Hi,
My 11-month old has always had a hard time napping. Whenever he's been teething (he has six teeth, and only the bottom two came in together, so that's been often) he refuses to take one of his two naps. But this time I don't think he's teething, and he DESPERATELY needs two naps. For about a month now he will only take one. Either a morning one about 8am or 9 for an hour and twenty minutes and then up tired and fussy for the rest of the day, even though up until last week I've been trying for 2 naps, or an "afternoon" one about 12 for an hour and 20 minutes. He sleeps well at night. I think this started when he learned how to pull up in his crib. Now he will be up before I leave the room, and just shake the crib door or walk around and make tired but not crying noises for up to two hours. Sometimes he will start to cry. He also seems to reserve his dirty diapers for in the crib time, either during his nap or if I try for two. I'm sure that's uncomfortable. I have tried putting him down earlier, before he's tired. I've tried keeping him up later. I have tried making the time between naps shorter. I even tried going back to nursing to sleep. We have a consistent nap time ritual with book, rocking, music box and lovey.
He wakes up early (generally between 5:15-5:30). We've tried ignoring him until 6:30 or so, but it hasn't changed his mornings significantly. We've tried putting him to bed very early (in the crib by 5:15pm) if he only has one morning nap. We've tried keeping him up a little later (to 6 or 6:30pm) and then he only wakes up wailing around 9pm and again at 5:30am. I've tried just one nap hoping that one will lengthen. Augh! I so want to be able to help him sleep! I'm tired of having everyone offer unsolicited "he's so cute, he looks exhausted" comments--grocery store, mall, etc. We have been very busy preparing for a move, and my husband and I are a little stressed about that, which I'm sure he's picked up on, but it doesn't seem like that would cause him to stay awake in the crib. I also don't know when to change anything, since this week we're going to be in transition (moving a much as possible to the new house this weekend, except things we need to live here for another week until we're done painting). Please help!
--I do have the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," which I really like but none of the suggestions from there are working
After a month or more of struggling, I just decided to aim for the one mid-day nap. It's all he will take. I'd love to be able to get him to take another, or to sleep longer, but I can't force him to sleep so we'll go with what we've got. Thanks
one book we found really helpful was 'healthy sleep habits, healthy child' by weissbluth... it takes you from birth to teens... our daughter dropped to 1 nap around 13 months- or started experimenting with it.... so i don't think your child is too off schedule- but you know best if he's overtired! good luck
Been there, done this... Put him in the car and drive until his eyes close... take him for walks in his stroller until his eyes close... when he is older, put him in a burley(goes behind your bike) and take a bike ride until his eyes close. It makes a world of difference.
Hi K.,
I have a 13 month old that takes about an hour nap in the morning, and a 2-2 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon. I tried taking his morning nap away from him when he first started coming, but that flubbed up everything, so we just went to the shorter morning nap and then a longer afternoon nap. When I took away his morning nap he wasn't sleeping well for his afternoon nap. A lot of my children have taken two naps a day until they are 18 months old. Sleeping is a habit...adults enjoy naps, so why wouldn't children need them. My own children took naps in the summer time until they were in third or fourth grade...they knew no difference. A lot of people will tell you that children don't need naps after a certain age, but it all depends on what they get use to. Like I said, sleeping is a habit, and if you get in the habit of taking one, it is hard to go without one.
Also, once you get his naps figured out, he will be able to stay up a little later, and then he will probably start getting up a little later, too. As early as he gets up now you could probably still give him a 2 hour nap in the morning and a 2-2 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon. Once he starts taking better naps he will be a happier little boy...you won't be able to believe the difference.
C.
I would try and put him on a bit of a different schedule.
Bedtime 7-9pm sometime in there
Skip morning nap-he should be outgrowing that soon anyways maybe he's outgrown it a wee early. If he does fall asleep in the AM let it be a catnap no more than 15-20min.
Do your typical lunch, then nap from 1-3pm or sometime close to that.
Hi K.!
Please take all advice with a grain of salt and go with your instincts. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is a great sleep advice tool. You are most definitely doing the right thing by putting him to bed early. Putting him to bed later will only make things worse. My 11 month old sleeps an average of 12 hours at night with an approx. am nap of 45 min. and an average of 2-3 hours in the afternoon. Some kids need their sleep. It helps just to make sure that you wear him out as much as possible before putting him down. Best of Luck!
If the bedtime and wake-time he has are working for you, then don't change his schedule. If you want him to sleep longer in the mornings, however, you might need to push his bedtime back a bit longer (by 15 minutes each night until you have it where you want it). As for the naps, it sounds like your son is ready to make the switch to one nap. They do get a little bit crabby and tired while making the adjustment, but within a week or two, he'll have figured it out and naptimes and bedtimes should go better. What I've found with my daughter is that she can handle being awake for about 5-6 hours at a time (5 is optimal though). Try keeping your son up in the morning instead of lying him down for his a.m. nap. Maybe take him out to play somewhere and get him out of the house and distracted (we used the community center's play time for toddlers). Then after it's been 4 and a half hours since he woke up for the day, begin your naptime routine. Be patient and remember it will take a little time for him to adjust, but once he does, the one nap a day is great! I feel like my daughter and I get to do so much more together now!
Hi K.. First let me say, we all understand how lack of sleep for mom can be incredibly daunting and obviously exhausting! I hesitate to give advice as I am not a sleep expert, but I thought I'd share my experiences at least:
Neither of my children- by the time they were 11 months old- were taking 2 naps a day. I truly think if they are getting 10-11 hours of sleep at night, they don't need 2 big naps during the day. It sounds to me like you might be putting him down too early in the evening. I know it's tempting because he is grumpy, but try for a few days to bear it in the evening and wait until 8 or 9 to put him down. If you can manage to do this for a few days despite what time he has his daily nap, you might be able to get him to sleep for 10,11, or even 12 hours a night. I know it's easier said than done. My son had his days and nights mixed up for months after he was born. Then the day should go much smoother. If your child gets up at 8ish, has breakfast, plays or whatever until lunch time, then he should be ready for a good long nap (my kids always took 2-3 hour ones at this time).
I know everyone's internal time clock is different, but I think this is how most toddlers approaching 1 year old handle their day the best. I would have never been able to get my kids to take 2 naps at 11 months and I figured it wasn't worth fighting especially if I know they are getting at least one and enough sleep at night.
Good luck and sweet dreams!
I agree with Beth. Bedtime should be sometime between 7-9. We've pretty much always used 8, but sometimes it gets pushed back to 8:30 or 9 now (my daughter turns 3 next week). If he goes to bed later, he should start waking up later in the morning after he adjusts to the change. I wouldn't give him an 8AM or 9 AM nap, either. If he definitely needs one, I'd make him wait until 9:30 or 10, and then put him down for an afternoon nap sometime around 2 or 3 o'clock. I think the afternoon nap is more important for him than the morning nap, and if he doesn't take a morning nap, you may want to feed him lunch and then put him down right after lunch.
Is it dark in his room when he is waking up? Is that why he is waking up in the morning, or is it because he is wet, or hungry? If he still wakes up at 5 or 5:30, you could change his diaper and leave him in the crib a little while before you fed him (as long as he isn't having an absolute fit). If his room is not very dark, you could buy some blackout shades or blackout drapes to darken his room. Is he eating enough solid foods at dinner time to hold him over until the morning? If he isn't eating enough, that may be why he is waking up, too. If he is waking up because he is soaked, you may want to check his diaper right before you go to bed. That may not work if he is a very light sleeper and won't go back to sleep for you, so take that with a grain of salt.
Good luck with your move! We are preparing for a move as well- they aren't much fun, are they?
kids sleep as they need to....let him run his course-let him play til he drops-i know naps are your salvation times-but bedtime at 5pm thats kinda early isnt it??and he sleeps a straight 12 hours??my kids bed time was 8pm-they slept til 6-7 am....i think hes getting way to much sleep myself....try changing his bed time...
Both are my kiddos are the exact same way! I'm guessing from your comments that you have read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby". If not, I highly recommend it! I would recommend keeping bedtime where it's at! Both of my kiddos still go to bed between 6:30-7:00. My 3 year old stopped taking 2 naps a day when she was right around 11 months old. She was crabby for a month or so, but then became a "good" napper in the afternoon. (she was a HORRIBLE napper before then). I would keep Misses Crabby Pants up until 1pm, and then put her down for a nap. She usually cried for awhile, but once she fell asleep, she was down for about 2 hours. She stopped taking naps all together when she was 2 1/2 years old. My 9 month old is on this same track. She will only sleep for 40 minutes at a time, and hopefully we get 2 naps in with her. My only reassurance this time around is knowing that it DOES get better after their 1st birthday! Good Luck!! (and hang in there)
Get yourself a sleep book. There are a couple that are good. We use the Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. It even has a section in the back for routine busters like moving and how to deal with that. The book goes all the way up to age 5. It has worked wonders for our two kids. It helped us with a move, and a new baby. But he definitely sounds overly tired. Hope this helped some.
