12 Month Old Biter

Hi. I had this problem with my son at about the same age. My pediatrician suggested we give him a short time out every time it happened. The key was to be consistent. Pick him up, put him in the crib and say, in an even and non-threatening tone, "you do not bite people". Leave him there for one minute. Go back, get him and say again, "you do not bite people". Worked for us after only a few times. Good luck.

A 12 month old won't understand a time out, but you can immediately set him down and leave the room or ignore him (briefly). Screaming or making a big deal out of it is more likely to bring on additional biting as those are fun reactions to watch. You can give a firm No Biting as you're setting him down, but I wouldn't do more than that. If you think it's teething related, definitely keep his mouth occupied as another poster suggested. I used a frozen washcloth or a mesh bag (Munchkin fresh food feeder, no affiliation) with an ice cube in it.

There are a few causes of biting. At 12 months it may be teething and so giving him other things to chew on is a good idea. However, generally biting is a sign of stress and so the worst thing you can do is any kind of time out. Actually time outs are a good parenting tool at all and definitely shouldn't be used on a child younger than 3. To deal with the stress your child may be suffering, I would give him a hug and look for what is stressing him and try to lessen exposure to that. I know it is hard when you just got biten to feel like giving him a cuddle but it is likely the best solution. Then when he is calmer, tell him that biting is not okay. My daughter when she was stressed would bite her doll or other things. If you can find some things for him to have that he can clench or chew on, that is better than him biting. If he is in daycare, it could be that the setting is stressing him out. Sometimes a smaller setting will work better but if this happens at home, it could be a variety of other triggers eg. having something taken away, not getting enough attention, overly tired. A few books that are good are: Smart Love by Martha Heineman Pieper and William Pieper and Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. Good Luck.

K., The official line on this is that the child is frustrated in not being able to talk and communicate his wishes and is biting out of frustration. So to address this issue, when he tries to talk to you stop and get down to his level and give him your full attention. Look at his body language and other cues and go from there. If what he is asking for is something he should not have then say, "Do you want to ......?" If he responds yes, then say, "No, you may not .........." This addresses his concern that he is not being understood. Help him to learn to speak by talking slowly to him in simple words, do not focus on his mistakes but on his achievements. Show excitement when he says a word . Repeat important nouns and verbs to him so he can learn them. At this age children can understand many more words than they can say, so go ahead and talk to him as if he understands. Think about what usually precedes his biting you. The next time this begins to happen again be on the alert and physically prevent him from being able to get at you with his mouth by holding his head firmly but without hurting him. Then talk to him, in a controlled voice without yelling and say he is not going to be able to bite you any more, that it is a big no no. What you are looking to do is to break a pattern of behavior so that he gets over it. You may have to do this for a month to break it.

The only thing I've ever found to help immediately is to bite them back. Not hard, but enough to widen the eyes. Tell them "see it hurts...you don't bite" My cousin was a biter and was about to be kicked out of daycare...nothing my aunt did helped. He bit my brother when visiting and drew blood. My aunt was so disturbed by it she finally just bit him back and told him it hurt. He never bit anyone again.

Same thing with my oldest when she bit me once. Same thing with my second child when she bit the neighbor child. I've never had to do it more than once. And it's done.

Biting is a sign of frustration and lack of ablity to community most of the time. It can also be because they are tired or hungry, but that just elevates the first two reasons. Helping a child find a way to communicate or feel heard that is not biting is a great way to get it to stop. Does you child know any sign language. Teach him how to tell you when he is angry. (Be sure to tell the daycare about this new sign.) 12 mos is still pretty young, but mirroring him may help. Say what you think he is feeling or thinking from the situation.
Or my daughter started biting me because she thought it was playing. MAN DID IT HURT! I didn't understand at first, but when I love on them I often tell them I am gonna eat them up I love them so much and make noises like I am eating to make them laugh and tickel them. She turning this into actual biting when we were playing around...oooops!! That was what I taughter her to do and didn't even realize it. Good luck!

K.,

We had something like this briefly when our daughter was around 12 months. I would say "No! That hurts!" very clearly, looking him in the eye, and then put him down or remove him from you. This sends the message that this is not okay. Hopefully, that will help.

S.
Mom of 7yo and 4yo

I went through the exact same thing at that age. I put my daughter in time out on the step for one minute and explained that biting hurts. I made her say sorry at the end of the minute and give a hug. It did not last too long at all. She stopped this horrible habit. She is not two and hasn't bit since she was 14 months.

My son was kicked out of daycare for biting when he was about 2. They tried many things to stop it, but nothing worked. In the end, it turned out that he was kind of stressed out by the daycare setting and switching him to a smaller situation helped.

At 12 months old, your son just might be testing you and a time out just might do the trick. You NEED to tell the daycare provider so they are aware and can prevent it. My son always went after the same kid (who incidentally has been at his school since kindergarten and neither kid knows about it).

Talk to daycare about what they would do if it happens and do the same thing. He should get that it's not ok. Be consistent!

My oldest son did this too! My younger one started this, but with him I was able to stop this Early.
My oldest was a biter for a long time. I waited too long to get help. My pediatrician had suggested to very firmly say NO, and immediately put him down and give him no attention for biting for a few minates. Try not to show him it hurt you! (VERY IMPORTANT) They sometimes learn that can be an attention getter and can start using it on others as they know it gets a reaction. (1 year olds are SMART!) On my boys, it started with teething, but progressed with my oldest son. Biting was a way for him to express frustration since they cannot express in words how they feel.
Good Luck! Hope this helps!

I think it depends why he's biting. My son seems to go thru biting phases (he's 20m now) and they all end up corresponding with new teeth. Try giving him something appropriate to chew on, a damp washcloth or a teething ring and see if that helps. If it's definitely aggressive behavior- fighting over a toy, etc then I would try distraction (moving to a new activity after saying that biting is NOT ok.) Take him out of the situation that frustrated him enough to make him bite.
good luck!