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I hear ya- I had pregnancy induced depression and i was hospitalized for major post pardum depression and anxiety when my baby was 8 weeks old. It took only 5 days to stabilize me with the right meds and a great dr. I weaned off most meds but I still take zoloft and have no plans on quitting. I still have anxiety issues and was recently diagnosed with extrememly high cortisol levels which cause anxiety and depression. Hang in there- you can see by the responses you are not alone. Take comfort in that.

Hi B., I do not have a Dr. recommendation... just advice. Rather than feel embarassed, you should be very proud of yourself for taking the steps to get help. Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is not something that you choose. It is a chemical imbalance. It is no different than someone with any other illnes, but our society attaches a stupid stigma. At least it is getting somewhat better. Ask your OB/GYN for a recommendation or referral, I am certain they deal with post partem & know of a good psychiatrist.

On a side note, you said you don't have friends... check out meetup.com for a play group in your area- it is awesome!

Also, if you just want to chat online, cafemom is a very active site (though, some can be harsh :)

Best of luck!!!!!!!!
S.

B., i cant say i have been in your shoes, but it doesnt sound like your phyciatrist let you go because of anything you did or didnt do;(who really knows why though, maybe shes not getting much business or something and needing to close or something. i would find another one. maybe some one can refer you to another good one, but in the mean time i would just "think good thought" about what the possible reasons why are. good luck in your search.

My entire family has a history of depression. I know it goes back to my Grandmother (she died from alcoholism) and probably father than that. EVERYONE has some level of it. My mother, uncle, brother, sisters, nieces, nephews. ALL of them. After my second child I had to go on anti depression medication. I could not control my self. I was exhausted (she was a colic baby), so on top of the depression I was sleep deprived. Now that I am on the medication, I have tried several times to stop. Nothing good came from it. With in a week I am back to the way I was. For your sake, your children, and your marriage...I don't advise taking your self off the medication!!!! You only need a general practitioner to describe the anti depressant medication. You sound more sever than I am, but sound alot like my older sister. As she gets older it gets worse. At this point she lives in her house and rarely leaves. So do find a replacement (no suggestions, sorry) and do tell your husband. Nothing good comes from keeping secrets in your marriage. I wish you luck and will send out some prayers for you. I know this is not something you can fix, but only something you can manage for the rest of your life. You have to fight to keep yourself going!!

Hi B.,
I have struggled with depression for most of my adult life. It also runs in my family. One thing I know, is that you have to constantly fight it! You can (and should) see a good doctor, and taking meds usually helps,(every so often you may need to switch or change the dosage) but you also have to be pro-active. When I was in your situation, I found a mops group that met near my house. It made all the difference! So, that would be my first suggestion, find a good support group, play group,(where you can hang out w/the other moms while the kids play) or a local women's bible study that has childcare provided. If you go to one and it's not working for you, stop and find another. I know it can be hard, but you are stronger than you know. Ask your OB for another recommendation, that's really too bad that your dr dumping you like that. I don't understand these things...But don't give up. I know I didn't answer all of your questions, I just want to encourage you, you are not alone, people really do care!
Please let us know how things are going. E-mail me privatly if you want.

I want to start by congratulating you on doing such a fine job recovering and refusing to turn to alcohol as the solution. I have been a single mom of two since my kids were 1 and 3 and they are now 9 and 11. There are times when I feel like it is all too much responsibility to handle. Though I have never turned to alcohol, I can fully understand the need to escape. The only thing I can say to you from experience and though it's a phrase you've heard repeatedly, everything happens for a reason. You may feel like the help you received from this doctor is beyond words but that may be as far as she was ever going to take you. It may be time for you to find someone else that can take you to an even different level of internal peace. Finding someone new allows you to tell your story all over again and not feel like you are repeating yourself b/c it's the first time they have ever heard it. Sometimes just getting it out of our system is what we need. You have your hands full and it is so difficult for you to find time for YOU but that is something you will need. Find a new doctor, regain your strength, and talk to your husband. Tell him what happened after the fact and let him be proud of you for resolving it all on your own without falling apart. Let him know that you want to be strong and not fall into that dark hole again and you need his help. You need time for YOU. Even if it's an hour or two every other day to go to the gym or go for a walk or take an uninterrupted bath you need that. Make friends.....as a woman with so much on her shoulders, you need that. A good girlfriend is worth her weight in gold when it comes to moral support and you may find greater therapy in that as well. Good Luck to you! Stay strong!

It happened to me, but not for missing an appointment. I stood up for myself because the counselor was bringing up issues I did not want to talk about, backed me in a corner and verbally attacked me. After I left, it did not sit well with me and my gut was to call back and tell her that can't happen again. Aren't we always learning about respecting appropriate boundaries for ourselves? I am. So she dumped me. Consider it a blessing. I found better help...with a PhD. My gal is in St Pete but I could ask her for a recommendation in Riverview and see what she comes up with. Message me if you would like. Door closes. Window opens. Take care.

Hi, B.! I really feel for you. I, too, have a history of depression and I know pregnancy and small kids can make it really hard to cope. I am so glad you were able to reach out for help on this board!

The first thing I can tell you, from experience, is that you must tell your husband. If you want to say something like, "I have something to tell you. I'm worried you're goign to get upset but I really need you to support me", then please do, but you must tell him. This is one of those times when you need to lean on his support for a bit so that the whole family can stay healthy.

I hope he will support you in reaching out some more. I think one of you should probably call the psychiatrist's office and ask why this happened. Personally, I'd rather pay the fee than switch doctors, but I don't know your situation. If they seem sure about this, ask them for a recommendation to a new psychiatrist. Call your ob's office and ask for a recommendation (also tell them what happened--they may want to keep this in mind before they recommend the psychiatrist again).

I don't want you to feel overwhelmed, but you also might want to ask your ob to keep an eye on your thyroid levels (TSH) during the pregnancy and after. Thyroid and PPD are strongly linked, and I personally feel like my thyroid and depression problems are all linked.

Do not stop your meds on your own--especially when you're pregnant!

Give yourself a break each day. Take fifteen minutes to just sit on the floor and play with your girls. That helped me a lot. So did getting a notebook and, before I went to bed each night, writing down one amazing or cute thing my daughter did or said. No matter how awful the day seemed, there was always at least one thing.

Those two things really kept me going.

I hope that everything works out for you. Tell your husband, and I'm sure you can work it out! Always remember that this is a disease and not something you did or chose.

B., I also suffer from depression and anxiety and just go to my general practitioner for meds. My doctor is actually the one who suggested I stay on meds instead of going off of them when I was feeling better. I used to just take meds for a couple of months & go off of them when I was "normal" again. The problem with doing that was every year I went through major depressions which were putting myself & my family through living you-know-what. Now I just stay on my meds, visit my doctor every 6-9 months & I am finally back to functioning "normally".
Look into either finding another psychiatrist or talk to your practitioner or OB/GYN about staying on meds.

Don't feel embarrassed by anything having to do with depression or the fact that your psychiatrist dropped you. Get the help you need and move on beyond what happened the other day. Help is out there & there are a lot of us in the same boat suffering from depression and balancing the role of mommyhood.

Jan :)

No, you are not alone. Battling depression especially before or after having a child is normal. I struggle with depression every day, but I am not on meds. I started on them almost 9 years ago, but all I did was sleep (more than I already was), and with 2 small children, that was not an option. I found a Christian counselor, and depended on God to get me out. I know this sounds like a cliche, but Jesus was my only was out. He became the one I could talk to when no one else was there, especially because it always hit me the worst at night. I wish you the best, being a mom is very hard and having a good husband makes all the difference. I can't offer much help, but only the knowledge that there is a way out, and hope of making it.

I am so sorry you went through that. I'm not sure as to what psychiatrist policies are regarding patients not attending a session, but it does sound harsh to me. Especially when you are pregnant and sleep deprived, I couldn't even remember my name at times! Have you considered maybe writing a letter to your doctor? That is if you wish to continue with the same doctor or at least clear up the misunderstanding. Sometimes writing/reading can help bring a sense of closure and we can express things that are hard to say out loud. Many times people hear better when reading something from the heart. I do hope you will be blessed with proper care and support. Have you tried finding a support group or a mom's group to join in addition to your medical help? They can be very nurturing.
Good luck, sweetheart. I wish you the best.

My husband's entire family has long histories of depression and he has battled it his entire life. From this experience the one piece of advice I can give is that you HAVE to talk to him! There was one point in our marriage where he was going through a really rough spot and didn't say anything to me and hid it from me. It finally came out when we had a huge fight (and we almost never fight) and it turns out it was largely fueled by this. I made him promise to never keep it from me again even though he told me there was nothing I could actually do for him. Tell your husband not so he can fix it, but so he is informed and knows to look after you. I can't help but feel there is more to your doctor dropping you for missing one appointment. If I'm wrong, then definately tell the doctor who refered you so they know to be careful about future referels. You never stop taking your meds, you should know that by now. Talking to your husband can also get you some middle of the night help as well. Being sleep deprived depresses everyone, so be careful. This next idea is definately way beyond what I should say, but I'm not meaning it in a negative way, I swear. You and your hubby should look into a permanent birth control. My hubby's sister just about completely lost it in a bad way after her 4th kid because she has some of the same battles you do. The family had to have a "stop having kids" intervention and now that they are all older, she is much better off.

All I know about the depression battle is that I don't know anything about it really, because I personally don't go through it. My husband says it is nothing anyone can understand unless they go through it and nothing I can help him with. I just ask him periodically how he is doing so that nothing sneeks up on us. I wish you the best of luck and you need to start your doctor hunt today! I love the journal idea from the other poster. Everyday the kids do adorable things and if you try to look at life through their innocent, happy eyes you could only be better from it.

Hi B.

First, you should talk to your husband about it. Bottling things inside only makes them worse. He sounds supportive, let him help you...you don't have to go it alone.

Second, have you spoken with your OB? They would want to know about this, as it affects your mental well being and the health of the baby growing inside you. I would not stop taking meds w/out a doctor overseeing my condition while pregnant.

They are plenty of great health care providers in the area. Ask your OB for a reccommendation.

I hope it gets easier for you, take it easy, pregancy hormones are enough on their own w/out the added taxation of being clinically depressed. Call your OB today

P.

Sorry to hear of your situation. It is stressful enough to have 1 or 2 children, 3 yrs old and under, and you are going to have 3. It's a lot to handle for anyone, especially someone with a history of battling depression.

I feel there has to be more to this than just a missed office visit. If it were me, I would talk to the psychiatrist and ask for a second chance. Or find another Dr. Talk to your OB and get another recommendation. DO NOT go off your medication. That's the worst thing you can do right now. If you were getting the prescription from the psychiatrist, your OB can probably prescribe you medication, in the meantime, while you are in search for a new Dr.

I have also had a history of depression and PPD, but not to the extent you are dealing with it. My PPD was the worst time of my life. Everything seemed hard to do and I dreaded waking up in the morning. I just couldn't understand why I was here, and I was in desperate need to find my purpose in life. I had to renew my faith in God and trust that I am here for a reason. I may never know what that reason is, but I kept telling myself that my existence mattered and even though I may never know why, that I was exactly where I was supposed to be in that moment in time. I pushed myself to attend a local mothers group at the hospital and I received a lot of wonderful support and advice from the mothers there.

Since you mentioned not having any friends to talk to, I suggest finding a support group. Maybe a local mothers group who meet once a week. Try your local hospital, or try meetup.com and do a search for your area. Maybe your Dr. would know of a group for other mothers feeling just like you are. Putting yourself first at this moment, to heal yourself, will be the best gift you can give yourself and your family.

You CAN do this! Best of luck to you.

Oh, no. I'm sorry to hear that. Just keep the faith and don't listen to negativity. Those people just want to bring you down and keep you down. I live in the St. Pete area, kind of far. But you have my prayers.

I am very sorry about your troubles. Get a good primary care dr and make sure your thyroid is ok. We all make mistakes and forget things especially when we are pregnant. Don't beat yourself up. Take care.

Hi there,
I might not know the right words to say but i feel for you. When i was pregnant i couldn't control my emotions... one minute to being happy the next so upset or depressed. And once the baby came everything went back to normal for me but it was horrible and i can only imagine what you've been through and going through. I don't know anyone who i could refer you to, but i just wanted to let you know if you ever need someone to vent to just let me know. I wish you and your family the best!

I wish I had a doctor's recommendation for you, but at the minimum, I can suggest that if your insurance company has a website, like United or Aetna do, then you can go to "Find a physican", then "mental health services". I have used both Aetna and United's search engines, and you can find a doctor that specializes in certain areas. If you feel more comfortable with a male or female, you can further narrow it down that way. I did this for my son, who we know has anxiety issues, and we suspect OCD, so we found a child psychologist that specializes in those areas.

Since you're pregnant, and have been continuously pregnant over past few years, it's no wonder you're very up and down in your hormones. It sounds like your body never was able to recover from the previous pregnancies before it was pregnant again. (And I've heard having girls actually doubles your female hormones as it is.) If you want to look into supplements that you can take while your pregnant that might help, look up the products on www.nativeremedies.com or www.naturaleco.com. I've been taking their anxiety products with success for a couple years now. If the prices turn you off (which they do to me on occasion), I've found sellers for the products on Ebay for much cheaper.

I don't have any firsthand experience but would call her office and beg, grovel, whatever if she is that important to your mental health. If that doesn't work stop by with flowers and a note. I am assuming this is the first time you missed so it sounds like she is being harsh on you BUT since she knows you and it sounds like she really helped I would do whatever it takes for her to take you back, especially right now, being pregnant, etc. GOOD LUCK

Hi B.,

I suffer from anxiety and so can understand a little of what you are going through. Like another suggested, I do find that prayer helps a LOT. I ask for comfort and help to deal with my anxiety, to have faith that everything will work out and that we are never given more than we can handle, and for the ability to find joy in this moment in life.

That said, I also agree that you should contact the dr.s office and try to find out why you were dumped. That does not sound normal (or very compassionate for that matter). Your husband is right though-- you might be better off with a different doctor if that's the way she works.

Good luck! I remember having a lot of anxiety during my pregnancies and it seems to exacerbate things. Hang in there.

It is very unusual for a psychiatrist or any physician to "dump" a patient for missing 1 appointment...I would ask the office for suggestions of other psychiatrists in the area and make an appointment ASAP. You need to get help for yourself and be honest with your husband so he can help support you. Since you don't have anyone to talk to, I would look for support groups like AA, you are going to need all the support you can get to avoid a further downward spiral.
Good luck

Hi B.,
I'm sorry to hear you went the medication route. There are many side effects to them that are extremely dangerous and can make coming off them difficult. Saying that, however, there is a way to do it safely - there is a center called Novus Detox that I would suggest you look at seriously, if you want to really handle the situation. You can check out their website here: http://www.novusdetox.com.

You will get all the help you need coming off the medications and also assistance with dependency on alcohol and medications. If you really handle the issues underlying it you can free yourself from needing it as a solution.

Secondly, many things can cause cravings - primarily lack of adequate nutrition in the body - I suggest you check out docmccullen.com and sign up for the nutritional analysis and handle any issues relating to this. You can also find information to go in and see her - she would help a lot.

You can email me further at: ____@____.com check out childrensbehaviorhelp.com for good information.

Best,
W.