them. She does have one geared for teenagers and I think her own teenage daughter is in it with her.

I would make sure your daughter is getting enough exercise. Does she play any sports or dance classes? If not, see if there are any that might spark an interest. No matter what, try to get her moving. You might need to do it with her to help her get motivated. As for the food, she can only eat what you bring into the house. Buy whole healthy foods. I understand that it is pretty much out of your hands while she is at school, but you do have control over breakfast and dinner. Also, kids learn by example. If everyone eats healthy in the family it would make your daughters job a whole lot easier. Good luck.

I would suggest taking her to a doctor and getting a proper diet schedule. I don't mean to sound harsh but that is very over weight for an 13 year old. You truly do need to help if not for her size for her health. My prays are with you.