I have a 10 year old boy that is particular to say the least. He is very agreeable for certain tasks, but if there is something he doesn't want to do, he really digs his heals in. The particular situation I am seeking advise on is dealing with pain issues. A little about his past experience related to the fear is that he experienced a staph infection, MRSA, that got pretty bad while he was away for the summer. When he got back, he had allowed some insect bites to become infected, and in the process of his immune system being low, contracted the MRSA. I had to take him to the doctor twice for it to be lanced. They do not give pain medicine because the site doesn't register and he'd feel the pain anyway. Needless to say, this was extremely traumatic for both of us, complete with 3 nurses and myself holding him down while the doctor dug in his leg. I get emotional thinking about it, and he won't even discuss it, though I try to make him do it. (He "hates" showers right now, and I've brought up the cleanliness issues and the staph to no avail.) Well, he has 2 cavities and the visit to the dentist did not go well at all. And he's closed up about it. I am looking for advise on how a) to convince him that he has to "man up" and deal with it and b) suggestions on what medicine he could take to ease the pain, as well as more words of encouragement. I have talked myself blue in the face, in the nicest way as well as stern. Don't want either of us to go through this anymore. He has a younger brother, but seeing him walk through these things confidentally does not do anything for him.
I do have a most wonderful Austin dentist, Dr. Brian Freidell ###-###-####). My husband had some traumatic dentist baggage and went for oh, say, 10 years without going to a dentist. Dr. Freidell has been able to work with him in a most gentle and caring manner - with a sense of humor. He's a dad, too - has young sons.
Tough situation! You know you have to get him that care, though. Hang tough, mama!
Considering the trauma he went through, of course he is scared. It is not a logical thing, it is just his nervous system reacting to protect him. Sounds like he might benefit from a few counseling sessions if you have insurance. Look at something called EMDR (see www.emdria.org)- a few sessions with someone experienced in this could really lessen his fear. I am trained in EMDR and can answer questions that you may have.
Hi Y.,
Unfortunately I don't have a good way to get him to go to the dentist to begin with but perhaps could I suggest a pediatric dentist?
My son is 4.5 years old and back in April we found out he had a cavity. We take him to Danny Watts (up near Arboretum) and he is fantastic with children. Before his procedure he got anti anxiety drink. I wasn't excited about my son getting too much medicine at first but I read about it and it was safe AND they had antidote if he should react to the medicine right there. Then they gave him Nitrous Oxide during procedure and he looked out cold but still conscious enough to follow directions. But all in all he had a very painless and great experience that he doesn't think much about going to the dentist. It makes 6 month checkups really easy too.
I hope you find a way to get his teeth fixed. Good luck!
Even under good circumstances many people, especially men, do not like to go to the doctor or dentist. They really just do not handle that type of pain as well as women.
Have you spoken to the dentist about what type of pain medicine your son will be given? Or what he may suggest as an alternative to your son being just given the local shot. I know when you have your wisdom teeth removed they can put the patient under anesthesia.
Also maybe have your son visit the dentist and have a conversation about what exactly he can expect. And what will happen if he does not have the cavities filled.
Have you asked about maybe giving him an anti-anxiety medication for the day of the procedure? Maybe also speak with your sons regular doctor about what he suggests? Just make sure you also work with the Dentist.
There are natural things your son could take to help him not be so stressed. They have natural herbs, but again you will need to let the dentist and physician know about them since they can have an effect with certain medications.
You are the parent. You must stay calm, you also are not alone. Many children do not like to not "be in control" even without his past experience. The more you play into his fears, the worse it will be. YOU need to be self assured and in control. Be honest with your son. My mother used to always say, "there will be some discomfort, but it will not last forever." "She would say "the more relaxed you are, I promise the less pain you will have." She was right. The first time I just took long breaths, and calmed down was the first time I realized shots did not have to hurt! I think being tense was what was causing the shots to hurt.
