10 Month Old Throwing Fits

All that I have read says that tantrums (in little ones) are the result of frustration, not being able to communicate, not getting what you want, ect. How you handle it is up to you. I handle my daughter's fits depending on the situation although it's been said consistancy is best. When she is not getting what she wants, I sooth or ignore depending on what she wants, when I dont understand I usually sooth, when I can tell she is just tired she goes down for a nap. Good luck!

IF he is close enough blow in his face when he is screaming it will make him catch his breath and every time he starts up blow again. once he calms down talk soothingly to him and comfort him. let him know you will be there for him but the anger will not be tolerated.
Good luck
Jan

First let me tell you about myself, I'm a mother of four, have been married for 20 years. I definitely remember those days eventhough my youngest are now 13. My sons seem to be the ones that would act the way your son is acting (for the time being). What I catch myself doing naturally was to scream back louder at them, but that changed because there's so much simple, yet, wise advise out there that you too ought to give some a try.
Since you mentioned God, I would mention the Bible and I believe this applies to even children: In Proverbs 16:24 it says that "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones". So, Catch yourself being the wise adult your child needs as a parent. Children seem to reflect when they perceive stress. Take time to unwind with him or when he is close by, most of all show him that you care no matter what, even if he's in the wrong....raise a child worthy of a mom like you! One day he'll be a great husband likely to stick it out through stressful times with his life partner. The simple fact that you are seeking advise to be a better mom makes you a wise one! stop the cycle of "screamers" and "smoke blowers", read the book of Proverbs to your child, It has been instrumental to me in raising wise and go-getter children. Each one of my four still have their own individual strong personalities, and by being kind, or even when they get loud to express their points of wiev, that would not make them "wimpy". Actually they'll know what fights to pick, fights worth fighting for that would make any mom proud. Again everything starts with simple wisdom so give Proverbs a try.....it's so simple even your kid will go, Dah.......!!

<>< God Bless

Hi Tracy,

My son is 15 months old now and started with the fits a few months back. Usually I can't leave the room I'm in because I'm there for a reason (cooking dinner, folding lanudry, etc.). So I pick him up while he is screaming and put him in another room. I usually don't say anything while I'm moving him. I don't want my impatience to come out in my tone or my words. The idea is for him to stay there while he screams it out and when he's done he'll find his way back to me. Sometimes by the time he gets back to me he's either better or screaming again. If he's better I pick him up and give lots of hugs and kisses and tell him that I love him but I will not tolerate the fits (I know he really doesn't understand but it helps he big brother to hear it too). If he's screaming by the time he gets back to me I put him back in the other room and we go through the whole routine again. I'm praying this phase will end soon.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll find something that works for you and your son.

A.

My youngest daughter used to throw serious temper tantrums and my pediatrician suggested splashing cold water in her face. Initially, I thought that was inhumane... But one day, the fits were too much for me to bear. So I got a glass of cold water, put my hand in it and splashed a few drops of the cold water in her face and I kid you not, she stopped dead in her tracks. It took a few times before she got the picture, but she eventually figured I wasn't giving in with that one. Later on, I figured the cool sensation of the water in her face was shocking and kind of diverted her attention. She is now seven and the temper tantrums are a thing of the past!

Good luck

My youngest just turned a year old a few weeks ago, so I'm familiar with this age. I would first check with his doctor to see if there are any physical problems.

I would not mock his behavior. At ten months old, the only way babies can let you know something is wrong is by crying. So when he starts, check and make sure everything is okay. If he's safe, not hungry, doesn't need a diaper, not hurt, etc..., I would give him a hug and kiss, and then place him in his crib and leave the room, shut the door, and go somewhere where you can't hear him -- outside or another room. Your sanity is important! Call a friend, watch tv, and get away from his cries. Check on him, and when he stops, act totally happy and excited to see him and pick him up from his crib and give a big hug and kiss. By doing this, you're teaching him that you love him, but that this behavior isn't acceptable, and he is figuring out his own way to self-soothe.

I know it can drive you crazy. Good behavior can be taught, and babies can be trained from birth. Check out "On Becoming Babywise." Its a really quick read, and less than $10. Good luck.

Ignore it! My son used to plop himself down on the ground and cry when he didn't get his way. I would just continue doing what I was doing, and not even look at him. Now that he's learned it will get him no where, he'll still plop himself down and cry. But, within 1 minute at the most..he gets back up and continue playing. Your son is doing that to get a reaction out of you. If you give him a reaction, ANY reaction, he succeeds. And-it will only get worse.

Good luck!

J.

Wow my 10 month old daughter throws fits too. If you take something away from her that she shouldn't have she starts crying immediately. If you pick her up if she's trying to crawl away somewhere she'll stiffen up and cry as well. I wish I knew what to do too. It's her way or no way, and she's only 10 months. This makes me fear the future a bit! We've been working on NO but she tears up at that too. I cross my fingers this is just a stage and things will get better. I will not give into her no matter how hard it is, especially if she's getting into something that could wind up dangerous, so maybe being consistant will play through and help. good luck!

I have a daughter who is turning 1 this week but she started throwing fits and even hitting at about 6 months. I am like you and my husband is very hot headed. Since she has never been witness to hitting, I can only assume that it is instinct for her to lash out when she is unhappy. I noticed the hitting was much much worse when she was cutting teeth. The fits are normally caused by the same things you suggested or because she doesn't get her way and hates the word NO. I find that if I hold down the arm she used to hit with and tell her "no hitting" she learns quickly. Now she will raise her hand look me in the eye and put her arm back down. As for her fits, we tell her it's not ok to throw tantrums and then ignore it. Her fits never last more than about 20 seconds now and they are getting better. I guess it all depends on the child. GOOD LUCK, I hope you find what works for you.

I am so happy to see that someone else is going through this! Although it is not very fun!! My daughter is 14 months old and is just now starting to grow out of those fits. All i started doing was ignoring her and letting her throw her fits until she was done. I know it is hard to listen to your child sit there and scream but i found that was the only thing i could do to make her stop. Good luck and I hope this helps.

First, let me say that my heart hurts for you...Sounds like an incredibly rough situation that you and your baby are in. You are in my prayers and I hope that you are able to walk through this difficult time and come out stronger and more joyful on the other end. Being a first time mom is a highly emotional and stressful experience even under the best of circumstances, so some of what your are going through is normal for learning to cope with motherhood. But you obviously have even more on your plate, and so it's even more critical that you have some sort of game plan for approaching motherhood.

I know it must be so hard, but try not to transfer your feelings about your ex to your new baby. Children are an incredible amount of work, but they can also give you greater joy than you have ever experienced. As one other poster said, your baby has experienced the same stress as you have-- children absolutely pick up on tension around them and are affected by it.

You have received some really good advice from other posters and I don't have much new to add...I will echo the first poster that the Babywise series would be a good purchase and a good read for giving you ideas for some long term strategies. You have to have a plan for setting boundaries, and this will give you a plan for adding structure and routine to your baby's daily life...which can have such a positive impact on his overall demeanor. That said, you may very well have some other issues going on due to the stress that has been on both of you, and it is always important to take the context of your specific situation into account. I have two little girls, 2 1/2 and 1 1/2, and you can feel free to private message me anytime if you just need someone to talk to or ask any questions:)

May God bless you and your baby!

Please don't think your 10 mo. old is fit throwing b/c he's like his abusive father. you might start resenting him(unconsiously). Instead, notice what's leading up to the fits. Overtired? Wants something? Talk to him in a calm voice, don't echo his screaming. You have to leave the room, say, "I'll be right back," or, "you can't have that. I'm sorry." in a calm voice. If you just got out of an abusive relationship, then your son did too. He may be a baby, but he was exposed to the stress and upheaval of the situation. please be patient with him, he'll learn to be calmer and more secure from your example, and as time goes on he'll act better from the better environment. Good luck and God be with you!

Hi T.,

Well, first of all I want to you to repeat over and over to yourself, "I AM A GOOD MOM."

You must understand this type of thing is very normal and he will outgrow it. (My daughter is 3 and 1/2 now but it wasn't long ago that I came here for advice on the same topic). Now I am happy to report that my daughter no longer throws fits and is an absolute JOY to be around. You must also understand that your son does not do this on purpose and you are not to blame. It's just part of his temperament, and something you have to help him learn to control. This does get better as he gets older, but brace yourself because most likely it's going to get worse before it gets better. You do have to figure out what works with him. So at first it may be hard to be "consistent" while you try to figure out what will work. But once you figure it out, just stick with it. First of all... don't ever ever ever give in to the reason for the fit. No matter what. I suggest trying something like the firm shhh. If it doesn't work... try to ignore him. Ignoring is what worked with my daughter. Don't get me wrong, she would cry for 20 min or more before she'd give it up!!

check out this link - it has excellent advice on how to handle these situations.
http://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?xyzpdqabc=0&amp;id=21&am...

And hang in there, I promise if you handle it the right way things will get better. I promise!!!!!

You must love and cuddle him in moments like these. Apparently he has learned that when doing this he gets your attention, good or bad, just like your ex did. He is very young and will grow out of it. I, too, have a 1 year old who's father is very verbally abusive. Because I took her out of the room when he was having his tirades, she did not learn his habit. By mocking his cries you are just making the situation worse. Figure out why he is crying and fix the situation. DO NOT become frustrated, as this could entise you to become abusive to him. He is only a baby and you need to remember that.

I would not be soothing and empathtic to his tears because he's trying to get your attention and by doing so your giving into exactly what he wants.

My best advice is to ignore him. Its so hard I know but it works. Especially since SHHHHHHHHHHHH is not going to always work. It's really hard to ignore a temper tantrum child in public, but whoever gives you dirty looks obviously does not have kids or dont remember their kids at that stage. When my son would throw tantrums in public I would say something like "I know your upset but I said no candy and I'm not changing my mind" sometimes I would repeat it several times, more for the people around me than for my son. I didn't want to look that the worlds worst mother.

One technique that really worked for my son even at such a young age as 10months was to put him in his room when he was throwing a tantrum. I would physically pick him up, place him in his room and say "I don't want to hear it, if you want to cry and scream do it here in your room" sometimes he would, other times he didn't want to be alone in his room and would stop screaming so he could come back into the living area. Now at the age of 3 when he still trys to pull the tantrum B.S. I tell him "if you want to cry take it to your room." that phrase works wonders for my child.

You gotta find what works best for your son, and stay consistant. GOod luck

Hi T. -

I love Dr Phil and I watched an episode once that said first make sure there is nothing physically wrong with the child. Second, try to see if there is some type of pattern you notice when he starts throwing this fit. I know when my husband and i first started having problems my daughter would start to throw a fit when she heard us arguing or even when one of us was on the phone with someone complaining about the other. It was like she was trying to redirect the anger. When she would throw a fit we would tend to her and stop fighting. If you dont notice any type of pattern and it is nothing more than just a fit - Dr. Phil says to ingore it as best as possible. Remove yourself from the room if you need to. Once he sees he's not getting a reaction from you he will stop. The more you react though - the more he will continue to do it.

Hope this helps!

Hi T.. My advice is to make it clear starting right now that throwing fits is not acceptable behavior. Sternly tell him "NO" and put him in his crib for a much needed nap. Let him scream until he falls asleep. I know it's hard, and it will take a little while for him to get the message, but he will get it. Just be consistent.

W.